De one with My Second R21-Movie

Sem 3 | Battle #01

Since yesterday night, I laid on my bed and shut my eyes but all prove useless when I try to calm my nerves for tomorrow's examination and force myself to slumber, as I'd need all the rest I could. Never thought a week could just vanished in a flash. Jeez! Today is my battle #01. Venue: SIM-Hall. Duration: 3 hours. Subject of battle: 7 questions on Financial accounting.

Turns out.. it was rather demoralising. I came out of the exam hall, thinking this time, I'm really deadmeat. Halfheartedly, tried denying the fact that I wasn't intelligent enough. Partial belief that it was within expectation given the amount of effort I've "invested" in this module. Big sigh.. Again, my inner soul questioned myself whether I've choose the correct career path.

The first question on bank reconciliation statement, I've already overlooked a few mistakes. Inevitably, it has caused me alot of time in rectifying. This also means little time was left to cover subsequent questions. A lot of time, I didn't really knew how to do as I've not been spending adequate time in practicing. Hence, this landed me wasting more time in attempting to interpret my concepts.

Else, the theory questions were a breeze for me. All thanks to fruits of labor from heavy emphasis in this aspect. Which I enjoyed.

As per previous years, I always landed myself deprived of time. Luckily, this time I strived to complete all 7 questions by moving forth everytime I get "bubble-gummed".

What's done can't be undone. No choice. Theory of contraints mah! Before looking forward to the next battle, had a consoling lunch with Zhen Ze at Megabits in campus. Had Black pepper pasta. Apparently, a black-coloured chicken was separately included on top of my creamy pasta. Erm.. edible. Then there was an orange-coloured soup which I though most likely to be pumpkin soup which Zhen Ze was puzzled about.

The second consolation was going for a jog in the hot blazing sun at around 4-5pm. Honestly, loved the feeling of being exposed to sunlight. It exhilarates a "reborn" feeling. Totally awesome when you feel the warm air around with occasional light wind.

Third console was meeting Mohan in town to catch my 2nd R-21 movie - Pleasure Factory. A film, directed by Ekachai Uekrongtham, which sets it's main theme on one night in Geylang.

In my opinion, movie's title is meaningful. As Geylang used to be where processing-coconuts factories were located, with the current recognition as a "pleasure-seeking" redlight district, hence "Pleasure factory" arises.

The erotic pictures and title ("Pleasure") misled alot of pre-viewers into believing that the film was just another sleazy sex-content film. I opt to feel different...No doubt, the film does contain sex scenes. Wait a minute! There's more in which I'd discuss further as follow.. however, caution those who have yet to watch the movie, please continue only at your disgretion. Hehe.

In my opinion, there were affections of love portrayed, solitude, every women's true desire and innocence.

LOVE

There was (motherly) love between Linda and her daughter as portrayed in an overly touching scene when the two moved to tears upon the daughter's delication of song "The moon represents my heart" to the mother.

Depicted also was the (affectionate) love between Jonathan (the cadet attempting his "first time") and Xu-er. He keep kissing her and even cried just because Xu-er told him she resort to prostitution to support her family upon her late-father's death.

Besides, there was (concealed) love between Kiat and his army buddy, Jonathan. This was evident in how Kiat fantasized about doing with Jon and waited outside throughout Jon's first-time experience. Distant from which you cannot have.. I truly feel sorry for this character.

Lastly, I feel there was a sort of "protective" love between Chris and Linda's daughter. He followed her, waited outside the hotel room and the last scene where he didn't do the teenage girl lying on his bed.


SOLITUDE

Everyone has his/her moment of being tired and oppressed with our constrained life. The film captures this moment of solitude where we just weep from time to time. After which, we'll continue again as depicted in the scene where Xu-er cried and put on her pink dress to continue business.

DESIRE

From the film, I can tell one thing. That most, if not, most women has a common desire: to have a man who is able to provide her shelter, sense of security and respect her through protecting her from any odds from life. This is perhaps one of the most fundamental culprit which had influenced conservative mindset to stereotype involvement of a male and female in relationship bah...

INNOCENCE

Without doubt, innocence is displayed in the characters of Jon and Lindy's daughter. Also, the loss of innocence is also depicted in the events of the film.

Overall, the film only managed to touch on the surface of the roles. Perhaps there was too much characters to be focused.

What were commendable was the actor playing Jonathan was bore enough to strip bare. There were less-seen filming techniques like inclusion of real-life interviews... In addition, there were comedic scenes such as "no vulgarities in high class "aquarium". (That was a good one!)

By what was more delighting was the show delivered for the audience to feel lust, lonesome desperation, tears and laughter. For which I'd think it's essential to make the ticket worth!

De one with Prisoner of Life

Bitter cold, frozen feelings

Life isn't a bed of roses. That's what everyone used to say when they find themselves trapped in distress. In my opinion, I'd think even if Life was indeed a bed of roses, literally.. it would have hurt when you get pricked by those untouchable torns.

Enough about roses and beds or even torns.. Life itself is cruel. It's harsh. Beautiful was only "painted" with temporary psychiatric and/or psychological sparks. Achievement, comfort, love and acceptance are some of such "joy triggers". Nobody is happy forever. That's Life... or is it not?

Our very perspective from Christian fellow-mates describe Life to be happy or the very least, at peace in its final stage. Of which we have to be familiar with - Heaven or alongside with God. My Buddhist friends or a used-to-be dear friend named Robin, shared their Buddhism teachings, which viewed "enlightenment" as the ultimate destination of Life. Nope..it's the human soul. Then again.. soul and Life. I guess both are not too far distinct.

Although I'm not a religious person myself, I benefited knowledge from interaction with religion. I supposed it was their culture which interests me. One of which I felt most inevitably related to was Karma. That all in life were balanced. Without pro, con would not have survived.

That was part of why since in-contact with Pure Physics in secondary 3, I loved Newton's 3rd law of Motion particularly. For those who didn't know.. " For every reaction, there's an equal and opposite reaction ".

It's true.. perhaps it's my bad karma taking it's place. Since young, I've thrived on being spoilt and dote by my family just because I'm the only male in the young generation. Then, my female cousins were jealous because they felt deprived of family warmth I guess.

Soon after I embarked onto my education journey, the karma sets in. I was cursed with being "anti-social". It's a curse. Not that I've not been trying. The ultimate impact set in a few years ago when "A" taught me the importance of being "outspoken and sociable". I knew it was just not me. However, I've been trying hard yet... in vain.

Perhaps it's my upbringing..perhaps I was too protected. But why just nobody accepts me in deep? That I'm a kind and simple soul. I care alot for my friends. Or is it I'm too much an attention seeker?

Anyway, what has this got to do in relation with Life? I can't deny but blast it out of my chest.. because it's really pitifully painful inside. MY LIFE SUCKS. It does and it's hurting very much. These feelings of depressed, oppression and having to deal with these unstoppable downs, I'm so battered.

I love my work. I have a passion. Which is what kept my going. However, lately I can help feeling left out. Like I don't belong to my colleagues as if there are some politics going on. What? Just because I'm quiet?

Family. Money issues. It's the same childish. I know I'm gonna suffer in the future. But it's my problem. I can't even deal with my present problems then they just have to fill in more until it's like never-ending!

Love? Sometimes, I just feel I don't have anyone whom I can really turn to.. Honey is like selfish sometimes, thinking all the world owns something.

Friends? I know they are there..but who really understand me much when I have difficulties expressing exactly how I feel?

Jeez... this is really hell... why is this dark cloud passing so slow on me.. when will the sun come out? Haiz............................ :''(