De one with Need To

You I need to grow up and
I really need to fuc*king get a grip of myself...

De one with After Awhile

Rain is over

(In courtesy of A Response to the Everyday @ Tumblr blog)

Can't help but ponder, what the big problem with Fann Wong getting H1N1? I mean months ago, there were millions of people who contracted that. Haha. Cheap thrills of celebrity-hoohaa.

Just watched a guy on Channel 8, proposing to his girlfriend. The set up at the beach was good; the safety ring buoy idea was great; the lilies were alluring; the content of the message in a capsule was heart-moving.. but "maybe sometimes love just ain't enough".. so sad...

Omg, massacre of about 46 humans at the southern island of Mindanao, believed to be the work powerful Ampatuan family made it imperative for a state of emergency. Man... militant powers. Weapons of destruction. Corruption sucks.

Ahhh.. ain't it amazing what watching the news can do? The H1N1 vaccine are causing dire side effects.. these include neusea, body aches and swelling. See lar... rush for it for what... I recalled my uncle and aunt encouraging us to have ourselves vaccinated during the time it was out. I wonder if the vaccine is a cure / curse?

Aiyo.. I am watching this "Tuesday Report" which features this guy, Wai Choy. Therein mentions a story about his grandmother and him. There was particularly this part of the story which mentioned about how much the granny loves him, that she didn't wish him to leave for overseas studies. She cut his beloved (fashion) jeans, tricked him into submitting the acceptance letter from an Art's college which the ambitious grandson applied for, torn the letter to shreds so that he'd never leave. To the young, perhaps we'd be very pissed why this grandma like that, so conservative and obstructing dreams and horizons to bright futures. To our parents, they'd understand why the old lady did so.. not implying I'm old but I couldn't agree more... the granny's love for the grandson was so great, she didn't want her loved one to leave her. Perhaps the grandson was all she had. Perhaps. But that genuine love, it is beyond any words to describe.

Everybody must be wondering where have I disappeared to. Well, I've been busy with work till late at night so I could finish what would take two working days to complete. Perhaps my efforts to keep myself busy so I wouldn't feel bored. Perhaps these are acts out of guilt for taking so much leave and medical leave during the year. Regardless, I am contented, living life to the fullest.

A little time away, a bit of b*tching, abit of sweetness-recap, a bit of empathy, a bit of heart-warming, abit of explaining. Bits and pieces after awhile. I suppose these reads superior than long-windeded stories.

De one with Untitled

Moody

"You cannot write or read lost... you can only feel lost." Yes, lost is what I am feeling. Else, there seems to be nothing that I can feel anymore.

James told me I shouldn't think too much. I think everybody else would advise the exact and same. True, everything would brighten up, I'm just effusing this aura of negativity which I could not help but be immersed in.

Looks like it is the end, but it's not. The question is.. should I or should I not.

De one with On the Loose

Raining

Chin Yu advised me during my exam-preparation period, should I ever feel bored or stressed, I could go out strolling or indulged my time window shopping. Well, I hesitate everytime I consent to taking up the suggestion. The question is.. why right?

No better illustration than today. I came home with 6 items. There is wine, hair conditioner, facial products, shower gel and tarts from Food Paradise.

 Just look at that? It's as though it is "anime-ted food"

Omg. I should control this shopping freak in me man...

De one with Post Exam Weekends

Standard but not so standard

Like I said, "before examinations, the mind was buzzling with tonnes of stuff to execute. after examinations, every neuro-space is a ghost town". To make things worse as though it hadn't been worst enough, those who were close to me seemed to have flown away. James left for KL, Clara followed suit to some place in M'sia. LW's in Holland. I was contemplating, what the... should have informed me earlier, I'd have pretty much wanted to do the same. Nevermind, sigh.. I shall see to my travel plans during next year.

I attended Ivan's grandpa's wake, you know, friends' support with attendence - the least I could do. Plus giving a token for financial relieve. Trust me, funeral's charges are high these days. I didn't know what to feel. Just empathesise. Deep inside, there was a part of me totally familiar with what's going on. I knew how it felt to lose a loved one, how late nights were spent on folding incense paper, how we should entertain and be grateful to those who came, when to submit our condolence. But I was humble, pretending like I'm a newbie and just sitting there, asking Ivan how is his family and himself coping. I didn't stay too long, because I was all alone there. Jielong didn't turn up at our agreed time. And I left to Bugis.

Tea with Hendri was the nicest thing that happened during the weekend. Though he was a little tired but I appreciated and enjoyed chatting with him. I had my favourite Perfect Match latte from TeaDot. The sweet aroma of vanilla, sugar and tea, the adjustingly right air-condition temperature, the cosy velvet-covered chair, the warm lights, Olivia singing "Favourite things" and light-listening songs. I told Hendri if it was drizzling outside, it would have been perfect.

Well, went to Orchard, and something that never happened, actually event itself. Saturday night crowd, it depresses me. I never felt this when I was with Clara, James or anybody. Just tonight, it's so depressing.

I knew I had to get outta house on a Sunday. Was supposed to head back to work but I guess I just wanted another day off. Of course, this would mean I'll have all the time to be emo for now and afterward, I'll be working my a** off for coming week.

Woke up from my nap, then I showered, replied some messages and texts before I got flowers for my Mummy and Jimson. No white roses and lavenders. Got lilies with baby's breath. But nonetheless, white. I enjoyed private time. Visits to the memorium was one of the times I could be myself, unscrew the "cap" and pour out the gushing feelings in my heart to my confidente. And I just sat there, sipping on my vendored green tea, immerse myself in tranquility as I sob till I grew tired from an emptied heart.

Anyway, the taxi driver drove me around the expressways on my way to the memorial. He missed all the necessary turns, overshot exits. It took me almost 20 minutes to arrive at the destination when it should have taken 10 minutes. I sighed, I was supposed to lose my temper. But I didn't. So what if I did. It won't fetch me there earlier. But the driver was repentant, he discounted $5 off the metered-fare. I was thankful. 

And that was how an uneventful weekend went, following my exams.  :]

De one with Movie on Friday

Humid

I thought she was gonna be a vampire, one that's running loose around campus. *slap forehead* Turns out she actually a possessed evil plainly because she was a non-virgin sacrifice for some sick, fame-obssessed group of guys who called themselves "Low Shoulder".

Yes, if you've watched the show, you'd have guessed which movie am I referring to. Anyway, the actress, she's pretty hot. And that coming from me, she's truly gotta be. But there was this very intelligent scene during the movie when she was kissing her best friend. I believe such scenes is rich and powerful. Without background music, it is "action-packed" enough to catch one's undivided attention. The reason? As much as I'm curious of the definite term for description, personally.. I think everybody's holding their breath as they watch the forbidden kiss. A moment our moral are pushed to the fence, the saturation point between right and wrong. I was thinking "goodness, are they going to do it".. "maybe yes..maybe not.." and yes the lips confirmed my doubt.

Francis and I came to a common opinion that the show was just alright. He said there were no hunks. I thought Chad had a gorgeous smile. But the actress was hot lar...

Before our movie, everywhere was super crowded. Man, why didn't the economic crisis hit them for a few hours when I am out to dine? We tried the Japanese restaurant at Cathay's ground level, Manhattan Fish-market at Plaza Sg, glasshouse Fish & Co., all super duper packed with queues (gurh, I hate queues). Francis suggest we had Sakae @ Parkmall. And even that kept us waiting for almost half an hour for available seats. Then the food came slow. For a moment, I was a tiny-weeny regretful about being their member.

Well, Friday.. work resumes. Big crowds. Everybody's going overseas. 

De one with Shouldn't

Counter-acting

"You shouldn't" was what my twin have been telling me. And he's right, I shouldn't be like this when there are better options and courses of action. And I'm eternally grateful to my friends who stood by me. It certainly brought us to a new level of friendship.

I shouldn't be. Not batting an eye when I say it.

De one with Taking Off

Jason

To those who understand me.... they would know my presence means a great deal. Not because I'm funny, witty, charming or spontaneous but because of who I truly am. I'm a Leo. I enjoy and strive being in center-stage, under the gleaming limelight of attention within my peers.

But there are times, unexpected occurs. During these moments when I'm troubled, I'll just run away and make myself scarce. Regardless of whether I had the immediate solution or not, I knew I had to be alone. It is just the same during the worst situation, I never shed a tear until I was alone.

What happened 7 years ago has resurfaced again. Guys, I'm sorry that I'm doing this again.

De one with Understanding When

Simple as it is..

I was just telling my closest friend the reasons for my invitations.

When I ask for chill-outs and shopping, I am troubled.

When I ask for coffee, I just wanna chat.

When I ask for dinner, I need accompany.

There.. looks like I'm not that complicated afterall.