Smoky day
"Which religion would you like to place yourself under?" asked the immigration officer calmly as she gazed up from her computer screen, after inputting my particulars in the I/C application form.
It took me awhile before I replied "free-thinker" before looking at Mummy with an expression that pleaded for her acknowledgment. However, it wasn't my religion that got me concerned. Ironically, it was the possibility of inserting my Christian name into the I/C that did.
Apparently, the incomplete personal sense of belonging to any existing religion didn't affect me. This was foreign since I was brought up in a family who was mainly Taoist and attended neighborhood schools which were non-Catholic nor Methodist. Public holidays provide a fair chance of reminding me of religious traditions, but it didn't leave a deep relation to the significance of religion since we were too happy, freed from one day or school/work.
My affinity with religion identity didn't arrive until my interaction with friends and dates who were Buddhist, Christian and Catholics. Well, there was this JC girl I used to like who joined SOKA. Wait a minute, before you jump into a judgemental conclusion that I'm being blinded with love and doing impulsive things for love, read what follows. I guess it was the thirst to understand about the history and novice traditions of such religions that I opened myself to accepting and experiencing the "colourful" practices such as services, chat about the divergent believes, and importantly, the eye-opening religious perspective.
This quest to quench religion-comprehension, however, didn't get me soaking my feet in the deep pool of commitment. No, it's not the lack of passion and excitement, rather I didn't wish to restrict myself from the multi-religious exposure I was enjoying. Commitment is an extremely private and considerable life-decision and often irrevocable once engaged with. Hence, the exercise of caution before having it permanently-reside in my life. That being said, it doesn't mean religion represent something dispensable.
Nobody told me why we place so much faith in religion or what's the importance of having religion. All young Jason knew was be good, do good because there's a mighty power named God, who witness us from above. Movies and cartoons have installed the image of heaven, located somewhere indeterminately high up in the sky, despite it appears superficial when compared to our knowledge of stratosphere and planetary system from primary school sciences. If we didn't behave, we'd land up in hell (an utterly unpleasant, fearsome place filled with nothing but torture) other than heaven (a dreamy place of eternal happiness and blessing). Later, I came to know about Adam and Eve, the procreation of Earth which could only be read about through religion.
When we talk about heaven and hell, images of good and evil are inevitably conjured to our mind. This provides a basis often for us to find ourselves falling back on religion for spiritual support and defense against evil. The existence of religion's no longer encompass an possessive teaching to book-keep personal good conduct but also praying to have our thoughts, wishes communicated to the guy above to feel security, comfort and ease from predicaments.
Furthermore, growing up with religion clarified the ambiguity of the multiple addressing and identities of God proclaimed by countless religious bodies.
Call me a late-bloomer, yet I couldn't care less. Did I forget to mention what I adore most about religion? It were the fascinating background stories of religious figures, not just the trinity (being the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit) but also those of deities (chinese and malays). My ex and attendance at various service sermons enlighten and delighted me with the history and stories from the Bible. The magical part? Never fails me finding these overwhelmingly amazed, the analogies which shred light on meanings to life. Religions don't only provide us with a sense of security and belonging/ monitor our conduct but also purpose of life. The word's most beautiful and sweet flower being the Rose; the profitable metal in the world reowned by Gold. The most touching religious statement I ever heard from a hard-to-come-by acquaintance had to be "God lives in our hearts". It derived me a moment of "grace" literally. To feel grace is to accept something. And I suppose this could provide a logical explanation to why people accept religion in their hearts.
In my opinion, religion acceptance is definitely a matter of choice. It shouldn't be imposed upon. In recent, I wouldn't deny certain conservative families still observe a common religion within their members, the rest, especially the young generations almost find themselves the liberty when adopting own religious views. There's nothing wrong with promoting religion, spare the sharing-enthusiast aside, I simply don't enjoy being questioned or interrogated why we choose to be free-thinkers or for others, atheist.
Pretty unpleasant experiences with people preaching obsessively on how inevitable we'd be condemned to hell if we never believe in God. Or only through certain religion would it guarantee your pave to a peaceful afterlife and others can't. Equally, I find it tough to tolerate views of others condemning religious views.
Last night, I was traveling to Clarke Quay. For no reason, this uncle engaged me into talking (no idea why strangers tend to initiate chatting with me) but anyway, he discovered I was a free-thinker and started bombarding about how the Bible is a must-read guide and ticket to heaven. It doesn't matter how many good deeds you've performed. He didn't question nor allow me to explain why I'm a free-thinker and assumed I have never read the Bible, ignorant of all religious views and also queried me on how I'd be answerable to God at the heavenly gates if I never read the Bible. It was a 20 minutes one-way conversation, it didn't "listen" like a discussion at all. Sigh, it was futile to even try to intervene, all I did was smile and listened.
Religion is a beauty. It is to be shared, discussed and influenced rather than allegedly-forced or manipulatively imposed upon believers, non-believers alike. With all due respect, I doubt any God within the universe would want a group of believers who came forth but didn't believe at all or with resentment.
What is a saint with following rows of prisoners, all bounded in chains whose hands that were bolted with raw stones and blank scripts? What is a king with trust subjects of opposing views as vast as seas and the wrath chaos of wind?
