De one with "I understand how you felt" finally

Sunny

Since yesterday, i've been thinking.. about the failed relationship, opposing differences and feelings, thinkings between me and -A-. But, most of all, i'd really sincerely, apologise to AY. I really think you're a very nice and wonderful person. However, i still can't sort out my feelings. Like you've said, i'm really stuck in my past.

Although everyone would advise or even to a point, reprimand me to move on. No matter how much excuses or whatever pushing pursuasions, my tears still keeps flowing... heart keeps bleeding... mind keeps blurring up. Reason is one and simple... I really did love -A- alot.

I admit some of the things i've done were very stubborn and persistent. I admit I was too rash. I admit I was too foolish and gullible to go against our odds. But have you ever asked WHY?

Today, i went IKEA with my former campmate, our responsible and friendly gunnery specialist, Zhen Ze. After having went down to SIM (Singapore Institution of Management) for payment for our uni course. Which will be commencing on 31st July.

Everytime i went IKEA, flashbacks emerge in my mind. How we met your friends Derius and Kelly. That time we dine with Chris, V and gang... Lunch with Dexter.. Sigh.. I was on the bus, on my way back home. Listening to ipod but me mind was wondering off. I thought of the present lonely me... about our past.. I nearly cried. What the fark is wrong with me.

I shouldn't be doing all these. Shdn't even mention because I was too caught up, too obstinate.
Now, I understand how you felt finally.

How you used to like a person. Then after that draw your distance between them. You don't wish to hurt the person. Yet he's so superbly nice to you that you don't know how to reject.
I understand how you felt finally.

-A-, I love you. As much as I dislike you. Because... you disregarded and forsakened me.

De one with Superman Returns

Clear skies

This evening, i went to watch "Superman Returns" with AY. The lastest movie released just today.It's pretty cool. Alot of zoom in and zoom out, fascinating fast movement and filming effects. However, I felt the storyline wasn't that good.

The movie starts with Clark Kent, a teenager was sent to Earth in a crytallised porter by his alien father whose planet was doomed. He grew up in the farm where an old couple brought up Superman. The grown up Clark Kent was re-employed by his former newspaper firm. Throughout, it was dwelling between the bad mastermind, who discovered these powerful crystals left behind by Superman's father; unresolved relationship between a married Lois Lane and Superman; and of course, not forgetting Superman and his helpful deeds.

Gosh. Superman was goodlooking (omg, those brillant deep blue eyes), invincible. Tall framed but not that muscular. Although it's commendable of his rubber-bricked costume. Yet still not changes made to that ugly red briefs. hehe

Lois Lane wasn't so sexy nor intelligent looking... Sigh.
Oh, lame thing was that Superman was near dying towards the end of the part. There was a funny part the surgeon wanted to give a jab. End up, the syringe needle went bent. Hahaha!

I thought alot.. about me and AY. Just only 2nd day of dating. End up, i told AY that I can only give what i have and can give. However, i can't give a fully committed heart to accept AY as my lover. Sigh. Don't know. For a moment, i thought getting dating and attached with someone i love is what i truly wanted. That from which i'll be able to attain happiness. I was wrong. End up, rejecting 4 people liao, regardless directly or discreetly.

Sigh. I'm really like Superman. So closed to the one you have feelings for. Yet, you just have to let that special someone go.

And i truly understand what -A- meant when -A- said: "You can't determine what will happen in the future. Be it tomorrow, a month later..a few years later.."
:: You have to be the one saying it, to understand it's true meaning completely.

When will my Superwoman/Superman comes around and stay with me for life?