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Friday, February 23, 2007

De one with Fragments of Family

Heart at contrary to the sunny weather

What's in a family? To many, it's related to home, related to our hearts and in which we find our loved ones. Not just anyone.. it's people who care and mean alot to us.. people we cohabit with at least 10 years of our lives.

However, it's not always as ideal as we impression-ed the word "family" to be. In this pragmatic world, there are alot of families which are far from our common and general perspective. And whatever differs from the norm, it's deemed as abnormal. Therefore, what makes of those which are not in convergence with Family?

That's why broken-families exists. Of course, all of us know what broken-families means. Hence, I'm not going to elaborate what type of broken-families are there. Instead, consideration should be dedicated to why broken-families surface and how directly-involved parties feels. But then how am I going to blog about this? Here are from personal experiences...

What's the difference between "single parent family" and "family with single parent"?

I remember telling my Honey on our first meeting that I was from a single parent family. Honey clarified and explained that only divorce cases caused single parent family. That's a form of broken family. In my case, it'd more appropriated and unambiguous to say I came from a family with single parent.

For those who didn't know, my mummy passed away when I was 19 and serving NS then. She passed away due to heart failure after jogging. Unfortunately, didn't get to see her for a last time as I was in Thailand, fighting assessments for my battalion.

What makes mine a broken-family then?

Well... simply because my existing family is incomplete. Presently, things have changed alot. My daddy's a really selfish person. He cares little for us, chucking my down-sydrome younger brother, Jimson, to my big aunt. Both my brother and I are currently putting up at my petty uncle's house as our granny are there.

As expected, living in other's house, you'll feel bounded by their house rules or "see their attitudes". Good or bad, you have to take it. I was never in good terms with my uncle. He's another selfish, old-fashioned old man who likes to nag for the sake of scolding others.

Due to this, I feel rebellious. Until recently, I've thought of shifting out. Otherwise, die...

I feel unhappy. Because it feels as if my daddy and my uncle are at wars with each other. Not a direct war. It's an indirect war, conspiring-ly using me as a medium. I hate this feeling. Until today, after hearing another round of shu ku (complaining or distress-pouring in Mandarin) from my big-aunt, it occurred to me that my uncle's making my stay miserable, intended to get back at my daddy for making my original place a mess (that's why the petty uncle think it's unfair to have my brother and I, living at his house when we are supposed to live at our original home)

Sigh... I hate this. I supposed uncle used the same unspoken torture on my mummy. That's why she developed stress and signs of hypertension (which inevitably, caused her to strive in jogging, to curb her unfavourable health). Sigh.

And the money issued... sigh. I hate all these. Why should wealth or financial issues be calculated so clearly in a family. Don't you agree, I came from a broken-family?

Fragments of family scarring my heart, forcing me bleed intangibly with blood non-visible.
Even so, the battered and frail heart burns with raging agony.. smeared with intense loss and confusion like salt sprinkled on fresh wounds. O.. the lamentable cold chill breeze of fear, exterminating my hard-earned joy, leaving me with nothing but absolute loneliness as I remain imprisoned in a "broken-family".

Hope the above covered the part of how directly-involved parties feels.

Before concluding, I'd like to include other images... abuses cases... abandon... home-leaving...
When will the rainbow appear in the lives of those hurt... when...

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