De one with Planning

Brain-activated

I'm contemplating what to do after my exams! Man. Not that I'm complaining about my life. I have a happy life. Just.. need more excitement in it!

During our last coffee chat, Mohan confessed he had to leave for London. No, not temporary. Five months. Puff! There goes my best shopping buddy. Clara would most likely be working. Max.. Haha, no use counting. Everybody's away!

Which is why I should find something or some place to go too! Wahaha, I think a getaway this coming CNY.. or backpack? What do you think? Gonna make my second time travelling solo even better! Haven't really decided on but hey, the beach's what I have in mind.

Late afternoon, I was watching this fashion gala. Something associated with a charity event in support of the founding by the Princess of Wales. They had live bands, "musicians" they call it and models cat-walk on the V shaped stage. The stage display was spectacular: Backdrop screens, in the middle was a heart-awowing, ernomous chandelier-like curtain-raise. It was damn creative! Not forgetting the glamourous clothes they wear. And I though to myself, I've gotta be part of this. The question is how?

Given my height, I can't do modelling. I guess I'll be well-off attending galas. I don't like crowds. But I guess I'm very much addicted or attracted to attending functions. Coz, I love to be in my best attire, glamouring people.

Ok, let's not think too much. Back to studies now! Convincing myself I love accountancy. Weeeee!!!

De one with Nothing but Means so Much

Brighter, better

I don't know why but I came across this comic strip, found on NH's blog. Hope he wouldn't mind me posting the same material here?

(in courtesy of NH and universal press)

It's not wrong to get emotional at times. Of course, not excessively. People who have known and met me can justify I look nothing as pessimistic or depressed as I might sound in my messages and blog.

We get emotional because we feel lost when there's no one being there for us. For me, I guess. It explains thoroughly why I looked back into the past. It is primarily because by then, there were people who cared for me relentlessly, especially when I've had too much or too overwhelmed to be self-taken care of.

I believe this is what everyone on Earth has in common. The above comic strip illustrates it all.
:)

De one with Clarification

Coming clean

I had a real conversation with a friend. I feel it is imperative for me to clarify. I'm NOT an emo freak. Oh well.. Just living my life to the fullest.

Wtf. Anything wrong with that? Take it, no, you don't leave it.

De one with Jason V Dislikees (Part I)

DISCLAIMER: The following characters and topics are for personal leisure reading. Like the Noose, believing and exercising what I blog here is like believing we can survive without air. Any real-life resembler is purely coincidence.

*Commercial break*

Today I put down my studies until the night because I woke up late. Morning rush. Accompanied my aunt to fetch ah-ma whose discharged from the hospital. Rightfully, we ought to have left the hospital by 1pm. Turns out nearing 4 pm did the pharmacist came to dispatch and explained a shockingly bundle of medications and this stupid x-ray when we could have just read all the instructions printed on the appointment letter itself. I can read ok..

So, NEXT time you're at the hospital, it's advisable not to turn up too early. If there's a delay, press hard by enquiring from the nurses!

Brought to you be a "dun-mess-around with me" experienced associate.

--------

JLR (Jason "Lor" Rapport)
22108

Jason (plaintiff) V Dislikees (defendants)

Jog!
(everybody rise)

In pursuant of Jection 89 (1985), "Any legal person of whom, by any effect and/or impact of the five senses, results and/or affect and/or derived from, be it emotionally and/or psychologically, or are uncomfortable and/or any distress and/or unpleasant equivalent, to another, shall be liable for inclusion into Jason's charter of "people I dislike the most". The plaintiff hereby brings action upon the unpleasant, undesirable defendants.

After a tedious series of cross-examinations, fierce debates and heavy-showered media coverage, we have approached the finale session (well, maybe not the last, who knows.. else there wouldn't need be a Part 2 right) for the case(es).

Your Jonour. Jury of different personalities of Jason, Jason, Jason and Jason. I (J. Angelious Honorable) represent my client Jason, the plaintiff, to present the charges my client had raise against the accused behind these chocolate bars. Right here in Mr Lek's brain, left wing, compartment 752.

(dimming his 99,999,999 candela Halo)

Our first accused, Mr Backstabber is a secret-killer, an accomplice of Mr Politics (whom got off the trial due to insufficient evidence and limited spaces in "charter"). We are very well aware, during our trial, that the accused always strike from behind his victims. He has attained the ability of omnipresence, apart from our religion-believed God. Commits crimes in offices, schools and minds of brainless bimbos. His weapon is none other than knife-sharpened malicious lies and whistle (whistle-blowing)...

Objection your Jonour! The prosecuting lawyer is making a rhetorical closing against my client. (does the "Madarka" action with his fiery fork)

*knock knock knock* Please refrain yourself and once more I'm gonna have to ask you to put away your burning fork, it's gonna cause fire hazard around here, J.D Despicable. J.A Hon, do proceed with your closing?

Actually, your Jonour, Jury, I have nothing more to say about the accused. Mr Despicable just didn't let me complete my sentence with a fullstop.

(Before the Jonour even gesture for the defense lawyer to speak..)

(.. the defense lawyer intervened. Notice he couldn't pronounce "h" properly)
Thank you your Jonour! My dear Jury and your Jonour of course, as you've known, I'm J. Devilish Despicable and I represent my fellous clients, too many of them.. i mean those befind the chocolate bars. Wifout furter ado, I strongly disagree wif what the goodie goodie Glowing halo-head sprouts about my client.

Mr Backstabber is a "close"-cousin of Mr Straightforward who doesn't face any charges for fis outspokeness. Ya. I bet you to reconsider teir similarities. Bof are merely speaking the trutf. I mean, most of the time, when my client plays wif fis whistle, pee pee.. Witfout someone to whisteblow, do you think the charities frauds be breakaway into the light?

--------

Err.. If God have made worse things, one of them would have to be Mr Inconsiderate, our 2nd accused, the senseless person. Through his actions of low morality and selfishness, it is obvious he's completely ignorant towards how people and living things around him feels. Perhaps ignorant might not even describe the full intensity of his crimes. You ask yourself, (staring into the eyes of Mr Worrisome Jason and Mr Nice Jason), do you wish for such a person be let off?

Lemme refres you on the meaning of ignorant. It means "lack of training". I think for my second (most-blur, ya, keep those gratitunous gifts coming) client, Mr Inconsiderate, he just need some rehabitary training ay.. Including fim into the charter would constitute a condemnity towards a forgetful caracter like his, which I m sure you'd agree, would be unfair.

--------

Without Mr Fhypocrite, I think all business would fave failed. My beloved Jury and of course, your Jonour, it is people like my third defendant would provides job opportunities in the marketing sectors since they are, by at large, the inspirational role model for our sales-assistants chiong-sters and some others.

I believe you would agree it doesn't hurt to have some compliments and white-lies from My Fhypocrite. More than never, fis golden words of encouragement are mistaken to be forgery and pretendence. Omg.

Sweetie, I mean, prosecuting lawyer, we shall now hear your closing for the third accused.

Thank you your Jonour. Thank you for the remindful closing for his client. Your Jonour and Jury, the third accused, Mr Hyprocrite, is a master of bluff. He conceals the truth and creates a false image of himself. Sometimes, collaborating with Mr Backstabber, to cause fatalness on selected victims.

I hereby raise Jection 21A which protects our minority, the Naive-thinkers. Shouldn't we consider that behaviour of Mr Hyprocrite would detriment the minority's well-being, given they impressioned what people portray themselves to be? Psychologist have proof that we judge a person when we first meet, entirely on our first impression of their outer appearance and behaviour. Of course, it is rebuttable that as time passes, we should have discover the shortcomings of such hyprocrisy. Wouldn't that constitute more disguishing around us. Why live a life so fake?!

--------

I got nothing to say about the client. Personally, I detest Undue Inflencer. Damn, if it wasn't the fallen angel's instructions, I'd have not taken this client man.

I guess that speaks it all.. all of us dislikes undue Inflencers. These people think they have power over us because of sheer authority. With great power comes great responsibilities, not more self-flaming and induglence into other people's misery. We should have the fundermental right to live as we were decide ourselves to be. Just as long as we oblige by our morale rules, we should be fine. Buzz off, you stupid, I mean, xtras!

Jog adjourned till date to be confirm.

Jog!

(everybody rise)

The proceedings have commenced and the Jog has heard both lawyers' closings for 3 of the defendants. Wonder what would be their final sentences? And what date would the jog adjourn till? Stay tune to find out!

De one with "Yeay"

Said so

Today's a rather unproductive day. All my efforts in arriving punctually at TPY library went down the drain. All because of the noise pollution from the elevator renovation and this err.. weird guy (think he's not straight) who deprived me of my eraser. I only lent it to him thinking it was for his temporary use. Turns out, the eraser was with him through my entire stay there. Omg. If I were to illustrate his usage on a Product possibility curve (PPC), he'd most likely be outside the convexed area (on the outmost right from the zero axis), i.e. over-utilisation!!

Since it was such a flopped study visit, I decided not to waste time, packed up and left for TTSH to visit my ah-ma. She looked lonely la.. I felt it'd be good for me to visit her, making use of my availabe free time since I'm on leave. Normally, I'm always occupied at work, thus hardly interact with her. She didn't eat. Wasn't supposed to since she had so many scans today.

I met mama at the hospital. We left at 2 (visiting hours ends), did hasty shopping at Fairprice Xtra. Omg, I just couldn't believe it, it's supper crowded. Accordingly to mama, it's senior citizens 2% rebate day. No wonder.

Came back, I was eating my lunch. Tuna Ciabatta Melt from Starbucks.. my favourite..yummy. Didn't take me long to be glued to the TV. Oh no.. I did some job la.. cleared my accounting of this stack of receipts. I reckon the pile was around 6cm tall. So much.. expenditure. Sigh. Turns out, the expenses levels are increasing month after month. Die la.. like that how to save for my Hume Avenue!?

Evening came, gave the dog a bath. Else, she stinks. And of course, mopped my room. Getting dusty. Never study but proud I accomplished other chores. I guess it's excusable.

Ok back to studies for now.. next blog: Ten people whom Jason dislikes the most.. be sure to catch it. Not a blog to be missed!

De one with If Given a Choice

Dedicated to the universal Gods

Evening, mama shared some news about my granny's condition when I arrived home from my visit at the hospital. The doctor had a discussion with my uncle and her in the afternoon. He says there is a possibility that ah ma's bone marrow might have been dysfunction. It probably explains why her blood level is always falling below average despite infusion of 3 packets of blood over the past few days.

The doctor would seek the cardiologists' opinion, have ah ma undergo scans and subsequently, endorscopy (inserting tube with miniprobe to view the inside of the body), which ah ma objected.

The news came with a thud. It was my heart which sank immediately. My mind turned cold. I couldn't help but unleash the fear within me..

During shower, my thoughts ran into chaos, a million voices wailing "It (departure of another family) is not going to happen! I wouldn't allow" repeatedly, over and over again. Heart ache like mad.

I hate myself. I hate for not being in control of such events. Although I keep telling myself I shouldn't think of the worst, I just couldn't help being crumpled by the fact that she's not recovering. Now this.. it's like never-ending fatal medical problems affecting my loved ones.

Can't believe I'm sobbing as I blog. Silly silly me.. If I could, I'd forbear whatever life I have for my future, euthanise myself and transpose all my remaining life and health to them. Seriously, I don't mind, I wouldn't even have any split second thoughts about this!

De one with Feeling Better

Ok, not really better, maybe just a little

I couldn't take it anymore. Went downstairs to the SPC kiosk to get a Magnum Vanilla. Cost me $3.90. Guess it was worth it coz the rich chocolate coating improved my mood to "green" scale.

Speaking of dinner, yesterday's dinner was different. We had Teochew Muiy (Teochew Porridge). Did some improvision for the dishes since we couldn't make up our mind for dinner when Mama (my aunt) asked before she left for her marketing in the morning.

As you can see, (clockwise, starting from bottom right), there's my bowl of porridge, white-celery, fish & chicken from Long John Silver, the bacon-hotdogs were Jasmine's, there's Jasmine's requested chow-sum-xu, lunceon meat (its pork, I dun like this) and on top there's salt eggs (yucks). I requested for scrumble eggs (which is obviously not in this picture), something I must have when I eat porridge. Dinner was ok.. different from the one I had at my office nearby stall which sold more "qing dan" (bland) teochew muiy.

Since I am eating at home. I didn't have to respect tradition. Did away with pepper but I bought this to add some salty taste to my meal.

De one with Mr Grumpy

"Leave me alone" day

Who says Accountants ain't fun? Who says Auditors are a bunch of people to be feared about? Why eh, is it because accounting's always based on historical events? So are the facts which lawyers, forensic scientists, policemen, archeologists are basing on to carry on with their job. I mean an event has to occur before it becomes facts and subsequent info to be exacted, derived from such facts to prove useful for us in our decision making. Life's full of decision making: Judges based on this prior committing someone liable for a crime, our annual reports has to be true and fair for investors else they'd definitely be worst than the broke Lehman Brothers' share-holders.

What's wrong with me? I seriously don't know. Probably the period of the month? Great..now that I mentioned that, alot of ladies out there must be offended by me.

I awfully need a break. I need a pat on my shoulder which has become so tensed up, the heart's tied up in complicated knots, with all the arteries glutted with emptiness. My mental's weary and worn out. Pessimistism, frustration cloud overhead. I bet if you x-ray me, you'd easily spot a black-hole in my heart, just 0.7cm from the center of my heart.

All of a sudden, I felt so imprisoned from anybody. More specifically as though a mobile phone without any signal for connectivity. That's how bad I am. It can get as worse as a drought-sickened little boy who's dehydrated and his condition nearing the brim of unconsciousness. With every faint heartbeat, every functioning brain cells in him desperately yearning and praying for rain to fall from the sky.

"Hand me the world on a silver platter and what good would it be.
With no one who shares, no one who truly cares for me"

- Alicia Keys, If I Ain't Got You

Where are my chocolates? Din't buy any. Every night I just lie on my bed, with my silent handphone on my side, listen to angel Jason whispering "tomorrow would be better" into my right ear, devil Jason pops out at my left ear, rebut sarcastically "ya, continue lying to yourself". What would I do? Bury myself in my pillow and weep.

Sometimes it appears to me, really screw up life I'm leading man.. and what? No handyman even pass me a spanner, not even Popeye is willing to offer me a can of spinach for me to get stronger for the moment. Anyway, I hate spinach. Prefer broccoli.

I heard news my ahma was overjoyed when her true grandson (my Mummy's elder brother's son) went to visit her with his girlfriend. Hai.. what's compared to my visit 3 days and that day when I was dizzy and still went to see her. Hai. Reminded I don't have a loved one. Makes me doubt if anybody cares about me.

As the years pass, I couldn't help but witness the family members at home become less and lesser. It's as though the divine has used his eraser and removed the family figures of the my family tree. What? Did I guess correctly? He's calling them to his Home Garden (reckoned with global warming) due to shortage of deaths because of advanced medical science which have prolonged life? My family because I'm Jason which means Healer? Pls.. that's just ridculous!

Remember we were thought to summarise in school. I hate that because I didn't master until I grew up. In short, this blog is Mr nice boy turning grumpy, growling if anyone cares for me.

"Trying hard to reach out, but when I try to speak out, felt like no one could hear me.
Wanted to belong here, but something felt so wrong here.
So I pray, I could breakaway"

- Kelly Clarkson, Breakaway

De one with Retrospective

21.08.2008

Remember My 23rd birthday photos and videos.. So sorry it took so long! Erm, I know about the long-delayed videos.. there's 3 which will take me forever to download. Why, not, just view these first?

14:05:12 hrs, pizza party, Henderson office.

* We look busy (eating) don't we.. well the rest are busy preparing? Oops *

* Unglamorous *

14:50:42 hrs, cake candles salutation, conference room.

* Erm, you guys sure you got the number of candles correct? Ooo, 5 years one Haha *

14:55:00 hrs, cut and serve, poor birthday boy


21:01:53, home celebration with Jasmine and Ah-ma, Ang Mo Kio

*Some much cakes in a day! My stomach n gastric juices got alot of homework to do overnight man!*

*Ahma, me, my birthday cake and the unseen happiness drawn on our faces*

*Paiseh paiseh, my hair's abit messy.. Takuya, fetch me my gatsby hair wax, will you!! My cousin, Jasmine (the photographer) keep complaining "quick lah, finish taking photos already anot, let's eat.." Then the birthday song went "baurrap..burrup (fast-forwarded) and before we knew it, I was cutting the ice-cream cake I got from Swenson on my way home.*

De one with Not Panicking

Slack

It's the first day and what, less than 14 days to exams and I've yet to have done any studying. Shameful but sad to say, I'm not panicking. Ask me why..ask me why.. actually, I'm clueless.

This semester seems like it's so slow moving. On the contrary, it's gone before I have the time to notice. Perhaps work's took too much toll on me. Blur like siao (means "crazy" in Hokkien) now. I feel like giving up studies. BUT i know, if I want materialise my "Hume avenue" dream, I have to complete my university.

In fact, I msn Mohan about this yesterday night. He says I worry too much. Taxation, OB, Corporate Accounting, I tell you, all in need of memory work. Lots of it, and I'm not worried. Something's very wrong man.

Do you always feel when it's nearing exams, we suddenly realise there's so much things we feel like doing? Right now, I just feel like drawing, going to the beach (even when it means going alone), backpacking for a vacation, running non-stop. Yet, I understand I have to prioritise and call "discipline" to duty.

Ok, tomorrow onwards, work has to be done. The mugging shall proceed and Jason, put all those brain cells to work. You heard it!! Butterfly!!

De one with You Delighted Us Man

Kawaii neh

I happen to come across Jay Chou's latest MV for 时光机. It's delightful! I've never thought someone would have a mv using characters from Doraemon!!

Check this out !! Hope it will fetch laughter and "pei fu" (admiration) to you readers as much as it had done for me!!!



For those who are unable to catch it here, try my source @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hR7eeUGzh4w (in courtesy of user xaznxchickx2604 at youtube.com)

Lemme know how you feel about the MV, drop your comments in my comments box!

De one with Dizziness

Eve of exam-study leave

I had dizzy spells all day. What else to hold account for? The lack of sleep over the past 4 days (working like 2-3am everyday), neglected diet and poor emo management. Sounds like the usual suspects are put to blame...again.

I cleared CCPL today, finally. The first thing Rebecca asked when she talked to me in the morning was did I not sleep well last night. Then, her review throw out alot of silly mistakes I made due to the limitations of my concentration level at 1-3am in the morning. I laughed when she brought them up to my attention. Oh no..

I just couldn't take it, so I asked for leave and left office during lunch time. Straight away, my mind alerted me might as well I head to Beach Centre to retrieve my calculator, which was "held in captive" at my client's secretarial office. In the cab to Bugis, I dialled Florence, who jokingly commented on whether I had considered to abandon my calculator.

Very rapidly, I proceeded to TTSH and stayed with ah-ma for almost an hour despite my dizzy spells (felt alot lik earthquake turmoils) and long-hunger. In a train of course. Save $. Today's visit was more fruitful. We chatted longer. Seeing her regaining health glowed my heart with warmness. I'm just so glad she's alright. She kept asking me to go home earlier to rest lo. In return I kept asking her whether she's eating well and feeling bored anot. The granny-grandson comical brickering. Oh my..

Came home and had a meal before take a nap. I know, don't nag, it's sinful and unhealthy. By the time I woke, the entire house was dark and insolated as my aunt had left for TTSH again for the evening. Silly of me to consider it was midnight. Haha.

Alright, feels so much better I rejuvernated. Tomorrow it's time to wake up and start mugging. Exams coming!!

De one with Ahma's Hospitalisation

Unexpected

Early morning wasn't right. My frail ahma fell when she was trying to stand up from the sofa. It was too rush for me, when I took a look at her, she was in bed, sleeping.

Afternoon my aunt left me a missed call. I swear I was perspiring cold sweat as I returned her miss call due to phobia developed after all these years' experience.

Despite that fact that I had alot of work to do, the situation didn't permit me to complete them. So I packed everything home, emailed the reports to my email so that I could rush to the TTSH (Tan Tock Seng Hospital) to visit ahma.

Along the way to Heeren, before going down to TTSH (I had it planned), my mind lingered in thoughts on why everytime when it's near my examination period, all these unexpect events would appear. Unfortunate events.. which deprived me of my beloved family members eventually. Just.. =_=

I didn't have much difficulty locating the place, even when I arrived without any information on the rightful ward to approach. Was there but couldn't help getting a feeling that the patient didn't like me to be there. Ahma didn't look like she was happy to see me. Sigh. I know..emo's to blame. I wasn't put down. It's just the experience of visiting a family member in the hospital, this hospital where my mummy and brother took their last breath, it overwhelms me with fear and fuel my mind with heartache memories.

I was dead really tired, mentally shagged. Only as I sat beside ahma bed did I begun to recognise growing depression in me too. Perfect.. real perfect, I guess that explains why I need attention and care yet not getting any much.

Tears gathered at the corners of my eyes as I listened to ahma relate she lost her appetite everytime her emotions were affected by her misses for Jimson. This has directly resulted her diet to be affected adversely. Plus a pinch of stubbornness, refusing to eat didn't improve but worsen the condition. Now, she's being diagnosed with very very low blood-sugar levels or mild hypoglycemia. Sigh. The doctor explained to me her blood-sugar level is less than half of that of an average female around her age.

I can understand she's over-grieved by the departure of Jimson. I feel too. I mean, I think about him and cry alone. I don't blame her but I felt she should have been strong. We've always been here. I buy food to take care of her well-being. I just don't want anybody to fall ill or leave. Really really can't go through another funeral. I really don't. I've broke down too much all these years. I'm 23 years old and I've to experience so much heart-shattering events.

I care alot for others, except my facial expressions don't show neither I speak my mind unless I have the opportunity to. I'm completely clueless, why must life be so.. aiya.. family's broken, I'm not a happy soul.

Thought having collected Jay Chou's new album would fetch some happiness. I was looking forward to today. Turns out, it didn't because I was too concerned with ah-ma. I didn't have time to prescribe and medicate with chocolates today.

It seems the more all these makes life even more meaningless to me

De one with Young Age Crisis

Complaining

Being good was never good enough. That's why making the best out of everything forms part of my unspoken character-goal. Lately, things didn't go the way I expected it to be. Apparently, it's worst and far-fetched from what I thought it to be.

I might have complained, lament and whined repeatedly about my incompetence in everything. Same old bothersome problems at work, school, social personnel, whatever it is, it's thriving on my misery.

Who doesn't want to be the best? Sorry, I'm a perfectionist, though I act as if I'm easy going with anything. I was so disappointed when my teammate called me during lunch to convey bad news of our OB assignment. We got a failing grade. I couldn't believe I would ever fail a group's assignment. Stupid.

The greatest challenge in my life is social deficiency. I'm not anti-social. I just don't open up to people that easily unless I have to. It's not my fault I'm not born a fluent tonguer. Give me a break, you guys dun have to make me feel no sense of belonging.

I was really sad over dinner at the Marina Pier. Seriously, I don't feel attached to my company. To the extend, I feel I'm just another dispensable employee. People who are doing worse than me click so well, they got help. I'm facing all assignment alone. Else, how do I learn?

Really unhappy. Life's not fair, nobody says it is in the first place. But, don't have to be that unfair to me what...

De one with Some of my Favourite Things

"When the dog bites
When the bee stings
When I'm feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don't feel so bad"

Find these lyrics familiar? Yup, they are adopted from "My favourite Things" sung by original singer, Julie Andrews in musical film "The Sound of Music, 1965". I fell in love with the film when I was 9 -10 years old. Back then, apart from the opening credits song "The Sound of Music", I fell more for the song "Sixteen going on Seventeen" played in the film.

Not sad actually. Just sharing a couple of my favourite things (which includes my favourite things, places, food, atmosphere).

Let Jason start with the tangibles! First on the list *Drumroll*.. X-men. It was, it is and it will still be include on my list of favourite thing and deeply imprinted in the depths of my heart which stirs an ever-burning interest. Was totally hooked the first time I saw the animated series.. particularly, the Phoenix saga.. well, simply because it involved almost every X-men. A few recent years back, the X-men trilogy took the box-office by storm. I tell you, it was wonderful to see the cartoon personifying. Well, interest everyone except Mohan, who fell asleep while watching the final instalment of the trilogy. Omg. He never like impractical things la.. come to think of it, I feel abit bad for asking him along to view what he'd most probably condemned to be "not-worth-watching movie".

Second, *applause* Jay Chou songs. Not just my favourite thing. An elixir of life to be exact. Personally deemed of course. Listen to his songs, you'll feel better. Nope, JVR never pay me advertisement fee to prmote this eh.

Thirdly, favourite thing.. *cans knocking* drawings in my sketchbooks. These are precious collections of my inspiration during army and leisure time. I couldn't help admiting I had a few sketch books before this which is still safe in my keeping. The rest were stuff at home or who knows no where to be found. Those contained a sketch of myself, with reference to a photo of course. Except Jimson, whom I drew a life portrait. Darnit.. where did i left those stuff? There were a few other pieces I drew and gave to people. My office's window panels for example. I gave A twice, a sketch of us and a heart. Silly folly.

Fourth, *girls whining* I have a soft spot for cuddle toys. Like my bedside chip and dale pushies. I like Sashi bears and Tatty bear. None other than that.

Fifth, *ceremonial trumpets' fanfare* favourite dinner places. You guys and gals must listen up since I hardly eat much, surprise I have selected favourite dinner places right? That would be Swensons at Changi Airport (every year I must have a "firehouse" at any Swensons); Ikea restaurant and "glasshouse" Fish & Co. I just.. love the atmosphere. Nothing special or glam like hotel buffets. It's just my finest personal selections.

Sixth, *cheering* speaking of favourite dinning places I can't go without mentioning my favourite food. What? Yesh, I hear some faint-thoughts.. Absolutely right! Fish and Chips! Erm.. sorry to disappoint no gift for correct answers ley.. Cheese cakes, hotplate dishes.. bring it up.

Seventh, *paint spluttering*..Blue's my favourite color. But sometimes, I'm intrigued by the mesmerizing rainbow. Oopsey demsey. Don't worry, Blue. For I will remain faithful to you forever. Ok, crap. *No.. I said no throwing of trash at me..and don't you dare close this window.*

*RPG game level-up music* Moving favourite feelings, let's see.. Ichi, I love the burning sensation on my skin surface during sun-bathing. Love it even more when I'm radiating tan-complexion. Ni, the cooling feeling after having ran a long journey.

San, I love the accompany of friends, who enjoys just as much going out with me, shopping, watching movie, talking to me.*So, all my "limited-edition" friends out there, kindly call me to acknowledge if you really care about it after reading this blog*

Shi, I love chilling out at Starbucks, chatting and drinking ice-passion tea or caramel-mocha frap!! "Caramel is sweet, the mocha is bitter. That's why it is caramel mocha. It's like life, love in particular". In the past, I was paranoid if I never have an Ugly chicken puff during my every Starbucks visit. Else, it would mean bad luck. Haha..wonder where such baseless superstitious beliefs came from.. No more lucky charm food.. I just love the tuna petite now!

Go, I love waking to a morning, hearing the breeze tingling the windchimes, the sound of water from the pool, breathing citrus and scent of flora and fauna. More desirable to be greeted with a cuddling hug and kissed on the forehead (cheeks will kena pimples), with greeting aroma of big breakfast and orange juice..yummy..

Roku, I'd love the sight of a wardrobe room, exhibitioning my collection of clothes, accessories, facial products, slippers, footwear and my very own colognes bar-top cabinet. AHAha.

Nana, unforgettable feeling to do something nice to people, my family member.. Nothing's more gratifying to see their smile, acknowledgement and happiness over the little things I do for them.

Well...looks like I've mentioned quite alot. Yup, that's all I can think of. Anyway, it's supposed to be SOME of my favourite things..not all eh..

De one with Dumb Himbo

Clueless

How how? I'm becoming more and more of a dumb..er.. himbo (He Is Malicously Brainless and Obnoxious)? Ok, let's not panic. Let's just..calm down and figure out a resolution.

Although I'm not very good at studying. I'm ok with phrasing report. Use my brain for making efficient use of my observations and plan with my wits to deal with any impromptu situations. I figure out accounting issues, paint images of complex scenarios in my mind. Ok, I'm not that dumb afterall.

For now, I need to finish my job and just...mug all the way till exams. Ok, that's what I'm gonna do. I need encouragement hor.

Arhh... nowadays I've been anyhow only. Rebecca raised so many things I ought to have picked up but I just couldn't recall or it didn't occur to me that I ought to have noticed. Dumb dumb dumb. Oh well.. I just have to norish my brain cells with knowledge.

De one with Smiles But Nothing

Full-throttle

Work's just as tough. Thank goodness I managed to push for CCPL. Now I'm only left with the final analytical work before I can send the file into Rebecca's room for review tomorrow, hopefully. Yesterday, I stayed in office until 10:40pm to cleared Sanford Rose HK report. Gonna expect more clearing points for the main audit like tomorrow? Sian.

Well.. come to think of it, there isn't much in my life. All I can say is it's awfully stuffed with boredom and nothing else. Perhaps silly emotions put to play. I wonder what's my purpose in life.

Need a breakthrough yet there isn't any room for willingness to do something about it. No to even mention anybody who cares to offer help or volunteer to be with me. It's so stagnant. And it sux.

Nothing to blog today except work work work and smiles but nothing. So sian...

De one with Backlog

Brain dead

Woke up in the middle of the night, around 1+am by this frightening dream about a guy attacking my hallmate and I with a penknife. Apparantly, this burglar got through our dorm's door, lock-broken and all my hallmate did was stick a broomstick. I dreamt I was feeling feverish in the dream - it made the situation worst.

So proud of myself. Was disciplined enough to wake up early exactly at 6am and left house for work at 7:15. Interesting day to begin with onboard bus 175. It had a very different layout: All the seats were lined along the sides, facing each other, similar to that of an C130.

- Nice seats right? Nope, it's not a bar or cafe place -

The first thing I noticed was the colors (being red, checkers of black and white) and leathered chairs which gave away the fact that this bus was built in association with the F1 Grand Prix race. At the front were red leather, 3 seaters seats. The back consists of a row of individual black leather seats, designed to look exactly like a racer's seat. In the middle on the right window panel was a big 42" screen. I believe this bus was previously used in the F1 package?

Cool concept man. I couldn't help but be amused and entertained by the passengers around me. Thy behaved like chickens in a farm, turning their heads to scan this unique interior of the transport.

But work came nothing close to be as amusing nor interesting as morning's encounter. It was a dreadful, stressful day, filled with discouraging clearing points. Worse is these were sticky, like super glue. Once you get it touch with it, god bless, it's hard to shake it off. shake shake, shake it off.

I stayed until 10pm, skipped dinner but lucky we went out for lunch at Mc donalds as we couldn't da bao. There was a client in hte conference room (aka our place for lunch actually).

Work don't suck, people you work withcould attribute to work sux too. I realised I'm not so good and I feel people are backstabbing about me? Nvm.

It's inevitable but it always make me think do people really have to be like this? Then doubts of whether I would get something out of doing so much for the company and not being recognised or even achieving anything.

De one with Christian Columbarium

Cold night (Why must cold be in blue? Which is why I used red!)

The only times I had been to a columbarium were attending sorrowful arrears for my Mummy and Jimson. Never have I myself being there as part of my job. Today, I set foot on the grounds of the GOR. You could say this was the Part II of CCPL.

Remember I mentioned about the nasty aunties from Part I? The people from Part II are like the reversed side of the coin.. "In other words, please be true.. " (Fly me to the Moon) ok..oops, I mean they are alot nicer people, certified "none-backstabbers".

By the way, the place was in the plot for cemetries at Lim Chu Kang. Seriously, I had no idea on how to get there. Knowing if the red line (ie North South mrt line) would have my butt aching due to the long journey (or even worse, I might have to stand all the way if it's unluckily crowded), I took a bus 74 to head where I presumed LCK to be near West. Unfortunately, Navfone on my Omnia revealed this was incorrect. It's located Northern-West! Hehe. My flexible mind responded quickly for me to detour - dropped off at JE, went up to CCK and took a cab.

Well well, had little trouble as I only told the taxi uncle that I needed to go to the Christian Columbarium in English, which he mistook for the Christian burial cemetry. Until we reached the cemetry did we reached an understanding on my destination - the ONLY cremation cloumbarium.

When I alight from the vehicle, the manager PY, was already out from the office just beside the lobby to welcome me. I don't understand why but I recalled myself smiling widely, initiating a handshake and hospitable words came out of my mouth: "Yes I am (you see, he inquired if I am Jason), I'm Jason. You must be PY, nice to meet you!"

The same gestures happened when I was introduced to the two other staff in office. Truly, I was extremely surprised myself. My behaviour was so natural as though it's my everyday business.

It was weird. Deep down I had a prior understanding of how niches were selected, the different pricing strategies, what kind of niches, what are niches in the first place. But I let PY took the honour as the thoughtful man explained retentlessly about how their trade practice commences when I raised a question on how their sales procedures are carried out.

Apart from being nice, I found PY is person of interesting character. He is an embodiment of conscientiousness and meticulousness. He pocessess marketing skills, I must say, I'm impressed.

Bad thing was I had to lunch with the staff. PY drove us to Farmart to eat the least food I'd eat on Earth - Seafood. They scooped clams (CLAMS for goodness!) into my plate. I was thinking "Oh no.. it's so inedible. It's seafood. It's super rich in cholestrol". PY gave me fish which I hardly eat because I wasn't efficient in separating the bones from the flesh (Jimson would have done better). However it wasn't very nice to reject. So Himbo Jason had to swallow everything..reluctantly.

After lunch it was like 3pm. I stayed until 6:59pm before I wrapped up. PY offered to send me but I was faster in dialling a cab. Lunch was already enough to be undermine my professional independence. Call me weird or strict but I dislike having my client treating me. My professionalism principles discourage this. Same reason I didn't wish to put up photos or links to the GOR.

Today's audit experience was nonetheless an eye-opener. Apart from getting to see the stretch of road lined with secluded camps and deep-hidden airbases, visiting the GOR expanded my personal encounters at the sepulchral vault in the capacity of an visitor, direct-involved party, as well as an external observer.

The Columbarium re-mould my perception that it is all about rows of HDB-flats for the niches. They provided spaces on which Statues may be eracted, other products such as marble books, pleagues and even garden-spaces. Real unimaginable marketing-reaped ideas.

Overall, the people are nice as mentioned earlier. Mens in their 50's. Just like my dad. Except they were Christians. Haha.

Speaking of which, 5 persons asked if I was Christian: the Columbarium staff, a taxi aunty and Darren. Haha. Do I look or behave like one? I asked, two of them commented I'm nice, that's why. Omg. I tell you, this was the exact from them, not blowing my trumpet.

I ought to acquire a new calculator. Left mine at CCPL's secretarial office. Which the secretary was unwilling to courier it to me. Nevermind. Sayonara my long-yeared exam-companion. "We've come so far.. from a dozen lands" (One People, One Nation, One Singapore), I mean it's time for us to part. *one tear*

Alright. This Free-thinker Jason, signing out.

De one with Limit

Grey

Everybody, not forgetting everything they do has limit. An intangible ceiling which requires alot for us to seek our extraordinary strength to reach greater heights, which turns out often to be an extremely task. A break-through would definitely demand trillion times better.

I do not have fast-focused intelligence to figure things out instantly. I know very well, my forte isn't in science but in arts. I knew it too well, which is why I challenged myself to accounting.

Today has been a rather busy day. I cleared Ipac and yet it's haunting me. Troublesome but we resolved after much discussion with Gabriel. Let's hope the amended report can be delievered out of the oven so I can forward the documents to my client like serving the ball into their court.

Ipac wasted 1-2 hours today. Majority of the day I was occupied with CCPL. Evening I spent a short while to kill the "depreciation of plant property and equipment" of UMP. It's abit rush as I needed to go on study leave for my apporaching exams next Friday. Seriously, from the way things are progressing, can't help but think I might not be able to tender both.

All thanks to my undaunting ambitious target to complete CCPL by tomorrow. Turns out the client took longer than I expect to furnish me with the outstanding matters. Sigh. Fat hope I'll be able to achieve my target. For UMP, I am abit lost actually. However, I believe I'd just have to tied a few loose ends before I proceed with the consol. Pray hard I can finish and impressively send both jobs into Rebecca's room before I leave.

Actually, CCPL was an extra for me lor. Otherwise I could have better concentrate on completion of UMP and clearing my post-review proceedings on Sanford Rose (2 sets some more) which I completed in July and Rebecca is still reviewing.

I am supposed to be too workaholic to notice or pay attention to the hostility which is around me. I realised I can't talk properly. When I tried to speak, my voicebox was as though it was frozen and all I heard was squekling. Darn, I hate this.

I feel I'm not needed.. like I don't belong here. Trust me, sometimes I even thought of resigning. But I kept going against the odds, remaining optimistic. The clearing points from Gabriel was a full A4 size page. Initially, I was really disappointed in myself. Subsequently, I kept telling myself if I never attempt the clearing points, I'd not have learnt new things.

Unfortunately, I jsut feel... so.. incompetent. Plus, completely useless! I'm getting sick of all these man..