Resolutions
What disappoints me most is when people misinterpret you, and others who conceal themselves (like they have this self-induced imaginery curtain veil over their agendas and desires) right from the beginning. Yes, it is understandable to be polite and "protected" when we first get to know each other, as we are uncertained about how others would react to our true self and who are really are. I never had this problem. Well, not presently. I am comfortable with others. Except when I'm tired, I get alittle quiet and just scrap through the conversation coz it is pretty draining for me when I have to amplify my voice and give thoughts to whatever we are discussing.
L was alright but nowhere close enough. The best part of human interraction is building relationships and communications. Not commitments. Just accustoms. Imagine you've been using a new pencil leads and it keeps breaking and giving you problems from making use of it. It's.. feels like you just wanna struggle somebody's neck.
Hendri and I discussed this in our conversations while we were dining at my favourite restaurant. And considered my span with Clara, LW, Mohan, Qing, James, I guess I've developed to become a friend who's cares and behave genuinely a friend and even more. I don't mind paying for your dinner coz I don't think friends should be calculative over such trivial matters. When you feel scared at movies, you could cling to me. I go the extra mile to make surprises for you and well, even provide my shoulders and hugs to console you when you feel down. No, not promoting the deeds I've done.
Take Clara for example. When I'm out, sometimes I come across stuff she likes and just drop it into my tray without much validation. For her recent birthday, I bought this book which she exclaimed her liking while we were browsing at PageOne. It teaches you paper craft, making boxes and other containers for gifts. To have it wrapped in plain wrapper just insincere enough. I got tired of boxes and ribbons. So I spent over 3 hours, making a customised box-cover with engraved design (see below). It was one of the best birthday present I ever gave. The gift + packaging + sincerity + meaning. Full-scored perfection I'd say.
What Hendri asked was what's the difference between friends and life partners. I told him without hesitation, friends are everything the same, there is love and obligations, minus initimate physical actions, more affections and he/she's as important as my family. I wouldn't mind taking bullets for my partner man. And someone I won't get sick waking up to see, that very moment I open my eyes. A partner would be someone I find myself confiding too. Also, never in my life would I have to worry that he/she wouldn't stand up to defend or hold me when I am in trouble or distress.
If better, we could move in together. So we could complain about everything that happened at work, and love the things we hate about each other. That's true couples I guess.
Another difference between friends and lovers would be underlied by the time we spent together. Preferably, the time with lovers should be lengthier compared with friends. However, this is impractical coz friendships seemed to have lasted long majorly because it was built way before any love relationship (or considering in my case) was established.
*Takes a deep breath and exhales* Like myself would say and tell others, love comes at moments least expected. I am not looking for love. On the contrary, more hard-foundation friendships. And see where it goes.
