De one with Nearly-disaster

Winds in Hot sun

Today was a really slow day. Met Sweet for dinner today. Travelled all the way to Westmall to have dinner. However, the valuable 2 hrs meeting end up turning into a disaster. I was being really worried. Sweet just keeps misinterpreting. Me on the other hand, being un-understandable, eccentric and negative. Thus, pissing Sweet off.

Most of the time, I feel very caught up of what's best to be done. It leads to a disappointing outcome. Sweet advised me not to be stressed. If i don't change myself considerably, how to fulfill all that's required or demanded of me as a bf? If I'd just be myself, I'll be all quiet and introvert. I really feel very strangled. I'm striving my best but most the time, the odds are too overwhelming.

Everytime this undesirable and unexpected situation or outcome arises, I try my best to coax Sweet, try to make things back the loving way as before but sometimes, I just feel so lost.. no answers pops in my mind... as though all my determination and comfort skills are drained out. Sometimes, I really feel like a slave-of-love to Sweet. But seeing Sweet, being with Sweet just melts me down, telling me it's all worthwhile.

I treasure this relationship alot. Rather, my full willingness and unconditional have proven myself to make me love this person wholehearted. Definately, this is not enough or helpful because i'm unable to make Sweet feel this way. There are still events and adversities which I can't control. However, I still pledge my love, cross thy heart..and gurantee I'll ensure something thou have thy love for eternal.

I must mention too.. I'm really apologetic.. I get too stressed easily..like what Sweet said, it only prevents me from performing. And I'm too pessismistic. Resulting in causing Sweet to feel insecure. How foolish I am. Well..i must change.. just give me time please?