Heaven's weeping
From young, I've always got the idea that as human ages, they tend to be detached from stuff like cartoons which are usually deemed, by social norms, to be more suitable for kids.
Apparantly, it's evident to be less likey. It's as suggested by our movies categorisation. Cartoons are for the general public!
Was that a crappy intro? Hehe I can't be bothered. It's my blog anyway. hehe.. Just kidding. No offence.
Continuing.. from a very young age subjected to "Americanisation", Disney's production used to appeal alot to me. I loved Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. I enjoyed it so much I watched the movie on Laser Disc, repeatedly every week. It was the different and interesting personalities of the Seven Dwarfs which attracted me. And of course, I've learnt about "the happily ever after" ending to every story there was. Hehe. There were other productions like Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin and Bambi (my mummy's favourite show). I've always watched to watch Pinnocio, Peter Pan and Lady and the Trump. Unfortunately, I only read about their stories. Didn't get to see the animated movies until later age. Another of my big time favourite was 101 Dalmatians!!
I used to watch other cartoons like Care Bears, Banana Man, Conman (my favourite primary school hero!) and the educational Magic schoolbus. Not forgetting Tom and Jerry, a famous part of every child's life!
Warner Bro's production was robbing my share of liking for cartoons around the same time too. Bugs Bunny and gang was interesting. I bet everyone would agree that "Tweety bird and Slyvester cat" was the most popular! I used to feel bad for the silly Slyvester. And simply love the overly adorable Tweenty bird. However as I've grown up, I start to find that Tweety bird's body improportioned. Hehe.. I mean it's wings are too small to aviate it's oversized head. Oops. No offence to any Tweety bird "die-hard" fans.
Another Warner Bro's production was the old series of "Batman". Well..it didn't interest me until the era when Marvel superheros like "Spiderman" and "X-men" were introduced into the later years of my childhood.
Cartoons have evolved over the years with advanced technology. Increasing 2D cartoons are more elaborated and detailed. Some even incorporated 3D effects which is becoming more relevant and evident in current cartoon movies like Mulan (relates to my curiosity for China history), Hercules (relates to my interest for Greece mythology) and Prince of Eygpt (relates to my liking for the epic show "10 commandments"). Of course, there are many more... Not forgetting Lilo and Sitch. In the 21st Century, cartoons were also combined with live shootings, For example Space Jam, a film with a perfect mix of less artificial cartoons characters and live actors. All the wonders of Blue and Green screen-effect!
Another thing I've realised from the cartoons evolution is that cartoons were not longer just protraying western characters. It is increasingly emobodying different stories depicting a diversed range of cultures and nationalities. Well, except the old production of Aladdin which shows Indian characters. Even the accents are accurated in the English language the characters of individual nationalities are spoken. I used to find it particularly true for Mulan, spare the Mushu character. It really provide me with something which is new and interesting. Something in the manner of speech and art which I can relate to.
Well.. I would highlight that cartoon movies are not appealing enough to the older generations. That's partly the reason why Pixel productions exist! Cartoons were shown with computer effects, offering characters in 3D effects. Well, my favourite Pixel production is which? (make a guess lah.....)
It's the Incedibles. I love this show so much I bought the DVD and watched it repeatedly. I think till date, I've watched the show at least 20 over times. Hehe..
The movie starts with an unexpected interview with the different Supers. It talks about how Mr Incredibles was doing superbly fine with his acts for the community until everything turned into chaos. To deal with the increasing lawsuits and complaints about the Supers in community, the Government had no choice but introduce the "relocation" programme for the Supers to live as normal human beings with their identities undercovered.
After 15 years, Bob Parr (previously Robert Parr aka Mr Incredible) and his wife lived normal lives with their three kids, Violet (who can turn invisible), Dash (with supersonic movement ability) and Jack-jack in the Suburbs. Now he's a clock-punching insurance claims adjuster fighting boredom and a bulging waistline.
Itching to get back into action, Bob gets his chance when a mysterious communication summons him to a remote island for a top-secret assignment. Not knowing this was all conspired by Sydron, a demoralised and dejected fan of Mr Incredible, Bob got his family involved in the challenging fight against Sydron's evil plot to injure the community and his revenge on Mr Incredible.
In the end, the Parrs defeated the dangerous robot (Sydron's evil weapon) with the help from Frozone (Bob's buddy). These Supers gain appreciation from the public once again.
I love Jack jack the most because he's simply unresistably cute. Oops. I've always love babies.
Well.. Toy Story was another film which I loved. My younger brother loves it too! It really brings back fond memories of how we used to play with toys. What most of us didn't realise was we tend to neglect our childhood "toy companions". It's really a sad thing for toys. The true meaning of toys was clearly defined in Toy Story: Every toy is to bring joy to children, to provide them fun and happy memories through their childhood period. It's really touching!
Pixel movies are increasingly taking the world like storm. Recently, Over the Hedge, Antz Bully, The Barnyard and Monster House are fine examples of how producers provide audiences with amazement, moral values through personifications of characters which only cartoons are able to appeal not only to the kids (the forever patrons) and the older generations too!
Thursday, August 31, 2006
De one with My Worst Biz Computing lesson
Must have been "Crying-competition" in Heaven
Early morning it was already rainning like nobody's business. Omg. Early morning left house after eating an extremely spicy tuna curry puff (which I bought from Bukit Batok yesterday). Till 400 metres outside then it occured to me that Ive forgotten to bring my thumb-drive for my ISYS 2059: Biz Computing lesson. Sigh. No choice, had to walk back home to get it, through the long sheltered walk-way.
Transportation traffic got me on my nerves today. By the time I reached the busstop from which I usually take bus 74, I missed a single deck bus. Stranded at the busstop for the next 20 mins, my long awaited bus finally came. To my disappointment, it was a single decker bus which was already boarded with passengers, packed like sardines! Omg! It's so sucky, when you waited so long just for a bus during peak hour and the transport turn out to be a SINGLE DECKER! Of course, no choice, gotta wait for the next one. Fortunately, the next one came within 5 mins' time. It was a non-conditioned double decker.
In the bus, something interesting occurred. I shared the same seat with a girl (another uni-student) who possessed the same Samsung E900 mobile phone as me! And what's more coincident was both of us used the same message alert tone. Omg! What are the odds of such event? Ha! Perhaps this was to compensate for me arriving late at campus. Sigh.
Thank goodness I wasn't the last to arrive. There were others who were late. Well..the lecturer Dr Lawrence Sim wasn't particular about this. My luck abit.. that the lecture just started when I arrived.
I always believe everything in life is related to Newton's 3rd Law of matters, in which everything has an action and equal and opposite reaction force. Well.. so was luck in class today.
The computer unit's mouse was faulty today. You must be wondering why I didn't just change to other available unit right? Sadly, the whole lab was filled with full attendence. Omg! Throughout, it was really testing my patience with an un-responsive mouse. Sigh. It was something faulty with the roller. Can you imagine how inconvinent it is to use a roller-mouse instead of an optical mouse? sigh. I was extremely slow in my Excel worksheet today. This really earned my worst Business computing lesson. Towards the end of the lesson, I was really demoralised with the fact that my productivity is restrained with an inadequate, ineffective learning equipment.
The rain continued after lesson. Totally ruined the idea of going swimming with Zhen Ze. I intended not to have lunch today. However, Zhen Ze and Guan Hui wanted to eat. I was also feeling bad for rejecting them most of the time. So I went. We left campus for lunch at Ngee Ann Polytechnic. Thanks to the poly students having holidays now, the canteen was greatly less crowded than usual. I tried Ee-mee with diced chicken on hotplate. The serving was more worth than it's cost price of $2.80. The noodles was really too much. End up, I ate only 1/4 of the noodles, all the vegetables and part of the "sunny-side up" egg. To complement the meal with a healthier choice, I drank fresh and soothing watermelon juice.
Over lunch, Guan Hui was reprimanfing me for spoiling his appetite yesterday evening at Westmall before I met Sweet. You see, Zhen Ze and him went to the food court upstairs to order snacks from the "dim sum" store. Guan Hui had fried carrot cake. He offered me but I refused. Erm.. he got very bothered when I told him my reason for rejection, that the food was deep fried and full of oil. On his way back, he was so affected by what I've said, that he gave up eating his remaining curry puff which was supposedly delicious. Hehe. He left and went back to campus, where his mother's car was waiting for him. Zhen Ze and I left and proceed to NP's busstop shortly after.
I discovered that bus 52 was another choice to bring me home. What it didn't occur to me was the downpour became obvious when I was along Lornie Road. Omg. I end up wasting more money having to drop at the busstop where bus 133 was available. What a long route to enable me to alight where I can walk a sheltered walkway home.
Went for a nap after which I decided to send Sweet a few MMS of myself. I recalled Sweet used to ask me for self-pic for "cheering the day" purposes. Well.. now.. I'm doing it just to revived those nostalgic sweet moments. I guessed most relationships are like this bah.. feelings and lovely things you do with your love, fade overtime due to increasing diverting of commitment to other aspects in life. For me, I still hold alot of my initial efforts and dedication to my relationship. It's just a form of loyalty. Hehe, perhaps I'm suitable to be in a customer provider service-line? Perhaps not. It's just another part of Sweet that's incorporated into my life.
As much as I want, as much as what I can only hope for.. I know I can't demand an equal or equivalent measure of affections from Sweet. I went jogging today. In the milst of me cooling down as I was dissipating vapourised water vapour, I suddenly remember of my flawed thinking. That I'm too sensitive sometimes. I start to feel incompetent and overwhelmed with insecurity. Subconsciously, I would drown into a complexity of thoughts. Wondering if Sweet is really busy... or substituting time with me for other rival (omg!)... or Sweet's tired of me?
Of course, it takes personal will power to fetch my logic and rationality awake. That I shouldn't doubt Sweet. Alot of times like these, I dare not tell Sweet. Why, not that I've not tried. Unfortunately, I was afraid how Sweet would feel and the aftermath impact on our relationship.
Reason for not telling Sweet:
[1] Sweet will become stress and unhappy that I've been thinking so much
[2] Sweet might just be demoralised or unappreciated with my distrust in what Sweet reasoned
[3] Sweet get agitated when I mention Sweet having a 3rd party between us
[4] Sweet's smses have always emphasised that Sweet's never tired of me
Back at granny's place, I've just received my SIM membership cum student card from my daddy who brought it over from house. Nothing special. Just a card to indicate I'm an uniSIM student. Gosh, tomorrow I've to make a trip down to Transitlink counter for application of a student concession card.
:: Sweet, I miss you lots. It's gonna be tough not being able to see you more oftenly for the next few week.
Early morning it was already rainning like nobody's business. Omg. Early morning left house after eating an extremely spicy tuna curry puff (which I bought from Bukit Batok yesterday). Till 400 metres outside then it occured to me that Ive forgotten to bring my thumb-drive for my ISYS 2059: Biz Computing lesson. Sigh. No choice, had to walk back home to get it, through the long sheltered walk-way.
Transportation traffic got me on my nerves today. By the time I reached the busstop from which I usually take bus 74, I missed a single deck bus. Stranded at the busstop for the next 20 mins, my long awaited bus finally came. To my disappointment, it was a single decker bus which was already boarded with passengers, packed like sardines! Omg! It's so sucky, when you waited so long just for a bus during peak hour and the transport turn out to be a SINGLE DECKER! Of course, no choice, gotta wait for the next one. Fortunately, the next one came within 5 mins' time. It was a non-conditioned double decker.
In the bus, something interesting occurred. I shared the same seat with a girl (another uni-student) who possessed the same Samsung E900 mobile phone as me! And what's more coincident was both of us used the same message alert tone. Omg! What are the odds of such event? Ha! Perhaps this was to compensate for me arriving late at campus. Sigh.
Thank goodness I wasn't the last to arrive. There were others who were late. Well..the lecturer Dr Lawrence Sim wasn't particular about this. My luck abit.. that the lecture just started when I arrived.
I always believe everything in life is related to Newton's 3rd Law of matters, in which everything has an action and equal and opposite reaction force. Well.. so was luck in class today.
The computer unit's mouse was faulty today. You must be wondering why I didn't just change to other available unit right? Sadly, the whole lab was filled with full attendence. Omg! Throughout, it was really testing my patience with an un-responsive mouse. Sigh. It was something faulty with the roller. Can you imagine how inconvinent it is to use a roller-mouse instead of an optical mouse? sigh. I was extremely slow in my Excel worksheet today. This really earned my worst Business computing lesson. Towards the end of the lesson, I was really demoralised with the fact that my productivity is restrained with an inadequate, ineffective learning equipment.
The rain continued after lesson. Totally ruined the idea of going swimming with Zhen Ze. I intended not to have lunch today. However, Zhen Ze and Guan Hui wanted to eat. I was also feeling bad for rejecting them most of the time. So I went. We left campus for lunch at Ngee Ann Polytechnic. Thanks to the poly students having holidays now, the canteen was greatly less crowded than usual. I tried Ee-mee with diced chicken on hotplate. The serving was more worth than it's cost price of $2.80. The noodles was really too much. End up, I ate only 1/4 of the noodles, all the vegetables and part of the "sunny-side up" egg. To complement the meal with a healthier choice, I drank fresh and soothing watermelon juice.
Over lunch, Guan Hui was reprimanfing me for spoiling his appetite yesterday evening at Westmall before I met Sweet. You see, Zhen Ze and him went to the food court upstairs to order snacks from the "dim sum" store. Guan Hui had fried carrot cake. He offered me but I refused. Erm.. he got very bothered when I told him my reason for rejection, that the food was deep fried and full of oil. On his way back, he was so affected by what I've said, that he gave up eating his remaining curry puff which was supposedly delicious. Hehe. He left and went back to campus, where his mother's car was waiting for him. Zhen Ze and I left and proceed to NP's busstop shortly after.
I discovered that bus 52 was another choice to bring me home. What it didn't occur to me was the downpour became obvious when I was along Lornie Road. Omg. I end up wasting more money having to drop at the busstop where bus 133 was available. What a long route to enable me to alight where I can walk a sheltered walkway home.
Went for a nap after which I decided to send Sweet a few MMS of myself. I recalled Sweet used to ask me for self-pic for "cheering the day" purposes. Well.. now.. I'm doing it just to revived those nostalgic sweet moments. I guessed most relationships are like this bah.. feelings and lovely things you do with your love, fade overtime due to increasing diverting of commitment to other aspects in life. For me, I still hold alot of my initial efforts and dedication to my relationship. It's just a form of loyalty. Hehe, perhaps I'm suitable to be in a customer provider service-line? Perhaps not. It's just another part of Sweet that's incorporated into my life.
As much as I want, as much as what I can only hope for.. I know I can't demand an equal or equivalent measure of affections from Sweet. I went jogging today. In the milst of me cooling down as I was dissipating vapourised water vapour, I suddenly remember of my flawed thinking. That I'm too sensitive sometimes. I start to feel incompetent and overwhelmed with insecurity. Subconsciously, I would drown into a complexity of thoughts. Wondering if Sweet is really busy... or substituting time with me for other rival (omg!)... or Sweet's tired of me?
Of course, it takes personal will power to fetch my logic and rationality awake. That I shouldn't doubt Sweet. Alot of times like these, I dare not tell Sweet. Why, not that I've not tried. Unfortunately, I was afraid how Sweet would feel and the aftermath impact on our relationship.
Reason for not telling Sweet:
[1] Sweet will become stress and unhappy that I've been thinking so much
[2] Sweet might just be demoralised or unappreciated with my distrust in what Sweet reasoned
[3] Sweet get agitated when I mention Sweet having a 3rd party between us
[4] Sweet's smses have always emphasised that Sweet's never tired of me
Back at granny's place, I've just received my SIM membership cum student card from my daddy who brought it over from house. Nothing special. Just a card to indicate I'm an uniSIM student. Gosh, tomorrow I've to make a trip down to Transitlink counter for application of a student concession card.
:: Sweet, I miss you lots. It's gonna be tough not being able to see you more oftenly for the next few week.
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
De one with Bettering
Rainny day
Today was a better day after all the "storms" and depression. I went jogging in the morning around 9+am. Well..partly because I wept the whole night for someone who hurt me alot.
Well..as a result of me unable to stand my blown-up long and thick hair. I went down to the neighbourhood salon after a quick shower. I've been to this salon for many years. It became a part of my life. From baby time, my granny would bring me to this Chinese barber. The shop owner happened to be the father of the current hairdressers in the salon I frequent. When I reached the age of 5-6 years old, the barber closed. Left with no choice, I had to visit the salon which was just next door. My aunt and granny always recognised the shop with a nick-name "Do-Re-Mi"..Haha.. honestly, I'm really puzzled why is it called this name. Old people and their names for everything! But it's fun and an easy-to-remember funatics. They charged me $7 when I was young. As I've grown older or during subsequent New Year, they increase the price. However, till date, they only charged me $10. Which is much cheap compared to those Salons there are. Yipee ai!
Another interesting thing was that I've always mixed up the two sisters. There was one who was much slim who looked younger. I always mistake her for being the younger sister. Turned out, she is supposed to be the elder sister. Hehe.. Everyone says the elder sister is more skilled in hairdressing. I couldn't agree more. Under her skills, I've always get nice personalised hairstyle. Well.. the younger sister's skill isn't very bad. The good thing about her is she always produce the hairstyle which you instruct her. End produce you'll get whatever you want. So.. hehe I feel more comfortable being fussy with my instructions.I
Anyway, I've got a nice Jap hairstyle today. The younger sister was the one cutting my hair. Sweet said my hairstlye was NICE.. feel so good today.
Macroeconomics lecture was fun as usual. Dr. Saminathan cracked a job about how we should asked for pay which is able to cover our capability and inflation impact. Haha! What a joke while teaching us about inflation, Philips curve, Unemployment and appropriate policies. I managed to understand whatever he was teaching. It's really gratifying as a student.
It was raining when I waited to meet Sweet around the house area. The rain didn't matter. It was really romantic. Sweet and I shared the umbrella Sweet brought, walking together, cuddled close in the rain. We went to this neighbourhood hairdresser which Sweet always been to and what Sweet considered "high class". Omg. Well, Sweet's hairdresser Iris (whom I guessed is a Malaysian) gave Sweet a slightly new hairstyle. Well, although I couldn't derived any lesson but..both of us had haircut today. It's just so loving.
We had dinner at the nearby coffee shop. Sweet asked me whether I had anything I found suitable to my taste. Actually, I was more concerned because Sweet missed the chance of eating the Bah Choy Mee some time back, so I insisted on eating anything even though the food didn't appeal to me. Well.. it's a nice dinner. I wanted to try Qoo (since I was affected by my marketing assignment on Qoo), omg. However, I bought two cans of drinks (Qoo and less sweetening Green tea) since Sweet didn't like sweet beverage. Despite Sweet wanted to share a drink with me initially. I bought a few curry puffs back for my family for breakfast tomorrow morning. And also, a mushroom chicken puff for Sweet. Muacks.
It's a Bettering day today. Spare the moment Sweet and I nearly fell over the verge of breaking up when I was waiting an hour for my haircut. Yet, I still feel unsettled as though fearing to tip the scale again. I really hope Sweet will change the undesirable attitude and whatever stigma. I don't want to be a sad soul again. Well, let's hope for the better. Every dark cloud has a silver lining!
"A little fall of rain, can hardly hurt me now. You're here..that's all I need to know."
- Injuried Eponine to Marius
Today was a better day after all the "storms" and depression. I went jogging in the morning around 9+am. Well..partly because I wept the whole night for someone who hurt me alot.
Well..as a result of me unable to stand my blown-up long and thick hair. I went down to the neighbourhood salon after a quick shower. I've been to this salon for many years. It became a part of my life. From baby time, my granny would bring me to this Chinese barber. The shop owner happened to be the father of the current hairdressers in the salon I frequent. When I reached the age of 5-6 years old, the barber closed. Left with no choice, I had to visit the salon which was just next door. My aunt and granny always recognised the shop with a nick-name "Do-Re-Mi"..Haha.. honestly, I'm really puzzled why is it called this name. Old people and their names for everything! But it's fun and an easy-to-remember funatics. They charged me $7 when I was young. As I've grown older or during subsequent New Year, they increase the price. However, till date, they only charged me $10. Which is much cheap compared to those Salons there are. Yipee ai!
Another interesting thing was that I've always mixed up the two sisters. There was one who was much slim who looked younger. I always mistake her for being the younger sister. Turned out, she is supposed to be the elder sister. Hehe.. Everyone says the elder sister is more skilled in hairdressing. I couldn't agree more. Under her skills, I've always get nice personalised hairstyle. Well.. the younger sister's skill isn't very bad. The good thing about her is she always produce the hairstyle which you instruct her. End produce you'll get whatever you want. So.. hehe I feel more comfortable being fussy with my instructions.I
Anyway, I've got a nice Jap hairstyle today. The younger sister was the one cutting my hair. Sweet said my hairstlye was NICE.. feel so good today.
Macroeconomics lecture was fun as usual. Dr. Saminathan cracked a job about how we should asked for pay which is able to cover our capability and inflation impact. Haha! What a joke while teaching us about inflation, Philips curve, Unemployment and appropriate policies. I managed to understand whatever he was teaching. It's really gratifying as a student.
It was raining when I waited to meet Sweet around the house area. The rain didn't matter. It was really romantic. Sweet and I shared the umbrella Sweet brought, walking together, cuddled close in the rain. We went to this neighbourhood hairdresser which Sweet always been to and what Sweet considered "high class". Omg. Well, Sweet's hairdresser Iris (whom I guessed is a Malaysian) gave Sweet a slightly new hairstyle. Well, although I couldn't derived any lesson but..both of us had haircut today. It's just so loving.
We had dinner at the nearby coffee shop. Sweet asked me whether I had anything I found suitable to my taste. Actually, I was more concerned because Sweet missed the chance of eating the Bah Choy Mee some time back, so I insisted on eating anything even though the food didn't appeal to me. Well.. it's a nice dinner. I wanted to try Qoo (since I was affected by my marketing assignment on Qoo), omg. However, I bought two cans of drinks (Qoo and less sweetening Green tea) since Sweet didn't like sweet beverage. Despite Sweet wanted to share a drink with me initially. I bought a few curry puffs back for my family for breakfast tomorrow morning. And also, a mushroom chicken puff for Sweet. Muacks.
It's a Bettering day today. Spare the moment Sweet and I nearly fell over the verge of breaking up when I was waiting an hour for my haircut. Yet, I still feel unsettled as though fearing to tip the scale again. I really hope Sweet will change the undesirable attitude and whatever stigma. I don't want to be a sad soul again. Well, let's hope for the better. Every dark cloud has a silver lining!
"A little fall of rain, can hardly hurt me now. You're here..that's all I need to know."
- Injuried Eponine to Marius
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
De one with "I've had it all" [Emolings]
Blogging this with tears flowing profusely
I really want to say a big Sorry to everyone I've caused any offences or hurt. Be it verbally. Or depiction through my actions. And if there is, any physical offences which I hardly ever did.
You know what it feels to be hated? I have. I was so obessed, ignorant and shamelessly incorrigable that I just didn't want to give up. Up to an point of no return, the saturation point where I lost my rationality completely. I can even pester you, annoying you with my idiotic in-comprehensiveness and exhausting you of all your patience and humanity. Making you lost your basic kindness, benevolence and converting all to hatre.
I've lived 21 years and 2 relationship. Many will think "What the fark".... "you're just still young and inexperience and ignorant". I dare my guts and touch my heart, I've been through alot and experienced alot. Dreadful lots.
I've been through absolute loneliness, from which I've learnt self survival. I've faced the extreme grief of having lost the closest person in my heart who was also the greatest person who conceived me into this world at the age of 19 when I was millions of miles apart from her. I've faced being emotionally and pyschologically hurt and insulted yet getting more hurt brutally repeatedly, due to my obstinate determination of not giving up. I've been through failures. Sharing the similar pain with people who fought so hard. I've been cheated a large sum of money. I've been slapped before by my ex. I've experience what's ultimate shame. Of course, there are more...
You know what's being submissive? It's depicted in my actions. You know what's paranoid and worrisome? It's rushing through out my mind.
Fark. I just don't understand. Why am I such a failure? I've tried to improve but the end product is still so demoralising, depressing and disappointing... Why is it I've been weathered through so much emotional distress yet every relationship I still give my best shot at it? Why do I have so much compassion to give?
I really wonder why is my life really so tough now?.. Is it because I'm can only be a friend... not cut out to be a boyfriend? Why am I in this world at first? Is it due to me having to pay from all the karma which i'm in-debt to from my previous life?
Why torture me like this? I'm really exhausted... I'm completely lost... my faith and will...
Can someone really embrace me or comfort me? I really feel bullied and completely souless. As if I'm forever in debt to treat everyone superior than me, like how those Jewish slaves were.
Haiz..this icy mix of shame, regret, heartlessness is suffocating me. I feel so worthless, deperate and uselessly helpless. All I can express is tears that never seemed to dry.
:: I love you Sweet... simply, plain sweet loving. Art thou knowst how thy feel? ='(
I really want to say a big Sorry to everyone I've caused any offences or hurt. Be it verbally. Or depiction through my actions. And if there is, any physical offences which I hardly ever did.
You know what it feels to be hated? I have. I was so obessed, ignorant and shamelessly incorrigable that I just didn't want to give up. Up to an point of no return, the saturation point where I lost my rationality completely. I can even pester you, annoying you with my idiotic in-comprehensiveness and exhausting you of all your patience and humanity. Making you lost your basic kindness, benevolence and converting all to hatre.
I've lived 21 years and 2 relationship. Many will think "What the fark".... "you're just still young and inexperience and ignorant". I dare my guts and touch my heart, I've been through alot and experienced alot. Dreadful lots.
I've been through absolute loneliness, from which I've learnt self survival. I've faced the extreme grief of having lost the closest person in my heart who was also the greatest person who conceived me into this world at the age of 19 when I was millions of miles apart from her. I've faced being emotionally and pyschologically hurt and insulted yet getting more hurt brutally repeatedly, due to my obstinate determination of not giving up. I've been through failures. Sharing the similar pain with people who fought so hard. I've been cheated a large sum of money. I've been slapped before by my ex. I've experience what's ultimate shame. Of course, there are more...
You know what's being submissive? It's depicted in my actions. You know what's paranoid and worrisome? It's rushing through out my mind.
Fark. I just don't understand. Why am I such a failure? I've tried to improve but the end product is still so demoralising, depressing and disappointing... Why is it I've been weathered through so much emotional distress yet every relationship I still give my best shot at it? Why do I have so much compassion to give?
I really wonder why is my life really so tough now?.. Is it because I'm can only be a friend... not cut out to be a boyfriend? Why am I in this world at first? Is it due to me having to pay from all the karma which i'm in-debt to from my previous life?
Why torture me like this? I'm really exhausted... I'm completely lost... my faith and will...
Can someone really embrace me or comfort me? I really feel bullied and completely souless. As if I'm forever in debt to treat everyone superior than me, like how those Jewish slaves were.
Haiz..this icy mix of shame, regret, heartlessness is suffocating me. I feel so worthless, deperate and uselessly helpless. All I can express is tears that never seemed to dry.
:: I love you Sweet... simply, plain sweet loving. Art thou knowst how thy feel? ='(
De one with Depressing day
Chocolate-eating day
Today's really been a sick, tired and depressing day. My sore throat have developed into a distressing dry throat. That kind which comes together with flu. Sigh. Feeling feverish ever since the day before and running nose. Very uncomfortable throughtout.
Early morning already indicated a day to cry about. Sweet and I had a "message war" about how we hold different views on a frill relationship. I really don't know whatever Sweet said, it's as though Sweet doesn't realise my love. It's like Sweet's not willing to commit. To me, I really don't know what's hell wrong with me. Feeling insulted, I stood firm, indirectly forcing Sweet to adopt my way of love-expression as I'm too used to people submitting to me. I regretted how I reacted. And really dejected why I would even think in a way that Sweet's disregarding. I was regretful over certain unreasonable things out of stubborness.
I was late for school this morning since I was overly concerned replying Sweet on sms. On my way in a cab. I was messaging Clara about what happen. Sigh. She provided some console like asking me to give Sweet sometime to be alone. I was feeling blue all the way.
Everything slowed down even more after arriving at campus. It was then I totally calmed down. I messaged Sweet again and explained that all the extreme stuff I've mentioned before, are just figures of speech and metophors. I was really gloomy and distracted in campus the whole day. During lecture, Guan Hui and Zhen Ze attempted to converse to me. I was unresponsive. I gave the excuse that I was sick (which I was lah) but subconsciously, I was waiting for Sweet's reply..an acknowledgement or reconcile.
It didn't take until after lecture ends around 1pm did Sweet call me. I was in the midst of my marketing project discussion. I didn't contribute much today to the SWOT analysis and marketing reviews. My whole body was heating up as though glowing with fire and my head was spinning.
Collected my RMIT Student card today. When Zhen Ze helped acquire if our Uni-student EZ card would be issued. Disappointingly, SIM doesn't provide. Sigh.
Around 2+pm, we wrapped up our discussion. Zhen Ze and Guan Hui pacify me to lunch with them at campus' canteen. Zhen Ze had Western Fish set. Guan Hui (who was on budget) ate cha Siew rice. None of the food appealled to me. Thus, I ate half a red apple and Kiwi. It was pretty expensive. $2+. Sigh. Zhen Ze played his recorded version of Jay Chou's lastest song Qian Li Zhi Wai. It didn't sound nice at all. Sigh. What a disappointment to add on to my glummer.
After that, we went to the Student's lounge since Zhen Ze wanted to look at the book sales advertisements. posted up by students. In view of our coming examinations, we decided that we really needed to refer to our textbooks. Thus, I got really broke after having spent $44 plus on my Marketing Principles text. I'm really broke. Sigh...
I made my way to AMK central to collect my altered ring from Lee Hwa. Exchanged my old antique grey POSB atm card for the lastest blue GO! POSB card. It's kinda cool that it encompasses a Mastercard function. However, disadvantage is that the cardholder is unable to use it for online credit card transactions. Omg. The colour and shortcoming of the card makes me feel blue...
Sweet wasn't responsive. Of course, all the way home, I kept thinking why do I care so much. What's the point of me being so overly-sensitive and self-depressing. My mind really went bonkers, considering whether is it because Sweet is communicating with someone new, thus neglecting me.
*knock head* *slap face*
Omg. What am I thinking!
Anyway, I'm really depress today..when I got home, I sat down to take a breath, pause my life and reflect why am I being like the way I am today..
Perhaps I'm expecting too much. Thereby greater disappointment, greater self-blaming and thus more derived sadness? Perhaps I'm not meant to have a relationship because the problem lies with me. I'll never make a good boyfriend. The fact that I'm unable to make others happy except misery, is so self-demoralising...
For that moment.. nothing. Just pure blank except solitary depression and a pinch of loneliness.
"How then am I able to stop worrying and thinking so much.."
Really felt close to weeping it out.
Today's really been a sick, tired and depressing day. My sore throat have developed into a distressing dry throat. That kind which comes together with flu. Sigh. Feeling feverish ever since the day before and running nose. Very uncomfortable throughtout.
Early morning already indicated a day to cry about. Sweet and I had a "message war" about how we hold different views on a frill relationship. I really don't know whatever Sweet said, it's as though Sweet doesn't realise my love. It's like Sweet's not willing to commit. To me, I really don't know what's hell wrong with me. Feeling insulted, I stood firm, indirectly forcing Sweet to adopt my way of love-expression as I'm too used to people submitting to me. I regretted how I reacted. And really dejected why I would even think in a way that Sweet's disregarding. I was regretful over certain unreasonable things out of stubborness.
I was late for school this morning since I was overly concerned replying Sweet on sms. On my way in a cab. I was messaging Clara about what happen. Sigh. She provided some console like asking me to give Sweet sometime to be alone. I was feeling blue all the way.
Everything slowed down even more after arriving at campus. It was then I totally calmed down. I messaged Sweet again and explained that all the extreme stuff I've mentioned before, are just figures of speech and metophors. I was really gloomy and distracted in campus the whole day. During lecture, Guan Hui and Zhen Ze attempted to converse to me. I was unresponsive. I gave the excuse that I was sick (which I was lah) but subconsciously, I was waiting for Sweet's reply..an acknowledgement or reconcile.
It didn't take until after lecture ends around 1pm did Sweet call me. I was in the midst of my marketing project discussion. I didn't contribute much today to the SWOT analysis and marketing reviews. My whole body was heating up as though glowing with fire and my head was spinning.
Collected my RMIT Student card today. When Zhen Ze helped acquire if our Uni-student EZ card would be issued. Disappointingly, SIM doesn't provide. Sigh.
Around 2+pm, we wrapped up our discussion. Zhen Ze and Guan Hui pacify me to lunch with them at campus' canteen. Zhen Ze had Western Fish set. Guan Hui (who was on budget) ate cha Siew rice. None of the food appealled to me. Thus, I ate half a red apple and Kiwi. It was pretty expensive. $2+. Sigh. Zhen Ze played his recorded version of Jay Chou's lastest song Qian Li Zhi Wai. It didn't sound nice at all. Sigh. What a disappointment to add on to my glummer.
After that, we went to the Student's lounge since Zhen Ze wanted to look at the book sales advertisements. posted up by students. In view of our coming examinations, we decided that we really needed to refer to our textbooks. Thus, I got really broke after having spent $44 plus on my Marketing Principles text. I'm really broke. Sigh...
I made my way to AMK central to collect my altered ring from Lee Hwa. Exchanged my old antique grey POSB atm card for the lastest blue GO! POSB card. It's kinda cool that it encompasses a Mastercard function. However, disadvantage is that the cardholder is unable to use it for online credit card transactions. Omg. The colour and shortcoming of the card makes me feel blue...
Sweet wasn't responsive. Of course, all the way home, I kept thinking why do I care so much. What's the point of me being so overly-sensitive and self-depressing. My mind really went bonkers, considering whether is it because Sweet is communicating with someone new, thus neglecting me.
*knock head* *slap face*
Omg. What am I thinking!
Anyway, I'm really depress today..when I got home, I sat down to take a breath, pause my life and reflect why am I being like the way I am today..
Perhaps I'm expecting too much. Thereby greater disappointment, greater self-blaming and thus more derived sadness? Perhaps I'm not meant to have a relationship because the problem lies with me. I'll never make a good boyfriend. The fact that I'm unable to make others happy except misery, is so self-demoralising...
For that moment.. nothing. Just pure blank except solitary depression and a pinch of loneliness.
"How then am I able to stop worrying and thinking so much.."
Really felt close to weeping it out.
Monday, August 28, 2006
De one with X-men
Sore throat, warm Monday
I believe X-men is a name which many would be familiar with. It's one of the most popular science fiction stories, comics and cartoons in this century. Since 2002, three mega movies have been made on X-men, named X-men, X-men II: X men united and X-men III: The last Stand.
Personally, I love the movies despite others would might opinion to be different. I love seeing visual effects and personifications of the characters. The movies provide how these X-men characters and their mtant abilities look like when in real life. That's the visual reality which I believe many are looking forward to. Unfortunately, I wasn't too fascinated by the Phoenix depicted in X-men 3. Perhaps like many, I was kinda expecting more of the powers of Phoenix, as impressioned in comics and cartoons. In addition, the ending where Professor X, Jean Grey and Cyclops died, was rather tragic and undesirable.
I've loved X-men ever since the first encounter on TV. If I didn't remember incorrectly, it was when I was in Primary 5-6. I recalled watching X-men cartoon series on Channel 5, 1030am every Saturday. After which Power Rangers would follow. That was an incredible childhood past-time!
Else, it was shown every Thursday evening when the cartoon would be telecast. To as much as I've recalled. I didn't managed to watch the entire X-men in order. It was always here and there. However, I find it as interesting.
I love Jean Grey alot. Simply because I was super amazed by the telekinesis and telepathy abilities which she possess. Isn't it amazing you can control movement of things and minds of others all within your mind? It's silly..but desirable. Hehe. Later, when she displayed her powers of the Phoenix, I empathise with her frustation, fighting against the Phoenix. The cartoon also provided me with a new image of a Phoenix. As I used to think Phoenix is like what you see in the Chinese temples.. coloured in multi rainbow colors. Little did I imagine the mystical creature to be in burning flames.
I recalled as a child, my parents bought me alot of X-men figures. Out of which I just couldn't find Professor X. Anyway, there was this particular year on my birthday, my ah-ma bought me a Gambit figurine from the neighbourhood shop. I was extremely touched. Ever since then, I started to love Gambit. He's simply so cool with red glowing eyes, his "happy go lucky" type of style and his amazing power to charge objects with exploding potential energy.
Although I've grown older, my passion for X-men didn't ceased. I started to understand that mutants are real. And that X-men is relevant in real life as it can be explained through Physics. Especially Quantum physics, one of my favourite chapters in my entire years of study.
X-men provides for a timeless and ageless realm for imagination. It's every child's dream-come-true kinda craze with all those un-imaginable superpowers. It's a topic which guys conversed in nostalgia. There are lessons of undying love like that between Jean Grey and Scott Summers; humanity and responsibility. Despite it's sci-fictious, X-men still capture many hearts of all ages. It's a really fantastic marvel creation of a lifetime!
I believe X-men is a name which many would be familiar with. It's one of the most popular science fiction stories, comics and cartoons in this century. Since 2002, three mega movies have been made on X-men, named X-men, X-men II: X men united and X-men III: The last Stand.
Personally, I love the movies despite others would might opinion to be different. I love seeing visual effects and personifications of the characters. The movies provide how these X-men characters and their mtant abilities look like when in real life. That's the visual reality which I believe many are looking forward to. Unfortunately, I wasn't too fascinated by the Phoenix depicted in X-men 3. Perhaps like many, I was kinda expecting more of the powers of Phoenix, as impressioned in comics and cartoons. In addition, the ending where Professor X, Jean Grey and Cyclops died, was rather tragic and undesirable.
I've loved X-men ever since the first encounter on TV. If I didn't remember incorrectly, it was when I was in Primary 5-6. I recalled watching X-men cartoon series on Channel 5, 1030am every Saturday. After which Power Rangers would follow. That was an incredible childhood past-time!
Else, it was shown every Thursday evening when the cartoon would be telecast. To as much as I've recalled. I didn't managed to watch the entire X-men in order. It was always here and there. However, I find it as interesting.
I love Jean Grey alot. Simply because I was super amazed by the telekinesis and telepathy abilities which she possess. Isn't it amazing you can control movement of things and minds of others all within your mind? It's silly..but desirable. Hehe. Later, when she displayed her powers of the Phoenix, I empathise with her frustation, fighting against the Phoenix. The cartoon also provided me with a new image of a Phoenix. As I used to think Phoenix is like what you see in the Chinese temples.. coloured in multi rainbow colors. Little did I imagine the mystical creature to be in burning flames.
I recalled as a child, my parents bought me alot of X-men figures. Out of which I just couldn't find Professor X. Anyway, there was this particular year on my birthday, my ah-ma bought me a Gambit figurine from the neighbourhood shop. I was extremely touched. Ever since then, I started to love Gambit. He's simply so cool with red glowing eyes, his "happy go lucky" type of style and his amazing power to charge objects with exploding potential energy.
Although I've grown older, my passion for X-men didn't ceased. I started to understand that mutants are real. And that X-men is relevant in real life as it can be explained through Physics. Especially Quantum physics, one of my favourite chapters in my entire years of study.
X-men provides for a timeless and ageless realm for imagination. It's every child's dream-come-true kinda craze with all those un-imaginable superpowers. It's a topic which guys conversed in nostalgia. There are lessons of undying love like that between Jean Grey and Scott Summers; humanity and responsibility. Despite it's sci-fictious, X-men still capture many hearts of all ages. It's a really fantastic marvel creation of a lifetime!
Sunday, August 27, 2006
De one with Empty Sunday
Cloudy
Early morning Sweet called me when Sweet got home after having watched late night movie, Ghost Game with friends. After which we had a short chat before I fell back alseep again.
The next thing which woke me up again I think 4 hours later was my nephew Fabian crying louding because he was looking for his "mama" who was off to work.
I woke up around 10am. Feeling kinda unwell and lazy, I messaged Chin Yu that we'll have to postpone our agreed meeting this afternoon. He was kind enough to reply me that we'll arrange for another time.
After which I did nothing but eat, eat and eat. Sigh. Early morning Jasmine bought Nasi Lemak. Of course I couldn't finish the whole box of rice. However, I ate some fried chicken bits, 2 slices of fish cake and long beans. After which I think I ate the remaining few pieces of "Famous Amos cookies".
I managed to watch a movie on VCD today. Final Destination 3. The storyline's much of the same as the two movies before. It's about this girl who had premonitions of how her high schoolmates died ever since they sat on the Devil's roller-coaster ride during a high school circus. In the end, I guess they didn't escape Death.
I slept alot. Tried studying and sorting out my lecture notes. However, the birds' ear-piercing chips just keeps distracting me out of focus.
Nothing much happened today. Except Sweet's call in the afternoon was the only thing to cheer me up abit. Yup.. Otherwise, it's just an empty Sunday.
Early morning Sweet called me when Sweet got home after having watched late night movie, Ghost Game with friends. After which we had a short chat before I fell back alseep again.
The next thing which woke me up again I think 4 hours later was my nephew Fabian crying louding because he was looking for his "mama" who was off to work.
I woke up around 10am. Feeling kinda unwell and lazy, I messaged Chin Yu that we'll have to postpone our agreed meeting this afternoon. He was kind enough to reply me that we'll arrange for another time.
After which I did nothing but eat, eat and eat. Sigh. Early morning Jasmine bought Nasi Lemak. Of course I couldn't finish the whole box of rice. However, I ate some fried chicken bits, 2 slices of fish cake and long beans. After which I think I ate the remaining few pieces of "Famous Amos cookies".
I managed to watch a movie on VCD today. Final Destination 3. The storyline's much of the same as the two movies before. It's about this girl who had premonitions of how her high schoolmates died ever since they sat on the Devil's roller-coaster ride during a high school circus. In the end, I guess they didn't escape Death.
I slept alot. Tried studying and sorting out my lecture notes. However, the birds' ear-piercing chips just keeps distracting me out of focus.
Nothing much happened today. Except Sweet's call in the afternoon was the only thing to cheer me up abit. Yup.. Otherwise, it's just an empty Sunday.
Saturday, August 26, 2006
De one with Clara
CHRONICLES Of CHUM
Oolala... Clara Kwek.. Recently, a new nickname Dale-lala.. These are the various nicknames I've used to addressed my close friend whom I've known for almost 5 years.
Our first meeting...
(omg, this expression's machum like what they used in love movies or stories)
Of course we meet each other during our first week at SRJC, sometime in March 2002. Then, I wasn't really close with her because she was with her newly found click of girl-friends and me buddy-ing with Loo Wan. Apparantly, I've only got to know her existance in 1S28 (my class) during our first maths C tutorial. Erm.. our maths teacher Mrs Kwek, a passionate teacher who cares alot for her students, arrowed us questions. Haha. Not being arrogent but I supposed Clara and I were the "better or hardworking ones" in maths from the very beginning. well, later part, I lagged behind.
The first time we knew each other as friends...
To much of what I recalled, the first time I talked to Clara was outside a tutorial room when I saw her standing outside alone and looking rather sad or troubled. What was identical between us was that both of us have an ego or strong self-pride. We don't get "heated-up" with strangers fast enough. When I asked about her, she kinda gave me a turn-down kinda reply. Well..
We didn't evelop our close friendship until towards the end of Jc years...
Our friendship develops
I remembered towards the end of Jc2, I finally shared my problems with no one else but Clara in our "jc gang". We conversed over the phone. For the very first time, I bear it all out..about what's troubling me during my drastic change in JC2. Most importantly, my brokenheart and sadness caused by my very first ex, A.
After A levels, we met up. I was really appreciative that Clara actually accompanied me in due the fact that I couldn't get my mind off my breakup. She taught me how to swim, better..even though I've learnt it when I was in secondary 1.
During my initial enlistment years, both of us develop the habit of going for supper. I'd travel all the way to Boon Keng where Clara's house is in. We'll eat roti prata and chat over ice-milo instead of coffee. Hehe. Supper ends at 1pm and I'll walk her back to her block. Occassionally when the time's not so late, she will insist on going home alone. Nice of her to walk me to the nearest bus-stop and wait until I've board the bus home.
Other than swimming and supper, we'll go out for SHOPPING! She accompanying me to shop instead of the other way round. Hehe. Her mum commented before, why I always like to go shopping all the time. Hehehe. We'll always end up laughing at each other's embarrassing moments. Bricker alot too for the fun of it.
Being a close friend...
Clara has always been independent. Well, she has a different family background from mine. So we'll tend to talk and provide a listening ear to each other. I usually rely on her whenever I experience relationship problems. She rely on me when she has family problem. In between, I supposed we share a common understanding and provide each other with the comfort, console we need. It's pretty special for me because she's a girl yet we are able to develop a close friendship. To a stage where both of us are beyond the point of being lovers. Just pure extreme good friends of opposite sex. She always comment that I'm a very sexist MCP. hehe.
I admire Clara's determination and out-frankness. Perhaps it's her out-spokeness that made her my true friend. She knows how when to hold back, if not, reprimand me to my senses. I did likewise for her too, sarcastically. Oops.
Despite her experiencing finacial problems, she spend on my birthday presents every year. Awww... I'm so touched because she works every semester break just to make ends meet.. pay for her own handphone bills, school fees..
We have alot to envy about each other.. she envies me better-off family and spending habits (though she nags at me about my extravagant spending). Me, on the other hand, envies her street-smart and all she has which I don't pocess.
Our friendship has grown and is developing even closer... I promise, we'll be good friends till old. During one of our la-teh (milo-drinking) session, we even discussed about how our current chats about life, stress from education and relationship, will transform into future chats about work, family, children and retirement plans. Come to think about it, it's really comical!
Oolala... Clara Kwek.. Recently, a new nickname Dale-lala.. These are the various nicknames I've used to addressed my close friend whom I've known for almost 5 years.
Our first meeting...
(omg, this expression's machum like what they used in love movies or stories)
Of course we meet each other during our first week at SRJC, sometime in March 2002. Then, I wasn't really close with her because she was with her newly found click of girl-friends and me buddy-ing with Loo Wan. Apparantly, I've only got to know her existance in 1S28 (my class) during our first maths C tutorial. Erm.. our maths teacher Mrs Kwek, a passionate teacher who cares alot for her students, arrowed us questions. Haha. Not being arrogent but I supposed Clara and I were the "better or hardworking ones" in maths from the very beginning. well, later part, I lagged behind.
The first time we knew each other as friends...
To much of what I recalled, the first time I talked to Clara was outside a tutorial room when I saw her standing outside alone and looking rather sad or troubled. What was identical between us was that both of us have an ego or strong self-pride. We don't get "heated-up" with strangers fast enough. When I asked about her, she kinda gave me a turn-down kinda reply. Well..
We didn't evelop our close friendship until towards the end of Jc years...
Our friendship develops
I remembered towards the end of Jc2, I finally shared my problems with no one else but Clara in our "jc gang". We conversed over the phone. For the very first time, I bear it all out..about what's troubling me during my drastic change in JC2. Most importantly, my brokenheart and sadness caused by my very first ex, A.
After A levels, we met up. I was really appreciative that Clara actually accompanied me in due the fact that I couldn't get my mind off my breakup. She taught me how to swim, better..even though I've learnt it when I was in secondary 1.
During my initial enlistment years, both of us develop the habit of going for supper. I'd travel all the way to Boon Keng where Clara's house is in. We'll eat roti prata and chat over ice-milo instead of coffee. Hehe. Supper ends at 1pm and I'll walk her back to her block. Occassionally when the time's not so late, she will insist on going home alone. Nice of her to walk me to the nearest bus-stop and wait until I've board the bus home.
Other than swimming and supper, we'll go out for SHOPPING! She accompanying me to shop instead of the other way round. Hehe. Her mum commented before, why I always like to go shopping all the time. Hehehe. We'll always end up laughing at each other's embarrassing moments. Bricker alot too for the fun of it.
Being a close friend...
Clara has always been independent. Well, she has a different family background from mine. So we'll tend to talk and provide a listening ear to each other. I usually rely on her whenever I experience relationship problems. She rely on me when she has family problem. In between, I supposed we share a common understanding and provide each other with the comfort, console we need. It's pretty special for me because she's a girl yet we are able to develop a close friendship. To a stage where both of us are beyond the point of being lovers. Just pure extreme good friends of opposite sex. She always comment that I'm a very sexist MCP. hehe.
I admire Clara's determination and out-frankness. Perhaps it's her out-spokeness that made her my true friend. She knows how when to hold back, if not, reprimand me to my senses. I did likewise for her too, sarcastically. Oops.
Despite her experiencing finacial problems, she spend on my birthday presents every year. Awww... I'm so touched because she works every semester break just to make ends meet.. pay for her own handphone bills, school fees..
We have alot to envy about each other.. she envies me better-off family and spending habits (though she nags at me about my extravagant spending). Me, on the other hand, envies her street-smart and all she has which I don't pocess.
Our friendship has grown and is developing even closer... I promise, we'll be good friends till old. During one of our la-teh (milo-drinking) session, we even discussed about how our current chats about life, stress from education and relationship, will transform into future chats about work, family, children and retirement plans. Come to think about it, it's really comical!
De one with Me being "mang zang"
Sun kissed, hot day
Haven't been blogging the past few days because I've been so busy. Been doing research for my MKTG 1199 assignment. Just had a formal long discussion yesterday. Well... it started very fine. Except mere digression now and then. Err.. the good discussion turned into a big commotion nearing the end. I guessed we were the only group making the most noise in the quiet corridor outside the LTs.
Met Sweet for I think a couple of consecutive days. I don't really know why but I've been overly-sensitive and mang zang (being fussy, agitated and annoyed easily in hokkien) nowadays. Every nitty gritty I've been over-reacting towards it. Of course, Sweet doesn't know how to react to my foul attitute and unstable temper. End up, we'll always land ourselves into sulky faces. Omg.
Sometimes, I'll take a deep breath and try to reconcile. However, Sweet just doesn't know how to respond. Our commotion didn't get resolved. Hehe. Sometimes, I will lose myself into my thoughts again. (Without, keeping quiet because Sweet will scold me) I thought, am I really good for Sweet.. or how long are we going to be together until Sweet just can't tolerate or worst, Sweet saying "I really think you're not my cup of tea anymore". BUT! I calm down and recall what Sweet have told me before. About advising me not to think too much and being pessimistic.
Seriously if anyone were to ask me whether I'll give up? I really won't. I can't. And I will never let go. This relationship with Sweet. As I've told Sweet, I really want this to be the last relationship in my entire life.
What should I do? well.. I wanna stop thinking so much. Just love Sweet and make life.. our lives happiest in the whole world. I do.
Oki.. enough of "everytime relationship". Let me talk about..UNIVERSITY!!
It's already over a month at SIM. Well, finally adapting to the studies. However, one problem exist is.. ask me whether I've done any understanding of whatever module I'm currently studying? I will cover my face in my hands and say I really have no clue. Omg. I met Clara yesterday night to pass her her advanced 21st Birthday present (which was a Winne the Pooh 900+puzzle. Took 3 continuous nights to rush it) and sms her recently about this. She suggest I should know my priorities and not regret... letting my miserable Jc results to repeat itself. Not forgetting, what Sweet said.. never to let what happened during my JC years to occur again too.
:: Thank you very much Clara and Sweet. And Chin Yu, who encouraged me not to give up when I told him I wasn't sure of my choice with accountancy.
Other than that, I've been mixing good with Zhen Ze and Guan Hui (a joker). Really feel abit bad, everytime after school I'll have to meet Sweet. As a result, unable to fulfil them jio-ing me for lunch. Oops!
As for my running? As much as I've been feeling pretty frustrated with it.. and giving up, saying I should move on for my relationship. I'm doing quite fine. Just needs some adjustments. Take running as a form of distress bah~
Well well.. I'm kinda excited.. Jay Chou's new album's releasing soon in September. Sigh. Gotta wait for it. Much of what I've heard, Jay's singing a song with Fei YuQing. Omg. Hmm... let's see.. looking much forwrd to it!
:: Ey! Everyone must go buy it when it's release on the shelves ah!
Before I end, I really think perhaps my short-fused temper might have been due to the warming weather. Think I need to consume more liang teh!!
Haven't been blogging the past few days because I've been so busy. Been doing research for my MKTG 1199 assignment. Just had a formal long discussion yesterday. Well... it started very fine. Except mere digression now and then. Err.. the good discussion turned into a big commotion nearing the end. I guessed we were the only group making the most noise in the quiet corridor outside the LTs.
Met Sweet for I think a couple of consecutive days. I don't really know why but I've been overly-sensitive and mang zang (being fussy, agitated and annoyed easily in hokkien) nowadays. Every nitty gritty I've been over-reacting towards it. Of course, Sweet doesn't know how to react to my foul attitute and unstable temper. End up, we'll always land ourselves into sulky faces. Omg.
Sometimes, I'll take a deep breath and try to reconcile. However, Sweet just doesn't know how to respond. Our commotion didn't get resolved. Hehe. Sometimes, I will lose myself into my thoughts again. (Without, keeping quiet because Sweet will scold me) I thought, am I really good for Sweet.. or how long are we going to be together until Sweet just can't tolerate or worst, Sweet saying "I really think you're not my cup of tea anymore". BUT! I calm down and recall what Sweet have told me before. About advising me not to think too much and being pessimistic.
Seriously if anyone were to ask me whether I'll give up? I really won't. I can't. And I will never let go. This relationship with Sweet. As I've told Sweet, I really want this to be the last relationship in my entire life.
What should I do? well.. I wanna stop thinking so much. Just love Sweet and make life.. our lives happiest in the whole world. I do.
Oki.. enough of "everytime relationship". Let me talk about..UNIVERSITY!!
It's already over a month at SIM. Well, finally adapting to the studies. However, one problem exist is.. ask me whether I've done any understanding of whatever module I'm currently studying? I will cover my face in my hands and say I really have no clue. Omg. I met Clara yesterday night to pass her her advanced 21st Birthday present (which was a Winne the Pooh 900+puzzle. Took 3 continuous nights to rush it) and sms her recently about this. She suggest I should know my priorities and not regret... letting my miserable Jc results to repeat itself. Not forgetting, what Sweet said.. never to let what happened during my JC years to occur again too.
:: Thank you very much Clara and Sweet. And Chin Yu, who encouraged me not to give up when I told him I wasn't sure of my choice with accountancy.
Other than that, I've been mixing good with Zhen Ze and Guan Hui (a joker). Really feel abit bad, everytime after school I'll have to meet Sweet. As a result, unable to fulfil them jio-ing me for lunch. Oops!
As for my running? As much as I've been feeling pretty frustrated with it.. and giving up, saying I should move on for my relationship. I'm doing quite fine. Just needs some adjustments. Take running as a form of distress bah~
Well well.. I'm kinda excited.. Jay Chou's new album's releasing soon in September. Sigh. Gotta wait for it. Much of what I've heard, Jay's singing a song with Fei YuQing. Omg. Hmm... let's see.. looking much forwrd to it!
:: Ey! Everyone must go buy it when it's release on the shelves ah!
Before I end, I really think perhaps my short-fused temper might have been due to the warming weather. Think I need to consume more liang teh!!
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
De one with You Being like this makes Me Downhearted [Emolings]
A plant deprived of water
Downhearted: [adj.] in low spirits
* blue, dejected, depressed, despondent, dispirited, gloomy, glum, miserable, sad,
unhappy.
Disclaimer: I'm voicing out only. After which I would forget about what's been troubling me...
Somehow or rather, I feel you've started to give up. Yes, you did confess and keep telling how much you have affects for me. However, i just feel something's wrong which bothers me because I care too much for this relationship.
1: It's like my preseence beside you doesn't matter anymore. Like what occured at MPH.
:: It's really different from the previous whenever I just disappear from you for a few seconds, you will get so worried until your heart nearly skipped. Even for normal friends, as a manner of social politeness, we will look for our companions and be around them. To me, it's an act of mutual respect. In between lovers, a form of affectionate concern and the message of "I wanna be with you always because you're so indispensible to me".
2: You said you're tired of all these "games" in a relationship and your "Do as you want" attitude which followed.
:: Firstly, from that, I keep feeling one message you're implying. You're getting tired of this relationship. So much so that you only recongise the comparision between me and your previous encounters with your exes. It's like all these are discrediting all that you've said that i matter so much to you. It's causing me to be so loss.
3: Your attitude have really changed alot to less loving. You even asked me to re-consider whether you're the right person for me.
:: This only tell me you are implying for a "letting go" situation. It really affects me so much I didn't manage to sleep but weep the whole night. You keep saying certain stages have to be changed while we move on. However, I feel it's like mathematics or simple language. You need to substain the fundermentals as you progess to higher levels.
4: You said you're like this. You have different ways of showing your affections.
:: I do appreciate you trying hard. Especially the ways you express your passions verbally and intiative ways. However, recently I'm lossing the trance of actions from you. It's like even I leave a gap between us, you won't close it up like how you always do. Sigh. You are beginning to make it obvious that I'm not special enough to make you change and compromise for me, your bf.
I do admit, I'm imperfect. One of which is my inability to express myself out and make alot of noise like an empty vessel. I have tried depicting and illustrating my genuine love for you by torlerating, be sensitive and in my bolding actions and buying things for you to make you happy. I just need you to be back the same old sweet, funny and loving Sweet.. it'd really habours assurance, above everything, to make feel secure and on-going for this love that both of us share.
Please don' bring everything up to me. Neither should you misinterpret whatever I typed here to discredit whatever you've done. For example, when I said "more secure", it doesn't mean previously I still do not feel secure. I just want to feel more comfortably secured.
Full-stop.
Downhearted: [adj.] in low spirits
* blue, dejected, depressed, despondent, dispirited, gloomy, glum, miserable, sad,
unhappy.
Disclaimer: I'm voicing out only. After which I would forget about what's been troubling me...
Somehow or rather, I feel you've started to give up. Yes, you did confess and keep telling how much you have affects for me. However, i just feel something's wrong which bothers me because I care too much for this relationship.
1: It's like my preseence beside you doesn't matter anymore. Like what occured at MPH.
:: It's really different from the previous whenever I just disappear from you for a few seconds, you will get so worried until your heart nearly skipped. Even for normal friends, as a manner of social politeness, we will look for our companions and be around them. To me, it's an act of mutual respect. In between lovers, a form of affectionate concern and the message of "I wanna be with you always because you're so indispensible to me".
2: You said you're tired of all these "games" in a relationship and your "Do as you want" attitude which followed.
:: Firstly, from that, I keep feeling one message you're implying. You're getting tired of this relationship. So much so that you only recongise the comparision between me and your previous encounters with your exes. It's like all these are discrediting all that you've said that i matter so much to you. It's causing me to be so loss.
3: Your attitude have really changed alot to less loving. You even asked me to re-consider whether you're the right person for me.
:: This only tell me you are implying for a "letting go" situation. It really affects me so much I didn't manage to sleep but weep the whole night. You keep saying certain stages have to be changed while we move on. However, I feel it's like mathematics or simple language. You need to substain the fundermentals as you progess to higher levels.
4: You said you're like this. You have different ways of showing your affections.
:: I do appreciate you trying hard. Especially the ways you express your passions verbally and intiative ways. However, recently I'm lossing the trance of actions from you. It's like even I leave a gap between us, you won't close it up like how you always do. Sigh. You are beginning to make it obvious that I'm not special enough to make you change and compromise for me, your bf.
I do admit, I'm imperfect. One of which is my inability to express myself out and make alot of noise like an empty vessel. I have tried depicting and illustrating my genuine love for you by torlerating, be sensitive and in my bolding actions and buying things for you to make you happy. I just need you to be back the same old sweet, funny and loving Sweet.. it'd really habours assurance, above everything, to make feel secure and on-going for this love that both of us share.
Please don' bring everything up to me. Neither should you misinterpret whatever I typed here to discredit whatever you've done. For example, when I said "more secure", it doesn't mean previously I still do not feel secure. I just want to feel more comfortably secured.
Full-stop.
De one with a Dull Tuesday
Moody Day
Today I really feel very moody, I feel as if i'm drenched in despire. Nothing uplifting. Nothing evident of happiness. Woke up early as 0715am. Planned to go for a light jog. Unfortunately, I was really down emotionally and low spirited. So much so I forego the jog and did a compensation set of 50 bench-press, 50 sit-ups and a few half-squats.
For the entire day, I didn't know what I was doing. Everything seems so slow, meaningless and senseless to a certain extent. It resulted in me dressing shabby today. Wore a white Ripcurl Tee-shirt, a greyish blue OP boardshorts, dark chocolate brown Quiksilver slippers and a black folder to school.
Marketing lecture almost made me slept today. Talking a whole chuck on "Product", substantiated with video clip about VolksWagen cars.
My heart sunk when Sweet wasn't really free to meet me today. Well.. perhaps I'm still affected by what occurred yesterday night.
Sigh. I spent money at Thompson Plaza. Bought four folders for my modules' notes: Green for ACCT2060, Grey for MKTG1199, Orange for ECON1016, Blue for ISYS2059. Sigh. After purchase then I start to realise it's kinda childish for such a differentiation of colours for my folders when I'm a unistudent. But sigh..whatever... My environment puts me off today..really sick of those ugly people (with their inconsiderate actions and behaviour) around me.
Went home, planned to have bread (Ham and cheese bun and some CHOCOLATE twists which I bought from Four seasons bakery) for lunch over movie: The wild. However, halfway I lost my interest and went to label my folders. Next thing I knew, I dozed off.
I woke up after 2hrs of slumber before sorting out the different notes into the various folders. Went for a short 3.3 km run at Bishan Park. Really sian...very sian.. sian..sian..
Today I really feel very moody, I feel as if i'm drenched in despire. Nothing uplifting. Nothing evident of happiness. Woke up early as 0715am. Planned to go for a light jog. Unfortunately, I was really down emotionally and low spirited. So much so I forego the jog and did a compensation set of 50 bench-press, 50 sit-ups and a few half-squats.
For the entire day, I didn't know what I was doing. Everything seems so slow, meaningless and senseless to a certain extent. It resulted in me dressing shabby today. Wore a white Ripcurl Tee-shirt, a greyish blue OP boardshorts, dark chocolate brown Quiksilver slippers and a black folder to school.
Marketing lecture almost made me slept today. Talking a whole chuck on "Product", substantiated with video clip about VolksWagen cars.
My heart sunk when Sweet wasn't really free to meet me today. Well.. perhaps I'm still affected by what occurred yesterday night.
Sigh. I spent money at Thompson Plaza. Bought four folders for my modules' notes: Green for ACCT2060, Grey for MKTG1199, Orange for ECON1016, Blue for ISYS2059. Sigh. After purchase then I start to realise it's kinda childish for such a differentiation of colours for my folders when I'm a unistudent. But sigh..whatever... My environment puts me off today..really sick of those ugly people (with their inconsiderate actions and behaviour) around me.
Went home, planned to have bread (Ham and cheese bun and some CHOCOLATE twists which I bought from Four seasons bakery) for lunch over movie: The wild. However, halfway I lost my interest and went to label my folders. Next thing I knew, I dozed off.
I woke up after 2hrs of slumber before sorting out the different notes into the various folders. Went for a short 3.3 km run at Bishan Park. Really sian...very sian.. sian..sian..
Monday, August 21, 2006
De one with My 21st Birthday!
Sunny hot
Today's 21 August 2005. It marks an extremely special day as I've turned 21, the legal age. And to most of us, a very important day in our entire life.
Although the actual day occurs 12 past midnight. Yesterday night, greetings have already came in via MSN and sms (from Clara, who messaged me twice. Once in the night and once in the morning).
Yesterday evening, Sweet came down to AMK. After which we went to Toa Payoh to dine at SAKURA buffet. Paid $52 bucks for it lah! Of course we ate alot: Sushi, Shark fin's soup (not really "up-to-expectation"), Mushroom soup ("yummy"!), Seafood paper-steamboat (which Sweet thought wasn't heated enough), vegetable salad, sashimu, Tepanyaki Beef (which Sweet find it too hard) and Tepanyaki Fish (which I find it too soft), Unagi (taste abit raw) and chicken satay, fried nuggets, fried "pregnant fish", Tempura, Oyster, Mussels, Chicken Sausage, chicken Siew Mai (delicious!), Thai Chili tofu, steam fish wrap, steam cod fish. And end with dessert: Lime Cheese cake, NY cheese cake, Chocolate mousse, ice-cream..and fruits.
The food wasn't really appealing to me. But it's an experience since Sweet introduced me there. After that, Sweet and I walked around, patronising stores to entertain ourselves. Sweet got a polo Tee from Baleno, a toothbrush (for my house) and learnt about negative ions- producing "salt crystals" and all kinds of medications we've never seen before at a chinese medical store.
We went home shortly and have a wonderful night together.
When the time stuck 12 mid-night, Sweet was so lovely to be the very first person to wish me Happy 21st Birthday on the official day! (of course, I'll never forget those who wished me the night before). It was really very sweet of Sweet. The next best thing which occur on this wonderful occassion was to open my eyes in the morning and the first person I saw was Sweet with a morning kiss. My heart was overjoyed with blessed happiness. It soared when the both of us had a shower together! *face burning*
We went to have a light breakfast at the coffeeshop opposite my house. Then the both of us lover birds set off for Changi Airport (Sweet kept joking exaggeratingly along our way there, about us having to catch a flight to Australia) to eat lunch at Swensons. Sweet had Chicken thighs while I had my favourite Fish and Chips as our main course. It was accompanied by a full set meal which included a mousse cake for dessert and complimentary warm lipton tea. Of course, the highlight of the meal was the delightful Firehouse Birthday ice-cream!! I even dared Sweet to sing me a birthday song aloud. End up, Sweet only sang it softly...well.. it was smittening nonetheless! Love you, Sweet! And thanks for giving me your opinion at the perfume and cosmetic store where I got my 2nd bottle of CK summer One.
Bloated, we decided to stroll around the Budget Terminal. It was nothing but very plain terminal like any train station. You had to take a free bus shutter to and frown from Terminal 1.
After which we got bored of Airport, we took a long and drowsing bus 63 trip to Orchard. Stopped at the busstop in front of Park Mall and took a walk down to Cathay to catch "An American Huanting" at 1630hrs. Having 40 mins to spare, we went to Plaza Singapura to waste our time there.
American Huanting was a hard-to-understand movie. However, the effects were horrifying and heart-gasping. It was about this girl, Betsy, who was raped by her father, John, whom the family and he himself thought they were huanted by a ghost due to a curse put by a lady. Apparantly, the ghost was actually Betsy herself. What was the basic cause for the spirit Betsy to appear wasn't clear for us to depict. However Sweet opinioned that the spirit huanted Betsy so as to prevent any chance for the cruel father to continue his despicable act on the daughter. In the end, everything turned normal after John died under the hands of his wife, who got enlightened of the truth. The story started and ended with the modern surviving Betsy, whose daughter was also huanted by the same ghost.
We had our third indulgence at Mac Pherson's hawker again. Had Sweet's favourite Nong Hiam, fried Hokkien prawn mee and pieces of fried carrot cake. Fattening and acne-causing but well...both of us just love eating with each other around.
Our day ended, spare the negligible momentary friction, with a loving birthday French kiss from Sweet.
:: To all my friends, thank you very much for taking the effort to remember my birthday and sent me a sincere sms. I'm really grateful to you all. Pardon me if I didn't take the same effort to message you guys earlier on your special days.
:: To Jeffers, "lao da" for your meaningful present. I really love it alot!
:: To Clara, my closest friend. Thank you for your unexpectedly beautiful Chip and Dale puzzle. You've always spent money on my birthday present even though you have financial limits. For that, I'm really grateful. Thanks for the new nickname you bestowed me! Thanks for being around me and all your support, attention and most of all, our friendship!
:: To Chin Yu, thank you for calling me just to wish me a very happy birthday! Thanks for keeping in touch with me always. I'll remember you for life.
:: To Sweet, you're one of the special someone in this whole wide world whom i'm thankful for your time and efforts to make me enjoy my day so romantically and joyous. I love you. Muacks.
:: To my family, I really appreciate inexpressionably gratefully to all you folks have done for me. I love you all with all my heart.
:: To my late-mother. Mummy, whenever you are, you're always alive in my heart. I think of you from time to time. You, I must thank for without you, there will not be Jason today. Thank you so much Mummy. I guess you'll be so proud of me, having grown up. I really miss you. The family too.
Today's 21 August 2005. It marks an extremely special day as I've turned 21, the legal age. And to most of us, a very important day in our entire life.
Although the actual day occurs 12 past midnight. Yesterday night, greetings have already came in via MSN and sms (from Clara, who messaged me twice. Once in the night and once in the morning).
Yesterday evening, Sweet came down to AMK. After which we went to Toa Payoh to dine at SAKURA buffet. Paid $52 bucks for it lah! Of course we ate alot: Sushi, Shark fin's soup (not really "up-to-expectation"), Mushroom soup ("yummy"!), Seafood paper-steamboat (which Sweet thought wasn't heated enough), vegetable salad, sashimu, Tepanyaki Beef (which Sweet find it too hard) and Tepanyaki Fish (which I find it too soft), Unagi (taste abit raw) and chicken satay, fried nuggets, fried "pregnant fish", Tempura, Oyster, Mussels, Chicken Sausage, chicken Siew Mai (delicious!), Thai Chili tofu, steam fish wrap, steam cod fish. And end with dessert: Lime Cheese cake, NY cheese cake, Chocolate mousse, ice-cream..and fruits.
The food wasn't really appealing to me. But it's an experience since Sweet introduced me there. After that, Sweet and I walked around, patronising stores to entertain ourselves. Sweet got a polo Tee from Baleno, a toothbrush (for my house) and learnt about negative ions- producing "salt crystals" and all kinds of medications we've never seen before at a chinese medical store.
We went home shortly and have a wonderful night together.
When the time stuck 12 mid-night, Sweet was so lovely to be the very first person to wish me Happy 21st Birthday on the official day! (of course, I'll never forget those who wished me the night before). It was really very sweet of Sweet. The next best thing which occur on this wonderful occassion was to open my eyes in the morning and the first person I saw was Sweet with a morning kiss. My heart was overjoyed with blessed happiness. It soared when the both of us had a shower together! *face burning*
We went to have a light breakfast at the coffeeshop opposite my house. Then the both of us lover birds set off for Changi Airport (Sweet kept joking exaggeratingly along our way there, about us having to catch a flight to Australia) to eat lunch at Swensons. Sweet had Chicken thighs while I had my favourite Fish and Chips as our main course. It was accompanied by a full set meal which included a mousse cake for dessert and complimentary warm lipton tea. Of course, the highlight of the meal was the delightful Firehouse Birthday ice-cream!! I even dared Sweet to sing me a birthday song aloud. End up, Sweet only sang it softly...well.. it was smittening nonetheless! Love you, Sweet! And thanks for giving me your opinion at the perfume and cosmetic store where I got my 2nd bottle of CK summer One.
Bloated, we decided to stroll around the Budget Terminal. It was nothing but very plain terminal like any train station. You had to take a free bus shutter to and frown from Terminal 1.
After which we got bored of Airport, we took a long and drowsing bus 63 trip to Orchard. Stopped at the busstop in front of Park Mall and took a walk down to Cathay to catch "An American Huanting" at 1630hrs. Having 40 mins to spare, we went to Plaza Singapura to waste our time there.
American Huanting was a hard-to-understand movie. However, the effects were horrifying and heart-gasping. It was about this girl, Betsy, who was raped by her father, John, whom the family and he himself thought they were huanted by a ghost due to a curse put by a lady. Apparantly, the ghost was actually Betsy herself. What was the basic cause for the spirit Betsy to appear wasn't clear for us to depict. However Sweet opinioned that the spirit huanted Betsy so as to prevent any chance for the cruel father to continue his despicable act on the daughter. In the end, everything turned normal after John died under the hands of his wife, who got enlightened of the truth. The story started and ended with the modern surviving Betsy, whose daughter was also huanted by the same ghost.
We had our third indulgence at Mac Pherson's hawker again. Had Sweet's favourite Nong Hiam, fried Hokkien prawn mee and pieces of fried carrot cake. Fattening and acne-causing but well...both of us just love eating with each other around.
Our day ended, spare the negligible momentary friction, with a loving birthday French kiss from Sweet.
:: To all my friends, thank you very much for taking the effort to remember my birthday and sent me a sincere sms. I'm really grateful to you all. Pardon me if I didn't take the same effort to message you guys earlier on your special days.
:: To Jeffers, "lao da" for your meaningful present. I really love it alot!
:: To Clara, my closest friend. Thank you for your unexpectedly beautiful Chip and Dale puzzle. You've always spent money on my birthday present even though you have financial limits. For that, I'm really grateful. Thanks for the new nickname you bestowed me! Thanks for being around me and all your support, attention and most of all, our friendship!
:: To Chin Yu, thank you for calling me just to wish me a very happy birthday! Thanks for keeping in touch with me always. I'll remember you for life.
:: To Sweet, you're one of the special someone in this whole wide world whom i'm thankful for your time and efforts to make me enjoy my day so romantically and joyous. I love you. Muacks.
:: To my family, I really appreciate inexpressionably gratefully to all you folks have done for me. I love you all with all my heart.
:: To my late-mother. Mummy, whenever you are, you're always alive in my heart. I think of you from time to time. You, I must thank for without you, there will not be Jason today. Thank you so much Mummy. I guess you'll be so proud of me, having grown up. I really miss you. The family too.
Sunday, August 20, 2006
De one with Unforgettable Certainties
Windy; falling leaves
A very long time ago, I listened to Love stories by 93.3FM. There was a phrase which imprinted deeply in my mind...
" There's no event that's unforgettable...
only unforgettable feelings..."
The night before, I was fretting, struggling with my attempt at a Problem 5.7 of my accounting textbook. I got my first taste of the bitterness of Accountancy when the left side (Assets) and right side (Liabilities + Equity) of my worksheet just couldn't balance. Wasted 4 sheets of fullscape papers.. then I thought how wonderful if my late-mummy was still alive. She would have known how to teach me since she was an accountant. Of course, this selfishness wasn't what matters more... since I knew I'll have my way to get through this.
Rather, my rememberance of her unpressence triggered a stir of intense feeling... a pure yet harsh longing for her to be around.. I miss her.. the bitter unforgettable certainty that she's not longer around. It hurts inside-out. Very brutally heart-shattering. Causes every pores of my skin to become overly freezing with fear. Fear of facing up to the certainty that a loved one is gone forever. Fear of facing up to the fact that these held back tears are gonna fall again...
Yesterday, when I returned back from my outing with fellow specs. Ah-ma told me that she woke up around mid-night last night and recognised the sight of the side-view of a lady with short-curled hair. My beloved late-mummy was sitting in the living room's coffee table, facing the television.
Of course, I was shakened by ah-ma's account. Is it because it was a pity I didn't manage to see wat ah-ma saw? Or because I miss her so dearly? Of course, I didn't cry on the instant. I hardly cry in front of others. However, my heart was flooded with soaring tears.
:: Mummy, I hope you're coping well and peaceful in wherever you are now in your better after-life.
*sobs* =' )
A very long time ago, I listened to Love stories by 93.3FM. There was a phrase which imprinted deeply in my mind...
" There's no event that's unforgettable...
only unforgettable feelings..."
The night before, I was fretting, struggling with my attempt at a Problem 5.7 of my accounting textbook. I got my first taste of the bitterness of Accountancy when the left side (Assets) and right side (Liabilities + Equity) of my worksheet just couldn't balance. Wasted 4 sheets of fullscape papers.. then I thought how wonderful if my late-mummy was still alive. She would have known how to teach me since she was an accountant. Of course, this selfishness wasn't what matters more... since I knew I'll have my way to get through this.
Rather, my rememberance of her unpressence triggered a stir of intense feeling... a pure yet harsh longing for her to be around.. I miss her.. the bitter unforgettable certainty that she's not longer around. It hurts inside-out. Very brutally heart-shattering. Causes every pores of my skin to become overly freezing with fear. Fear of facing up to the certainty that a loved one is gone forever. Fear of facing up to the fact that these held back tears are gonna fall again...
Yesterday, when I returned back from my outing with fellow specs. Ah-ma told me that she woke up around mid-night last night and recognised the sight of the side-view of a lady with short-curled hair. My beloved late-mummy was sitting in the living room's coffee table, facing the television.
Of course, I was shakened by ah-ma's account. Is it because it was a pity I didn't manage to see wat ah-ma saw? Or because I miss her so dearly? Of course, I didn't cry on the instant. I hardly cry in front of others. However, my heart was flooded with soaring tears.
:: Mummy, I hope you're coping well and peaceful in wherever you are now in your better after-life.
*sobs* =' )
De one with Mohan
CHRONICLES Of CHUM
Weekend during my army stint, always reminded me of Mohan. Mohan Gopalan, is one of my closest friend (other than Chin Yu) during my time at 23SA. Before that, we've already knew each other from ASC since both of us were from the same detachment.
I believe both of us were started our friendship solely because we were both the same type of people, who perfers to share within a small companionship rather than the opposite. I remembered I saw him before in SISPEC, Foxtrot company when we were both literally suffering under the instructors of our detestable OC, WO Oh Cheng Kah, as both of us were struggling with our SOC. (damn xiong!)
Hehe.. miraculously, both of us graduated from SISPEC (perserverance and garang-iness ok.. :D) and made it into the same vocation. Recalled our frist time going out was we booked out and met up at Thompson Plaza to have late-night coffee at Starbucks. (He was the person who introduced me to Starbucks). Our friendship developed from then ever since. Met up and started going out every now and then. Example, going out during our nights out. Even after being posted to 23sA, we went out for shopping, eat, movies more often.
Mohan and I share the same interest. During shopping, we would look at books, music. Mohan provided me the companionship to booast my confident to try things I've never done before like shopping. It's always better to walk into a shop to look around when a friend is with you, offering you suggestions and feedback whenever you can't decide.
We're very simple person. Whenever anyone of us asked if each other is free, immediately, we just agreed the time and venue on the spot, almost instantaneously! As time passes, we grew to become more understanding, in terms of our fashion taste, each other's characters as if we were old friends even though our friendship was merely a few months old.
It was because of him that I volunteered to join to represent the battalion for cross country run. End up, he didn't run, omg. Though, I always pursuade him to try his best, especially Army Half-Marathon.
Both of us love to argue. Since both of us are from different batteries, we like to voice our individual opinions, sharing each other's experience and frustration in army. It was in the milst of this that he taught me to stop being a push-over and being able to voice my views instead of following people by the nose. Why? Simply because Mohan is a lawyer-to-be. He's a former RI and RJC student. He's really one of the super few RI people who I feel comfortable being with. Though he comes from a wealthy family where both his parents are lawyers and his elder brother too, he's humble and independent.
One funny thing is we are very open in our chat topics. I can make racist jokes and he doesn't feel offended. When I'm down, he will always support me (like Chin Yu does). He's knowledgable.. perfect person to go to when ever I face language or knowledge difficulties or inadequacy.
We're very good friends indeed.
Weekend during my army stint, always reminded me of Mohan. Mohan Gopalan, is one of my closest friend (other than Chin Yu) during my time at 23SA. Before that, we've already knew each other from ASC since both of us were from the same detachment.
I believe both of us were started our friendship solely because we were both the same type of people, who perfers to share within a small companionship rather than the opposite. I remembered I saw him before in SISPEC, Foxtrot company when we were both literally suffering under the instructors of our detestable OC, WO Oh Cheng Kah, as both of us were struggling with our SOC. (damn xiong!)
Hehe.. miraculously, both of us graduated from SISPEC (perserverance and garang-iness ok.. :D) and made it into the same vocation. Recalled our frist time going out was we booked out and met up at Thompson Plaza to have late-night coffee at Starbucks. (He was the person who introduced me to Starbucks). Our friendship developed from then ever since. Met up and started going out every now and then. Example, going out during our nights out. Even after being posted to 23sA, we went out for shopping, eat, movies more often.
Mohan and I share the same interest. During shopping, we would look at books, music. Mohan provided me the companionship to booast my confident to try things I've never done before like shopping. It's always better to walk into a shop to look around when a friend is with you, offering you suggestions and feedback whenever you can't decide.
We're very simple person. Whenever anyone of us asked if each other is free, immediately, we just agreed the time and venue on the spot, almost instantaneously! As time passes, we grew to become more understanding, in terms of our fashion taste, each other's characters as if we were old friends even though our friendship was merely a few months old.
It was because of him that I volunteered to join to represent the battalion for cross country run. End up, he didn't run, omg. Though, I always pursuade him to try his best, especially Army Half-Marathon.
Both of us love to argue. Since both of us are from different batteries, we like to voice our individual opinions, sharing each other's experience and frustration in army. It was in the milst of this that he taught me to stop being a push-over and being able to voice my views instead of following people by the nose. Why? Simply because Mohan is a lawyer-to-be. He's a former RI and RJC student. He's really one of the super few RI people who I feel comfortable being with. Though he comes from a wealthy family where both his parents are lawyers and his elder brother too, he's humble and independent.
One funny thing is we are very open in our chat topics. I can make racist jokes and he doesn't feel offended. When I'm down, he will always support me (like Chin Yu does). He's knowledgable.. perfect person to go to when ever I face language or knowledge difficulties or inadequacy.
We're very good friends indeed.
Saturday, August 19, 2006
De one with Halfway thru Weekend
Little drizzle, hot Sun
Phew..another week just passed by again. Before I know it, i've already became a 3 month old uni-student~
Today I met my fellow specs, Zhen Ze, Eric, Bojun, Jonathan and Sek Yeong. Although I was late, we had an enjoyable session at K-box in Parazzi Centre (somewhere near Cathay cinema). Omg. I was so bad in my vocals today. Couldn't get my tunes right. What an embarassing.
Bojun had Japanese-language class, so he left early before we ended our entertainment at 2+pm and headed towards Plaza Singapura to walk around. We called Jeffers to join us. While waiting, Eric left for home. The remaining walked towards Far East to meet Jeffers. Heeding suggestion from Jonathan, we had the "nice" chicken rice on level 4. Jeffers came to join us in time. We had a chatty conversation over dinner.
After which Jonathan and Sek Yeong left. Thus, Jeffers and me accompanied Zhen Ze who wanted to shop for scandals. In the end, he got a pair from Wisma's Beattle Bug. Nice!
Jeffers passed me a birthday present he got for me. It was a frame with a photo of our bunkmates, taken in NZ ex.Thunderwarrior in the beginning of the year! (Thank you alot Jeffers!) And I've got a new long-awaited Braun Buffel hard leather wallet!! Can you believe it, Sweet's favourite brand was Braun Buffel (YEAH!!). But she now pocess my favourite brand, Pierre Cardin. What a lovely part of each other in our belongings!
Talking about Sweet whom I miss terribly. It feels like my heart nearly got breathless. We haven't met each other for 2 days liao. Yesterday was because I had to meet Mohan and later, supposedly supper with Clara. Unexpectedly, Clara had to rest due to some post blood-donation condition. So we end up cancelling the supper. Today, Sweet had to do some job to teach. In between, messaged Clara today. Glad to hear that she has recovered.
Friday...
We had our very first lecture with our local accounting lecturer. He started the lesson with an impact opening. Emphasising that he is not here to teach but educate us. A little background info about Lecture Daniel. He's a civil engineer convert Accountant. Besides his CPA, he has MBA too. The funny reason he gave why he didn't achieve a doctorine degree, was that his brain isn't burnt or bonkers. Haha. He describes himself as a very radical accountant (hmm..a man of character). He doesn't like conducting lectures with useless and meaningless Powerpoint slides. Instead, he likes educating on whiteboard. He's lectures are fun (to rebuke the commonly thought that Accountancy's boring) and informally conducted. He loves us to respond "yes" to him. It makes him feels very appreciated. Overall, he's really a very down-to-earth and easily likeable educator. I feel so blessed that I have adaptable and educating-friendly lecturers! What a new pleasant learning experience which I think I'll not get at other local universities!
Nope, I'm not saying this because I'm tasting sour-grapes. I really mean it. I've experienced t myself.
Phew..another week just passed by again. Before I know it, i've already became a 3 month old uni-student~
Today I met my fellow specs, Zhen Ze, Eric, Bojun, Jonathan and Sek Yeong. Although I was late, we had an enjoyable session at K-box in Parazzi Centre (somewhere near Cathay cinema). Omg. I was so bad in my vocals today. Couldn't get my tunes right. What an embarassing.
Bojun had Japanese-language class, so he left early before we ended our entertainment at 2+pm and headed towards Plaza Singapura to walk around. We called Jeffers to join us. While waiting, Eric left for home. The remaining walked towards Far East to meet Jeffers. Heeding suggestion from Jonathan, we had the "nice" chicken rice on level 4. Jeffers came to join us in time. We had a chatty conversation over dinner.
After which Jonathan and Sek Yeong left. Thus, Jeffers and me accompanied Zhen Ze who wanted to shop for scandals. In the end, he got a pair from Wisma's Beattle Bug. Nice!
Jeffers passed me a birthday present he got for me. It was a frame with a photo of our bunkmates, taken in NZ ex.Thunderwarrior in the beginning of the year! (Thank you alot Jeffers!) And I've got a new long-awaited Braun Buffel hard leather wallet!! Can you believe it, Sweet's favourite brand was Braun Buffel (YEAH!!). But she now pocess my favourite brand, Pierre Cardin. What a lovely part of each other in our belongings!
Talking about Sweet whom I miss terribly. It feels like my heart nearly got breathless. We haven't met each other for 2 days liao. Yesterday was because I had to meet Mohan and later, supposedly supper with Clara. Unexpectedly, Clara had to rest due to some post blood-donation condition. So we end up cancelling the supper. Today, Sweet had to do some job to teach. In between, messaged Clara today. Glad to hear that she has recovered.
Friday...
We had our very first lecture with our local accounting lecturer. He started the lesson with an impact opening. Emphasising that he is not here to teach but educate us. A little background info about Lecture Daniel. He's a civil engineer convert Accountant. Besides his CPA, he has MBA too. The funny reason he gave why he didn't achieve a doctorine degree, was that his brain isn't burnt or bonkers. Haha. He describes himself as a very radical accountant (hmm..a man of character). He doesn't like conducting lectures with useless and meaningless Powerpoint slides. Instead, he likes educating on whiteboard. He's lectures are fun (to rebuke the commonly thought that Accountancy's boring) and informally conducted. He loves us to respond "yes" to him. It makes him feels very appreciated. Overall, he's really a very down-to-earth and easily likeable educator. I feel so blessed that I have adaptable and educating-friendly lecturers! What a new pleasant learning experience which I think I'll not get at other local universities!
Nope, I'm not saying this because I'm tasting sour-grapes. I really mean it. I've experienced t myself.
De one with Art
ASPIRATION
From a very young age, my mummy have sent me to the nearby community centre for art class since art (basis drawing and coloring) appealled more to me to music (piano). Why? By right piano should be interesting and "investable". Unfortunately, i'm a very introvert and shy boy. I always didn't dare to be sent for piano lessons, thinking that lessons were always conducted in large classes.
I remembered during art class, there was this senior who always drew different things from us. He draws manga drawing and the teacher was lenient and encouraging towards him. Sigh. Well, used to be inquistive why he was in the same class as us. To a small extent, I was a little envious and jealous over him.
Anyway, I was was doing fine with my art lessons until one which let me had a taste of disappointment. It was a drawing and painting of frogs! You see my drawing was good. However, my undried paint smeared and everything turned out dripping down like a "blood flowing-down effect" when I held it up before the paint dried up. It was disastrous! The teacher gave me a very low grade for that. Omg! Ever since then, I started to hate using paint.
I recalled in my childhood days, my older cousin, Jasmine used to cry when she fret over her art homework. I remember there was this Chinese New Year project where she had to draw a picture of a Rooster since it was that Zodiac animal for the year. She cried pitifully because she just couldn't get the drawing right. My relatives asked me to help. Until then, she stopped crying. Haha.
My drawing craze had evolved alot over the years. I remember I love seeing things and drawing them ("mimicking-drawing") I used to draw my favourite childhood characters from Street Fighters. After which when I grew older, I was crazy over X-men. I recalled drawing every character, cut out their outline and play them like 2-D figurines. Hehe..silly right?
One amazing thing about then was I had the ability to memorise images in my mind. After which I would draw them out on paper. For example, I was watching an X-men episode where Phoenix was introduced. After the show, I drew a new character, the Phoenix, to be added to my new character collection.
Teachers used to love me for my art works. So much so that they always pin my art works up around in school. During primary school years, I was pushed for art competition (where I draw Beauty and the Beast with memory and lost because the other elder competitors were too strong)*embarrased* and inter-school mirror competition. In addition, my primary 5 form-teacher even asked me to design a logo for our out-camp. My most favourite thing to draw was MRT and orchids!
Closer at home, once, I draw a picture of the Eight Beauties of the World. It was divided into eight segments. In each, I draw character. My mummy love it so much, she pin it onto her table in office. I supposed she wanted to appreciate her son's art and show off to her colleagues bah!
Secondary school was much more happening. It was a major transformation as I had to start colouring with pastels and wet-paint, instead of colour-pencils which I was more comfortable with. Also, started learn and develop interest in drawing still-live and portraits. I recalled my classmate always exclaimed about how relaxed I was during our art examination. I used to do "Jay Chou's pose in Initial D", resting my head on one arm and drawing with the other. Secondary 2, there was this China guy who came to join the competition between me and another guy, Eugene Fu, who was very good in art too. End up, in a particular exam, the China guy, Zheng Peng, got first in class. Me second and Eugene, third. Sigh~
I realised too, that eggs and apples were the hardest to draw in still-live drawings.
Secondary 3 was fun. My home economics assignment to design a T-shirt was being show-cased in the Economics Room. My technical project, a toy train handcrafted out of wood, was displayed too! My literature teacher, Miss Tan was appreciative towards my talent for art. I recalled there was this project on Romeo and Juliet, with referrence to our text, I managed to draw Friar Lawrence with "PAINT" on computer with my right hand on the mouse. Since I was left handed, everyone were amazed! A1 for Art all the way! Those were the glory years for me.
I never stopped drawing art even after I got streamed to Science class during Secondary 3 and 4. Now and then I'll still draw. Started designing art ever since. I discovered the ability to resource around with what I see, improvise and integrating everything into designing. I was crazy over designing my name, Jason, so much during then! oops.
Ever since, I've grown more interested in other drawing technics like integrating calligraphic skills into multi-coloured design, stain glass drawings, mosaic and recently, impressionist drawing and experimenting colour-scheme of different cultures and nationalities.
Pictures really tells a million words. It is also a way for me to express myself.
It was until recently, I gave up Art due to -A-. It was a willing yet painful stupid decision. Well... hopefully I'll have the courage to pick up that pencil to draw again..
From a very young age, my mummy have sent me to the nearby community centre for art class since art (basis drawing and coloring) appealled more to me to music (piano). Why? By right piano should be interesting and "investable". Unfortunately, i'm a very introvert and shy boy. I always didn't dare to be sent for piano lessons, thinking that lessons were always conducted in large classes.
I remembered during art class, there was this senior who always drew different things from us. He draws manga drawing and the teacher was lenient and encouraging towards him. Sigh. Well, used to be inquistive why he was in the same class as us. To a small extent, I was a little envious and jealous over him.
Anyway, I was was doing fine with my art lessons until one which let me had a taste of disappointment. It was a drawing and painting of frogs! You see my drawing was good. However, my undried paint smeared and everything turned out dripping down like a "blood flowing-down effect" when I held it up before the paint dried up. It was disastrous! The teacher gave me a very low grade for that. Omg! Ever since then, I started to hate using paint.
I recalled in my childhood days, my older cousin, Jasmine used to cry when she fret over her art homework. I remember there was this Chinese New Year project where she had to draw a picture of a Rooster since it was that Zodiac animal for the year. She cried pitifully because she just couldn't get the drawing right. My relatives asked me to help. Until then, she stopped crying. Haha.
My drawing craze had evolved alot over the years. I remember I love seeing things and drawing them ("mimicking-drawing") I used to draw my favourite childhood characters from Street Fighters. After which when I grew older, I was crazy over X-men. I recalled drawing every character, cut out their outline and play them like 2-D figurines. Hehe..silly right?
One amazing thing about then was I had the ability to memorise images in my mind. After which I would draw them out on paper. For example, I was watching an X-men episode where Phoenix was introduced. After the show, I drew a new character, the Phoenix, to be added to my new character collection.
Teachers used to love me for my art works. So much so that they always pin my art works up around in school. During primary school years, I was pushed for art competition (where I draw Beauty and the Beast with memory and lost because the other elder competitors were too strong)*embarrased* and inter-school mirror competition. In addition, my primary 5 form-teacher even asked me to design a logo for our out-camp. My most favourite thing to draw was MRT and orchids!
Closer at home, once, I draw a picture of the Eight Beauties of the World. It was divided into eight segments. In each, I draw character. My mummy love it so much, she pin it onto her table in office. I supposed she wanted to appreciate her son's art and show off to her colleagues bah!
Secondary school was much more happening. It was a major transformation as I had to start colouring with pastels and wet-paint, instead of colour-pencils which I was more comfortable with. Also, started learn and develop interest in drawing still-live and portraits. I recalled my classmate always exclaimed about how relaxed I was during our art examination. I used to do "Jay Chou's pose in Initial D", resting my head on one arm and drawing with the other. Secondary 2, there was this China guy who came to join the competition between me and another guy, Eugene Fu, who was very good in art too. End up, in a particular exam, the China guy, Zheng Peng, got first in class. Me second and Eugene, third. Sigh~
I realised too, that eggs and apples were the hardest to draw in still-live drawings.
Secondary 3 was fun. My home economics assignment to design a T-shirt was being show-cased in the Economics Room. My technical project, a toy train handcrafted out of wood, was displayed too! My literature teacher, Miss Tan was appreciative towards my talent for art. I recalled there was this project on Romeo and Juliet, with referrence to our text, I managed to draw Friar Lawrence with "PAINT" on computer with my right hand on the mouse. Since I was left handed, everyone were amazed! A1 for Art all the way! Those were the glory years for me.
I never stopped drawing art even after I got streamed to Science class during Secondary 3 and 4. Now and then I'll still draw. Started designing art ever since. I discovered the ability to resource around with what I see, improvise and integrating everything into designing. I was crazy over designing my name, Jason, so much during then! oops.
Ever since, I've grown more interested in other drawing technics like integrating calligraphic skills into multi-coloured design, stain glass drawings, mosaic and recently, impressionist drawing and experimenting colour-scheme of different cultures and nationalities.
Pictures really tells a million words. It is also a way for me to express myself.
It was until recently, I gave up Art due to -A-. It was a willing yet painful stupid decision. Well... hopefully I'll have the courage to pick up that pencil to draw again..
Friday, August 18, 2006
De one with The Other Side [Emolings]
Under light in shadows
Everytime I go for jogging recently, I feel disappointed and abit frustrated because I discover that I'm losing my stamina.
Why? I believe it's because my body is gainning mass due to my obligation to eat as Sweet wants me to. Sweet thinks I should eat regularly to grow and substain my lifestyle. However, I beg to be different at times. Especially, or should i say only when I go jogging and be conscious about my inability to perform.
I start to ponder am I really prepared to give up what I've worked so hard to achieve in the past 6 years.
However, what's undeniable is that I know my body. I've always worked in an unique way. And I know I will never gain back my running ability if I continue to indulge myself to my current diet.
Sweet suggest that it's all pyschological. Although I understand this however that thinking only works for the norm. I'm different. I'm able to run even if i didn't eat a day..or when i'm shagged after guard-duty the day before.
Sweet suggests the "to have energy, you must eat" theory. I feel this kinda diet is for people who want to gain muscle. You eat, because you need the carbohydrates and protein to gain mass so that your muscles can develop out of those mass. So that the muscle grows bigger overtime. Yes, my current diet will definately benefit if I'm working out.
However, running is another thing. No doubt it needs energy but it's one which requires way less the amount of carbohydrates you need for body-building. My body has experience superior condition before. And it's true, my past diet works best for me.
Sigh. Here's the dilemma. Presently, I think and i'm very sure, relationship is the more important and prioritised in my life. Life stages changes. I supposed my running talent is over and it's time to work on my relationship and adopt a less athletic kinda life.
But... come to think about it..it's my fault.. perhaps it's because i'm getting lazy..and eating alot, growing fat.. What a foolish person I am..
*bang my head against the wall*
Everytime I go for jogging recently, I feel disappointed and abit frustrated because I discover that I'm losing my stamina.
Why? I believe it's because my body is gainning mass due to my obligation to eat as Sweet wants me to. Sweet thinks I should eat regularly to grow and substain my lifestyle. However, I beg to be different at times. Especially, or should i say only when I go jogging and be conscious about my inability to perform.
I start to ponder am I really prepared to give up what I've worked so hard to achieve in the past 6 years.
However, what's undeniable is that I know my body. I've always worked in an unique way. And I know I will never gain back my running ability if I continue to indulge myself to my current diet.
Sweet suggest that it's all pyschological. Although I understand this however that thinking only works for the norm. I'm different. I'm able to run even if i didn't eat a day..or when i'm shagged after guard-duty the day before.
Sweet suggests the "to have energy, you must eat" theory. I feel this kinda diet is for people who want to gain muscle. You eat, because you need the carbohydrates and protein to gain mass so that your muscles can develop out of those mass. So that the muscle grows bigger overtime. Yes, my current diet will definately benefit if I'm working out.
However, running is another thing. No doubt it needs energy but it's one which requires way less the amount of carbohydrates you need for body-building. My body has experience superior condition before. And it's true, my past diet works best for me.
Sigh. Here's the dilemma. Presently, I think and i'm very sure, relationship is the more important and prioritised in my life. Life stages changes. I supposed my running talent is over and it's time to work on my relationship and adopt a less athletic kinda life.
But... come to think about it..it's my fault.. perhaps it's because i'm getting lazy..and eating alot, growing fat.. What a foolish person I am..
*bang my head against the wall*
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
De one with A Short One
Calm skies
Today morning I went for a 5km run. After which I prepared for school. Spend some time deciding what to wear. End up, wore an attire which I thought was abit "mismatched".
Macroeconomics took a big 360 degrees turn. Our local lecture, Mr Saminathan, made the lecture interesting and good with his informal and hilarious way of conducting the lesson. None of us fell alseep!
Left campus and took the first bus I saw, Bus 61. Intended to journey down Westmall to buy Sweet Vitamin C (with B-Complex) since Sweet looked kinda disappointed not being able to get it yesterday coz Sweet had financial difficulty.
However, I got down at Bukit Batok and took Bus 852 down Mac Ritchie. Transferred to Bus 165. Got down to OUB then to Thompson Plaza to deposit money from my birthday.
Met Sweet at AMK. IT was really very nice of Sweet to travel down. Ate bah chor mee at hawker. Got a pair of Parker Pen (meant for me from Sweet, as my birthday present. Muacks) and my birthday card for Alan (my good friend cum band-mate from secondary school years).
Got David Tao's lastest album (nice).
Sweet and I went to patron the pasah malum. Brought lots of food like Goreng Pisang, fermented dofu, Shark Fin's soup, Takopachi. I bought fishballs back home for Jasmine since she was yearning for some. We sat at a void deck to feast. What a day to grow fat!
Day ended when I send Sweet to the busstop like usual. Could see that Sweet was really tried from work. Heart aches abit.
Sweet even mention Sweet ate alot and grew to become more compassionate and benevolent even since Sweet knew me. Muacks.
Today morning I went for a 5km run. After which I prepared for school. Spend some time deciding what to wear. End up, wore an attire which I thought was abit "mismatched".
Macroeconomics took a big 360 degrees turn. Our local lecture, Mr Saminathan, made the lecture interesting and good with his informal and hilarious way of conducting the lesson. None of us fell alseep!
Left campus and took the first bus I saw, Bus 61. Intended to journey down Westmall to buy Sweet Vitamin C (with B-Complex) since Sweet looked kinda disappointed not being able to get it yesterday coz Sweet had financial difficulty.
However, I got down at Bukit Batok and took Bus 852 down Mac Ritchie. Transferred to Bus 165. Got down to OUB then to Thompson Plaza to deposit money from my birthday.
Met Sweet at AMK. IT was really very nice of Sweet to travel down. Ate bah chor mee at hawker. Got a pair of Parker Pen (meant for me from Sweet, as my birthday present. Muacks) and my birthday card for Alan (my good friend cum band-mate from secondary school years).
Got David Tao's lastest album (nice).
Sweet and I went to patron the pasah malum. Brought lots of food like Goreng Pisang, fermented dofu, Shark Fin's soup, Takopachi. I bought fishballs back home for Jasmine since she was yearning for some. We sat at a void deck to feast. What a day to grow fat!
Day ended when I send Sweet to the busstop like usual. Could see that Sweet was really tried from work. Heart aches abit.
Sweet even mention Sweet ate alot and grew to become more compassionate and benevolent even since Sweet knew me. Muacks.
De one with 32th day
Afternoon showers
Early morning, I had a delightful marketing lectures. Something unique occurred in lecture today. The lecturer finished her lesson for the day early. In view of this, she asked for a tutorial lesson in a discussion form. She gave us around 10 minutes of discussion. After which, she explained the way of how she was going to conduct the dicussion: "This is how I'll do it. I'll walk around and stop in front of you. And I'm gonna pass the mic to you. And I'll not leave until you've speaked something." Everybody was like so tensed up!
Heng heng, never kana me! phew! But this Bryan guy got the mic and he kinda talked too much in answering the question. Sigh. The lecturer made it a "bryan's benchmark". Initially, most of us (relieved not being choosen) were thankful to him for answering the question. However, when the lecturer took his answering style as a benchmark, all of us flown. I even heard people sitting behind me, commenting wanting to bash him up. Hehehe!
After marketing lecture I had to stay for a short dicussion with my assignment group. Just for nailing down on the specific product which our project's gonna be based on. We brainstormed..and finally decided on doing "Qoo" beverage. Cool. Now we've gotta do research before proceeding on.
During break time during half way through lecture, it was already rainning. Why? Perhaps it's as what Sweet had said. Everytime Sweet wanted to pray at a temple. It will always rain. I joked with Sweet, telling Sweet that Sweet must be a "hor sin" (it means rain-god or house-fly in hokkien). Apparantly Sweet must be a rain-god, causing rain just because of Sweet's praying at a temple. Anyway, too much diversion. I rushed through the rain, to the busstop. Waited for awhile till bus 61 came. By the time I alighted from the bus, my newly bought white Giodano berms was stained with dirt spluttered from the damp ground.
I went up to Sweet's house for awhile. While I waited for Sweet to get ready. At the same time, allowing more duration in hope that the rain would crease or reduce. We then set off for Bugis. Along the way, we stopped at Meridien Hotel to grab a bite from Old Chang Kee. We had hot curry puff in what-I-thought to be a cold day. What's nice was Sweet paid for it.
We prayed at Guan Yin Miao at Si ma lu. Then jalan at the OG nearby. Due to being unable to buy a decent Skinwear underwear, we decided to head towards Parco, I bought Sweet to Wet and Surf to get a new pair of brown Billabong slippers. I managed to get my underwear from Seiyu. We walked through other places like OP (which was rather disappointed we couldn't buy the slippers which i had an eye for upon seeing it) and the Edge for simple window shopping.
Having got tired of the place, we strolled down towards Raffles City. In between, we took a Strawberry sundae, Fries and fish dippers' break at Mac. In vain, we decided to mrt down to Lavender. Had a mistakenably unfinished claypot chicken rice. All thanks to Sweet! Hehe..ordered a $8 claypot rice instead of what we should have ordered: $4's.
Anyway, Sweet wanted to get Green tea, so we went to Golden Mile Complex's Thai Supermarket. Lovely. We then took a cab down Mustafa, just to get my 21st Century Anti-Acne tablets. Don't really know how or what it works...well..just feeding to try. Hehe. I was grateful and really proud of Sweet, for being so knowledgeable and street-smart. Indeed an informed economic consumer! hehehe Love you Sweet!
Early morning, I had a delightful marketing lectures. Something unique occurred in lecture today. The lecturer finished her lesson for the day early. In view of this, she asked for a tutorial lesson in a discussion form. She gave us around 10 minutes of discussion. After which, she explained the way of how she was going to conduct the dicussion: "This is how I'll do it. I'll walk around and stop in front of you. And I'm gonna pass the mic to you. And I'll not leave until you've speaked something." Everybody was like so tensed up!
Heng heng, never kana me! phew! But this Bryan guy got the mic and he kinda talked too much in answering the question. Sigh. The lecturer made it a "bryan's benchmark". Initially, most of us (relieved not being choosen) were thankful to him for answering the question. However, when the lecturer took his answering style as a benchmark, all of us flown. I even heard people sitting behind me, commenting wanting to bash him up. Hehehe!
After marketing lecture I had to stay for a short dicussion with my assignment group. Just for nailing down on the specific product which our project's gonna be based on. We brainstormed..and finally decided on doing "Qoo" beverage. Cool. Now we've gotta do research before proceeding on.
During break time during half way through lecture, it was already rainning. Why? Perhaps it's as what Sweet had said. Everytime Sweet wanted to pray at a temple. It will always rain. I joked with Sweet, telling Sweet that Sweet must be a "hor sin" (it means rain-god or house-fly in hokkien). Apparantly Sweet must be a rain-god, causing rain just because of Sweet's praying at a temple. Anyway, too much diversion. I rushed through the rain, to the busstop. Waited for awhile till bus 61 came. By the time I alighted from the bus, my newly bought white Giodano berms was stained with dirt spluttered from the damp ground.
I went up to Sweet's house for awhile. While I waited for Sweet to get ready. At the same time, allowing more duration in hope that the rain would crease or reduce. We then set off for Bugis. Along the way, we stopped at Meridien Hotel to grab a bite from Old Chang Kee. We had hot curry puff in what-I-thought to be a cold day. What's nice was Sweet paid for it.
We prayed at Guan Yin Miao at Si ma lu. Then jalan at the OG nearby. Due to being unable to buy a decent Skinwear underwear, we decided to head towards Parco, I bought Sweet to Wet and Surf to get a new pair of brown Billabong slippers. I managed to get my underwear from Seiyu. We walked through other places like OP (which was rather disappointed we couldn't buy the slippers which i had an eye for upon seeing it) and the Edge for simple window shopping.
Having got tired of the place, we strolled down towards Raffles City. In between, we took a Strawberry sundae, Fries and fish dippers' break at Mac. In vain, we decided to mrt down to Lavender. Had a mistakenably unfinished claypot chicken rice. All thanks to Sweet! Hehe..ordered a $8 claypot rice instead of what we should have ordered: $4's.
Anyway, Sweet wanted to get Green tea, so we went to Golden Mile Complex's Thai Supermarket. Lovely. We then took a cab down Mustafa, just to get my 21st Century Anti-Acne tablets. Don't really know how or what it works...well..just feeding to try. Hehe. I was grateful and really proud of Sweet, for being so knowledgeable and street-smart. Indeed an informed economic consumer! hehehe Love you Sweet!
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
De one with Je t`aime [Emolings]
"A water pipe with occassional air bubbles stoppages"
Although attached for a month, somehow at times, I feel I still have a distance between you and me, Sweet.. Sweet get irritated because it's hard to make out what happen to me when I become blur or totally lost in a trance sometimes. Or I'll just simply lose myself in a "world of my own".
I'd love to tell you why, Sweet. However, I really don't know how to provide a satisfying answer. I mean, it's a habit like whaat everyones else have in themselves. Of course, not as weird and eccentric like mine.
Perhaps the appropriate reason is because I feel fatigue, I'll just let loose of my focus or concentration. A personal Hiatus. I do have a reason how i come about to have developed this habit. It's because I've faced absolute loneliness before during my secondary school days. That's why sometimes I can just wait for time to pass, staring blankly and lose myself.
I know I'm bounded by finacial limit. However, when i'm with Sweet. I just can't control myself, I just wanna provide for you.. be loving to you, giving you anything you desire. It's maybe a good way to compensate my inability to make you happy with my words or facial expressions.
I'm really striving alot to make conversation with you. Be more expressive. Yes, if i'm so comfortable with you, I should be able to talk like nobody's business. However, i'm sorry i'm really not that kinda overly-chatty person. Even when I'm with close friend like Clara or Chin Yu or even Mohan, I don't keep talking to them every now and then. Especially towards the last part of us (me with my close friends) going out, we hardly chat because both of us are tired and exhausted of topics to talk about.
I want to tell you everything I feel. However, there are times certain things I phrase it in a different way, bearing in mind to be sensitive. I really care too much for my partners' and friends' feelings. I don't wish to say things to offend or demoralise them. With you, I feel even more responsible over my words because of all people, I don't wish to hurt you in any way...
Nowadays, I really don't know why but I realised two changes in me. I'd like to specify first, it's not because of you who have caused this.
I've discovered firstly, I'm very offensive in my speech. I keep using the wrong expression phrases or words or incorrect statements. Secondly, I tend to lose my "stamina" for a conversation pretty fast. Sigh. I am really frustrated at myself for having these "disabilities"!
Well, inevitably, I'm worried that one day you'll just reach your limit of patience and start embarking on a new, better journey. I'm not habouring negative thoughts again. I just feel so. Don't I have the right to have freedom in how I feel? Sigh. It also strictly doesn't mean that all your assurance are disregarded. I appreciate it alot. But as what -A- told me before. Nobody is able to predict what will happen tomorrow or in the future.
In addition, I'm not saying I'm not going to follow what I've agreed with you, Sweet. I'll treasure my present with you and improve so that the relationship will continue.
This is another thing which demoralises me. I need my lover to be supportive and really pocess me. When I'm trying my best to make things back to the way they were, reconcile or when I do something wrong in your opinion, please don't "hack-care" me. Assure me of your constant attention, agreement, appreciation and compromise. I'll feel right in what I do.
Sometimes, I do feel jealous when I see you messaging your friends.. my doubts will never be cleared unless you tell me. Sigh. Perhaps I'm pocessive? or I'm really too afraid of getting hurt?
Anyway, I'll still respect your privacy if that's the way you define "transparency" until. I mean, I trust you because I love you dearly. However, I just don't want to be in a situation where you start getting to know another person and keep me in the dark. But then again, I wanna emphasise that I trust you still.
Hmm.. that's all for now... before I end, I still love you as much. The above won't affect my feelings for you. Cross thy heart.
Although attached for a month, somehow at times, I feel I still have a distance between you and me, Sweet.. Sweet get irritated because it's hard to make out what happen to me when I become blur or totally lost in a trance sometimes. Or I'll just simply lose myself in a "world of my own".
I'd love to tell you why, Sweet. However, I really don't know how to provide a satisfying answer. I mean, it's a habit like whaat everyones else have in themselves. Of course, not as weird and eccentric like mine.
Perhaps the appropriate reason is because I feel fatigue, I'll just let loose of my focus or concentration. A personal Hiatus. I do have a reason how i come about to have developed this habit. It's because I've faced absolute loneliness before during my secondary school days. That's why sometimes I can just wait for time to pass, staring blankly and lose myself.
I know I'm bounded by finacial limit. However, when i'm with Sweet. I just can't control myself, I just wanna provide for you.. be loving to you, giving you anything you desire. It's maybe a good way to compensate my inability to make you happy with my words or facial expressions.
I'm really striving alot to make conversation with you. Be more expressive. Yes, if i'm so comfortable with you, I should be able to talk like nobody's business. However, i'm sorry i'm really not that kinda overly-chatty person. Even when I'm with close friend like Clara or Chin Yu or even Mohan, I don't keep talking to them every now and then. Especially towards the last part of us (me with my close friends) going out, we hardly chat because both of us are tired and exhausted of topics to talk about.
I want to tell you everything I feel. However, there are times certain things I phrase it in a different way, bearing in mind to be sensitive. I really care too much for my partners' and friends' feelings. I don't wish to say things to offend or demoralise them. With you, I feel even more responsible over my words because of all people, I don't wish to hurt you in any way...
Nowadays, I really don't know why but I realised two changes in me. I'd like to specify first, it's not because of you who have caused this.
I've discovered firstly, I'm very offensive in my speech. I keep using the wrong expression phrases or words or incorrect statements. Secondly, I tend to lose my "stamina" for a conversation pretty fast. Sigh. I am really frustrated at myself for having these "disabilities"!
Well, inevitably, I'm worried that one day you'll just reach your limit of patience and start embarking on a new, better journey. I'm not habouring negative thoughts again. I just feel so. Don't I have the right to have freedom in how I feel? Sigh. It also strictly doesn't mean that all your assurance are disregarded. I appreciate it alot. But as what -A- told me before. Nobody is able to predict what will happen tomorrow or in the future.
In addition, I'm not saying I'm not going to follow what I've agreed with you, Sweet. I'll treasure my present with you and improve so that the relationship will continue.
This is another thing which demoralises me. I need my lover to be supportive and really pocess me. When I'm trying my best to make things back to the way they were, reconcile or when I do something wrong in your opinion, please don't "hack-care" me. Assure me of your constant attention, agreement, appreciation and compromise. I'll feel right in what I do.
Sometimes, I do feel jealous when I see you messaging your friends.. my doubts will never be cleared unless you tell me. Sigh. Perhaps I'm pocessive? or I'm really too afraid of getting hurt?
Anyway, I'll still respect your privacy if that's the way you define "transparency" until. I mean, I trust you because I love you dearly. However, I just don't want to be in a situation where you start getting to know another person and keep me in the dark. But then again, I wanna emphasise that I trust you still.
Hmm.. that's all for now... before I end, I still love you as much. The above won't affect my feelings for you. Cross thy heart.
Monday, August 14, 2006
De one with Our first Monthiversary
Sunny
Today marks an memoriable day. A day too special to be unforgettable. It's the one-month anniversary between me and Sweet!
Sweet took a half-day off today. So earlier I went to Mandai Columbarium to pay my visit to mummy (i really misses her alot). Something I've been doing on a monthly basis, revolving around the 13th. By the time I took bus 138 then subsequently, bus 13. Sweet was arriving in a cab. Sweet was so nice to buy me You Mian from the new eating outlet around my house area. Although Sweet called me earlier to ask me to go straight home to rest and wait for Sweet's arrival. I decided to go opposite to get Sweet's favour Waffle with Kaya from Prima Deli cakeshop. Thankfully, I managed to give a surprise to Sweet upon Sweet's done with buying the noodles.
We went back to have lunch as we watch channel 5 on tv. Then we enjoyed some private, loving time together. Until it was a quarter before 5pm did we leave from AMK central to change the white Gold ring ah-ma got for me for my birthday present, which was too small. Changed from size 15-16 after a short moment of confusion between the male assistant who make it so complicated because he measured my white gold ring and my couple ring to determine the size of my finger.
Sweet and I dined at Siam Kitchen at Suntec. Had a filling buffet. Even though Sweet wasn't fully satisfied with a few dishes. We ate our fill at our anniversay dinner. After which we patronise Giodano. Just simply amazed by their white-collection. We end up buying our first common clothing which was a pair of white casual berms. At first, I was worried that the white and thin fabric might enable a translucent reveal of the color of our undergarment. After trying, I realised it's not that visible. It's opaque actually. Thankfully!
We spent alot despite the both of us supposedly to be broke. Hehe. Earlier Sweet every bought a $33 key cum coin pouch. It was really a nice one.
I really appreciate Sweet coming down all the way because I wasn't travelling on concession. Overjoyed we spent some genuine loving time together. Cheers! Here's to our very first one month of relationship towards eternity! =D
Today marks an memoriable day. A day too special to be unforgettable. It's the one-month anniversary between me and Sweet!
Sweet took a half-day off today. So earlier I went to Mandai Columbarium to pay my visit to mummy (i really misses her alot). Something I've been doing on a monthly basis, revolving around the 13th. By the time I took bus 138 then subsequently, bus 13. Sweet was arriving in a cab. Sweet was so nice to buy me You Mian from the new eating outlet around my house area. Although Sweet called me earlier to ask me to go straight home to rest and wait for Sweet's arrival. I decided to go opposite to get Sweet's favour Waffle with Kaya from Prima Deli cakeshop. Thankfully, I managed to give a surprise to Sweet upon Sweet's done with buying the noodles.
We went back to have lunch as we watch channel 5 on tv. Then we enjoyed some private, loving time together. Until it was a quarter before 5pm did we leave from AMK central to change the white Gold ring ah-ma got for me for my birthday present, which was too small. Changed from size 15-16 after a short moment of confusion between the male assistant who make it so complicated because he measured my white gold ring and my couple ring to determine the size of my finger.
Sweet and I dined at Siam Kitchen at Suntec. Had a filling buffet. Even though Sweet wasn't fully satisfied with a few dishes. We ate our fill at our anniversay dinner. After which we patronise Giodano. Just simply amazed by their white-collection. We end up buying our first common clothing which was a pair of white casual berms. At first, I was worried that the white and thin fabric might enable a translucent reveal of the color of our undergarment. After trying, I realised it's not that visible. It's opaque actually. Thankfully!
We spent alot despite the both of us supposedly to be broke. Hehe. Earlier Sweet every bought a $33 key cum coin pouch. It was really a nice one.
I really appreciate Sweet coming down all the way because I wasn't travelling on concession. Overjoyed we spent some genuine loving time together. Cheers! Here's to our very first one month of relationship towards eternity! =D
Sunday, August 13, 2006
De one with Sapping Sunday
Slow Sunday
Today Sweet had to work over time. It's Sunday but Sweet still works for the benefit of getting more incentives for work. Thus, we could only meet up with each other during late afternoon.
Since so, I went jogging to cover a distance of about 4km in the morning, after having watched two episodes of Naturo Volume 11. Sigh. Just when it reaches the exciting part, the volume's finished. Sigh. Gotta wait until the next episode from Volume 12. As usual, I didn't have much stamina to run. Think me stamina and endurance are deteriorating.
Well, meet Sweet at the house area. After which we set off to Orchard to dine at Sakae Sushi at Wheelock Place. It was a $51 dinner lor. Boy we sure ate alot! Bloated, we walked to Heeren to shop at HMV, and the trendy shops upstairs. That was when Sweet started to feel I didn't talk much. Reason me being quiet was because I was concerned over Sweet, who told me Sweet was tired from work and waking up early. So I didn't want to engage Sweet into any conversation. Then I suggested going NUM but Sweet didn't wanna go in, so I changed my mind. What I replied when Sweet asked me why, about I'm able to come again with Chin Yu, made Sweet thrown temper at me again. Sweet was jealous, thinking why I enjoy shopping with Chin Yu. And always being gloomy when I shop with Sweet. And Sweet kept emphasing that because of Sweet's financial constrains, it made me shopping trip disappointing.
We had a short quarrelling. Sweet just walked off towards cineleisure. I really didn't know how to coax the situation. I lost my temper and suffered from a mere migraine instantaneously. We cooled down abit before going up Takashimaya and me guiding Sweet through how I shop usually.
We had an understanding chat in the library. That was when I realise the reason why Sweet never mention much about going for shopping much. It's because of finacial problems. Sweet's like me, we like to buy things everytime we see something we like. However when we shop but find it unaffordable, we feel depressed. I understand this. We had a chill-out and kissed each other to reconcile.
Sweet did a very loving thing: Brought a package of my favourite Famous Amos cookies for me. To my surprise, Sweet recognise my favourite Macadamia and Choc Chips cookies without me ever telling before. I was super touched by Sweet's sweet act. My heart really melt...
We spent an amount of time at Body Shop. In which I purchased a Lavender Body deodorant (to help Sweet relax due to quick-temper and stress), one Energising deodorant and Teatree mask for myself. Sweet, on the other hand, bought a facial wash, body scrub (which I choose the flavor for Sweet) and also renewed the membership. Spare the moment of embarrassment when Sweet presented an expired card initially. Omg.
I sent Sweet home. Sweet sent me and waited for my bus at the busstop. So loving...
I sense Sweet's starting to give up during this afternoon's quarrel. I can't help feeling in times like this, I ever question myself till when will I put up with this quick temper of Sweet's until I reached my limit. However, everytime I think of giving up, I just can't. Because my heart has already been so deeply love with Sweet. Parting with Sweet is like depriving myself of water, suffocating myself of air and I know life will crumple again.
Sweet, I really want you to know this, I will never leave you. Sigh.. my heart is sounding this devotion in banshee. Will you ever know of this?
Saturday, August 12, 2006
De one with Sweet & Steamboat celebration
Sunny day
Today, I did a very bad thing. I conveniently skipped my lecture and went to meet Sweet to swim cum sun-tan at Bukit Batok Swimming Complex. As what Sweet said, the place was indeed peaceful. In my opinion, it's likely due to the big area in which the benches are spreaded apart from one another, allowing for larger personal space. Sigh. End up, Sweet got tanner than me. Before showering, I wanted to swim longer at the medium pool. "Thank you and muacks" #1: Sweet was so lovingly patient, waited in the pool edge for me.
After that, we took a bus down to Westmall where we had a sumptuous meal at Malim (oops, can't recall what's the English name). We ordered standard and familiar dim sum: Xiu mai, Xiao long bao, Ling long bao glutinous rice, Fried carrot cake. Being adventurous, we tried other dishes like Fried Beancurd skin with You Tiao (You Tiao reminds me of Chin Yu, cause there was a moment I used this nickname on him, for pure teasing), Fried Prawn Fritters, Crumple Prok Bun and Pey Dan Congee. Last but not least, an anticipating Red bean pancake which turned out to be disappointing. Omg. "Thank you and muacks" #2: Sweet was adapting my eating habit of adding pepper with congee (when Sweet normally like congee with chili only).
"Thank you and muacks" #3: Sweet treat me. Not forgetting, we had a fun moment, serving each other tea. hehe. The food taste good. Especially the sample of spicy and sour cabbage. Plus the CUTLERIES (Sweet kept laughing when I said it wrongly as Utensilies) and eating plate were all different and varied in shapes.
After that, I said I wanna eat Mr Softee and Sweet brought me to the neighbourhood's 7-Elevens. I love Mr Softee alot! Ever since young, I used to go to a market place with my granny in the morning over every weekend. Without fail, she will buy me Mr Softee. Because I hate walking and the ice-cream was to cool me down and coax me into walking. Hehe. Pretty spolit kid right?
Sweet could sense I didn't wanna go back so early. So Sweet brought me to this Church of St Mary of the Angels, wanting me to meet someone.. who turned out to be the malaysian pastor there, Friar John. erm.. well, it's a highly modernised church with cool design and simple yet stylish architectured building. It's patron-Saint was St Francis of Assisi. A saint who loved nature and ever-kind to animals. That's part of what determine the simple design of the Church. Hehe.. Sweet asked me to close my eyes and guided me up to a columbrium. At the end of this stagment was Stain glass picture which caught my liking. It depicts the three scenes, namely the Baptise of Christ, St Anthony and St Francis Union of Hands and Lady Mary's visit from Saint Gabriel. I enjoyed depicting the whole picture and implications by Sweet and Friar John. Art never fails to tell a million words.
Back at home, Mama and Jasmine prepared steamboat celebration for an advanced 21st Birthday gala for me. When I just got home, ah-ma presented me with the presents they bought for me. It was a really beautiful and expensive white gold Ring and a bracelet! Super nice!! I adore and appreciate it alot!
Thanks everyone for everything. Love my family! and definately, I'll never forget my late-mummy. I think you will be happy for me in wherever you are. I feel it in my heart. Forever...
Today, I did a very bad thing. I conveniently skipped my lecture and went to meet Sweet to swim cum sun-tan at Bukit Batok Swimming Complex. As what Sweet said, the place was indeed peaceful. In my opinion, it's likely due to the big area in which the benches are spreaded apart from one another, allowing for larger personal space. Sigh. End up, Sweet got tanner than me. Before showering, I wanted to swim longer at the medium pool. "Thank you and muacks" #1: Sweet was so lovingly patient, waited in the pool edge for me.
After that, we took a bus down to Westmall where we had a sumptuous meal at Malim (oops, can't recall what's the English name). We ordered standard and familiar dim sum: Xiu mai, Xiao long bao, Ling long bao glutinous rice, Fried carrot cake. Being adventurous, we tried other dishes like Fried Beancurd skin with You Tiao (You Tiao reminds me of Chin Yu, cause there was a moment I used this nickname on him, for pure teasing), Fried Prawn Fritters, Crumple Prok Bun and Pey Dan Congee. Last but not least, an anticipating Red bean pancake which turned out to be disappointing. Omg. "Thank you and muacks" #2: Sweet was adapting my eating habit of adding pepper with congee (when Sweet normally like congee with chili only).
"Thank you and muacks" #3: Sweet treat me. Not forgetting, we had a fun moment, serving each other tea. hehe. The food taste good. Especially the sample of spicy and sour cabbage. Plus the CUTLERIES (Sweet kept laughing when I said it wrongly as Utensilies) and eating plate were all different and varied in shapes.
After that, I said I wanna eat Mr Softee and Sweet brought me to the neighbourhood's 7-Elevens. I love Mr Softee alot! Ever since young, I used to go to a market place with my granny in the morning over every weekend. Without fail, she will buy me Mr Softee. Because I hate walking and the ice-cream was to cool me down and coax me into walking. Hehe. Pretty spolit kid right?
Sweet could sense I didn't wanna go back so early. So Sweet brought me to this Church of St Mary of the Angels, wanting me to meet someone.. who turned out to be the malaysian pastor there, Friar John. erm.. well, it's a highly modernised church with cool design and simple yet stylish architectured building. It's patron-Saint was St Francis of Assisi. A saint who loved nature and ever-kind to animals. That's part of what determine the simple design of the Church. Hehe.. Sweet asked me to close my eyes and guided me up to a columbrium. At the end of this stagment was Stain glass picture which caught my liking. It depicts the three scenes, namely the Baptise of Christ, St Anthony and St Francis Union of Hands and Lady Mary's visit from Saint Gabriel. I enjoyed depicting the whole picture and implications by Sweet and Friar John. Art never fails to tell a million words.
Back at home, Mama and Jasmine prepared steamboat celebration for an advanced 21st Birthday gala for me. When I just got home, ah-ma presented me with the presents they bought for me. It was a really beautiful and expensive white gold Ring and a bracelet! Super nice!! I adore and appreciate it alot!
Thanks everyone for everything. Love my family! and definately, I'll never forget my late-mummy. I think you will be happy for me in wherever you are. I feel it in my heart. Forever...
Friday, August 11, 2006
De one with Special movie
Cloudy
Early morning around 5am, I message Sweet my apologise for yesterday. I even attempt to make things better, sending Sweet a 20 sms-long message to Sweet, telling Sweet about nearly all the things I've realised, known and learnt about Sweet. From our first date, till stuff Sweet loves and Sweet's personal nitty gritty. It's to prove my sincerity and integrity as a bf. Show how much Sweet matters and have integrated significance into my life...
Today Business computing lecture was more interesting! The part about how "bytes" comes about. And the fascinating "base 2" and admirable fact about how the computer reads hexadecimals to produce "texts". It's really amazing how the computer hardware works. Simply complicated and brilliant!
After lecture when to meet Clara at Chinese Garden mrt. Sigh. On my bus ride from school. I boarded a rather crowded bus 52 at SIM busstop. Apparantly, not long after, I realised there was this available green seat. Upon the stopping of the bus at a busstop, I was about to take off my sling bag, preparing to seat when I saw two old ladies coming up. Abit of embarassment upon realising why people left the green seats empty. I was so paiseh. I sling back my bag again. Omg.
Upon reaching Clementi. There was this "barrier" of crowd taking their own sweet time to walk to the control station. Omg. I saw on the electronic train-arrival board, the train to Boon Lay was like arriving in 1 mins' time. I made my way through the annoyingly slow crowd, rushed up the flight of steps and managed to board the departing train before the doors closed behind me a couple of seconds later. Phew!!
We finally made our way to Jurong East Swimming Complex. Hehe.. my very first time there. After all that have been only described to me by the friends. It's really big. And more expensive than other complexes (50 cents more!) Then, the very 2nd embarrassing thing occur. I mistaken the changing room for boys as men's. Omg. I happily vocal out my bid goodbye to Clara so openly. Omg. It was a really embarrassing moment! We were both laughing like lunatics!
We swam at the competition pool, before going to the "round-about". It's actually a circle lane which has currents to propel you, best if you sit in a rented floats. We waited quite awhile for the most awaited man-made"sea waves". Nothing fun at the beginning. But one thing we observed was once the sea tides started, the pool start to draw alot of users to it. People were screaming and exclaiming. Some at the edges, trying to grab to the wall to climb stupidly, with aid of the tide. Others just sit on floats and get toppled by the tides and struggle to get back on again (Lame~). There are specially two persons. Me and Clara. Hehe, standing in th middle and trying to seek our share of fun. So I started to imitate the sound effects. I did a very silly funny action of going up and down with the tides and sound out "wuuuuuaooooooo". So lame but it made Clara laughing till her teeth nearly dropped! HAHA! I even act like i'm drowning, screaming like those little girls were, and the "escaping act" like we were chased by an approaching shark. Really lunatic!
After which I stayed with Clara till her boyfriend Shawn, came over to find her. I left and took a train to Bukit Batok. From there, I took bus 852 back. On the way, my eyes were irritated with the pool's chlorine, I fell asleep on the bus. It wasn't until Sweet called me the 2nd time to wake me up.
Sweet and I had dinner at Sumo AMK in the evening. Both of us order Udon. Kinda disappointing. Well.. thank god we had Nachos and "mixed nuts" to compensate our unsatisfied taste-buds! We sat all the way to the end of the cinema where both of us could have our private space. It was abit eerie in the beginning because we feel so alienated from the majority crowd, who were sitting in the middle cache. Fortunately, it didn't take long before we get used to and comfortable with our seatings. Sweet and I have a really "great" experience, watching "The AntZ Bully".
The Antz Bully is generally an animated movie, depicting the story about a young boy named Marcus who was always bullied by this neighbourhood bully, bigger in size and more popular than him. As a result, he starts to venge his angry on the ants which were having their nest in his front yard. Under the potion of a Wizard Ant, Marcus became as miniture as an ant. He realises and appreciates the value and situations of the ants, vulnerable to attacks by Warps and humans. In the end, Marcus tries to save his ant-friends and the colony of insects which were in distress with the Exterminator hired by Marcus himself right from the beginning of the story.
It was a rather enjoyable movie. Being with Sweet made it more worthwhile. hehe. But Sweet mentioned something which is true. The movie isn't just pure entertainment but bears the underlying morale. To teach us to value the lives of living things even to a tiny creature like an ant.
I feel there's alot more than that. Sweet agrees too. Antz Bully is also about learning the importance of true loyal friendship and team-ship. Both of us are seeing more things in common. I am really happy for us!!!
Early morning around 5am, I message Sweet my apologise for yesterday. I even attempt to make things better, sending Sweet a 20 sms-long message to Sweet, telling Sweet about nearly all the things I've realised, known and learnt about Sweet. From our first date, till stuff Sweet loves and Sweet's personal nitty gritty. It's to prove my sincerity and integrity as a bf. Show how much Sweet matters and have integrated significance into my life...
Today Business computing lecture was more interesting! The part about how "bytes" comes about. And the fascinating "base 2" and admirable fact about how the computer reads hexadecimals to produce "texts". It's really amazing how the computer hardware works. Simply complicated and brilliant!
After lecture when to meet Clara at Chinese Garden mrt. Sigh. On my bus ride from school. I boarded a rather crowded bus 52 at SIM busstop. Apparantly, not long after, I realised there was this available green seat. Upon the stopping of the bus at a busstop, I was about to take off my sling bag, preparing to seat when I saw two old ladies coming up. Abit of embarassment upon realising why people left the green seats empty. I was so paiseh. I sling back my bag again. Omg.
Upon reaching Clementi. There was this "barrier" of crowd taking their own sweet time to walk to the control station. Omg. I saw on the electronic train-arrival board, the train to Boon Lay was like arriving in 1 mins' time. I made my way through the annoyingly slow crowd, rushed up the flight of steps and managed to board the departing train before the doors closed behind me a couple of seconds later. Phew!!
We finally made our way to Jurong East Swimming Complex. Hehe.. my very first time there. After all that have been only described to me by the friends. It's really big. And more expensive than other complexes (50 cents more!) Then, the very 2nd embarrassing thing occur. I mistaken the changing room for boys as men's. Omg. I happily vocal out my bid goodbye to Clara so openly. Omg. It was a really embarrassing moment! We were both laughing like lunatics!
We swam at the competition pool, before going to the "round-about". It's actually a circle lane which has currents to propel you, best if you sit in a rented floats. We waited quite awhile for the most awaited man-made"sea waves". Nothing fun at the beginning. But one thing we observed was once the sea tides started, the pool start to draw alot of users to it. People were screaming and exclaiming. Some at the edges, trying to grab to the wall to climb stupidly, with aid of the tide. Others just sit on floats and get toppled by the tides and struggle to get back on again (Lame~). There are specially two persons. Me and Clara. Hehe, standing in th middle and trying to seek our share of fun. So I started to imitate the sound effects. I did a very silly funny action of going up and down with the tides and sound out "wuuuuuaooooooo". So lame but it made Clara laughing till her teeth nearly dropped! HAHA! I even act like i'm drowning, screaming like those little girls were, and the "escaping act" like we were chased by an approaching shark. Really lunatic!
After which I stayed with Clara till her boyfriend Shawn, came over to find her. I left and took a train to Bukit Batok. From there, I took bus 852 back. On the way, my eyes were irritated with the pool's chlorine, I fell asleep on the bus. It wasn't until Sweet called me the 2nd time to wake me up.
Sweet and I had dinner at Sumo AMK in the evening. Both of us order Udon. Kinda disappointing. Well.. thank god we had Nachos and "mixed nuts" to compensate our unsatisfied taste-buds! We sat all the way to the end of the cinema where both of us could have our private space. It was abit eerie in the beginning because we feel so alienated from the majority crowd, who were sitting in the middle cache. Fortunately, it didn't take long before we get used to and comfortable with our seatings. Sweet and I have a really "great" experience, watching "The AntZ Bully".
The Antz Bully is generally an animated movie, depicting the story about a young boy named Marcus who was always bullied by this neighbourhood bully, bigger in size and more popular than him. As a result, he starts to venge his angry on the ants which were having their nest in his front yard. Under the potion of a Wizard Ant, Marcus became as miniture as an ant. He realises and appreciates the value and situations of the ants, vulnerable to attacks by Warps and humans. In the end, Marcus tries to save his ant-friends and the colony of insects which were in distress with the Exterminator hired by Marcus himself right from the beginning of the story.
It was a rather enjoyable movie. Being with Sweet made it more worthwhile. hehe. But Sweet mentioned something which is true. The movie isn't just pure entertainment but bears the underlying morale. To teach us to value the lives of living things even to a tiny creature like an ant.
I feel there's alot more than that. Sweet agrees too. Antz Bully is also about learning the importance of true loyal friendship and team-ship. Both of us are seeing more things in common. I am really happy for us!!!
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