De one with Day After 2nd Monthiversary

Light showers

Today happens to be 1 day after 2nd Monthiversary for Sweet and me.. 2 days after 15 months since my late-mummy departed..

I miss these two people who I hold dearly to my heart...undeniably alot.

As both Sweet and I were busy with our respective commitments, we couldn't meet until this Saturday to celebrate a belated 2nd Monthiversary. Sigh. I was so stressed with my exam preparation yesterday that I didn't realise it was the 14th of the month. It was Sweet who reminded me in an sms when I was on my way to AMK library in the drizzle. I feel so terrible I kept apologising. Anyway, I took time to draw a heart shape made up of "Happy Monthiversary! 140 Love 4eva 706" and mms it to Sweet.

:: Sorry Sweet. Happy Monthiversary.

I've been busy mugging for my mid-semesters exams. Well.. for Econs1016's MCQ test, I got 28/30. Today was demoralising. ACCT2060 paper was really tough. Although I've studied, upon exam, I couldn't recall most of what I've cramped. Sigh. After exam everybody feels so happy. I felt so unintelligent and self-discriminated lor... I used to feel this post-exam disappointment was I was in Jc.. Just little did I realise that the feeling is so instantaneous..
Omg. Anyway, I know it, I didn't do well.

What made the day more worse was my Ipod mini dropped out of my folder in after exam. Fortunately, some kind soul picked it up and handled it to the our lecturer Daniel Tan, who then announced the "Lost and Found" when our accounting lecture resumed after a post-exam short break.

Sweet replied me and consoled me. I was really thankful for that.

What a "screwed-up" day for me. Due to this, I feel so gloomy the whole day. Life's path is so rocky for me. Alot of aspects I've been working hard but I find myself getting a result not as what I've expected. Stress too. Believe it or not, it's drizzling again. It always seemed to drizzle or rain whenever I feel depressed. It didn't take very long before Jay Chou's "Xin Yu" start playing in my head as I start to "stone" again.

After lecture, Guan Hui wanted us to go for lunch and catch a movie. So we end up having lunch at our campus' canteen before watching "Banquet", 2pm at Westmall Eng Wah. It's not a bad show. A show depicting the desire, ambition and crave for power; love.

It stars Zhang Ziyi as the Prince Wu Luan's gf, who end up getting married upon the liking of the Emperor. The Emperor's younger brother assassinated the Emperor to gain his status as Emperor and the current Empress.

In the milst of conspiracy within the court, there are three distinctive love protrayed in the movie: Jealousy and struggling undying pragmatic love (of the Empress for the Prince) Innocent love (of the Grand Advisor's daughter Qing Yu towards the Prince); and genuine affection between the brother and sister.

The ending? Zhang Zi Yi became Emperor as the Prince and sinister Emperor died during the Banquet on an inauspicious date. The rising Phoenix aka Zhang Zi Yi got assassinated. However the assassinator wasn't shown.

Halfway through the movie, Sweet gave me a call. I was overwhelmed with absolute guilt since I didn't message Sweet and update Sweet of my where-abouts (as it's a form of mutual transparency to each other in our relationship). I feel so afraid, will Sweet not tell me where and who Sweet is going out with, next time? Of course, whenever I have doubts whether Sweet will leave me, I keep reminding myself that I should and will trust Sweet.

Besides this, I was afraid will Sweet misinterpret that I am "depreciating" my attitude towards our relationship which I promise I have and will never do so. I'm sweet-loving and faithful.

Sigh. Nowadays I'm so cautious about my words and expression. I just don't want Sweet to feel that I'm starting my "depression" and quarrel-inducing demerits. Mentally stressed and emotionally-fragile and insecured, I really need lots and lots of support and love. Sigh. Exam sucks.