De one with Have's

1 day before the last

There are always two sides to everything. The last time I felt the replica of this quasy feeling was when I graduated. You know, moving on and out from a place I'm super-accustomed to, where relationships are built, to somewhere else albeit I'll harvest better prospects. It's pretty sad.

Of course, we move on for the better. I guess I'll just have to stop all these clatters in my mind and walk bravely towards the exit to green pastures. Stationeries I used, my hand-writting, the chair I used to sit, relationships built can be left, memories and knowledge shall be packed away.

I know for the past few weeks I've been angst, complained and plus a tiny bit of whining. In fact, I was wishing time to past by faster! Guess the rush is over, I end up feeling dreadful. What an irony!

Well, wish me luck! Gain some, lose some. Omg.

De one with Get Out!

Warmest Earth hours day

I have been keeping quiet from everyone. Am beginning to feel the pinch from having made hard decision to depart. Like drugs wading within the bloodstreams, its dauntingly affect my emotion and thoughts. Honestly, I dislike this totally. Disgusted. Urgh.

Least to mention, the hot weather's not providing any salvation. I need to get this out of my system. Need it now! Need it fast!

De one with Frustrated

Eccentric weather

With much frankness, past week had been rather frustrating. I'm keeping my cool but the frustration is boiling within and god-knows-when the lid will reach its melting point. 

Am afraid everyone wouldn't agree more: leaving shouldn't be a rush affair. On the contrary, it ought to be an amicable, decelerating process for the hand-over. Just this month alone is  fairly depressing. Se-rious-ly. Yi po wei ping, yi po you qi. It's like a never-ending story! I'm perturbed by this. It all came so abrupt and uninvited without prior notice!

To aggravate the worse, I felt maligned. Especially by someone clouded with prejudice about you. Certain things just have to happen at wrong timing with the wrong person! In circumstances like this, do and I'm damned, do without and I'm damned. It's tormenting! *Hands up*, I just keep quiet and observe. Other times? I simply don't understand why humans, albeit created in God's image, have to pick against each other?! We are humans afterall, mistakes are inevitable. When you foresee the likelihood of problems what others can't, and you have the answer or chance to pre-empt the mistake, why don't you just tell me what's to be done in the first place, eradicate info-asymmetry than waiting to be pleased/watch the drama unfold?  =(

 

I called upon my fellow "musketeers" who met for desserts and coffee. The night was young, they brought me to a chic bar on the rooftop. As long as there was drinks, chillout, i thought, "Why not?". Turns out, the service was ridiculously, adversely bad! What turned out to be euphorically mind-easing transformed into an aura of immersed negativity, swirling like a tornado, encircling me. The drinks and bill though FOREVER to come, as if they run out of paper or water or something. Boo.. I swore my face wasn't as black as the night blanket skies, deprived of stars. It's a rare phenomenon. Trust me.

I recall my RSM has this rubber stress-relieving gadget. How it works? You hold it in your palm and squeeze. By doing this, you channel all in-built stress into exerting force when squeezing. I guess we all need distraction to slimmer down. Violence doesn't solve anything. Just gimme a hug and I'll be alright. Awww...

De one with Fake

Intimidating evening

Google images

Had an epiphany on my journey home. Without being emo, just figuring out what have I been doing to improve/enrich my soul?

Amongst so many things which I'll table below:
Activities and stuff...                                        Beneficial/improvement to...
1) Swimming, running, gym-exercise                Physical
2) Face-maintenance                                       Physical
3) Shopping                                                    Physical
4) Food                                                          Energy
5) Bible reading and attending services              Spiritual
6) Reading                                                      Intelligence
7) Watching musical                                        Pysche

I sensed something's missing. What about the life achievements? Things like how I learnt to play the drum, the pride of belonging to a "one heart, one soul" group, the gratitude from balancing work and studies, be approached and respected for something I'm really good at.. What have I been accomplishing recently? Uneventful.

The search for food for the soul seemed to have been neglected. Conversation with people no longer intrigue my curiousity and eagerness to learn and remember details about what they've said. Not that I'm not listening, I am, just not so much about being able to converse like a social butterfly anymore. I get bored easily. Could it be a symptom of ageing? Or plain exhaustion from nights of deprived early sleep or rest?

Perhaps I've stopped schooling after graduation. There's no continual push to stimulate the brain to work. Brain juice appears to become stagnant given the mandate procedures and stress-coping at work.

Sigh, where is/are the avenues to invest passion in?! Helplessly feel like a dimlly-lit, flickering white candle, located within the mass of diverse-colored candles, all burning like trip-flares, fierce and bright.

De one with The Lion King

Nants ing-onyama-bagi~thi baba (There comes a lion)

Sithi~uhhmm ingonyama (Oh yes, it's a lion)

Saturday evening was like a three-dishes course. Only in reverse sequence: Entree with desserts; followed by main course; and the end with anticipation of what's to come.

Dessert was definitely sweet and private, albeit having the next table just centimeters away. Perhaps it was start up and/or the presence of proximate audiences to our conversations, so the atmosphere was alittle still and quiet. But nonetheless, I must say with the first-time dinning experience at T.W.G, accompanied with an authentic pleasant tea-savoring and jotful dinning companion, the 30 to 40 minutes fared an overall 4/5 teaspoons.

From SplashMagazines

From Bam's blog

The curtain unfolds to reveal an African lady in hue make-up and obvious costume that gave her role away as Rafiki, the Baboon. Her bright voice announced the opening to the glamorous performance of "Circle of Life", a familiar tune that left a deep impression the very first time I watched Disney production in 1996. As if we're in an episode of Glee, the remaining cast, dressed up in elaborated animals costumes (there were herons, elephant, oryx, gazelle, giraffes, zebras, cheetah) flocked in through the aisles. The "Glee" technic. Haha.

I was impressed with the stage props actually. The glittering stars, fireflies bulbs, geyser eruptions, the trishaw gazelles, birds on kites. I love the scene of the stampede. The dimensional display of the approaching wildebeest was an eye-opener. It was like going for range and all the various size of targets are dancing on stage. And of course, the actors and actresses left a good impression with their powerful voices, singing familiar pieces composed by Elton John, musical by Hans Zimmer (one of my all-time favourite music composer). Special compliments goes to young Nala who had an incredible strong voice that appeals to the ear. They even present a few new songs (one rock-and-rock hyenas song, the others by grown Nala and Simba).

From A.M.Richardson

Finally, there were pretty humorous scenes. Particularly coming from Zazu (with his "Rasa sayang" song) and Timon (who roared the audience with his "Singlish")!

What wasn't very nice was certain parts fell short of expectations. The aircondition and seats weren't that fantastic. Stage's alittle too small. And certain scenes like "Can you feel the love tonight" should have been more romantic; the lioness crying with too long streams of ribbons..please; if only the magnificent prop of Mufasa spirit could move, woah, it'd have been better!!

With courtesy of Disney Dreaming

Overall, I'd give it a 3.5 bones for the musical. If only the programme book cost 10 bucks less, I might just give another 0.5 bone to the rating. Haha. 

It was pretty late, so we headed home shortly after the show. I thought, that was the end but well, there was more to look forward to... Wonderful evening. The lion, dinner and home trip!

De one with Food (Part 1)

Warm night

With global food prices rising at alarming rates, it is difficult not to blog something about it!

Although it appears Jason's easy-going with dinning experiences, those who know me well would probably tap you on the shoulder and convey that I'm pretty particular with food in fact. The office knows I dislike unhealthy food, especially those looks give the impression you're here for an oil-buffet; My closest friends worry when they bring me to buffets because I go for variety and not quantity; My family knows my never-changing favorites; even my exes take note of my affairs with food.

Perhaps it is best to clarify further. Picky "taste" doesn't equal demanding preference over food cuisines. In any case, I'd like to add a disclaimer clause (*grins*), I'm not a food critic, therefore do pardon my humble knowledge of food. It's limited! Haha

This blog on food shall come in two installments. The first focuses on the core aspects of food which I love, like, dislike and hate. The second will dwell on the types of cuisines I'd prefer. So yep, potential dinning buddies, kindly put on your spectacles if required, turn on your eye power and under desperate measures, feel free to take notes with your pen and paper readied.

When it comes to food, there are certain factors which ultimately determine our personal taste and preferences about food. I'd have to apply what I've acquired of marketing knowledge, twist a little bit to present the following "pull" and "push" criterias:
 

Price and bane list

When it comes to food, I'm certainly not into exquisite stuff. I reckon you'd recognise some without having me mentioning. Exquisite "delicacies" refer to abalone, snow-crabs, lobsters, sea-urchins, shark fins, monkey brains, bear's paws. I suppose the only exorbitant food off the bane list would be bird's nest (it's my personal remedy for cough).

Price is not an issue but affordable. Considering I'm not a food fanatic / someone being paid to taste, I guess it doesn't make sense to spend excessively over food that's gona be.. you know what I mean. Usually, it triggers the economist-mind in me to consider if the food's worth it's price. For example, a fish and chip from a hawker can't possibly cost 25 bucks. If it is, there better be a good combination that justifies its obviously over-pricing.



Texture

Texture of edible food is very important. If it's squashy or slummy, please refrain from serving it on a plate before me. Why pay for a meal that taste like cooked rubble bands or scrap tyres? Haha. So yup, I guess mushrooms (except jin zhen gu since it's a steam-boat must-have!), jelly-fish, sotongs (apart from calamaris) are definitely no no's.

Does that mean I'd draw boundaries with Mediterranean or seafood? Not really. It depends how those are cooked. Just don't have me something that requires me to chew for 10 minutes, the longer it lingers in my mouth, erm, i'd take twice the time to deliver it into my Oesophagus.

Oh oh! Anything with bones, fish bones especially! I hate it. It has nothing to do with a bad experience with choking. Never had it before. Don't wish to tempt with it either. It puts me off. While others are enjoying curry fish head, I guess I spend more time, dissecting and QC-ing the piece of fish to detect any camouflaged tiny weeny bones in the flesh at the corner of my plate.


Dry noodles are hazards to my throats and absurd. This is relevant to pastas and noodles which are deprived of sauces. Total turnoff.


Taste

Oh boy, safe to say Jason's pretty easy with tastes. Just not too overly salty. I don't wanna be a beneficiary of NKF donations fund (no offense meant). Sourness are only for beverage and fruits, and specially for tom yum soup. For everything else, unless there's any lemon used in the dish, it'd probably raise my eyebrows and ponder if the ingredients had gone bad?

Bitterness are intolerable. I always say "life is bitter enough, why eat something to make your life more bitter than it already is?!". I recall ordering the wrong vegetable from a "cai fan" store during JC. It turned out to be bittergourd! Omg. The weird taste lingered in my memory for almost a week before I regained the confidence to order any vegetables. Yes, it was horrifying.


Presentation

Would you eat something that looks like garbage? I'd probably would. Personal belief, it's no harm trying. I mean, don't judge a dish by it's presentation. That being said, it doesn't necessary mean if it's presented on a plate that's unhygienic or bears some disgusting insect corpse lying its glory on a bed of food that you're about to consume. These create an enigma. Remember the alarming news of roche or curry sauce that have maggots in it. Yuck. Its pain inflicted on our psyche. =X

At the end of the day, alot might argue presentation does matter. This is of high regard when a celebrity chef or some japanese customer is present. If it does, it's a bonus and appetite whetting. If it doesn't, don't throw the dish aside just yet. Efforts are invested to every dish prepared I'd think.


Ambiance

If I were to rate all these criterias, ambiance would probably rank third. No point being in a place that's awesome with the wrong company, undesirable environment. Deep-felt, I don't really like overly-crowded places, being surrounded in a clatter depresses me. I prefer quieter, soft-lighted places. Not necessarily having a restaurant involved. Sitting in a park, chewing packet food could fare as well as one with velvet chairs or posh tables.

Friendly staff is desirable. Of course, we can't expect the same from hawker centres. But I'd think basic politeness between a customer and vendor is primarily important. If service is bad, I'd probably walk out even before ordering anything.

Last by not least, smell of eating places are crucial too. Sitting at oil-smelling places cause me to feel nausea. Especially when you sit near char kwey tiao stores where the mist of evaporated oil blankets and suffocates you. Pepper lunch never fail to make me think twice. Once the oil stench gets on your clothes, it's a tough battle getting it off for what remains of your day. Good luck!


A creation of heart

If you bake me a cake or even buy something for me, I'll probably comment alot but 10 out of 10 times, I'd be supportive/appreciative to try and finish my share. That doesn't make you can make a guinea pig out of me yea. Its a polite gesture. And of course, I dislike rejecting people who are nice, subject to those with ulterior motives, strangers and quashy of course!

De one with Recent Break-Up

Decisive

It is said we tend to recall the beginning when the end closes in on us. This... I won't beg to differ. As I typed the breakup letter, fresh memories recollect like the reassembling of a shatter glass in rewind.

The initial first few days with the company was dreadful and tiring. Coming from no accounting background, I was like a brittle blank page tiding against fast approaching winds. My first 8 official hours dwell around arduous 3 years of compilation, followed by another 3 years of audit on the same dormant company. It was so chaotic it left a deep impression: Struggling with chaotic accounting entries, coupled with tough battles with administration and drafting of reports. Urgh reports! There were approximately 15 pages within each report. Each page took me pains from repetitive amendments on the alignment of text, grammar mistakes, figures-tallying, text fonts size, line-spacing, boldness of lines. It was mentally draining. But Jason perserved.

I was terrible at  the "language of business"- complete foreign to me. Just couldn't gasp or comprehend what these debits and credits mean?! Why expenses and assets are the former, why liabilities, equity and income, latter. That's not all! There were sub-categories under these major class. Horrible and messy experience. For a moment in time, I thought Emperor Augustus and Luca Pacioli might awake from their graves to smack my palms. Fortunately, perseverance stayed through with me, determination was called upon... for reinforcements.

Half a year later, my work ripped labor. I grew eager and nurtured speed and efficiency at work. Staying late became part of my life, least to mention the weekend sacrifices adopted to complete my work within the shortest possible time. A year later, I felt like I'm on top of the world. Not only was I excelling academically, job satisfaction level clock its peak and I swore I never felt more confident. All things that go out must come down. The euphoria survived a few months until my brother's incident caught us like a bolt out of the blues. Grey clouds swiveled and resided for awhile. Albeit all the lament, I remembered dragging my sleep-deprived and emotionally-battered self to fulfill a pre-arranged appointment at client's place the morning following admitting my brother to the hospital. That was a pretty brave thing to do. It was seriously crazy. Anything to account for responsibility to the company.

Perhaps its Murphy Law's at play. Things went downhill as far as relationship, family, studies and work are of concern. Pulling me apart like a ring of magnetic field. Overwhelmed, I sat down, exercised priority and placed work over my two-year relationship. Did it hurt for coming to a decision? Certainly. As it was pure unhappiness, I could only remember vividly, everything was crumpling down but I didn't utter a sound. I never felt the need to announce my sadness. That was when I figured my way out and later, developed a "love-at-first-bite/sight" with cheesecake and Swarovski. Things that never fail to melt my heart.

The thirst for adventure couldn't deny the boredom which sets in eventually. This is particularly why I'd start to feel lost and start losing faith. Doing something for long became routine, likewise for audit. The company wanted to promote me, but i deferred. No point pushing me into something I'm not mentally prepared or willing to commit. Something Mohan said had long-imprinted in memory: "Are you gonna remain an intern (undergraduate) forever?". Fair enough, I weighed the costs and benefits and decided it was time to focus on my academic. No doubt there were times I had to go back for a few days during my unpaid leave, at the expense of my examination revision. Thinking back, it was a real selfish act towards myself when I knew I was running out of time.

Most comprehensible it is arduous when it comes to train or duplicate yourself within a company. Not to mention the kind of emotion distress to see your peers leaving. Come on, I myself witnessed almost 10 colleagues resigning, it's no joke we feel the pinch to have them leaving an empty desk the next day you come to work. Sure, it's fairly acceptable, considering the nature of the profession where staff turnover are at alarmingly high rate. But we are humans after all.

Despite having said what precedes, I guess the reasons to leave somewhat justify the end. Basically, I figured its time to move on for better opportunities. I'm eager to see what auditors outside are conducting their audit approaches, how they document, the type of industries and exposure they get. On the other hand, the company needs new blood. It is not due to giving up, or stress that I can't shoulder. As a matter of fact, I did place all these on a balance scorecard, tabulated the results. Deployed costs and benefits analysis and therein indicates to leave would be in the best interest for the company and myself.

We tend to question what the company could give us. I'd think otherwise. It should be mutual. When I sat myself down to think about what more to give? Nothing comes to mind. This is scary. But it serve as a warning that it's in the best interest to leave.

At the end of it, sure, my uncle and best friend instill their "nobody's indispensable" ideology constantly. This is an undeniably practical and logical mindset. But I wouldn't say I'm a desirably bright employee. Just responsible enough to do things within my means. We should always look forward to how we can grow and best contribute where we have never ventured in. Just so, although it's difficult to part myself from comfort zone.

It is sorrowful to leave, but I figured it's a pain not to. I guess I've paid my dues. A better decisions for all of us, don't you think?