No words can describe how much I love you
Sweet, I just want very much to tell you the following too. Partly it's because of my guilt, for saying this out-front and my undeniable inability to express myself openly. Since I tend to keep most matters in my heart.
I'm really Sorry for those which I have yet and what I can't provide and achieve for you. However, i'm willing to try my ulmost best to strive, just to see that smile on your radient face... create that drip of eternal happiness glowing from within the bottom of your caring and benevolent heart.
I'm a Leo. However, sadly, my birthday falls very near to Virgo. Perhaps it's because of this, that I'm also very in need of constant assurance, protection and understanding. I can be pretty overly-sensitive at times. Thus, whatever you mentioned about your nature as a Capricorn, I'm able to understand those faint side of the soul.
I, Jason Lek, really love you. I can promise to compensate my facial and verbal inexpressionism with my sincere actions of affection. 2ndly, you deserve more than anyone (besides my immediate family members) my undying eternal love, passion and affection. I'll promise that it will never cease or deteriorate but only improve, from the very first day till the never-coming and unforseenable end. 3rdly, please accept my obstinate need I feel within, as a bf, to care and support you, be it emotionally, physically, mentally or financially.
I wouldn't deny that I'm unable to pluck the stars, climb the highest mountain, swim the deepest sea or practically travel till the ends of world with you. However, I'll be more than willing to make whatever possible, within my means, to make the impossible possible to the best of my capability. And most importantly, I can die for you. Sounds cheesy, mushy, exaggerating or unbelievable.. but I will..serious.
No words can describe how much I love you, adore you, genuinely care for you.
No "I love you" in the countless internationally translation or the kisses we share every dusk and dawn can measure up to the limitless, undivided and pure wholehearted love Jason Lek has for you, Sweet heart. You matter a great deal to me.
Simply because I really love you. Now and forever.
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
De one with 2nd Day at SIM
Rising temperatures
Today was a rather short but kinda miserable day at school. Although early in the morning I was super early to arrive at SIM around 0930hrs. 15 mins earlier than i was supposed to meet Zhen Ze. This was due to my very first time making my trip to SIM on bus 74. I left house before 9am. By 0902 am i was already at the neighbourhood busstop. It didn't start to panick me until the time was 0905am and bus 74 was no where to be seen. Plus the long jam of traffic along Marymount road which bus 74 was travelling along, it only made me more worry that I was going to arrive late at school. Thank goodness! The bus came sooner. I was so relieved lah when i finally board the bus. Well.. one worry off came another one dropping on my shoulders. THERE WAS NO SEAT when i climbed up the upper deck of the bus even the "seats available" indicator shown 55 available. OMG, what the... !!! Had no choice but to turn around and walked down the steps and settle for the lower deck. Fortunate enough, I managed to find a seat somewhere in between two gentlemen at the back of the bus. Hmmm... what a eventful morning to start the 2nd school day. Of course, I must not forget to credit the voodoo doll which Sweet and me have. Somehow must be the lucky charm brought by the "traveller" voodoo (plus a pinch of love power) which made everything (the bus coming in time, seat available)!
=P
Oki.. let's talk about what happened in school. Only had marketing lecture in the morning (damn shiok because it's half-day in school. However, prone side was I travelled so far and spent on transportation just to be in school for short duration of 3hrs.) Thankfully, it's greatly compensated because i get to see and spend time with Sweet after school! hmm...
(tian mi mi~)
Well.. better not digress.. Oh.. as i was saying.. Today, unknowingly, I couldn't comprehen whatever Dr Con, the lecturer (who came late for lecture by the way) was teaching. Sigh. Next bad experience was my inferiority complex set in today. Depressing me a gret deal. You see, i had a minor group discussion (thankfully we had a group of 6 by the end of lecture yesterday). However, when the others asked for my opinion, I was tongue-tight. Obviously I was worried that the group may think that I'm not participating. After lecture resumed, everything got worst! Dr Con talked about how to deal with people who the group feels is not contributing to the project. Omg. That moment, I got so lost and shakened. Will my group members think badly of me.. that my inability to express myself verbally, might be misunderstood as my unwillingness to contribute or participate? Then again.. other bothering troubles start to flood my lost mind. It was about what Sweet mentioned about in blog.
Yesterday, I got worried and lost after having read Sweet's blog. In the blog, it was mentioned that Sweet was finding it very difficult to know about my thoughts and feelings. We had a solemn chat over the phone, discussing about the challenges (which i know it's all about me) which both of us are facing. I really fear losing Sweet. Whether Sweet will find other better bf than me and dump me there-after. I fear Sweet might get tired. Tired of trying to know me inside-out. Fear that Sweet will leave me due to reasons like "we can't click", "no common shared interest".. Fear that one day, Sweet might just give up on me. All these pessimistic and demoralising inferiorities rushed continunously and unstoppably into my head, as though currents were gushing out upon the triggered opening of dam-gates.
It didn't take very long before I start mis-reading Sweet's message. I got over-sensitive over simply phrase like "I don't want to disturb you anymore". Then came the depressing trama which was too overwhelming which landed me to break down and cry. I just couldn't help it. My heart was overflowing with tears... to a degree near how i felt when I lost the one I loved to God.
Apparantly, we cleared our doubts and insecurity on our perspective of opposites' love for each other. Today, Sweet and I spent a light outing together. Had lunch at the other Bukit Timah East neighbourhood coffee-shop (the "rivalling" coffee shop). It was so sweet that Sweet paid for my lunch.
Yeserday night, something pissed me off. In additon, today's inferiority complex made me day worse. Miraculously, my worries and troubles simply fade away upon the sight of Sweet. I felt so happy I called Sweet the moment I left the boring lecture theatre and walked eagerly, waiting and praying hard for the bus to come faster so that I could meet Sweet.
Went to Causeway Point to have our identical E900's screen protection film to be done. There was an awkening moment whereby it couldn't be more obvious that Sweet and I are unmistakably love-birds, judging from our identical E900 hp, hp strapes and voodoo dolls attached. *blushes*
It wasn't long after a loving time spent at Bishan before we dined at Toa Payoh's Pasta Mania. I must apologise.. to Sweet. Cause every now and then I ordered my usual Ice Lemon Tea which Sweet doesn't like drinking due to the high sugar content. Sincere apologies Sweet.
:: Thank you Sweet.. for all your console and cheering me up. Not forgetting that treat today. Thank you very much.
Tomorrow's half day at school again. And SEEING Sweet again. Yippee! Tomorrow will definately be BETTER!
Today was a rather short but kinda miserable day at school. Although early in the morning I was super early to arrive at SIM around 0930hrs. 15 mins earlier than i was supposed to meet Zhen Ze. This was due to my very first time making my trip to SIM on bus 74. I left house before 9am. By 0902 am i was already at the neighbourhood busstop. It didn't start to panick me until the time was 0905am and bus 74 was no where to be seen. Plus the long jam of traffic along Marymount road which bus 74 was travelling along, it only made me more worry that I was going to arrive late at school. Thank goodness! The bus came sooner. I was so relieved lah when i finally board the bus. Well.. one worry off came another one dropping on my shoulders. THERE WAS NO SEAT when i climbed up the upper deck of the bus even the "seats available" indicator shown 55 available. OMG, what the... !!! Had no choice but to turn around and walked down the steps and settle for the lower deck. Fortunate enough, I managed to find a seat somewhere in between two gentlemen at the back of the bus. Hmmm... what a eventful morning to start the 2nd school day. Of course, I must not forget to credit the voodoo doll which Sweet and me have. Somehow must be the lucky charm brought by the "traveller" voodoo (plus a pinch of love power) which made everything (the bus coming in time, seat available)!
=P
Oki.. let's talk about what happened in school. Only had marketing lecture in the morning (damn shiok because it's half-day in school. However, prone side was I travelled so far and spent on transportation just to be in school for short duration of 3hrs.) Thankfully, it's greatly compensated because i get to see and spend time with Sweet after school! hmm...
(tian mi mi~)
Well.. better not digress.. Oh.. as i was saying.. Today, unknowingly, I couldn't comprehen whatever Dr Con, the lecturer (who came late for lecture by the way) was teaching. Sigh. Next bad experience was my inferiority complex set in today. Depressing me a gret deal. You see, i had a minor group discussion (thankfully we had a group of 6 by the end of lecture yesterday). However, when the others asked for my opinion, I was tongue-tight. Obviously I was worried that the group may think that I'm not participating. After lecture resumed, everything got worst! Dr Con talked about how to deal with people who the group feels is not contributing to the project. Omg. That moment, I got so lost and shakened. Will my group members think badly of me.. that my inability to express myself verbally, might be misunderstood as my unwillingness to contribute or participate? Then again.. other bothering troubles start to flood my lost mind. It was about what Sweet mentioned about in blog.
Yesterday, I got worried and lost after having read Sweet's blog. In the blog, it was mentioned that Sweet was finding it very difficult to know about my thoughts and feelings. We had a solemn chat over the phone, discussing about the challenges (which i know it's all about me) which both of us are facing. I really fear losing Sweet. Whether Sweet will find other better bf than me and dump me there-after. I fear Sweet might get tired. Tired of trying to know me inside-out. Fear that Sweet will leave me due to reasons like "we can't click", "no common shared interest".. Fear that one day, Sweet might just give up on me. All these pessimistic and demoralising inferiorities rushed continunously and unstoppably into my head, as though currents were gushing out upon the triggered opening of dam-gates.
It didn't take very long before I start mis-reading Sweet's message. I got over-sensitive over simply phrase like "I don't want to disturb you anymore". Then came the depressing trama which was too overwhelming which landed me to break down and cry. I just couldn't help it. My heart was overflowing with tears... to a degree near how i felt when I lost the one I loved to God.
Apparantly, we cleared our doubts and insecurity on our perspective of opposites' love for each other. Today, Sweet and I spent a light outing together. Had lunch at the other Bukit Timah East neighbourhood coffee-shop (the "rivalling" coffee shop). It was so sweet that Sweet paid for my lunch.
Yeserday night, something pissed me off. In additon, today's inferiority complex made me day worse. Miraculously, my worries and troubles simply fade away upon the sight of Sweet. I felt so happy I called Sweet the moment I left the boring lecture theatre and walked eagerly, waiting and praying hard for the bus to come faster so that I could meet Sweet.
Went to Causeway Point to have our identical E900's screen protection film to be done. There was an awkening moment whereby it couldn't be more obvious that Sweet and I are unmistakably love-birds, judging from our identical E900 hp, hp strapes and voodoo dolls attached. *blushes*
It wasn't long after a loving time spent at Bishan before we dined at Toa Payoh's Pasta Mania. I must apologise.. to Sweet. Cause every now and then I ordered my usual Ice Lemon Tea which Sweet doesn't like drinking due to the high sugar content. Sincere apologies Sweet.
:: Thank you Sweet.. for all your console and cheering me up. Not forgetting that treat today. Thank you very much.
Tomorrow's half day at school again. And SEEING Sweet again. Yippee! Tomorrow will definately be BETTER!
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