SIMPLY READ, INDULGE AND HEARD WITH WORDS

Thursday, July 10, 2008

De one with Apologies

Shaddy all over again

Chin Yu says I should have a goal in life, it focuses meaning to my life.

Helpless and honest, I've never had a defined goal in life. Most of the time, it was imposed upon me.

Not even being a friend...

I think I've been apologising most in my past 22 years. I was trying to please everybody, in order to make people happy. Never felt I did. 22 years of apologies, I still feel far-d from who I humbly wish to be.

Like tonight, after meeting a solemn looking Mohan, I could help but slipped into deep reflection of my inner self. Turns out disappointingly, uh-ah.. I am not a good person after all.

If social is a subject or exam in life, I reckon I'll barely pass. It's cruelly pathetic... when you realised what a loser you are. Not self-pitying but hey, let's "open the windows and chat brightly". Truth is... Nobody enjoys having my company: My introverting nature cause people to feel uncomfortable and most of the time, awkward. When we're out, I hardly talk much. Besides, my conversation were short-lived or turned out offensive. Can I be even more?

Ok, enough questions to which I do not have answers. I'm so tired. Excuse, let it be. Barely feel accepted or appreciated. I'm just... one grave boring guy.. nothing else excepts full of apologies.