The most feared and irritating thing is having people developing the wrong impression of you and the stuff which you do when you do not have the chance to explain. Yes. Especially when it comes to work or anything that relates to any dealings with a third party.
I do give the benefit of doubt that I may have been over-sensitive or was it me who misinterpreted what Gabriel tried to say. Most of the evening, my demoralised mind kept questioning all the Jasons in me, convincing myself out of one of my worst fear - the boss thinks you are not performing to expectation.
It annoys me to fail people. Least to mention their expectations of me. It detriments their perception of you, altering their behaviour towards you. Yes, people are narrow-minded by nature. It's how they develop, using all sorts of reasons ranging from karma-consciousness to religion conviction to self-freedom decisions in order to remind them to be alittle open-minded on constant basis. It's sad but true.
Anyway he call me in when I was leaving for school. Darn. The "crunch time"begun with why I am bringing another colleague for stocktake, proceeding into sharing of workload, landed on personal attitude towards jobs till calendar. I got the gees of the monologue-conversation. It's just unbearable not to resist having this feeling that the person is implying that I'm not performing. Especially the moment he repeated: "I wouldn't take a job from a person who's slow in the work." Call me sensitive all you want but I recalled last year end the same was happening to me. And my manager could see I was really suffocating that she removed one assignment from me.
Some jobs I handle looks simple in appearance but alot of problems are discovered post- commencement. Others are tough jobs which require long time. To makes things no better than it should be, clients take very long to help what you require. Which prolongs and delay my progress and I hate it.
Consider myself pretty responsible. I came back on sundays for job completion. For the past two semester, I came back despite I was supposed to be on my study leave to clear the review points. I plan my schedules once I know which assignments I'm supposed to do. I strongly disapprove and disallow any chance for my client to be late or mess up my organised agendas and protect the interest of my company. Turns out, it gets jeopardised because I have to wait for my work to be reviewed even though the job was completed weeks or months ago. Else, client's incooperative or being unreasonable. And end up what? Just for people to think I am not churning out work. Well.. it's like this. Pretty unfortunately isn't it.
Everyday on the bus, I couldn't concentrate on my book. The troubled-mind just drift away, worrisome of my work progress which bears a couple of elements which are outta my control.
If only.. if only I had a guardian angel. What a mockery to even give considerations to this. *slap slap* Wake up from your day-dreaming Ja!
I do give the benefit of doubt that I may have been over-sensitive or was it me who misinterpreted what Gabriel tried to say. Most of the evening, my demoralised mind kept questioning all the Jasons in me, convincing myself out of one of my worst fear - the boss thinks you are not performing to expectation.
It annoys me to fail people. Least to mention their expectations of me. It detriments their perception of you, altering their behaviour towards you. Yes, people are narrow-minded by nature. It's how they develop, using all sorts of reasons ranging from karma-consciousness to religion conviction to self-freedom decisions in order to remind them to be alittle open-minded on constant basis. It's sad but true.
Anyway he call me in when I was leaving for school. Darn. The "crunch time"begun with why I am bringing another colleague for stocktake, proceeding into sharing of workload, landed on personal attitude towards jobs till calendar. I got the gees of the monologue-conversation. It's just unbearable not to resist having this feeling that the person is implying that I'm not performing. Especially the moment he repeated: "I wouldn't take a job from a person who's slow in the work." Call me sensitive all you want but I recalled last year end the same was happening to me. And my manager could see I was really suffocating that she removed one assignment from me.
Some jobs I handle looks simple in appearance but alot of problems are discovered post- commencement. Others are tough jobs which require long time. To makes things no better than it should be, clients take very long to help what you require. Which prolongs and delay my progress and I hate it.
Consider myself pretty responsible. I came back on sundays for job completion. For the past two semester, I came back despite I was supposed to be on my study leave to clear the review points. I plan my schedules once I know which assignments I'm supposed to do. I strongly disapprove and disallow any chance for my client to be late or mess up my organised agendas and protect the interest of my company. Turns out, it gets jeopardised because I have to wait for my work to be reviewed even though the job was completed weeks or months ago. Else, client's incooperative or being unreasonable. And end up what? Just for people to think I am not churning out work. Well.. it's like this. Pretty unfortunately isn't it.
Everyday on the bus, I couldn't concentrate on my book. The troubled-mind just drift away, worrisome of my work progress which bears a couple of elements which are outta my control.
If only.. if only I had a guardian angel. What a mockery to even give considerations to this. *slap slap* Wake up from your day-dreaming Ja!
No comments:
Post a Comment