De one with Fake

Intimidating evening

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Had an epiphany on my journey home. Without being emo, just figuring out what have I been doing to improve/enrich my soul?

Amongst so many things which I'll table below:
Activities and stuff...                                        Beneficial/improvement to...
1) Swimming, running, gym-exercise                Physical
2) Face-maintenance                                       Physical
3) Shopping                                                    Physical
4) Food                                                          Energy
5) Bible reading and attending services              Spiritual
6) Reading                                                      Intelligence
7) Watching musical                                        Pysche

I sensed something's missing. What about the life achievements? Things like how I learnt to play the drum, the pride of belonging to a "one heart, one soul" group, the gratitude from balancing work and studies, be approached and respected for something I'm really good at.. What have I been accomplishing recently? Uneventful.

The search for food for the soul seemed to have been neglected. Conversation with people no longer intrigue my curiousity and eagerness to learn and remember details about what they've said. Not that I'm not listening, I am, just not so much about being able to converse like a social butterfly anymore. I get bored easily. Could it be a symptom of ageing? Or plain exhaustion from nights of deprived early sleep or rest?

Perhaps I've stopped schooling after graduation. There's no continual push to stimulate the brain to work. Brain juice appears to become stagnant given the mandate procedures and stress-coping at work.

Sigh, where is/are the avenues to invest passion in?! Helplessly feel like a dimlly-lit, flickering white candle, located within the mass of diverse-colored candles, all burning like trip-flares, fierce and bright.