Under light in shadows
Everytime I go for jogging recently, I feel disappointed and abit frustrated because I discover that I'm losing my stamina.
Why? I believe it's because my body is gainning mass due to my obligation to eat as Sweet wants me to. Sweet thinks I should eat regularly to grow and substain my lifestyle. However, I beg to be different at times. Especially, or should i say only when I go jogging and be conscious about my inability to perform.
I start to ponder am I really prepared to give up what I've worked so hard to achieve in the past 6 years.
However, what's undeniable is that I know my body. I've always worked in an unique way. And I know I will never gain back my running ability if I continue to indulge myself to my current diet.
Sweet suggest that it's all pyschological. Although I understand this however that thinking only works for the norm. I'm different. I'm able to run even if i didn't eat a day..or when i'm shagged after guard-duty the day before.
Sweet suggests the "to have energy, you must eat" theory. I feel this kinda diet is for people who want to gain muscle. You eat, because you need the carbohydrates and protein to gain mass so that your muscles can develop out of those mass. So that the muscle grows bigger overtime. Yes, my current diet will definately benefit if I'm working out.
However, running is another thing. No doubt it needs energy but it's one which requires way less the amount of carbohydrates you need for body-building. My body has experience superior condition before. And it's true, my past diet works best for me.
Sigh. Here's the dilemma. Presently, I think and i'm very sure, relationship is the more important and prioritised in my life. Life stages changes. I supposed my running talent is over and it's time to work on my relationship and adopt a less athletic kinda life.
But... come to think about it..it's my fault.. perhaps it's because i'm getting lazy..and eating alot, growing fat.. What a foolish person I am..
*bang my head against the wall*
Friday, August 18, 2006
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