De very first one

Sunshine with initial grey clouds

HEy!
I have a blog before..however sadly, i couldn't find and figure out my former passwards and username. (sobz)

Well, it's alrite. I've decided to start a new blog account. Hopefully this wil stay thru'out for a period.

Today's 14th. The very four months ago, i was spending this very special Valentine's Day with an overly special someone i've only known for a month ago. Really unfortunately, this relationship, like that mentioned in Jay Chou's song titled Long Juan Feng, ended as fast and easily as it'd started.

Sigh.~
Early morning i went for a light jog in the nearby Bishan Park (the one with the fishing pond), of around 3km. Soon after, i met my "bro" for a swim at Bishan Swimming Complex. hehe
what an achievement! I swam around 5-6 laps in free style. For all i can say, it's commendable for an ameature swimmer like me. (oops, sumimasen. I can run better than swim)

Though sun-tanning wasn't really that as desirable. Bro and i brunched at J8's food court. After that just walk around. Went into two VCD stores in anticipation of the release of Underworld : Evolution and Ice Age 2. However, end up only with disappointment.

Reached back home around 1400+ near 1500 hrs. I decided to watch the new vcds i've bought yesturday when i was out job-hunting with my close friend, Clara.

I watched "A season for Love". A korean film chronicies4 pairs of characters. About how they deal with love, loss and life in romantic, loosely interconnected stories. There's this lover. About how this 30 year old fire-fighter wanting to proposed to his lover but lost his ring at the fire station. Due to this, he delayed his proposal..unable to give his lover the assurance (who was waiting for the proposal and worrying about losing him due to the dangerous job). By the time things turned out right and he found the ring, he didn't get the chance to propose to his lover at the dinning resturant (the place where the girlfriend had always wanted to be proposed at). He died in a mission to save hostage in a burning warehouse. He did left a box (with the ring in it) and a video from the fire-scene..sign-languaging "I love you" to the girlfriend..

:: I cried. Thinking of the fustrating agony of being held up by ill-fate and unexpected obstacles in life..preventing one from getting to the one you really love so much. Why is it so that two people who are truly in love with each other, end up not destined to be together. Like Jay's Qing Tian.

There's this story about an 8 year old boy who desperately misses his career-minded mother who was hospitalised after diagnosed with stomach/cevics cancer. This enabled the son and mother to spend more time together. In the milst, the boy got to read and learn about their history from his mother's diaries. About how she brought the child up after the maternal father deserted them after her refusal to have the baby aborted. Towards the end, the condition of the cancer got worse. The helpless boy cried and plead outside the hospital, in the rain. Repeating how he will be a good and behaved boy if the mother wouldn't die.

:: This reminded me of the desperation of how i prayed. Thinking of all the impossibly foolish and possibilities which i could trade with God or Destiny, to get my late-mummy's life back.
Erm.. i shall take about this in other entries (?)

Next was a long-termed relationship between a guy who cannot find a job and a long-suffering woman who is beginning too tired of their relationship. The guy went against all odds, to look up and protect the woman he loved. End up, the guy found a job as a messenger for people who find it difficult to break up with their partners personally. In the end, this poor guy's client turned out to be the girlfriend who wanted to break up with him, stating a reason that she has already found a new love. There's this scene he was standing outside the supermarket store the girlfriend was working in. Him looking at his reflection on the glass window and saying what he normally delievered for his on-line clients, in tears.

:: A heartbreaking part of Love is the parting and letting go in the end of a relationship. It's about giving up the one you have been holding on too in your heart for so long. Giving up the one which your heart has been alive and beating on for. It's about forgetting the thought for patch-back, and letting your heart understand the true meaning of letting go, so that your love can find their happiness. It's about forgetting your selfishness. So as to give your sincere blissing to your love and their new-found companion.

Last is the situation about a deaf girl (the younger sister of the firefighter's girlfriend) falling in love with a handsome painter, dreaming of a perfect love. Yet kept apart due to a terrible burn on her left cheek.

:: I weeped. Remembering how my lastest relationship failed due to my shortcomings which lead to the ultimate reason of diffierences in interest. Sigh. If true love isn't about looks; about seeing the other party's imperfection as perfection... why do such heart-shattering failure befall relationships in which people really put alot of efforts and hardwork in it?...

Love really comes in many forms. I'm really tired. Why love ends and begins.. allowing space for despair, heartaches which last what seemes forever.