De one with Dropping Everything Else

Unloading

If I hadn't inherit patience from Daddy, I honestly doubt if I'd have remained my cool. Faced with an excruciatingly experience at work today. Its the third time in my two years' association with the company. So upset, I nearly brimmed with tears. But I knew it was unmanly to let any emotions. You just have to clench your teeth and handle the prevailing situation. I had been doing this and I employed the same behavior again today. It feels sucky to see the ugly side of people. It makes me sick seriously.

Augh, it's furtile dwelling over what I kana ("encountered" in Malay). Rebecca said, tong wan mi shwang zhong ren. She explained it means two/multiple characters developed despite all feeding on the same staple food/rice in this context. Just unfortunately today's not my day.

Knowing so, I ended work on time and "fled" to Paragon to remedy the MMS problem. Ernest, the customer service officer told me they needed time to configure the settings which probably takes 30minutes. I made my way to Coffee Club to dine alone. As much as I was reminded of my striving-low-profile and independent secondary and JC days, I realised I was a shell just eating for the sake of eating. The dishes on my table weren't what I really wanted. So I practically stoned after a few bites of pennes.

Ernest called, the mms was enable. Subconsciously, I suspected something was wrong. Have been having migraine these few days. That was when I got reminded of NUH and decided to go there to snack and sat... perhaps this was how I feel better - pursuing your memories, reflect the events.. As I locate myself at NUH, I recalled the days when I was a trainee specialist and was appointed to visit this medic at this medical building somewhere between NUH and NUS compounds. It was a moment of freedom. And I feel... lighthearted. Dissipating all the self-doubts, self-disappointment.. with breezy nostalgic therapy.

I had to.. to prevent my loss of confidence and find composure. Really hate being moved and jeopardising control/grip over myself. It's a sigh of vulnerability. It's a taboo for perfectionist.

Survived a crisis on how to get home from NUH :: Topo my way through to Commonwealth MRT. It was until I reached Outram Park than I decided to meet Clara for a chat. Well, I was pretty impressed I traveled on the public transport for longer than expected.

Whatever doesn't kill you means you stronger. True indeed.

De one with Debut of the Temptatious

First time ever...

Omg omg omg! Recently I realised I've more prone to succumb to cravings for ICE CREAM!! Omg omg omg!

The vanilla, milky texture.. sizzling cool vapour swirling up seductively into the air. Just take a look at it, all laid in the fridge.. man, hell had no lush for an ice-cream temptations. Ah-woooo~

Eh?! where's Eva Longoria? Omg omg omg! Ladies and gentlemen, for the first time, hot has succumbed to coldness. Eh wait, didn't they show how Bobby "the Iceman" defeated Pyro in X-men 3? *Someone get this spoiler out please... * Muahahah.. ok, where was I? Yup, the hot Eva had been absorbed by the coldness. To lower the temperature further, *whispering* perhaps she had too much re-shoots and over-consumed too much first bites of Magnum. Haha.

Goooddddarrrnnit. It all starts...

*harp melody*

A very long time ago, in a small town, there was a little boy named Jason. He went to the "300+" marketplace (named derived because the marketplace was located in the vicinity of HBD flats with block numbers with 300+) with ah-ma on weekends morning. Ah-ma will do her grocery shopping, buy bah kuht teh or pig trotter's soup from this famous hawker store. While little Jason enjoy staring in front of this corner mini-aquarium store, fascinated with the tanks of guppies; play continuously in this small-scale public stage in front of the Town Council or...terrific times with a Mr Softee from 7-Eleven! In fact, that's a doting reward from my ah-ma. Hehe.

*glamorous wink*

Kindergarten was filled with days of ice-popsticks, those which comes in the form of two-plastic sausages shaped, requiring a twist to the middle to break the wrapping before you could taste the syrup soaked ice. and ice-cream with bread (from those pushcarts ice-cream uncle). Haha. After that, we "upgraded" to Push-cup ice-cream, Popsicle ice cream.. AND! there was the Paddle-Pop Rainbow ice-cream.. oooh.. that's a can't be miss! And there's one with the lime coating with vanilla  core.  Super nostalgic.

*flickering eyes*

Ageing don't seem a bad thing because during occasions like this will I get to eat Firehouse ice-cream from Swensons. It's a 3 flavoured ice-cream, the standard strawberry, vanilla and chocolate with a banana stock in the middle which lights a candle to give the ice-cream bowl a birthday cake-makeover. Back then, I thought this was the ultimate ice-cream in the world until my encounter with Earthquake ice-cream. More dry-iced smoke, and oooo... more flavors!

*delirious grin*

Recall there was this expensive ice-cream which wavy layers and chocolate favour. Hmm.. kinda forgot the name liao! Something "Vienna..." Super sinful.. but perhaps not as condemning sinful as the Mud pie! (every girl's desire) tsk tsk tsk. Yes.. the optimistic side of ageing is greater exposure to better indulgences.

*sinister laugh*

But everyone has their all-time favorite. Mine happens to be... *grand orchestra fanfare* Sundaes from Macdonalds. Like Pocky, it comes in chocolate and strawberry flavors! Haha. No preference actually. Tastebud sovereignty!

*V-sign*

Believe it or not, even till today, I have this mis-perception about Ben's and Jerry's being a lover's ice-cream brand. When I announced my point of view to my colleagues, the first reaction witnessed would be their "shock / jaws drop facial expression", followed by "Is it?" before they proceed with a chain of laughter. Oh boy..

*hands hits forehead*

If you ask which are my favourite ice-cream flavors? Press 1 for English. Press 2 for Nothing. Kidding.

Consolation places goes to rum and raisins. Fruitty flavors. Coffee perhaps.

Second runner up would have to go to "Orange Sherbet".

First runner up is none other than "Vanilla with macademia*.

And our most anticipated champion goes to.... *roll roll roll your boat*.. Thin Mint!

There you have it.. is that your stomach growling, heart's itching and lips biting? Hahaha.. Chill and relax, have a chillout, have an ice-cream! Ok, gotta cease, wouldn't want Media board to come apprehending me.Ohh! (Pictures in courtesy of Google.com search engine)

De one with Dubious

Sunday for validating honor

If only life was as clear as the Maldives oceans, if only it was as perfect as a Tiffany ring, if only it was as determinate as trees, if.. and IF only.

Suppose the biggest regret is not knowing how to embrace uncertainty. Not even people or objects within your grasp, be it a spouse or inseparable childhood friend. It's even more heartbreaking to prempt to all things comes an end. For example, the product life cycle of a market product (right, in courtesy of amadeo.blog.com). It rises to a peak and fades. Likewise the fate of all things. Not being pessimistic, just realistic here.

During vulnerable times, I'd fail not to self-reflect. This being one of the fastest way to understand the situation. Nevertheless, ain't attempting to solve any problems. Alot of times, people perceive instantaneously and leap straight into conclusion, flagging it off as self-denial, pessimism. Reality is, there weren't any problem to being with. It's plain situational analysis and comprehension. Let's just stop being so impatient and ignorant. Take the backside and listen.. sense.. approach life with an open mind.

I would deny as simple and confident as my appearance portray, being this tissues and muscles inhere doubts as to what I'm putting up with. Wouldn't prize myself for being persistent and goal-accomplishing at times but there are times I crumple when faced with circumstances ambiguous and seems out-of-my-control. Take a very good example, bondings. It's innate gift to be considerate towards others' feelings which translate such sensitivity in my actions and behavior. Regardless, it might work with most but not all who I associate with.

Stripe me of my flowery words, thoughtful poems and long texts of concern, concentrate and find me doubting whether I'm willing to commit. The heart is willing but the situation just doesn't permit. It's like holding a risky investment portfolio. Or a fragile ribbon. Hold it tight and it will snap. Leave it loose and it might flutter away with the winds.

Could it be really me? When I effort and it doesn't yield results, I retreat alittle. No, it doesn't mean I am giving up. Just have to deal with the uncertainty arising from non-responses. It's true, certain things are better left unresolved. "Like a sack of entangled rubber bands." (Christopher N., 2009) Relentless trials to dislocate them just gets it worse.

The above being said doesn't necessarily voice my decision to sweep dirt under carpets. Perseverance comes into picture in situation like this, to serve as a thoughtful reminder to hang out till it's over (in better or worst). If improvements apparent, good, its a hint for me to proceed closer. Otherwise, I think it's better to stay put. Think. And evaluate if its worth the wait.

Parallel lines won't meet (Nathaniel Ho, 2009). Travel forth and notice both are heading in the same direction, leading to somewhere in hopes it will converge. Look at the tracks on  the left (in courtesy of Draw One-point Perspective, S.Helen), it seems they do meet. But trust me, it'll not be meet who will bend. True enough, self-principles have to be guarded. And you haven't even noticed.

Most critically, live and let live. Feels much better. Clarity with writing. Cup emptied. Now I have spaces for more.

De one with Quiet

Time will tell..everything

It's true. Secrets have no answers to them. The quiet one holds the most secret. I supposed that's why they feel lost most of the time.

(Image in courtesy of www.fanpop.com)

Of all people around, I understand completely how it feels to self-contain unspoken troubles. Come here, let's give each other all the embraces we need.

De one with Cactus and EGM

Declining days

Lemme ask you a question: Have you ever watched this movie "Just my luck"? It stars pretty Lindsay Lohan and above-average Chris Pine. Or even better, you get to live it? Yes, I've been suspicious on whether I'm being "sucked" into being in a living script. My luck's kinda in jeopardy. Wondered if it was the cactus for Xmas which are strewn all over office except my table. For a moment, I thought "indoor cactus pricks your life" (Crayon, 2010) was nothing but a mid-wives' tale. Turns out..hmm.. nears convincing.

Since Monday, every morning's buzzing with eventful of... Urgh.. unpleasant "surprises"! Mails missing during postage and had to be reprocessed, calling client to solve other people's problem, being faulted for stock take conducted last year, solving discrepancies without information; feels inevitable and terribly-alone against the odds. Should I continue further, it'd have formed a chapter of my memoir.

Come closer.. let me share something with you alright.. All thanks to my cardio-blood cells.. they have managed to revived and revamped a bottle right in the inner compartment of the left ventricle. Mitral valve has been contained successfully. Projection plans has it for extra "problems" storage for 30% of the left atrium. Yes, the Jasons held an extraordinary general meeting today.

***

The following were resolved:

The members have unanimously agreed and hereby approve for halo-Jason to be reappointed as secretary for the "don't-know-how many(th)" neuron-wave of meeting. The Board veto against emo-Jason who was vying for similar post. Poll of votes was executed with 1 breath-second. Results were in favor of Board's proposal.

The members voiced their appreciation to healthy-Jason for his recommendable efforts to deter fats and face-buanging ("dire-condition" in sound-effect Singlish). Except an imaginary thumbs-down from lazy-jason, the remaining members unanimously agreed and hereby approve to reward the said Jason a few hours of time for continual physical training and dieting.

Operation "telling others your problems" have been put to haul. The members have been warned and whom agree for utilisation of "bottling-up". Effective day as at today. Concerns were raised on future blood-pressure expenditure and scarcity of energy. The members proposed and vote in favour of forming a "bright-a-Jason-day" cabinet headed by easy-going Jason; co-opt by optimistic-Jason.

As there were no further business, the EGM was concluded.

Finally, a vote of thanks to the CEO Jason for chairing the meeting.

***

Yup, yesterday was amusing, conspiracy "maybe I should get a big cactus or garden of cactus to tareh ("withstand" in Malay) all the power of neighboring effectors". Today cooking up with the holding of EGM. Man.. everything's woohaaing do I need a shrink?? Obviously not! I'm good. Just drained from work and lectures, quando quando quando ("maybe" in Italian). 3 down, 3 more to go for this week. Xiong!! ("fiercely challenging/demanding" in Hokkien). Just my luck!

*nearly fell off the chair*

De one with Feared Beginning

Test of time

Today school resumes full throttle. It's back to the enduring days of work, rushing to campus and three hours lecture. By the time home-arrival is accomplished, the clock reads plus/minus half past 11pm. *lets out a big sigh*

Work wasn't in fact good. Someone was right.. I didn't have a prancing day today. Early morning a client called to report the lost of mail of important reports. I explained to him the course of action which will follow under all possibilities. He's still not satisfied, called my boss. Sigh, I felt bad not due to the fact that my boss might be angry with me or feeling mad I've been backstabbed/complained, just feel disappointment primarily because I seemed to have caused disappointment to others. It's like not having good results when a child shows his/her report card to the parents for signature. There were other matters to attend to. All swammed toward me like a blast.

Afternoon had a "reprimanding" session with Rebecca when I was just following instructions. No.. instructions which changed. Oh well, but I am surprised recovery came earlier than expected. I didn't texted anybody to complain. Didn't have the time either. My current assignment is teething everywhere. *sigh*

Felt alittle guilty I put a tiny brave front in my replies to Crayon's texted. Evening lecture wasn't bored since it was strategic decision making. The poor lecturer was putting so much effort in engaging the class yet in vain. Poor guy. Little did I know the role I undertook, being marketing, is gonna be tough challenging because I just realised my teammates had to wait for my forecast, product cost requirement yadayada before they could proceed with their responsibilities. Omg. Pressurising. Interesting at the same time. But still.. pressurising ya..(?)

Okay, time to sleep. Tomorrow's a brand new day. Hope the week should improve   :)

De one with School Starts Tmr!

The day before tomorrow

Everybody looked forward to weekends. I ain't exception. Like many, I anticipate a break after a hectic week of work and rainy days. Completed a breath-taking assignment during the week. For that, I think I deserved a good weekend and pretty well, it turned out fair this week.

The prelude to a weekend begun with an evening jog on Friday. The majority in office left on time. Was waiting for my dinner buddy. Considering that person wouldn't arrive till 8+pm, I proceeded with my initial training for the forthcoming countdown. I have not been eating dinner well. But cared nontheless. Recently I discovered Mr Bean's soya milk with chendol's tasty and filling to the stomach. This discovery was realised on the night before after rushing down to Fairprice Xtra under the impression that it was near closing. Arrived at around 9+pm after I came back from a jog also, and surprisingly, it's still operating. Wuao.

Dinner buddy came (so much so for turning up with a filled-stomach). So dinner wasn't much except filled with a cup of Soya milk with chendol, Sundae hot fudge and a few bites of Ribena blackcurrent pastilles. And you know what?! 7-Eleven doesn't sell Mr Softee ice-cream anymore.. Sigh.. the old nostalgic childhood of going to the Blk 300+ estates when my ah-ma never fails to buy me Mr Softee. Those were the days and long bidden goodbyes now the product line is cut.

Was feeling lazy on Saturday.. considering I slept at 5am. (Man, speaking of this, just realise I ought to adjust my sleeping time earlier. Where's that lubricating and hypnosis brainwave hiding at the corner of my brain when I need it badly?). Didn't head out of house until 4+pm. Met Crayon's friends for a little less-fetched coffee chat. Wasn't a little bit bored, rather I was faced with some language communication barrier - I thought everyone at the black starbucks table was more comfortable with conversation in mandarin. Knowing my weakness and limitations in mandarin, I decided to take a back-seat to observe than make a fool out of myself in speech. Besides, I kinda misjudged the beverage needed. Should have ordered a grande instead of a tall ice shaken lemon passion tea. I needed the drink badly to sustain conversation. Else my voice will end up straining itself before it starts to crack into hoarse. Haha. At the same time, I didn't want my presence to cause much awkwardness than expected. So yup, I tried my best to be engaged as much whenever the opportunity presents itself.

We departed from the nice pair and did shopping as intended. Embarked on my quest for the forthcoming new year, thank Crayon's accompany I managed to find this "buy-me" retro-Tee at FcUK and replacement for Kenzo cologne. Oh, by the way, my feets couldn't help resist but stepped into Swarovski outlet for its long-distant organ, my eyes, to glimpse if there were any new Kris bears on sale. Turns out more than meets the eye, prices per quantity have rose by almost 16% (Price comment as casual remark without prejudice) Thank goodness I bought my "babies" way before "effects from inflation" (as Crayon had said).

Had a sinful but satisfying dinner at Shokudo. I guess this restaurant retained my different meal experience although the same dishes sat on the table. Recalled there were birthday parties with colleagues where I pushed my colleagues' heads (a guy and a gal) together while taking photos; laughter-to-tears sessions over playing games (to finish the leftover dishes) with Reb, YW and Alice after work once; welcome-Jielong-back to Singapore dinner with himself, Loo and me; making Clara mad and crying while celebrating her birthday over lunch because Loo and I went overboard with our joke; after work meet-up and investment chats with Zhen Ze and GH. This evening, it was just Crayon and I, ordering less dishes, desserts and ironing issues for sustainability consensus. No idea when it would be sabotaged again, but well, a truly fresh experience to the collection for Shokudo I guess!

What's good didn't end until today. My friend Francis drove me to Vivo. That was where my NY quest was revisited. Bought 2 Tees from F.Perry, 1 from Zara and a lovely blue shirt from my most frequent R.I. Francis shown me this touch-screen PC screen which was fascinating. Ooh, he never fails to excite me with new gadgets informatives. What's more eye-popping is the price which is still within budget! Which I perceived to be high. Gurrrh, pardon me! I ain't any IT guru. Wuao! Looks like it's getting competitively price-affordable as technology progress rapidly and new products coming out with intriguing sophisticated yet desirable interfaces.

We ate sumptuously and bloated meal at Shin Kushiya before heading to the cinemas for a dull but interesting "logic-packed" Sherlock Holmes movie. Scores pretty well with all those detective and evaluation plot, not so much with the pace.. so much so Francis fell asleep twice amid the film. Omg. Furthermore, was in GV max theater, the aircondition was strong, freezy fuzzy therein.

Good times sure end in a blink of the eye. Except SMU (my empathy with Loowan), uni reopens tomorrow.  As much as it dreads, please Ganbante!     

De one with Backpeddling

Losing

The events are unfolding like a film I've audience/played in a few times. First, excuses. Second, no meetings. Ending, departure and one party gets left behind. Plotting this on a graph, it's gonna reveal a downward exponential curve. No, it doesn't hit zero. There's only so much a guy's heart can take.

If I'm getting the wrong impression, prove me wrong!

De one with Sundaying Clara and Carebears

Week-closing

An uneventful Sunday turned out for the better when I received a message from Clara last night when I blogged about her! Wanted to do supper but decided it'd be better for brunch next morning.

Was awoke from a text from her on postponing the brunch to 12:30pm instead of the initial 11am. Didn't have much to do, I decided to go for a hair-cut since it was about time anyway. The last hair cut was some 4-5 months ago? You must be wondering..

("nobody nobody but you..")

Eh, sorry sorry. Not WONDERgirls! Cut the lame crap.. hehe. Sorry, that's my evil twin brother. I was saying, you must be wondering how did I survive without haircut for these period. Truth was, DIY. I trimmed my hair personally. With a pair of scissor, a portable mirror (when I cut my back) and my standing mirror. How?

("how can I liveeee.. without you, I want to know.. how do I...")

One more time, Jason and we're quits. How do I cut? Just look myself into the mirror, conjure some courage and snip off where I feel should depart from my hair. Hehehe. It's that easy.

("If Jason can cut, so can you!")

That I would have to agree. Kidding. Mimic more, either Martin Yan or Food Network's gonna charge me for patent!

I wanted to just have salad. But my teary eyes gimmick failed to convince my way through Clara. She literally wanted me to follow suit with her "Junk food" day. Faint. And she even had the cheek to question "says who" and self-directed a response to her question "Coz I said so.." I nearly went bonkers. Under further undue influence (she had the pen tip up my neck), I acceded (*orhhh~*) and ordered the Texas grilled chicken. Herself? Pork chop - both were gutter sinners. Omg.

As usual, she wanted to pay. I ninja-ed held the bill and flashed my card faster than her...

("Everybody loves kung-fu fighter, Hooo! Hahh! They were as fast as light-ning, Hooo! Hahh!")

We decided to stroll our sins away, so we found ourselves escalating up to top level and patronised Laser faire. Thereat, we dropped our gutter-sin and picked up spend-thrift sin. *Hands over face*. Yes, we got fascinated with some nostalgic films. Madagascar 1 and 2 for Hers. Hunchback of Notre Dome and Shrek 3 for Him. Hehehe.

I played a joke over at the cashier. I said "hey, I wana buy Barney!". Almost instantaneously, Clara went weak on her kneels. Haha. Damn pei he ("spontaneous" in Mandarin). Super duper comical.

We next went to Action City and More than Words to visit the collection of care bears.. Told her I expect the entire collection - all bears placed on a sofa.. haha.. she did the math on the spot. Cost nearly $100 and she responded: "Sorry, too ex.." What a cheap thrill. But we laugh at it. Saw this package with a "ugly" unpleasant looking carebear mug, a calendar plus a mug cover. Clara wanted the third item. I wanted the second. So I suggested, why not we get another person who wants the first one. Hehe.

Clara wanted this massage-cushion which costs like 70 bucks. I heard this gadget has 6 modes of massage. Hmm.. I advised why not pay more ofr an Osim, being a more trusted brand and product.

I needed to buy box tissue. Clara needed to buy pocket tissue. So two tissue-purchasers descended to Fairprice at basement. Haha. Sounds spastic. But ya, i wanted this Mickey Mouse design which was stacked up on the top shelves. So I got the staff to get it for me. Out pops Clara, delivering the climax for the day la..

She swooped from behind and commented loudly la.. :"Aiyo, so old already still want the mickey mouse design.. how old liao".. If I was a cartoon, you might just see a red shade ascending from my neck to forehead. Totally embarassed! I was like "THANKS arh".. collect the tissue package from the guy still on the ladder, and walked away slowly. To exaggerate alittle, there was a large bead of perspiration on the back of my head.

See lar.. the type of things we do to each other, regardless of venue or time or public.

De one with Christmas Revisited

Festive Seasons

How was your Xmas 2009? Pardon for the late update. Well, Christmas didn't really turn out well as the Ippt ruined the festive feeling somehow or rather. Didn't pass it again due to my SBJ. Sigh. Anyway, I didn't get to go for any countdown.

But for what's good, the tribal gang proceeded with its annual Xmas outing. Clara volunteered to be event-organiser this year. I arrived late. Well, I wasn't feeling well anyway. Probably due to the over physical-exertion from all the remedial training and continual days of pushing myself to the limits. Gift exchange was well. I received Weicai's present again. That being an octagon box of chocolates. Haha. As usual, everyone darted Ivan's present. All because he said he dug it out from somewhere at home. Sigh. End up Weili got it! But it wasn't as bad as expected. It was this mug which had an external layer. You open the layer and out comes a strip of paper which enables you to color the pre-printed Snoopy characters and it circumferences the mug to look as though you painted the external surface of the mug yourself. A chance to create something on your own.

I got "Taboo" game (left, in courtesy of WhyGo TEFL) for Tribal gang exchange this year. Although the budget was 20 bucks, I cared none the less. It's the spirit of giving. So was the gift exchange for my colleagues. By chance, the person whom I choose was Yiwei. Got him a Raoul cufflinks which cost triple the budgeted 15 bucks (decided by all). But I wanted the gift to mean more, considering he has helped and guided me through my past 2 years of experience with the company.

It's an unspoken practice amongst our office to get presents for everyone, besides the gift exchange's. Last year I got candy canes. This year, I decided to bring "green" to office. Yes, as you can see above, I bought cactus! Everybody came asking how often they should water the plant. Haha.

I guess the best Christmas present have to go to this! I guess I've been a good boy this year, Santa decided to got someone to make my wish come true!! My long-searched and awaited display house for my deary Kris bears finally arrived! Wahaha.. Trillion cheers! (Sorry Clara, appreciate your gift. I recommended but the cologne only came 2nd runner up)

Was supposed to memorise the "12 days of Christmas song" today.. but don't know why it didn't materialise. Haha. I've been trying to get this song right for the past 5 years. Turns out every Christmas, only the melody incubated in mind, less the lyrics. "-"

Haha. Anyway, belated Merry Xmas to all! *grins*

De one with New Year

Stand still and look forward

The moment of anticipation with the night clock ticking. I believe a few silhouettes in the crowd shared the same anticipation, I "buoy" ("glanced" in Hokkien) and caught them looking at the fancy faces of their watches. Crayon slided on the Iphone to calculate how much longer before the agenda for the night occurs. Roughly half an hour ago, we grabbed Subway and coffee at Kallang Leisure Park, chatting in the chilly winds before we found our spot at the sands of Kallang Park (if I didn't get it wrong).

Nobody counted-down out loud. No beers for cheers. Just the two of us, sitting on our flip-flops and spending the most simple of times. We played the "Peeing" game and "Spot the Difference" on Crayon's Iphone until the first white-burst shot its splendor in the sky some 2km away, above the Kallang condos. Throughout the ceremonious display, Crayon was laughing, overly amused by the young Muds. Every firework which exploded in the stars-free skies never fails to be accompanied by a humoring "wahh.." or grasp by the Malay kids. Until one particular fair-skinned kid said "it's amazing" did Crayon stopped his laughter to commend he's impressed. Least to mention, it further purports his racism. Hah.

I've always liked fireworks. Though short-lived, it's stunning presence never fails to create the alluring, soft-envy in the hearts of many, and its significance of unexplainable, ceremonious-felicity set ablaze by varying pyrotechnics. It's captivating! Especially having it accompanied with music or quiet presence of someone dear. I recall the most memorable sight wasn't the fireworks at NDPs but rather, the magical and fantastic fireworks-display at HK Disneyland. Like a never-ending lullaby playing in your head, I couldn't cast the vision of Aladdin's Whole New World chorusing in the night, and the combustive-lights literally danced to the music. Totally melt my heart~ aww...  

 

As much as I enjoyed a spectacular night, part of me pondered how the rest of the people I cared about spent the mark to a brand new year. While sitting at the busstop in front of People's Association with Crayon who was inquiring the arrival of the bus, I took a private moment to wish all my guys, best wishes to a brand new year: No endeavors, just smooth sailing year. A year of joy ahead.

I never replied any well-wishes texts. This was since Christmas. Feeling unapologetic, I suppose you guys would understand my re-prioritising this december. Besides, I trust my heartfelt wishes (like a Priest in prayers) would meant more than electronic words appearing on your handphone screens.

New year's resolutions? Well, I wouldn't say much here because I didn't really have the time to think about it. Hence, pardon me for being unable to pen everything in here. For what's current, I hope my wishes as above-mentioned would come true for all that I love and care about. With that, a very happy, eventful and joy-enhanced new year to all you out there!  *winks*

Finishing is not the end but the start to new beginnings. I'm in luck this year! I mean, after all that's happened during the year: My poor health, remedial training, disappointing dates, I guess towards the end of the year, the bad were salvaged with Crayon who accomplished what I've yearned for during the beginning and throughout the calendar year. Eg. zoo trip, watching fireworks together. You'll be a Coca-cola, something that I foresee never fails to delight in 5 years to come! Coz you'll still be an "all-time favourite" on the life-menu . I feel... it is unlikely I'd ever get sick of you.

Of course, I appreciate having opened out myself to new friends whom I foresee sticking with me through years to come. You know who you are.. don't tear alright.. Hehe

My good friend Clara, who recently got promoted to "bestest friend", for being supportive of all my decisions and showing relentless concern despite her "life-depriving" work schedule. I've crystallized all my appreciation in the Swarovski Moomoo presented to you during Xmas. Hope our friendship would grow like age.

Chin Yu, congrats on your new found love. Thanks for hanging out and your suggestions on helping me get fitter. Lol.

Shuqing. My "sister" who I adore so much. Deepest gratitude and graceful congratulations on your forthcoming wedding. Ooh, is that the distant bells I've hearing in my ear? Hehe. Don't worry, I'll do anything, sing or be your best "Man-of-honour" if the occasion arises. And hmm.. we've been talking for almost 2 years and yet to meet!

Dearest Mohan, regardless of where or how buzzy you are, I missed the good old coffee chats, b*tching sessions and shopping trips. Are we still getting our condo together?

De one with Know-Getting

Passing clouds

Once upon a time, someone who impacted me greatly left me a philosophical phrase: "It takes years to get to know a person skin-deep". As much as this is true, I strongly believe it's tough but never a challenge. It takes two to tango, I guess if people are willing, effective communications and self-motivation to get-to-know people around us, especially the ones of affections, would prove viable, even against all odds.

It's pretty disheartedly because most of the time, we are unable to persevere the pace and efforts which deteriorates because we fail to get the responses we need.. perhaps due to lack of trust.. perhaps the cessation of infatuation/ interest..

I used to be every bothered for someone who treasures bondings. Well, perhaps I've learned to be easy-going and this recently adopted personality has transcended the idea of loosening persistence on getting to know people skin deep. It doesn't mean I've given up. I begun to realise I shouldn't be concerned. Watering a plant doesn't mean it would bloom flowers.

I'm still learning. And hopefully, someone out there would appreciate. Never regret not trying coz I've efforted enough.

De one with Phoenix

Metaphorically resurrection

Someone ever asked what's a spirit. Almost instinctively, "life" surfaces to mind... the "after-life" for the timid. Others relate it to a form of "motivational force". Webster provides 10 academic definitions, these encompass the earlier mentioned as well as others. For example, "dispositions of specified nature", "alcoholic solution" (which doesn't draw much relation to the content of this blog entry), "enthusiastic loyalty".

(In courtesy of webDesignerWall)

Honestly, I don't have a brilliant answer. If I had, I supposed even the Pope would come visit me. *palms up* No offense. Just kid-talking. Nevertheless, if asked for a personal opinion, the closest metaphor which comes to my mind would be the Phoenix. This mythical creature burns itself at the end of its life of five-ten folds centuries, and gets reborn again. It's resurrection or the recurrence of life after death. It's... perpetual! Likewise how I feel about Spirit - its indefinite in nature regardless of context-in-use.

We experienced failures and loss somewhere along the path of life. Some generalise these as rough patches. Nevertheless, it causes use distress and/or disappointment. But I guess having the spirit in use inclines us towards optimistic perspectives, for some it provides us the strength to achieve our desired goals.

I failed my IPPT attempt again. Consequences are my remedial trainings' gonna be upped by one more per week. I wouldn't deny its gonna be a waste of time. Despite everybody's encouragement, I feel alittle pinched with disappointment. Well, as much as I'm appreciative, I suppose its my bad and I ought to put in more effort to restore better physical conditions. Nevermind, 加油! 加油!!

I shouldn't discredit other areas which have turned out for the better. I recall weeks ago there were other grey clouds. Was expecting the silver linings to resurface but godsend-gold borealis smeared across the clearing skies instead. I m glad. Very.

(In courtesy of Phoenix Intelligent Support Service)

The exquisite stretched its glorified wings of gold and scarlet red. It took flight instantly, leaving nothing but a trace of magical, inky dust from its magnificent passionately-burning plumage.

De one with Enchantment

A Jonas Brothers Tribute

"There's gotta be a million reasons why it's true
When you look me in the eyes
And tell me that you love me.
Everything's.. alright when you're right here by my side..

When you look me in the eyes,
I catch a glimpse of heaven.
I find.. my paradise when you look me in the eyes.

I'm gonna tell you that I love you, in the best way I can

You're the light that make my darkness disappear
When I hold you in my arms, I know that it's forever.
I just got to let you know I never wanna let you go
When you look me in the eyes."

De one with Need To

You I need to grow up and
I really need to fuc*king get a grip of myself...

De one with After Awhile

Rain is over

(In courtesy of A Response to the Everyday @ Tumblr blog)

Can't help but ponder, what the big problem with Fann Wong getting H1N1? I mean months ago, there were millions of people who contracted that. Haha. Cheap thrills of celebrity-hoohaa.

Just watched a guy on Channel 8, proposing to his girlfriend. The set up at the beach was good; the safety ring buoy idea was great; the lilies were alluring; the content of the message in a capsule was heart-moving.. but "maybe sometimes love just ain't enough".. so sad...

Omg, massacre of about 46 humans at the southern island of Mindanao, believed to be the work powerful Ampatuan family made it imperative for a state of emergency. Man... militant powers. Weapons of destruction. Corruption sucks.

Ahhh.. ain't it amazing what watching the news can do? The H1N1 vaccine are causing dire side effects.. these include neusea, body aches and swelling. See lar... rush for it for what... I recalled my uncle and aunt encouraging us to have ourselves vaccinated during the time it was out. I wonder if the vaccine is a cure / curse?

Aiyo.. I am watching this "Tuesday Report" which features this guy, Wai Choy. Therein mentions a story about his grandmother and him. There was particularly this part of the story which mentioned about how much the granny loves him, that she didn't wish him to leave for overseas studies. She cut his beloved (fashion) jeans, tricked him into submitting the acceptance letter from an Art's college which the ambitious grandson applied for, torn the letter to shreds so that he'd never leave. To the young, perhaps we'd be very pissed why this grandma like that, so conservative and obstructing dreams and horizons to bright futures. To our parents, they'd understand why the old lady did so.. not implying I'm old but I couldn't agree more... the granny's love for the grandson was so great, she didn't want her loved one to leave her. Perhaps the grandson was all she had. Perhaps. But that genuine love, it is beyond any words to describe.

Everybody must be wondering where have I disappeared to. Well, I've been busy with work till late at night so I could finish what would take two working days to complete. Perhaps my efforts to keep myself busy so I wouldn't feel bored. Perhaps these are acts out of guilt for taking so much leave and medical leave during the year. Regardless, I am contented, living life to the fullest.

A little time away, a bit of b*tching, abit of sweetness-recap, a bit of empathy, a bit of heart-warming, abit of explaining. Bits and pieces after awhile. I suppose these reads superior than long-windeded stories.

De one with Untitled

Moody

"You cannot write or read lost... you can only feel lost." Yes, lost is what I am feeling. Else, there seems to be nothing that I can feel anymore.

James told me I shouldn't think too much. I think everybody else would advise the exact and same. True, everything would brighten up, I'm just effusing this aura of negativity which I could not help but be immersed in.

Looks like it is the end, but it's not. The question is.. should I or should I not.

De one with On the Loose

Raining

Chin Yu advised me during my exam-preparation period, should I ever feel bored or stressed, I could go out strolling or indulged my time window shopping. Well, I hesitate everytime I consent to taking up the suggestion. The question is.. why right?

No better illustration than today. I came home with 6 items. There is wine, hair conditioner, facial products, shower gel and tarts from Food Paradise.

 Just look at that? It's as though it is "anime-ted food"

Omg. I should control this shopping freak in me man...

De one with Post Exam Weekends

Standard but not so standard

Like I said, "before examinations, the mind was buzzling with tonnes of stuff to execute. after examinations, every neuro-space is a ghost town". To make things worse as though it hadn't been worst enough, those who were close to me seemed to have flown away. James left for KL, Clara followed suit to some place in M'sia. LW's in Holland. I was contemplating, what the... should have informed me earlier, I'd have pretty much wanted to do the same. Nevermind, sigh.. I shall see to my travel plans during next year.

I attended Ivan's grandpa's wake, you know, friends' support with attendence - the least I could do. Plus giving a token for financial relieve. Trust me, funeral's charges are high these days. I didn't know what to feel. Just empathesise. Deep inside, there was a part of me totally familiar with what's going on. I knew how it felt to lose a loved one, how late nights were spent on folding incense paper, how we should entertain and be grateful to those who came, when to submit our condolence. But I was humble, pretending like I'm a newbie and just sitting there, asking Ivan how is his family and himself coping. I didn't stay too long, because I was all alone there. Jielong didn't turn up at our agreed time. And I left to Bugis.

Tea with Hendri was the nicest thing that happened during the weekend. Though he was a little tired but I appreciated and enjoyed chatting with him. I had my favourite Perfect Match latte from TeaDot. The sweet aroma of vanilla, sugar and tea, the adjustingly right air-condition temperature, the cosy velvet-covered chair, the warm lights, Olivia singing "Favourite things" and light-listening songs. I told Hendri if it was drizzling outside, it would have been perfect.

Well, went to Orchard, and something that never happened, actually event itself. Saturday night crowd, it depresses me. I never felt this when I was with Clara, James or anybody. Just tonight, it's so depressing.

I knew I had to get outta house on a Sunday. Was supposed to head back to work but I guess I just wanted another day off. Of course, this would mean I'll have all the time to be emo for now and afterward, I'll be working my a** off for coming week.

Woke up from my nap, then I showered, replied some messages and texts before I got flowers for my Mummy and Jimson. No white roses and lavenders. Got lilies with baby's breath. But nonetheless, white. I enjoyed private time. Visits to the memorium was one of the times I could be myself, unscrew the "cap" and pour out the gushing feelings in my heart to my confidente. And I just sat there, sipping on my vendored green tea, immerse myself in tranquility as I sob till I grew tired from an emptied heart.

Anyway, the taxi driver drove me around the expressways on my way to the memorial. He missed all the necessary turns, overshot exits. It took me almost 20 minutes to arrive at the destination when it should have taken 10 minutes. I sighed, I was supposed to lose my temper. But I didn't. So what if I did. It won't fetch me there earlier. But the driver was repentant, he discounted $5 off the metered-fare. I was thankful. 

And that was how an uneventful weekend went, following my exams.  :]

De one with Movie on Friday

Humid

I thought she was gonna be a vampire, one that's running loose around campus. *slap forehead* Turns out she actually a possessed evil plainly because she was a non-virgin sacrifice for some sick, fame-obssessed group of guys who called themselves "Low Shoulder".

Yes, if you've watched the show, you'd have guessed which movie am I referring to. Anyway, the actress, she's pretty hot. And that coming from me, she's truly gotta be. But there was this very intelligent scene during the movie when she was kissing her best friend. I believe such scenes is rich and powerful. Without background music, it is "action-packed" enough to catch one's undivided attention. The reason? As much as I'm curious of the definite term for description, personally.. I think everybody's holding their breath as they watch the forbidden kiss. A moment our moral are pushed to the fence, the saturation point between right and wrong. I was thinking "goodness, are they going to do it".. "maybe yes..maybe not.." and yes the lips confirmed my doubt.

Francis and I came to a common opinion that the show was just alright. He said there were no hunks. I thought Chad had a gorgeous smile. But the actress was hot lar...

Before our movie, everywhere was super crowded. Man, why didn't the economic crisis hit them for a few hours when I am out to dine? We tried the Japanese restaurant at Cathay's ground level, Manhattan Fish-market at Plaza Sg, glasshouse Fish & Co., all super duper packed with queues (gurh, I hate queues). Francis suggest we had Sakae @ Parkmall. And even that kept us waiting for almost half an hour for available seats. Then the food came slow. For a moment, I was a tiny-weeny regretful about being their member.

Well, Friday.. work resumes. Big crowds. Everybody's going overseas.