SIMPLY READ, INDULGE AND HEARD WITH WORDS

Friday, September 24, 2010

De one with Comprehension

Eyebrows eased

Two weeks of proximity-zero. Two years of tilly-lagging. After five years of distance, everything seemed to have remained the same. I'd guess this is the underlying meaning of a leopard never can't change its spots. What seemed lost didn't cause my heart to pinch with self-sympathy but filled sudden comprehension of why I've lost, as though to make vacuum a space for the endless headaches which follows. The only loser in this "game of fate" lies with whom he thinks he had lost and nothing to gain. I've lost and lost completely. Oh dear..

Thursday, September 23, 2010

De one with Home Coming

Peaceful

"This is home, truly. Where I know I must be. Where my dreams wait for me; where the river always flows. This is home, surely. As my senses tell me. This is where, I won't be alone. For this is where I know it's home." 

- "Home", Dick Lee.

Lyrics are beautiful with meanings that are close to my heart. The first three words are like appetizers, never fails to entice you to continue the subsequent tune.

Picture does paint a thousand words. Hmm, I bet a song conveys even more. What a relieve  to be home after a day's hardwork.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

De one with Gleefulness!

Semester finale

There is really a word call "Gleefulness" in the dictionary. Don't believe? Look this word up!

The FreeDictionary.com defines "Gleefulness" as (a noun) meaning joyfulness. What's there to be gleeful about? I've finally completed Test 2 of the hideous advanced financial accounting! Except the part on segment reporting which I included something which was unnecessary (think that might cause me a couple of marks), the rest are pretty alright *sweeps my shoulders*.

With courtesy of corbisimage.com
For once, I feel fluttery after coming out from the exam hall. Perhaps it's the mark of the end to my tertiary education! I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I'd pass and graduate! Graduate!

Saturday, September 18, 2010

De one with Fates of the Same Face

Noises

Every face has two sides. Not just physically visible, what lies beneath the facial skin are two personalities which make a face smile or frown.

Breathe with me.. inhale... and exhale. Now, if you would lend me a listening ear for I am going to say what has been troubling me.

It's amazing how I can desert myself to somewhere nobody knows. I've been keeping secrets, filled with nothing but pure unhappiness, worries and all the other feelings there are for a loser to contain. Truth is.. I'm not successful and I feel messed up. Unknowing, all in me doubt if I knew where my next step would be, what to expect next, who shall I be with, when to execute my decisions precisely and how the situation would be turned towards the director I'm taking. 

Let me project an image of my life... it is like four-scales. The one described above has sunk. The surface of the scale is centimeters away from the ground strewn with a million broken glass. Like a chandelier mold to have its handles give light in a downward manner, all four scales seems to be in downward position. 

Trust me when I confess I could sit right on top of a prism in the air, watching countless visitors traveling forth and away. Those who noticed, took photos of me. Some clasped their hands and prayed. Some didn't notice or couldn't be bothered. Some suggested it's better calling the police. All and all I didn't care. I choose not to because I was just breathing some air. And nobody gave me a rest.

Dates, partners, lovers and scandals have no varying meaning to be. All is like paints that wouldn't stain the white heart-shaped paper. No Eros' arrows could scar a mark. No diamonds or persuasions could even cut.

All for one and one for all. The four scales agreed that all shall fall. Regardless of gender, relationship nor blood, threads are tangled and better left intact.

I can no longer do this anymore I told myself. My wings are drenched and take flight no more. For now till when I could not tell. Promises land with nothing felt.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

De one with All in Bucks

Coffee on discussion

The very first time I smelled the aroma of coffee seeds was when I attended kindergarden. After every half-a-day of "disciplined and confinement" with other kids in an ever-strange place, my granny would fetch me to this coffee-seller to replenish coffee powder but most importantly, give me a daily vitagen treat. Perhaps to compensate for the day's "torture". We were easily contended back then.

Despite "friending" with the familiar scent, I never knew how the source taste like. It wasn't until I was less than 10 year of age came my "first sip" experience. Back then, my late-mother and I were at Shenton Way. While waiting for my Dad with his awfully long dental appointment, we were having our breakfast at Burger-king in the vicinity. Apart from vivid memories of  the croissant and ham breakfast, a killer-back-for-more, I fragmentarily remembered Mummy actually let me tasted her coffee. You know, I was as inquisitive as other kids of my age were. So I was up for trying anything that came to my mouth. Apparently, the taste turned out too strong and awfully repulsive to my sweet taste-buds. So... I never had any then after. 

It was during a trip in Australia that I was attracted to the milky and vanilla-rich Victorian cappuccino (besides discovering my liking for Yellow-tea-leaves, in the same trip). Turns out, coffee ain't that dis-tasteful as it was a couple of childhood years ago. Unfortunately, the revisit to this internationally most-drunk beverage didn't occur moments after I returned to Singapore. Ah ma makes coffee every morning, as early as 5-6am. She still does even today and it will forever be poured into this green-metallic pot (which existed since decades or centuries ago). Sadly, never was I anywhere near that utensil.

Mohan. Yes, Mohan was the significant person who introduced me to coffee world and had me returning for good. Turned me into a subsidiary convict. Why only a subsidiary? Because the "main" convict refers to those who drink coffee everyday or wouldn't survive a day without coffee (like my Mummy, Aunt and some of my current colleagues). To be exact, ice blended coffee.

In one of my cab encounters, there was this particular cabby who chatted heartily with me while delivering me to Junction 8 after work. He discussed about the elusive evolution of coffee today and how this slight re-packaging of coffee appealed to younger generations (like me), without losing natural patrons (like him) and in turn, benefit the coffee-retailers' pockets. This humble grown-up was keen to learn how coffee today tasted or how were they made that "spelled" us into consuming them for hours at coffee-places. I shared with him my opinions:

1. It's coffee blended with chocolate (mocha) and ice. Part of what makes it so appealing was it's a beverage that cools and calms us given our typical tropical weather. Not only that, it keeps us awake to sustain our energy to stay at the same place and chat like there's no tomorrow. 

2. The vast variety and new mix with health-implicated ingredients, such as green tea, nuts, satisfy our appetite and demands for fresh taste and innovations.

3. Pocket money for us have increased drastically through generations. More kids find it affordable to try whatever's marketed to them. The erosion of conservatism, age where kids are restricted, financially confined have opened up most, if not, all access possibilities.

10 years ago, it's "Mommy, Daddy, can I buy this? My friends have it. I sampled it."

6 years ago, either "Mommy" or "Daddy, I am going to get this.."

At present, it seemed the child has had what he/she wanted without going through their parents. Insignificant stuff such as coffee? Are you kidding me you need parental permission?

Not doubt my first coffee was given by my mother. Honestly speaking, my 2nd coffee wasn't bought independently. My knowledge of the existence of ice-blended coffee was imparted from my cousin, Jasmine who bought it specially from a Coffeebean corner located at the old MPH bookstore, Suntec Ciy. It was a couple of years ago, what turned out to be a medium for nights of conversation became a beverage I thought of for leisure.

I later discovered Coffee bean coffee were too sweet. Age advised me sweetness was alittle "oldskool" and repulsive. It didn't take very long for my preference to change to getting coffee from the classic Starbucks. This. Was where memories were made.

Ever since my (pure) ko-ffee "affairs" with Mr Gopalan, Starbucks accompanied me through times of joy, peace, woes and loneliness.

(Joy): Peppermint was my favourite. Everytime they have these in stores during Christmas, I'm all hippertly hopperty up. Drinking the chilly, mint taste, I could felt the coldness of winter in my digestive system and hear the "festive jingles" tinkling in my mind.

(Peace): Coffee calms my nerves whenever I get worked up over completing/rushing assignment. In times when like this, a hot Caramel-Macchiato would perk my productivity to its maximum. Have me drink this and you might just regret talking to me. I'd probably think and talk very rapidly.

Else, on light rainy days, you might just find me at Starbucks, sipping the same hot CM receipe with a book in my hands.

(Woes): Bitter and sweet. Bottoms up to poetry alive:

"Love is a smoke made with the fume of sighs
Being purged, a fire sparkling in lover's eyes
Being vexed, a sea nourished with lover's tears.
What is it else? A madness most discreet,
A choking gall and a preserving sweet
." - Romeo, Romeo and Juliet, Act 1 Scene 1.

You might find this familiar from my previous blog. But reality, it's true.

"I mean no other, no other but you" Caramel Frappucino, the drink to stick thru' thick and thin.

(Loneliness): None beats the cold and redness of the Ice Shaken Lemon Passion Tea. If "Passion" 's unavailable, I could have "Zen". Double the loneliness, double the choice of tea. Why tea? Tea is blend by nature. Being lonely is like shedding colors of life. The exact mirror of dilution of tea colors as it infuse with the melting skin-piercing ice.

If you can't have wine, let us have coffee. What more, it's cost less expensive! *Punches* *Kicks* and enough! Enough!.

Alot might agree with me, it's heavenly to "nua" ("laze and be restless" in hokkien) to be have coffee chats. In fact, I love it. Partly it's a healthier substitute to drinking to pour my misery and bit*hiness out. Without feeling the messy aftermath, hangovers or regretting anything because I'm sober. Partly owing to the fact I fare better with one-to-one conversation in a casual setting where we're only an arms-length diameter coffee table apart. People around are engaged in their perimeters of chat. It's alright to chat, get excited, or not chat at all. Comfortably be yourself, non-guarded and engage in both informal or formal conversations.

Throughout time, I've lost and gained alot. Well, it seems my blessings are like melted ice. Not just that, pressures from work and academic have sprinkled salt on the melting ice. When will the next session be schedule?

Sunday, September 05, 2010

De one with Friendship Cracks

Hands to the heart

I used to have those floats in shapes of a swan, crocodile or hippo which need to be air-inflated.  It's a fun-big thing that never fail to put a smile on my face. Especially whenever I get to ride on it. However, there was  big problem. Once a hole is punctuated on its surface, no matter how you patch it up, it's unable to retain air as perfect as before.

To be honest, I can't help feeling useless. My friends are sad yet nothing I am doing seemed to yield results. To simply hack-care and leave things be only result in drastic measures like having my heart's better off taken out and thrown into the cliffs of Grand Canyon to the vultures. Yes, you can go on blabbering, raise 1,001 reasons and rattling on "nobody needs your comfort, listening ear", "Why do you care", "Your shoulders are too small to cry on", "Why impose yourself on others who didn't request".

Truth is, any reasonable man would have feel likewise, or have we became unbearably unfeeling?

Wednesday, September 01, 2010

De one with Recurring Pitstops

Unchained

Like an unchained melody, work (needless to say) and school assignments comings in choppy waves one after another. It's scary at times when I slump back into the chair, semi-mentally "impaired", to realise how rapid everything around me is coming forth and getting done with. Then the aftermath of regret just have to find itself creeping into the little pauses I take, eventually leading me to feel alittle disappointed with myself for doing only so much within the capacity and energy available.

Only yesterday was I done with AFA test 1. Right up, there's a consolidated cash flow assignment due next saturday. On exactly 8 days later, it's AFA test 2. Tonight, the comprehension to why I am repeating this module - flashpast without learning anything. It's like moving so fast, it feels as if you're not visually seen moving at all.

I stopped reading. My jogging routine got stood up too. Weekday's consist of waking up late, rush to work and by the time I reach home after a day at work or campus, it's already 10-11ish and nothing except shower followed by sleep. Then the next rush 24 rush hours starts. It's stifling. Blogging now? ha! it's a fraction of my deprived sleep.

And a typical weekend? It's basically weekend date with "sleep". The best is to be able to jog at least once. For now, sigh, it's only revision and rushing to meet deadlines! Arrgghh!