Hot, hot, hot!
Everyone gets very excite over NDP. Previously, people will queue overnight at National Stadium, desperately hopeful of getting their NDP tickets and of course, a "fong fu" goodie bag.. for others, to be a part of the grand celebration!
However, times have changed, so does administration and organisation changes. For example, to address the disappointment of people who spent overnight end up getting not even one ticket. The idea of balloting for NDP through AXS, was introduced. They said.. in this way, it allows every Singaporean to get a chance in lifetime to be able to participate in NDP. Yes, it does solve the trouble of preventing vain efforts and disappointment of people who queued overnight. However, seriously I think the idea about creating a fair-play is not really that effective bah. Oops. Maybe it hasn't been happening to me and people I've known.
Anyway, what doesn't change is the anticipation of the most spectacular Fireworks display. As all of us would know, it's only during NDP that Singaporeans get to see beautiful fireworks locally. It's really romantic. Imagine watching it with your loved one, along the river-side walkway. Keeping quiet, just enjoying the amazing sight of fireworks display. More than ever, enjoying the accompany of your lover. Ooo... simply overly passionately romantic.
Other than that, I guess what most people won't wanna miss will be the respectful Marching Contigent formation. Parade, definately isn't what most public get to see. Especially if one is not even involved in NS. What most people don't really realise is the actual pain of having to stand at "serdiya" (attention) position for such a long time. Omg. Personally, I experienced this during my SYF while we wait for our results. Sigh. The pain is having to stand at attention, "stomach in, chest out", "chin up".. and not being able to figid as the beads of prespiration tickle down your nose-bridge and eye corner. Hehe.. You fear that if you move, you might ruin the uniformed formation and worst, draw someone's attention and get criticised.
Well.. I guess every Singaporean have had their chance of being not just the majority role of being an audience but also, a performer in NDP sometime in their life. For me, I remembered I was in Secondary 2 when my military band combined with Deyi band to perform an pre-parade item. It was a great deal. We started practising months before the actual parade. Still recall the days of long-hour practice under the hot sun, rain and drizzle, at Khatib Camp. Haha.. I been to my camp, even before I've enlisted and got posted there after SISPEC. What an unexpected coincidence!
Well, I don't really like performing at National Stadium. Mainly because of the undesirable echos you get, disrupting your ability to get which is the correct original music. It really demands you to concentrate and be alert enough to recognise which is the true music from the abyss of tempo-varied sounds.
Everything have a good and bad part. Now I shall share a down-side. I recalled during NDP during my jc1. Since my parents were off to watch NDP live. I was at home. I had a quarrel with my 1st ex until we were on the verge of break up. Silly enough, I got overly depressed, I love my 1st ex so much, i attempted suicide. Shameful but I lost my rationality and popped 20 Anti-fast panadols pills with E-30 Alcohol. The next morning, I didn't die. However, I got really into a worse condition of vomitting continuously and suffered from severe dehydration. I recalled my parents sent me to visit the neighbourhood clinic. The doctor asked me why. I was thinking, I should tell him what I consumed in order for him to prescribed the right medication for me. I remembered I just act blur when he asked why I did such a foolish thing.
What really hurt me and shattered my heart was... my ex didn't care much.
*sob*
Nah.. I shouldn't cry. Well.. it's just one of those really foolish and stupid things I do in the past.
Well well, I guess that's enough. It's National Day! HAPPY NATIONAL DAY to all (especially Sweet, the one who matters most to me now) and Singapore!
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
De one with Love-r-ly
Bright Sunny day
Today is a reeeaally significant day! Sweet and I finally exchanged our vows and couple rings today! Initially, we planned to do this special ocassion on our Monthiversay next week. However, both of us lover-birds just couldn't wait! It was a really really extremely fun, informal way of doing it. Yet, we followed the normal procedure like those couples dawn their rings on a formal wedding.
I feel so blessed. With soaring joy, so much my heart was singing. Mind went floating. Oops! hehe
As i've told Sweet earlier, we stepped on another stage of relationship. Binding us closer, cementing our deep love. It's been very successful, from our very first kiss, first fun time till now. Both of us were really happy over today.
Oh, a continual for yesterday's blog. We did manage to have our engravement hiccup resovlved. All was Sweet's brilliant idea. In the end, everything was even made easier since we bummed into the same female assistant who served us yesterday at different brunch (which we went to).
What a fortunate event, we didn't have to pay for another ring.
We ate claypot dishes with rice at AMK ave 10 hawker this evening. Sweet ordered Asiam Fish while I ordered Sesame Flavoured Chicken. Hehe.. the fish was was stingray fish. Since the chicken were those chopped chicken which i find it pretty hard to eat. I drank most of the sauce. Ate a mouthful of fish of Sweet's. It's so delicious, we even wanted to try again sometime soon!
Not forgetting to mention, afternoon Sweet and I lunched at Gela`re. Had the famous large waffle with maple syrup and two scoops of ice-cream (Vanilla Chocolate and Raspberry). Mmmh.. Yummy!
Today morning was my first marketing lecture with our local lecturer, Patricia Chia. Abit of embarrassing moment. You see, early morning before the lecture started, we were collecting our fresh lecture notes. She was behind me, requesting for a copy. Out of pure goodwill, I gave her one. Unexpectedly, when she went through the lecture notes with the class, she realised hers was not-completed. Omg. Zhen Ze was making fun of me, reminding that I was the person who passed her the lecture notes. Omg. Oops.
Hehe, after lecture, when I board bus 61 to meet Sweet, there's this guy who board the bus from the same stop. However his EZ link card was missing. Sigh. I was thinking, why am i witnessing so many other people's unlucky happening.
What a jinx I felt in the beginning of the day. (Erm.. Hope my closest friend Clara is feeling better now). Thankfully, it changed for the way-better after I met Sweet! Perpetual "Love 4Eve". Cross thy heart.
Today is a reeeaally significant day! Sweet and I finally exchanged our vows and couple rings today! Initially, we planned to do this special ocassion on our Monthiversay next week. However, both of us lover-birds just couldn't wait! It was a really really extremely fun, informal way of doing it. Yet, we followed the normal procedure like those couples dawn their rings on a formal wedding.
I feel so blessed. With soaring joy, so much my heart was singing. Mind went floating. Oops! hehe
As i've told Sweet earlier, we stepped on another stage of relationship. Binding us closer, cementing our deep love. It's been very successful, from our very first kiss, first fun time till now. Both of us were really happy over today.
Oh, a continual for yesterday's blog. We did manage to have our engravement hiccup resovlved. All was Sweet's brilliant idea. In the end, everything was even made easier since we bummed into the same female assistant who served us yesterday at different brunch (which we went to).
What a fortunate event, we didn't have to pay for another ring.
We ate claypot dishes with rice at AMK ave 10 hawker this evening. Sweet ordered Asiam Fish while I ordered Sesame Flavoured Chicken. Hehe.. the fish was was stingray fish. Since the chicken were those chopped chicken which i find it pretty hard to eat. I drank most of the sauce. Ate a mouthful of fish of Sweet's. It's so delicious, we even wanted to try again sometime soon!
Not forgetting to mention, afternoon Sweet and I lunched at Gela`re. Had the famous large waffle with maple syrup and two scoops of ice-cream (Vanilla Chocolate and Raspberry). Mmmh.. Yummy!
Today morning was my first marketing lecture with our local lecturer, Patricia Chia. Abit of embarrassing moment. You see, early morning before the lecture started, we were collecting our fresh lecture notes. She was behind me, requesting for a copy. Out of pure goodwill, I gave her one. Unexpectedly, when she went through the lecture notes with the class, she realised hers was not-completed. Omg. Zhen Ze was making fun of me, reminding that I was the person who passed her the lecture notes. Omg. Oops.
Hehe, after lecture, when I board bus 61 to meet Sweet, there's this guy who board the bus from the same stop. However his EZ link card was missing. Sigh. I was thinking, why am i witnessing so many other people's unlucky happening.
What a jinx I felt in the beginning of the day. (Erm.. Hope my closest friend Clara is feeling better now). Thankfully, it changed for the way-better after I met Sweet! Perpetual "Love 4Eve". Cross thy heart.
Monday, August 07, 2006
De one with "Care for present, not worry about Future"
Humid day
Today's Monday. Thankfully my 4-day school week is beginning. Thus, I didn't have to go to school today since I don't have computing class which falls on every Thursday.
Sweet went to see 911 Family Clinic at Sweet's house nearby. And I mean really nearby. Just come down from Sweet's block and walked up a sheltered walkway and wahla! There's the clinic. Really very sorry about meeting Sweet late. Despite pressing time-constrains concerns faced by Sweet, I still went jogging, blogged and did my time-table. End up, I arrived late at Sweet's place.
:: Really sorry!
Apparantly, the day didn't start off very well. First of all, Sweet was trying best to talk to me nice and soft but I was pretty harsh in my tone of speaking. Sigh. Then what could be worse when I messaged Sweet, trying to explain why I was late, why I did all those activities despite the time contraints and cautious assurance to Sweet how much Sweet matters to me. Only to lead to a misunderstanding of my implication (which I swear I didn't mean it) of me wanting to have more personal space. Sweet even start to feel that i'm giving up.
:: Sweet, I really shouldn't have said that. I can assure you that I'll never give up on you.
I suggested the both of us have Pepper Lunch at Ngee Ann City. Ooh.. Sweet was on a "no meat diet today". Therefore, Sweet ordered a Salmon Pepper Rice. While I order my usual Chicken Steak Combo. While enjoying, we kinda patched things up. Actually, it was Sweet who initiated. I feel so blissed. We communicate by writing on our soveits.
We bought our couple rings today. However there was a disappointing turn of events when we realised the engravement was wrong on our way back in the bus. Sweet was so deeply sorry. Kept saying it's Sweet's fault and apologising. I just try to lighten up the atmosphere. Keep laughing and taking it easy-going in attempt to make Sweet feel less self-blaming.
No doubt sometimes I don't deny that I feel very scared of Sweet being angry. However, everytime I feel Sweet's genuine care and true love towards me, it make me feel assured that I'm going to stick with Sweet and bear whatever Sweet scold, used harsh words on me.. Sometimes I do become unconfident (which puts Sweet off everytime) but I know it's unquestionable, that our feelings for each other is deep and honest.
I'll always bear in mind what my best friend Mohan said to me before. Don't worry about what's not there or the future. But rather, enjoy and appreciate the current wonderfuls I have in present.
Today's Monday. Thankfully my 4-day school week is beginning. Thus, I didn't have to go to school today since I don't have computing class which falls on every Thursday.
Sweet went to see 911 Family Clinic at Sweet's house nearby. And I mean really nearby. Just come down from Sweet's block and walked up a sheltered walkway and wahla! There's the clinic. Really very sorry about meeting Sweet late. Despite pressing time-constrains concerns faced by Sweet, I still went jogging, blogged and did my time-table. End up, I arrived late at Sweet's place.
:: Really sorry!
Apparantly, the day didn't start off very well. First of all, Sweet was trying best to talk to me nice and soft but I was pretty harsh in my tone of speaking. Sigh. Then what could be worse when I messaged Sweet, trying to explain why I was late, why I did all those activities despite the time contraints and cautious assurance to Sweet how much Sweet matters to me. Only to lead to a misunderstanding of my implication (which I swear I didn't mean it) of me wanting to have more personal space. Sweet even start to feel that i'm giving up.
:: Sweet, I really shouldn't have said that. I can assure you that I'll never give up on you.
I suggested the both of us have Pepper Lunch at Ngee Ann City. Ooh.. Sweet was on a "no meat diet today". Therefore, Sweet ordered a Salmon Pepper Rice. While I order my usual Chicken Steak Combo. While enjoying, we kinda patched things up. Actually, it was Sweet who initiated. I feel so blissed. We communicate by writing on our soveits.
We bought our couple rings today. However there was a disappointing turn of events when we realised the engravement was wrong on our way back in the bus. Sweet was so deeply sorry. Kept saying it's Sweet's fault and apologising. I just try to lighten up the atmosphere. Keep laughing and taking it easy-going in attempt to make Sweet feel less self-blaming.
No doubt sometimes I don't deny that I feel very scared of Sweet being angry. However, everytime I feel Sweet's genuine care and true love towards me, it make me feel assured that I'm going to stick with Sweet and bear whatever Sweet scold, used harsh words on me.. Sometimes I do become unconfident (which puts Sweet off everytime) but I know it's unquestionable, that our feelings for each other is deep and honest.
I'll always bear in mind what my best friend Mohan said to me before. Don't worry about what's not there or the future. But rather, enjoy and appreciate the current wonderfuls I have in present.
De one with "It's finally Weekend!" [Part 2]
So-so weather
Saturday. I attempted my very first time, skippin 1/3 of my Macroeconomics class. Omg. Guessed I must have had inadequate sleep the yesterday night, resulting in me nearly dozing off in class. Anyway, Sweet messaged me to ask if I was feeling guilty. I didn't feel so. Simply because I really didn't understand what the lecturer was talking about. It wasn't constructive. Hmmm.. his lecture was like a lullaby. But part of the reason was because I'm eager to meet Sweet!
I met Sweet at Sweet's house void deck since Sweet didn't like the idea of coming down to my school's busstop. Well, give it to Sweet. Soon enough, we met up and took a bus down to Orchard Road to get my facial moisturiser from Isetan Wisma. After which we grab some bite at Takashimaya's Crystal Jade Cakery and a donut store respectively. This was when we first had our first minor argument of the day. Sweet was worked up over me not telling earlier that I wanted to grab a bit at the Taka's shopping centre's "food corner". Otherwise, Sweet won't have brought at Crystal Jade's. Partly I guess was because I was really blocking other customers' way in the bakery. So I went outside to wait. Leaving Sweet alone in there, deprived of my accompany.
Talking about the most "intensive" event of the day. Sweet and I had a dispute. Sweet was super-dopper PISSED with something super offensive, demoralising and sensitive. You see, I was afraid when I didn't say things which I've said. That's why I said it. To Sweet, it was a real insult and Sweet took it as me having to speak without channelling through my brain. Sigh. Well, that wasn't the main reason why Sweet was super PISSED. IT was mainly due to me not consoling or dealing with the post-situation. In my perspective, I was just dealing the situation as what Sweet have told me before everytime there's a dispute. Which was to leave Sweet alone to calm down. Sigh. Obviously it didn't work. Sweet was pissed. We remained like this until we were in the cinema, watching "Click". I purposely brought Sweet's favourite Nacho's combo. And different from all the other days when we watched movies. I ordered Diet Coke despite it's against my habit of not drinking gassy-drinks. Sweet pushed the Nachos to me, saying "I didn't order this". The mild frustration took me over, I ruined the Nachos, causing the Nachos to mix with the cheese. Well, I apologised, through sms, that I was sorry over my non-chalantic attitude. Patched up by the end of the movie.
Oh. "Click". The movie was generally enjoyable. All in all, morale of the story was about remiinding us not to be too caught up with our ambition, desires and work but taking time and effort to appreciate and treasure beautiful aspects in life like family and taking things slow. The movie depicts a architect who recieved this remote control from "the angel of death" during his visit to a unsatisfying departmental store. He realised the wonders of the remote control, amazed by the fast-forward time events, ability to get whatever he wants and desires in life, all in the "click" of the remote control. However, the cons of this ability to control and get whatever he wants, started to come in. There was a loss of control over the remote, landing the lead-actor into the later years of his life in different varietion. It was all like revolving around the idea of someone being given a view into the future kinda story line.
Sweet and I had our 2nd indulgence into "crazy food" at MacPherson eating house. We tried new stuff, erm.. except the "nong hiam" retained. We ate a delicious $5-"Hokkien Mee" (our common favourite food), "popiah" and fruit juices to compensate some healthiness into sinful indulgence. Hehe.
Sweet and I went for a very late brunch at Ang Mo Kio. Had the famous curry puff and a disappointing bak chor mee at the S11 near MacDonalds. We ordered our usual: Waffle from Prima Deli bakery. Then.. when Sweet went for toilet at MacDonalds, we quarrelled again. It was a real miscommunication. Sweet just "detonated" in front of me. I appreciate Sweet's genuine care with 9 missed calls. However, I was like "what the fark". I didn't know a single thing, all I did was sat in MacDonalds and waited. Failing to even see you coming out of the toilet, whihc resulted you finding everywhere for me. Here you are, pouring your frustrated anger on me.
:: Sigh. I'm getting kinda worried. Will all these "short-fused" quarrels, disagreement and argument deteriorate our relationship as the years go by?
Saturday. I attempted my very first time, skippin 1/3 of my Macroeconomics class. Omg. Guessed I must have had inadequate sleep the yesterday night, resulting in me nearly dozing off in class. Anyway, Sweet messaged me to ask if I was feeling guilty. I didn't feel so. Simply because I really didn't understand what the lecturer was talking about. It wasn't constructive. Hmmm.. his lecture was like a lullaby. But part of the reason was because I'm eager to meet Sweet!
I met Sweet at Sweet's house void deck since Sweet didn't like the idea of coming down to my school's busstop. Well, give it to Sweet. Soon enough, we met up and took a bus down to Orchard Road to get my facial moisturiser from Isetan Wisma. After which we grab some bite at Takashimaya's Crystal Jade Cakery and a donut store respectively. This was when we first had our first minor argument of the day. Sweet was worked up over me not telling earlier that I wanted to grab a bit at the Taka's shopping centre's "food corner". Otherwise, Sweet won't have brought at Crystal Jade's. Partly I guess was because I was really blocking other customers' way in the bakery. So I went outside to wait. Leaving Sweet alone in there, deprived of my accompany.
Talking about the most "intensive" event of the day. Sweet and I had a dispute. Sweet was super-dopper PISSED with something super offensive, demoralising and sensitive. You see, I was afraid when I didn't say things which I've said. That's why I said it. To Sweet, it was a real insult and Sweet took it as me having to speak without channelling through my brain. Sigh. Well, that wasn't the main reason why Sweet was super PISSED. IT was mainly due to me not consoling or dealing with the post-situation. In my perspective, I was just dealing the situation as what Sweet have told me before everytime there's a dispute. Which was to leave Sweet alone to calm down. Sigh. Obviously it didn't work. Sweet was pissed. We remained like this until we were in the cinema, watching "Click". I purposely brought Sweet's favourite Nacho's combo. And different from all the other days when we watched movies. I ordered Diet Coke despite it's against my habit of not drinking gassy-drinks. Sweet pushed the Nachos to me, saying "I didn't order this". The mild frustration took me over, I ruined the Nachos, causing the Nachos to mix with the cheese. Well, I apologised, through sms, that I was sorry over my non-chalantic attitude. Patched up by the end of the movie.
Oh. "Click". The movie was generally enjoyable. All in all, morale of the story was about remiinding us not to be too caught up with our ambition, desires and work but taking time and effort to appreciate and treasure beautiful aspects in life like family and taking things slow. The movie depicts a architect who recieved this remote control from "the angel of death" during his visit to a unsatisfying departmental store. He realised the wonders of the remote control, amazed by the fast-forward time events, ability to get whatever he wants and desires in life, all in the "click" of the remote control. However, the cons of this ability to control and get whatever he wants, started to come in. There was a loss of control over the remote, landing the lead-actor into the later years of his life in different varietion. It was all like revolving around the idea of someone being given a view into the future kinda story line.
Sweet and I had our 2nd indulgence into "crazy food" at MacPherson eating house. We tried new stuff, erm.. except the "nong hiam" retained. We ate a delicious $5-"Hokkien Mee" (our common favourite food), "popiah" and fruit juices to compensate some healthiness into sinful indulgence. Hehe.
Sweet and I went for a very late brunch at Ang Mo Kio. Had the famous curry puff and a disappointing bak chor mee at the S11 near MacDonalds. We ordered our usual: Waffle from Prima Deli bakery. Then.. when Sweet went for toilet at MacDonalds, we quarrelled again. It was a real miscommunication. Sweet just "detonated" in front of me. I appreciate Sweet's genuine care with 9 missed calls. However, I was like "what the fark". I didn't know a single thing, all I did was sat in MacDonalds and waited. Failing to even see you coming out of the toilet, whihc resulted you finding everywhere for me. Here you are, pouring your frustrated anger on me.
:: Sigh. I'm getting kinda worried. Will all these "short-fused" quarrels, disagreement and argument deteriorate our relationship as the years go by?
Saturday, August 05, 2006
De one with "It's finally Weekend!"
Windy
You know what? It's finally week end! Thank goodness. After a week at school and i must admit, i'm really looking forward to this week end because it's a real get-away from all those intensive 3-hr lectures i have per day. Omg. Hmm.. it's been awhile since my last blog. *Oops*
Well well, life's going good but abit stressful than ever. Yesterday, I attended Kok Sin's birthday chalet at Downtown East. Phew! He over-ordered his BBQ stuff. We were like eating our fill and more than that, understanding and empathising his difficulty (of surplus leftovers) and efforts.
I must admit this was the BBQ session in which i was most hardworking *pat pat*
I peng hung for quite a long time. What an achievement. In addition that those food i cooked is not only edible but tasty..heh Kidding. It's ok-tasting lah. Or maybe it's just the quality of the catered food.
Anyway, went home very late yesterday. Didn't have much time to read up before my lecture today. Plus I had to do research for my marketing assignment project, which i only remembered when i got back.
Well.. Marketing assignment project... We're getting to start. For now, not much of discussion. Just a few during our in-between lecture breaks. So so.. got lots to be done.
Can you believe it! Saturday still have to attend lectures at school. Sigh. Hmm... next weekend too. Lessons for the whole day somemore. Sigh. Intended to skip but Sweet was pretty strict over my ill-thoughts about this. Thanks Sweet for your concern. I love you.
Hmm.. the rest? hehe.. catch up on my next blog. Oops..getting late for school!
You know what? It's finally week end! Thank goodness. After a week at school and i must admit, i'm really looking forward to this week end because it's a real get-away from all those intensive 3-hr lectures i have per day. Omg. Hmm.. it's been awhile since my last blog. *Oops*
Well well, life's going good but abit stressful than ever. Yesterday, I attended Kok Sin's birthday chalet at Downtown East. Phew! He over-ordered his BBQ stuff. We were like eating our fill and more than that, understanding and empathising his difficulty (of surplus leftovers) and efforts.
I must admit this was the BBQ session in which i was most hardworking *pat pat*
I peng hung for quite a long time. What an achievement. In addition that those food i cooked is not only edible but tasty..heh Kidding. It's ok-tasting lah. Or maybe it's just the quality of the catered food.
Anyway, went home very late yesterday. Didn't have much time to read up before my lecture today. Plus I had to do research for my marketing assignment project, which i only remembered when i got back.
Well.. Marketing assignment project... We're getting to start. For now, not much of discussion. Just a few during our in-between lecture breaks. So so.. got lots to be done.
Can you believe it! Saturday still have to attend lectures at school. Sigh. Hmm... next weekend too. Lessons for the whole day somemore. Sigh. Intended to skip but Sweet was pretty strict over my ill-thoughts about this. Thanks Sweet for your concern. I love you.
Hmm.. the rest? hehe.. catch up on my next blog. Oops..getting late for school!
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
De one with Sweet [Emolings]
No words can describe how much I love you
Sweet, I just want very much to tell you the following too. Partly it's because of my guilt, for saying this out-front and my undeniable inability to express myself openly. Since I tend to keep most matters in my heart.
I'm really Sorry for those which I have yet and what I can't provide and achieve for you. However, i'm willing to try my ulmost best to strive, just to see that smile on your radient face... create that drip of eternal happiness glowing from within the bottom of your caring and benevolent heart.
I'm a Leo. However, sadly, my birthday falls very near to Virgo. Perhaps it's because of this, that I'm also very in need of constant assurance, protection and understanding. I can be pretty overly-sensitive at times. Thus, whatever you mentioned about your nature as a Capricorn, I'm able to understand those faint side of the soul.
I, Jason Lek, really love you. I can promise to compensate my facial and verbal inexpressionism with my sincere actions of affection. 2ndly, you deserve more than anyone (besides my immediate family members) my undying eternal love, passion and affection. I'll promise that it will never cease or deteriorate but only improve, from the very first day till the never-coming and unforseenable end. 3rdly, please accept my obstinate need I feel within, as a bf, to care and support you, be it emotionally, physically, mentally or financially.
I wouldn't deny that I'm unable to pluck the stars, climb the highest mountain, swim the deepest sea or practically travel till the ends of world with you. However, I'll be more than willing to make whatever possible, within my means, to make the impossible possible to the best of my capability. And most importantly, I can die for you. Sounds cheesy, mushy, exaggerating or unbelievable.. but I will..serious.
No words can describe how much I love you, adore you, genuinely care for you.
No "I love you" in the countless internationally translation or the kisses we share every dusk and dawn can measure up to the limitless, undivided and pure wholehearted love Jason Lek has for you, Sweet heart. You matter a great deal to me.
Simply because I really love you. Now and forever.
Sweet, I just want very much to tell you the following too. Partly it's because of my guilt, for saying this out-front and my undeniable inability to express myself openly. Since I tend to keep most matters in my heart.
I'm really Sorry for those which I have yet and what I can't provide and achieve for you. However, i'm willing to try my ulmost best to strive, just to see that smile on your radient face... create that drip of eternal happiness glowing from within the bottom of your caring and benevolent heart.
I'm a Leo. However, sadly, my birthday falls very near to Virgo. Perhaps it's because of this, that I'm also very in need of constant assurance, protection and understanding. I can be pretty overly-sensitive at times. Thus, whatever you mentioned about your nature as a Capricorn, I'm able to understand those faint side of the soul.
I, Jason Lek, really love you. I can promise to compensate my facial and verbal inexpressionism with my sincere actions of affection. 2ndly, you deserve more than anyone (besides my immediate family members) my undying eternal love, passion and affection. I'll promise that it will never cease or deteriorate but only improve, from the very first day till the never-coming and unforseenable end. 3rdly, please accept my obstinate need I feel within, as a bf, to care and support you, be it emotionally, physically, mentally or financially.
I wouldn't deny that I'm unable to pluck the stars, climb the highest mountain, swim the deepest sea or practically travel till the ends of world with you. However, I'll be more than willing to make whatever possible, within my means, to make the impossible possible to the best of my capability. And most importantly, I can die for you. Sounds cheesy, mushy, exaggerating or unbelievable.. but I will..serious.
No words can describe how much I love you, adore you, genuinely care for you.
No "I love you" in the countless internationally translation or the kisses we share every dusk and dawn can measure up to the limitless, undivided and pure wholehearted love Jason Lek has for you, Sweet heart. You matter a great deal to me.
Simply because I really love you. Now and forever.
De one with 2nd Day at SIM
Rising temperatures
Today was a rather short but kinda miserable day at school. Although early in the morning I was super early to arrive at SIM around 0930hrs. 15 mins earlier than i was supposed to meet Zhen Ze. This was due to my very first time making my trip to SIM on bus 74. I left house before 9am. By 0902 am i was already at the neighbourhood busstop. It didn't start to panick me until the time was 0905am and bus 74 was no where to be seen. Plus the long jam of traffic along Marymount road which bus 74 was travelling along, it only made me more worry that I was going to arrive late at school. Thank goodness! The bus came sooner. I was so relieved lah when i finally board the bus. Well.. one worry off came another one dropping on my shoulders. THERE WAS NO SEAT when i climbed up the upper deck of the bus even the "seats available" indicator shown 55 available. OMG, what the... !!! Had no choice but to turn around and walked down the steps and settle for the lower deck. Fortunate enough, I managed to find a seat somewhere in between two gentlemen at the back of the bus. Hmmm... what a eventful morning to start the 2nd school day. Of course, I must not forget to credit the voodoo doll which Sweet and me have. Somehow must be the lucky charm brought by the "traveller" voodoo (plus a pinch of love power) which made everything (the bus coming in time, seat available)!
=P
Oki.. let's talk about what happened in school. Only had marketing lecture in the morning (damn shiok because it's half-day in school. However, prone side was I travelled so far and spent on transportation just to be in school for short duration of 3hrs.) Thankfully, it's greatly compensated because i get to see and spend time with Sweet after school! hmm...
(tian mi mi~)
Well.. better not digress.. Oh.. as i was saying.. Today, unknowingly, I couldn't comprehen whatever Dr Con, the lecturer (who came late for lecture by the way) was teaching. Sigh. Next bad experience was my inferiority complex set in today. Depressing me a gret deal. You see, i had a minor group discussion (thankfully we had a group of 6 by the end of lecture yesterday). However, when the others asked for my opinion, I was tongue-tight. Obviously I was worried that the group may think that I'm not participating. After lecture resumed, everything got worst! Dr Con talked about how to deal with people who the group feels is not contributing to the project. Omg. That moment, I got so lost and shakened. Will my group members think badly of me.. that my inability to express myself verbally, might be misunderstood as my unwillingness to contribute or participate? Then again.. other bothering troubles start to flood my lost mind. It was about what Sweet mentioned about in blog.
Yesterday, I got worried and lost after having read Sweet's blog. In the blog, it was mentioned that Sweet was finding it very difficult to know about my thoughts and feelings. We had a solemn chat over the phone, discussing about the challenges (which i know it's all about me) which both of us are facing. I really fear losing Sweet. Whether Sweet will find other better bf than me and dump me there-after. I fear Sweet might get tired. Tired of trying to know me inside-out. Fear that Sweet will leave me due to reasons like "we can't click", "no common shared interest".. Fear that one day, Sweet might just give up on me. All these pessimistic and demoralising inferiorities rushed continunously and unstoppably into my head, as though currents were gushing out upon the triggered opening of dam-gates.
It didn't take very long before I start mis-reading Sweet's message. I got over-sensitive over simply phrase like "I don't want to disturb you anymore". Then came the depressing trama which was too overwhelming which landed me to break down and cry. I just couldn't help it. My heart was overflowing with tears... to a degree near how i felt when I lost the one I loved to God.
Apparantly, we cleared our doubts and insecurity on our perspective of opposites' love for each other. Today, Sweet and I spent a light outing together. Had lunch at the other Bukit Timah East neighbourhood coffee-shop (the "rivalling" coffee shop). It was so sweet that Sweet paid for my lunch.
Yeserday night, something pissed me off. In additon, today's inferiority complex made me day worse. Miraculously, my worries and troubles simply fade away upon the sight of Sweet. I felt so happy I called Sweet the moment I left the boring lecture theatre and walked eagerly, waiting and praying hard for the bus to come faster so that I could meet Sweet.
Went to Causeway Point to have our identical E900's screen protection film to be done. There was an awkening moment whereby it couldn't be more obvious that Sweet and I are unmistakably love-birds, judging from our identical E900 hp, hp strapes and voodoo dolls attached. *blushes*
It wasn't long after a loving time spent at Bishan before we dined at Toa Payoh's Pasta Mania. I must apologise.. to Sweet. Cause every now and then I ordered my usual Ice Lemon Tea which Sweet doesn't like drinking due to the high sugar content. Sincere apologies Sweet.
:: Thank you Sweet.. for all your console and cheering me up. Not forgetting that treat today. Thank you very much.
Tomorrow's half day at school again. And SEEING Sweet again. Yippee! Tomorrow will definately be BETTER!
Today was a rather short but kinda miserable day at school. Although early in the morning I was super early to arrive at SIM around 0930hrs. 15 mins earlier than i was supposed to meet Zhen Ze. This was due to my very first time making my trip to SIM on bus 74. I left house before 9am. By 0902 am i was already at the neighbourhood busstop. It didn't start to panick me until the time was 0905am and bus 74 was no where to be seen. Plus the long jam of traffic along Marymount road which bus 74 was travelling along, it only made me more worry that I was going to arrive late at school. Thank goodness! The bus came sooner. I was so relieved lah when i finally board the bus. Well.. one worry off came another one dropping on my shoulders. THERE WAS NO SEAT when i climbed up the upper deck of the bus even the "seats available" indicator shown 55 available. OMG, what the... !!! Had no choice but to turn around and walked down the steps and settle for the lower deck. Fortunate enough, I managed to find a seat somewhere in between two gentlemen at the back of the bus. Hmmm... what a eventful morning to start the 2nd school day. Of course, I must not forget to credit the voodoo doll which Sweet and me have. Somehow must be the lucky charm brought by the "traveller" voodoo (plus a pinch of love power) which made everything (the bus coming in time, seat available)!
=P
Oki.. let's talk about what happened in school. Only had marketing lecture in the morning (damn shiok because it's half-day in school. However, prone side was I travelled so far and spent on transportation just to be in school for short duration of 3hrs.) Thankfully, it's greatly compensated because i get to see and spend time with Sweet after school! hmm...
(tian mi mi~)
Well.. better not digress.. Oh.. as i was saying.. Today, unknowingly, I couldn't comprehen whatever Dr Con, the lecturer (who came late for lecture by the way) was teaching. Sigh. Next bad experience was my inferiority complex set in today. Depressing me a gret deal. You see, i had a minor group discussion (thankfully we had a group of 6 by the end of lecture yesterday). However, when the others asked for my opinion, I was tongue-tight. Obviously I was worried that the group may think that I'm not participating. After lecture resumed, everything got worst! Dr Con talked about how to deal with people who the group feels is not contributing to the project. Omg. That moment, I got so lost and shakened. Will my group members think badly of me.. that my inability to express myself verbally, might be misunderstood as my unwillingness to contribute or participate? Then again.. other bothering troubles start to flood my lost mind. It was about what Sweet mentioned about in blog.
Yesterday, I got worried and lost after having read Sweet's blog. In the blog, it was mentioned that Sweet was finding it very difficult to know about my thoughts and feelings. We had a solemn chat over the phone, discussing about the challenges (which i know it's all about me) which both of us are facing. I really fear losing Sweet. Whether Sweet will find other better bf than me and dump me there-after. I fear Sweet might get tired. Tired of trying to know me inside-out. Fear that Sweet will leave me due to reasons like "we can't click", "no common shared interest".. Fear that one day, Sweet might just give up on me. All these pessimistic and demoralising inferiorities rushed continunously and unstoppably into my head, as though currents were gushing out upon the triggered opening of dam-gates.
It didn't take very long before I start mis-reading Sweet's message. I got over-sensitive over simply phrase like "I don't want to disturb you anymore". Then came the depressing trama which was too overwhelming which landed me to break down and cry. I just couldn't help it. My heart was overflowing with tears... to a degree near how i felt when I lost the one I loved to God.
Apparantly, we cleared our doubts and insecurity on our perspective of opposites' love for each other. Today, Sweet and I spent a light outing together. Had lunch at the other Bukit Timah East neighbourhood coffee-shop (the "rivalling" coffee shop). It was so sweet that Sweet paid for my lunch.
Yeserday night, something pissed me off. In additon, today's inferiority complex made me day worse. Miraculously, my worries and troubles simply fade away upon the sight of Sweet. I felt so happy I called Sweet the moment I left the boring lecture theatre and walked eagerly, waiting and praying hard for the bus to come faster so that I could meet Sweet.
Went to Causeway Point to have our identical E900's screen protection film to be done. There was an awkening moment whereby it couldn't be more obvious that Sweet and I are unmistakably love-birds, judging from our identical E900 hp, hp strapes and voodoo dolls attached. *blushes*
It wasn't long after a loving time spent at Bishan before we dined at Toa Payoh's Pasta Mania. I must apologise.. to Sweet. Cause every now and then I ordered my usual Ice Lemon Tea which Sweet doesn't like drinking due to the high sugar content. Sincere apologies Sweet.
:: Thank you Sweet.. for all your console and cheering me up. Not forgetting that treat today. Thank you very much.
Tomorrow's half day at school again. And SEEING Sweet again. Yippee! Tomorrow will definately be BETTER!
Monday, July 31, 2006
De one with 1st day @ Uni!!
Hot day
Today's blog entry will be another really long one simply because it includes yesterday and today!
Omg. Lame.. Here goes..
Met Sweet yesterday around late morning. Apparantly i woke up later as planned. We went to the nearby Bukit Batok East neighbourhood distinct to eat. The most funny thing is there were 2 coffee shops which bears the same name. However, they were seperated. According to Sweet, the amazingly suprise is that these two different coffee shops are like "rivals" where food can't be bought over. Omg. What the... Anyway, we ordered some dim sum: hak kaow, xiu mai (the usual), dumpling, scallop and lotus gratinous rice. Omg.
The weather wasn't really desirable as it turned grey and started to rain heavily. We decided to postpone our plans of going out straight and went back to Sweet's house. We intended to go back to book movie tickets online as Sweet wanted to watch Fast and Furious, Tokyo Drift. But eventually, we scraped the idea as it was too expensive and rather inappropriate.
Being kind enough, the rainning ceased gradually. Enabling us to set out for Orchard. We walked around for awhile at Wisma Atria as Sweet said it was too early to be going down Great World City for the anticipating collection of our newly bought handphones. I was like sneezing. Oops, i forgot to mention Sweet was so caring to make me Lemsip, the flu-reliever drink. Miraculously, the short shopping trip at Wisma kinda provided a temporary cure for my flu. Hehehe.
We arrived at Great World City around 3+pm. Collected our hp from a different assistant. For the benefit of the condition of our new paid products, Sweet was firm in ensuring and demanding that the hps are new. Apparantly, Sweet was like so "fierce" until the assistant was frightened of Sweet. Omg. Indeed, the seal for the hp boxes were broken. However I believe there was a reason for the breakage due to them having the need to check for the supposedly-existing SD card, which was missing from the package. Both of us were overjoyed, having our new Samsung E900!!! Sama sama hps.. omg.. so loving right? wee-oy-wii~~
After that, we went back to Orchard again via a free shutter bus from GWC. In attempt to look for appropriate hp pouch. In vain, we proceeded to Bugis Street. Landing us with a final decision to get a side-zip, 2-toned brown hp pouch! 12 bucks for both! Worth it lor!
I had the best, healthiest fast-food eating experience with Sweet (i'm so proud of it!) at SUBWAY! We ordered an upsized Oak wheat bread with Turkey breast sandwich..with 2 different sauces (Southwest & Red wine dinederette) and stuffed with the whole range of vegetables available! Mmmh.. Yummy!! We also nibbled on the delicious cookies, namely Macademia, Raisin Oak and Chocholate.. simply scrumptious and filling!
It was a really hot sun-blazin evening.. we decided to take a bus down to Marina Square. Just because we wanted to find MiniToons outlet to fulfil our decision to change our commonly-own voodoo dolls. After a hard decision on which to change to and purchase, we went to AMK since Sweet had to get the medication for Sweet's cold sore. After which i sent Sweet to the bus-stop. Both of us were as tired from all the day's travelling. However, we were very glad that we've got our hps!
.....
5am in the morning, i woked up to close the windows since a thunderstorm occured. Decided to deliver a sweet good morning message to Sweet before falling back into sleep again. By accident, Sweet's hp called me. We chatted for awhile. Within 24 hours later and we were already complainning about our new E900. Omg. Apparantly we were not used to the hp and the sensitive touch pad feature. There were other arising undesirable "flaws" about not being able to use the text message dictionary. Hehe..
I woke up again around 0730am. By the irritating high pitched voice of Jasmine! Omg! Despite my effort to leave house as early as 9am. Mrting down to Clementi mrt station took longer than speculated. I only managed to meet Zhen Ze (who was in the same RMIT accountancy course as me) at 1105 hrs, 20 minutes later than our agreed time-to-meet. The bus to SIM was packed with students. To the extent we had to stand on the steps for boarding.
First day of school. A total refreshed experience at a new school. Omg. It brings back the memories of us on our first day in primary school. Adapting to the new study environment and having to undergo the bothering attempt to meet and know new teachers and fellow schoolmates! Sigh. It feels so alienated! Not forgetting, today marks the end of my relaxing and carefree post-ORD holidays! Omg.
We started off with an intensive but relaxing introduction to our course. BBAC. And of course, the "enriching" tour around the campus. Nothing much. Well...maybe the enjoyable thing can be the catered-for lunch bah... Not being gean bpeg.. but well.. it's something at least that was welcoming. Haha. Not forgetting, I met up with familiar faces like Jonathan Chua, Andrew.. BMT mate, Hao Xiang.. and Jc mate, Hui Hua.
Followed up was the 3 hours long lecture. The first lecture of my spent at SIM: Introductory to Marketing. Conducted by the coordinator himself, Dr Con Stevron, a lecturer from RMIT Melbourne. What did i learn? Erm.. what Marketing really means.. It's not selling or advertising but rather, Planning.. which brings to achieve selling of a product. Well.. what a day. First day in lecture and we're instructed of our assignment: the group project. Sigh. IT really puts us demoralised as we barely know each other and we've to like what? fight hard to form into groups of 6. Omg.
Thank goodness, we managed to form one by the end of the lecture.
Met Sweet for dinner. We even went to places like IMM and Jurong East to look for the protective screen for our E900 as it is really proned to scratches. Sadly, we didn't manage to find it.
Apparantly, Sweet didn't have a good day. Sweet worked so hard at work but unfortunately, didn't get promoted even having underwent a tiring course.
I accoyed Sweet to visit the family doctor. Sweet had inflammation in the right eye. Diagnosis was that Sweet's eye was already suffering from initial inflammation.. the dry eye lenses caused
abrasion..making the inflammation worse.. Thankfully, it's ok now..
:: *huggies and kisses* Sweet.. it's not about the promos but it's more of the leadership and qualities you have as a personnel. I love you always. We're progessing really well... really..
Today's blog entry will be another really long one simply because it includes yesterday and today!
Omg. Lame.. Here goes..
Met Sweet yesterday around late morning. Apparantly i woke up later as planned. We went to the nearby Bukit Batok East neighbourhood distinct to eat. The most funny thing is there were 2 coffee shops which bears the same name. However, they were seperated. According to Sweet, the amazingly suprise is that these two different coffee shops are like "rivals" where food can't be bought over. Omg. What the... Anyway, we ordered some dim sum: hak kaow, xiu mai (the usual), dumpling, scallop and lotus gratinous rice. Omg.
The weather wasn't really desirable as it turned grey and started to rain heavily. We decided to postpone our plans of going out straight and went back to Sweet's house. We intended to go back to book movie tickets online as Sweet wanted to watch Fast and Furious, Tokyo Drift. But eventually, we scraped the idea as it was too expensive and rather inappropriate.
Being kind enough, the rainning ceased gradually. Enabling us to set out for Orchard. We walked around for awhile at Wisma Atria as Sweet said it was too early to be going down Great World City for the anticipating collection of our newly bought handphones. I was like sneezing. Oops, i forgot to mention Sweet was so caring to make me Lemsip, the flu-reliever drink. Miraculously, the short shopping trip at Wisma kinda provided a temporary cure for my flu. Hehehe.
We arrived at Great World City around 3+pm. Collected our hp from a different assistant. For the benefit of the condition of our new paid products, Sweet was firm in ensuring and demanding that the hps are new. Apparantly, Sweet was like so "fierce" until the assistant was frightened of Sweet. Omg. Indeed, the seal for the hp boxes were broken. However I believe there was a reason for the breakage due to them having the need to check for the supposedly-existing SD card, which was missing from the package. Both of us were overjoyed, having our new Samsung E900!!! Sama sama hps.. omg.. so loving right? wee-oy-wii~~
After that, we went back to Orchard again via a free shutter bus from GWC. In attempt to look for appropriate hp pouch. In vain, we proceeded to Bugis Street. Landing us with a final decision to get a side-zip, 2-toned brown hp pouch! 12 bucks for both! Worth it lor!
I had the best, healthiest fast-food eating experience with Sweet (i'm so proud of it!) at SUBWAY! We ordered an upsized Oak wheat bread with Turkey breast sandwich..with 2 different sauces (Southwest & Red wine dinederette) and stuffed with the whole range of vegetables available! Mmmh.. Yummy!! We also nibbled on the delicious cookies, namely Macademia, Raisin Oak and Chocholate.. simply scrumptious and filling!
It was a really hot sun-blazin evening.. we decided to take a bus down to Marina Square. Just because we wanted to find MiniToons outlet to fulfil our decision to change our commonly-own voodoo dolls. After a hard decision on which to change to and purchase, we went to AMK since Sweet had to get the medication for Sweet's cold sore. After which i sent Sweet to the bus-stop. Both of us were as tired from all the day's travelling. However, we were very glad that we've got our hps!
.....
5am in the morning, i woked up to close the windows since a thunderstorm occured. Decided to deliver a sweet good morning message to Sweet before falling back into sleep again. By accident, Sweet's hp called me. We chatted for awhile. Within 24 hours later and we were already complainning about our new E900. Omg. Apparantly we were not used to the hp and the sensitive touch pad feature. There were other arising undesirable "flaws" about not being able to use the text message dictionary. Hehe..
I woke up again around 0730am. By the irritating high pitched voice of Jasmine! Omg! Despite my effort to leave house as early as 9am. Mrting down to Clementi mrt station took longer than speculated. I only managed to meet Zhen Ze (who was in the same RMIT accountancy course as me) at 1105 hrs, 20 minutes later than our agreed time-to-meet. The bus to SIM was packed with students. To the extent we had to stand on the steps for boarding.
First day of school. A total refreshed experience at a new school. Omg. It brings back the memories of us on our first day in primary school. Adapting to the new study environment and having to undergo the bothering attempt to meet and know new teachers and fellow schoolmates! Sigh. It feels so alienated! Not forgetting, today marks the end of my relaxing and carefree post-ORD holidays! Omg.
We started off with an intensive but relaxing introduction to our course. BBAC. And of course, the "enriching" tour around the campus. Nothing much. Well...maybe the enjoyable thing can be the catered-for lunch bah... Not being gean bpeg.. but well.. it's something at least that was welcoming. Haha. Not forgetting, I met up with familiar faces like Jonathan Chua, Andrew.. BMT mate, Hao Xiang.. and Jc mate, Hui Hua.
Followed up was the 3 hours long lecture. The first lecture of my spent at SIM: Introductory to Marketing. Conducted by the coordinator himself, Dr Con Stevron, a lecturer from RMIT Melbourne. What did i learn? Erm.. what Marketing really means.. It's not selling or advertising but rather, Planning.. which brings to achieve selling of a product. Well.. what a day. First day in lecture and we're instructed of our assignment: the group project. Sigh. IT really puts us demoralised as we barely know each other and we've to like what? fight hard to form into groups of 6. Omg.
Thank goodness, we managed to form one by the end of the lecture.
Met Sweet for dinner. We even went to places like IMM and Jurong East to look for the protective screen for our E900 as it is really proned to scratches. Sadly, we didn't manage to find it.
Apparantly, Sweet didn't have a good day. Sweet worked so hard at work but unfortunately, didn't get promoted even having underwent a tiring course.
I accoyed Sweet to visit the family doctor. Sweet had inflammation in the right eye. Diagnosis was that Sweet's eye was already suffering from initial inflammation.. the dry eye lenses caused
abrasion..making the inflammation worse.. Thankfully, it's ok now..
:: *huggies and kisses* Sweet.. it's not about the promos but it's more of the leadership and qualities you have as a personnel. I love you always. We're progessing really well... really..
Saturday, July 29, 2006
De one with Friday & Saturday before sch opens
Drizzles and Clouds
Friday evening went to meet Sweet for dinner-supper at Balestier. Sweet had a bad day at work and in the evening, something about me which made the day even "shocking" for Sweet. You see, Sweet called, expecting me to pick up the call. However, my hp was far within reach since i left it on the computer's table for charging. And I was napping. Judy picked up the call. So ya, Sweet got a shock.
Anyway, we had a superb and delicious prata. After which we dragged time since our late-night movie at Bishan J8 wouldn't start until 2355hrs. Went to watch The LakeHouse. It's a very usual love story about two people, who lived in different time, actually got to communicate their "long-distant relationship" through a mailbox outside a common place which they both stayed at, which was a simple glassed Lake house. The ending was really unbelievably thrilling. You see, Alex, an architect, was trying his best to meet up with the doctor, Kate, who lived two years ahead of him at the time of their communication. They planned to meet up in 2006 Valentine's Day at a restaurant (best in town) upon Alex's reservation in 2004. However, in 2006, when Alex saw Kate who was having lunch with her mother across the road, Alex met with a traffic accident. End up, missing the appointment with Kate. In 2008, Kate happened to leart about Alex's accident two years ago, through her acquitance upon an architecture client meet at Alex's brother's firm. Kate rushed to the lakehouse's mailbox and post a letter, telling Alex (who was living in 2006) to wait for her two years later and meet him at the lake house in year 2008. Thus, helping Alex to escape meeting with the accident. In the end, did Alex manage to read Kate's letter and the lovers met up in year 2008? Watch the movie yourself lah!
Hehe..You're going to kill me.. Oki. They did met up. It was so touching!
Sweet was like, unable to figure out what the whole show was about after watching it. I had to explain. After that, we spent a wonderful night and morning. Lovely.
Sweet finally decided and was supportive over the purchase of Samsung E900. Hehe. Before that, on Thursday, the both of us were already shopping for the same hp strapes and voodoo dolls, as if we were shopping for clothings in anticipation of our new born baby. Omg. However, sadly, even we've paid, the hp wasn't in our reach. This is because, the E900 is supposed to come with a SD card. However, the package didn't include the SD card. Thus, the dealer would get the SD card for our hps and request that we collect the hps tomorrow.
Sweet and I had a quarrel today. I was really sorry that I said stuff which were indirectly hurtful. But..well, we managed to reconcile. Assured each other that our love will be unshakened. :)
Friday evening went to meet Sweet for dinner-supper at Balestier. Sweet had a bad day at work and in the evening, something about me which made the day even "shocking" for Sweet. You see, Sweet called, expecting me to pick up the call. However, my hp was far within reach since i left it on the computer's table for charging. And I was napping. Judy picked up the call. So ya, Sweet got a shock.
Anyway, we had a superb and delicious prata. After which we dragged time since our late-night movie at Bishan J8 wouldn't start until 2355hrs. Went to watch The LakeHouse. It's a very usual love story about two people, who lived in different time, actually got to communicate their "long-distant relationship" through a mailbox outside a common place which they both stayed at, which was a simple glassed Lake house. The ending was really unbelievably thrilling. You see, Alex, an architect, was trying his best to meet up with the doctor, Kate, who lived two years ahead of him at the time of their communication. They planned to meet up in 2006 Valentine's Day at a restaurant (best in town) upon Alex's reservation in 2004. However, in 2006, when Alex saw Kate who was having lunch with her mother across the road, Alex met with a traffic accident. End up, missing the appointment with Kate. In 2008, Kate happened to leart about Alex's accident two years ago, through her acquitance upon an architecture client meet at Alex's brother's firm. Kate rushed to the lakehouse's mailbox and post a letter, telling Alex (who was living in 2006) to wait for her two years later and meet him at the lake house in year 2008. Thus, helping Alex to escape meeting with the accident. In the end, did Alex manage to read Kate's letter and the lovers met up in year 2008? Watch the movie yourself lah!
Hehe..You're going to kill me.. Oki. They did met up. It was so touching!
Sweet was like, unable to figure out what the whole show was about after watching it. I had to explain. After that, we spent a wonderful night and morning. Lovely.
Sweet finally decided and was supportive over the purchase of Samsung E900. Hehe. Before that, on Thursday, the both of us were already shopping for the same hp strapes and voodoo dolls, as if we were shopping for clothings in anticipation of our new born baby. Omg. However, sadly, even we've paid, the hp wasn't in our reach. This is because, the E900 is supposed to come with a SD card. However, the package didn't include the SD card. Thus, the dealer would get the SD card for our hps and request that we collect the hps tomorrow.
Sweet and I had a quarrel today. I was really sorry that I said stuff which were indirectly hurtful. But..well, we managed to reconcile. Assured each other that our love will be unshakened. :)
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
De One with Chin Yu
CHRONICLES Of CHUM
This late morning, Chin Yu messaged me about him stumbling upon my blog. The first thing he mentioned was ask whether I have a gf. Sigh. Obviously i didn't want anyone (who haven't got access to my blog) to know about my new found relationship. Well, it was later discovered that he had nothing better to do, end up discovering my blog by accident. Well, here's one to you, bestest friend!
Tan Chin Yu. My bestest friend. We only started to know each other better after we were posted to the battalion upon graduation from ASC. Though we were formerly from the same detachment during ASC. However, we weren't close because I was more of my Det 5 click and Mohan (who i'll mention in another entry). While Chin Yu was more familiar with Guo Xian, a good friend who took care of me when we went up to the first Ex. BattleKing in Thailand.
Formerly from TPJC. Joined choir but he's super ah-beng alike. Haha. Loves ice-hockey. Plays in a team which is even better than our Singapore national team. He was the BEST PT during our ASC course. Great runner who always kana all the participation in x-ctry representation and all that. Even though he didn't like running at all. Haha.
Ever since..erm.. I think after once when we started going out together during one of the holiday, i think. We got to enjoy each other's accompany and started finding each other out for shopping during nights off. It's really funny. Now that you ask me how we started to get to know each other and how the hell did our friendship developed, I'm clueless. Omg.
I guess it's the common understanding bah. Of course, we've been through thick and thin together. All the participation in numberless x-ctry, running events... and our favourite hangout places for eating and movies: Orchard.
The thing with Chin Yu is, he's an easy going person. Sometimes, he's self-responsible and upright leadership really impress me. Motivates me too. He knows what he wants and is sure about stuff. Things he doesn't understand, he'll ask and find out. That's part of which make me feel comfortable being friends with him.
Of course, not forgetting the great help in Thailand when my mummy passed away. It really made me very grateful for having a caring friend like him. Thanks man, bestest friend.
After ORD, we continued going out now and then. We even went for our driving theories together at Yio Chu Kang's SDCC.
Sicne Chin Yu will be going NTU for material engineering and a few months back, I was really wanting to get into NTU. We even decided to wanna apply halls together. Sadly, I didn't get admitted. He was like waiting all along for the results of my application, then again, my appeal outcome. Sigh. What a friend...
Omg, I've got tears.. hehe.. Just KIDDING!!
Yup, hopefully, our friendship will last and we'll still go out even after we're studying in different school.
This late morning, Chin Yu messaged me about him stumbling upon my blog. The first thing he mentioned was ask whether I have a gf. Sigh. Obviously i didn't want anyone (who haven't got access to my blog) to know about my new found relationship. Well, it was later discovered that he had nothing better to do, end up discovering my blog by accident. Well, here's one to you, bestest friend!
Tan Chin Yu. My bestest friend. We only started to know each other better after we were posted to the battalion upon graduation from ASC. Though we were formerly from the same detachment during ASC. However, we weren't close because I was more of my Det 5 click and Mohan (who i'll mention in another entry). While Chin Yu was more familiar with Guo Xian, a good friend who took care of me when we went up to the first Ex. BattleKing in Thailand.
Formerly from TPJC. Joined choir but he's super ah-beng alike. Haha. Loves ice-hockey. Plays in a team which is even better than our Singapore national team. He was the BEST PT during our ASC course. Great runner who always kana all the participation in x-ctry representation and all that. Even though he didn't like running at all. Haha.
Ever since..erm.. I think after once when we started going out together during one of the holiday, i think. We got to enjoy each other's accompany and started finding each other out for shopping during nights off. It's really funny. Now that you ask me how we started to get to know each other and how the hell did our friendship developed, I'm clueless. Omg.
I guess it's the common understanding bah. Of course, we've been through thick and thin together. All the participation in numberless x-ctry, running events... and our favourite hangout places for eating and movies: Orchard.
The thing with Chin Yu is, he's an easy going person. Sometimes, he's self-responsible and upright leadership really impress me. Motivates me too. He knows what he wants and is sure about stuff. Things he doesn't understand, he'll ask and find out. That's part of which make me feel comfortable being friends with him.
Of course, not forgetting the great help in Thailand when my mummy passed away. It really made me very grateful for having a caring friend like him. Thanks man, bestest friend.
After ORD, we continued going out now and then. We even went for our driving theories together at Yio Chu Kang's SDCC.
Sicne Chin Yu will be going NTU for material engineering and a few months back, I was really wanting to get into NTU. We even decided to wanna apply halls together. Sadly, I didn't get admitted. He was like waiting all along for the results of my application, then again, my appeal outcome. Sigh. What a friend...
Omg, I've got tears.. hehe.. Just KIDDING!!
Yup, hopefully, our friendship will last and we'll still go out even after we're studying in different school.
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
De one with Our 1st Argument
Windy
It didn't occur to me that Sweet and I will ever have to go through this: Our very first argument.
Met Sweet at Causeway Point today. Supposedly went there to dine at Pasta Mania. However, I really have no idea why is it everytime i meet Sweet, no doubt earlier I'd be so loving and saying all that I miss Sweet. However, unexplainably, when i meet Sweet, there's nothing on my expression and of course, making it worse, my inability to speak out.
We were mrting down Toa Payoh when Sweet suddenly flared up. It was so unexpected. Sigh. I didn't know how to coax the situation. We just wondered around the neighbourhood, both sulked-faced. With occassional harsh discussion over our problem.
Thankfully, after dinner, I suggest taking a stroll in the park before sending Sweet to the bus-stop. We talked about our current problem and all that happened today. Simply because i didn't want anything to affect our relationship. We had a short and improper chat. Sweet said it wasn't a problem but rather something both of us should learn. And that I should learn to be open and expressive. There were some sweet talk too.
Well... quarrels are undesirable.. however, it surely brings two even closer once resolved.
It didn't occur to me that Sweet and I will ever have to go through this: Our very first argument.
Met Sweet at Causeway Point today. Supposedly went there to dine at Pasta Mania. However, I really have no idea why is it everytime i meet Sweet, no doubt earlier I'd be so loving and saying all that I miss Sweet. However, unexplainably, when i meet Sweet, there's nothing on my expression and of course, making it worse, my inability to speak out.
We were mrting down Toa Payoh when Sweet suddenly flared up. It was so unexpected. Sigh. I didn't know how to coax the situation. We just wondered around the neighbourhood, both sulked-faced. With occassional harsh discussion over our problem.
Thankfully, after dinner, I suggest taking a stroll in the park before sending Sweet to the bus-stop. We talked about our current problem and all that happened today. Simply because i didn't want anything to affect our relationship. We had a short and improper chat. Sweet said it wasn't a problem but rather something both of us should learn. And that I should learn to be open and expressive. There were some sweet talk too.
Well... quarrels are undesirable.. however, it surely brings two even closer once resolved.
Monday, July 24, 2006
De one with Last day of lunar 6th month
Sunny with rain in the afternoon
Today marks the last day of the 6th month in the Chinese lunar calendar. Well..which means tonight, lots of people might be burning incense paper to welcome the traditional 7th Chinese Month which is the Hungry Ghost Festival.
Well, alot of people said it's the most inauspicious month of the year. Wonder if it's just pure coincedence, everytime it will be a rainning season. Otherwise, strong winds will occur. Recalling back those nights i helped my granny pray and burn incences paper at our void decks. I used to imagine that such winds are brought about by ghosts who are roaming so fast, sweeping away and snatching their share of wealth from the burning incences. Of course, there's no scientific explaination. haha. Me and my own imagination again!
Recall last time of this year, i was so damn sway to be put as COS (Company Orderly Sergeant) on the eve of 7th month. It so happened everyone was on off that day. Sigh. It was so damn scary to stay in the office all alone. On the very next day, Chin Yu and I went to watch the release of "The Maid". Omg. Boy..it was a thrilling 7th Month 2005. haha. A year earlier, during 7th month, i was also down for guard duty. Had to prowl the camp at night. It's damn terrifying because you'll never know what you might bum into. Especially in unlit areas like the famous toilet which is believed to be huanted by a boy who will cause the chair inside to topple off ground, making the chair stand only on one leg. Omg.
All our grandparents and older generations would always have their part of tales to share. Some examples like forbidding us to visit the swimming pool. And running in the park in the evening.
Well.. come to think of it. It's really amazing such tales still so appealing to us despite without any prove, just pure heard-say.
Well... I hereby hope nobody would experience any bad or unlucky situation. Sigh. School's starting soon for me! I can't believe it that my post-ord holiday's gonna end so soon.
Today marks the last day of the 6th month in the Chinese lunar calendar. Well..which means tonight, lots of people might be burning incense paper to welcome the traditional 7th Chinese Month which is the Hungry Ghost Festival.
Well, alot of people said it's the most inauspicious month of the year. Wonder if it's just pure coincedence, everytime it will be a rainning season. Otherwise, strong winds will occur. Recalling back those nights i helped my granny pray and burn incences paper at our void decks. I used to imagine that such winds are brought about by ghosts who are roaming so fast, sweeping away and snatching their share of wealth from the burning incences. Of course, there's no scientific explaination. haha. Me and my own imagination again!
Recall last time of this year, i was so damn sway to be put as COS (Company Orderly Sergeant) on the eve of 7th month. It so happened everyone was on off that day. Sigh. It was so damn scary to stay in the office all alone. On the very next day, Chin Yu and I went to watch the release of "The Maid". Omg. Boy..it was a thrilling 7th Month 2005. haha. A year earlier, during 7th month, i was also down for guard duty. Had to prowl the camp at night. It's damn terrifying because you'll never know what you might bum into. Especially in unlit areas like the famous toilet which is believed to be huanted by a boy who will cause the chair inside to topple off ground, making the chair stand only on one leg. Omg.
All our grandparents and older generations would always have their part of tales to share. Some examples like forbidding us to visit the swimming pool. And running in the park in the evening.
Well.. come to think of it. It's really amazing such tales still so appealing to us despite without any prove, just pure heard-say.
Well... I hereby hope nobody would experience any bad or unlucky situation. Sigh. School's starting soon for me! I can't believe it that my post-ord holiday's gonna end so soon.
Saturday, July 22, 2006
De one with Superb Saturday!
Cloudy and warm
It's only half way through the weekend and i already feel pretty worn out. Haha. Have been running to lots of places and getting fat lah, eating so much stuff.
Friday morning met Sweet. So lovely of Sweet to come all the way to my granny's place to find me. I brought Sweet to have lunch at this famous bak kuh teh. After that, stayed at home and watched VCD. Since Daddy was coming home, we decided to go out to "walk walk" around town. Look around and stopped at Marks and Spencers' to purchase a few items before proceeding to have a delicious Thai crusine at this simple restuarant in Golden Mile Complex.
We ordered pineapple rice which tasted too sweet and could have been better. Pat Thai (kway tiao), prawn-cakes (which is similar like breaded fish), hotplate black pepper Beef which wasn't served sizzling hot and too starchy.. erm.. one more dish but i couldn't remember what was it (or maybe no more..haha). Anyway, our stomachs were like damn filled!
Night time went to have supper with "bro" and Andrew. Since both Sweet and me had our full in dinner, end up meeting them just to watch them eat. Sigh.
Saturday morning was beautiful. My heart just sang out when i woke up and see Sweet around.
We lazed abit and went out to Sweet's house and lunch nearby, before our visit to a Thai temple at Bukit Merah for prayers.
The next place we went to was the most fun part. We went Arab Street to browse at Essential oil. Heard from Sweet that such essential oils are non-alcohol, organic and concentrated, therefore it last very long just after putting a bit. They even mixed to the smell which you want, from the wide variety of samplers which a varied range of esters. Most of it are even used for scent in oils for body massage. Otherwise, for aroma-therapy purposes.
We had a chill out at Bugis TCC, followed by walking at Suntec before stopping at Novena for a famous traditional chicken rice.
It was a pretty tiring yet worthy and wonderful period of time spent together with Sweet.
Life's beautiful all over again this summer-spring!!
It's only half way through the weekend and i already feel pretty worn out. Haha. Have been running to lots of places and getting fat lah, eating so much stuff.
Friday morning met Sweet. So lovely of Sweet to come all the way to my granny's place to find me. I brought Sweet to have lunch at this famous bak kuh teh. After that, stayed at home and watched VCD. Since Daddy was coming home, we decided to go out to "walk walk" around town. Look around and stopped at Marks and Spencers' to purchase a few items before proceeding to have a delicious Thai crusine at this simple restuarant in Golden Mile Complex.
We ordered pineapple rice which tasted too sweet and could have been better. Pat Thai (kway tiao), prawn-cakes (which is similar like breaded fish), hotplate black pepper Beef which wasn't served sizzling hot and too starchy.. erm.. one more dish but i couldn't remember what was it (or maybe no more..haha). Anyway, our stomachs were like damn filled!
Night time went to have supper with "bro" and Andrew. Since both Sweet and me had our full in dinner, end up meeting them just to watch them eat. Sigh.
Saturday morning was beautiful. My heart just sang out when i woke up and see Sweet around.
We lazed abit and went out to Sweet's house and lunch nearby, before our visit to a Thai temple at Bukit Merah for prayers.
The next place we went to was the most fun part. We went Arab Street to browse at Essential oil. Heard from Sweet that such essential oils are non-alcohol, organic and concentrated, therefore it last very long just after putting a bit. They even mixed to the smell which you want, from the wide variety of samplers which a varied range of esters. Most of it are even used for scent in oils for body massage. Otherwise, for aroma-therapy purposes.
We had a chill out at Bugis TCC, followed by walking at Suntec before stopping at Novena for a famous traditional chicken rice.
It was a pretty tiring yet worthy and wonderful period of time spent together with Sweet.
Life's beautiful all over again this summer-spring!!
Thursday, July 20, 2006
De one with Getting Better
Sunny
Phew.. after 2days, i'm finally getting better and recovering from that detestable flu which brought along it's friends fever and cough. Nevermind.. i'm just talking crap. I supposed my brain's overheated. haha.
Well, Sweet and I were progressing very well..until yesterday night. You see, Sweet was tired and wasn't chatting much on the phone. ME, being partially sick and normally quiet, didn't talk much too. That was when Sweet ask if i'm always like this. Sigh. That instant, my heart slowed down. Something's not right. Well..the reason to breakup is building up. No matter how much i kept repeating in my blank mind, nothing just pop out for my to converse about. Sigh.
What's comforting is that we're getting closer. Even to the stage when we're sorta telepathically connected..mind and soul. I'm sick. Sweet's down with fever too.
Well.. not a very good form of connection but well... at least we're feeling as one.
Nothing much happening. Sleep eat, take medicine. Can't jog. Can't do any form of cardio. Sigh. It's really killing me. Omg.
Well, tomorrow's the big day! Sweet and I are really going to spend the whole day together! Jiayou Jason!
Phew.. after 2days, i'm finally getting better and recovering from that detestable flu which brought along it's friends fever and cough. Nevermind.. i'm just talking crap. I supposed my brain's overheated. haha.
Well, Sweet and I were progressing very well..until yesterday night. You see, Sweet was tired and wasn't chatting much on the phone. ME, being partially sick and normally quiet, didn't talk much too. That was when Sweet ask if i'm always like this. Sigh. That instant, my heart slowed down. Something's not right. Well..the reason to breakup is building up. No matter how much i kept repeating in my blank mind, nothing just pop out for my to converse about. Sigh.
What's comforting is that we're getting closer. Even to the stage when we're sorta telepathically connected..mind and soul. I'm sick. Sweet's down with fever too.
Well.. not a very good form of connection but well... at least we're feeling as one.
Nothing much happening. Sleep eat, take medicine. Can't jog. Can't do any form of cardio. Sigh. It's really killing me. Omg.
Well, tomorrow's the big day! Sweet and I are really going to spend the whole day together! Jiayou Jason!
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
De one with Flu
Cloudy
Ever since yesterday night, the detestable flu virus caught me. Sigh. Have feed on countless panadol for cold and anti-hysthamine but sadly, results weren't as desired. Sigh.
I got so pissed with this nose, machum like a loose tap water hose. Sigh.
This afternoon went Suntec with Mohan. Surprisingly, though we've not met for quite a while, we hardly had anything to chat about. Hmm.. partly it's because i was having flu bah. Thus, experiencing some problem having a smooth conversation. Glad we had the basic coffee, chat and chilling out like past time. He had cheese cake and Java Frap. I had my chicken ugly puff and Tazo Earl Grey tea (instead of my normal Caramel Frap since Sweet advise me to refrain from Frap).
Nothing much except having made a trip to Candy Empire and Citylink.
Sigh. I really HATE to be sick! x'(
Ever since yesterday night, the detestable flu virus caught me. Sigh. Have feed on countless panadol for cold and anti-hysthamine but sadly, results weren't as desired. Sigh.
I got so pissed with this nose, machum like a loose tap water hose. Sigh.
This afternoon went Suntec with Mohan. Surprisingly, though we've not met for quite a while, we hardly had anything to chat about. Hmm.. partly it's because i was having flu bah. Thus, experiencing some problem having a smooth conversation. Glad we had the basic coffee, chat and chilling out like past time. He had cheese cake and Java Frap. I had my chicken ugly puff and Tazo Earl Grey tea (instead of my normal Caramel Frap since Sweet advise me to refrain from Frap).
Nothing much except having made a trip to Candy Empire and Citylink.
Sigh. I really HATE to be sick! x'(
Sunday, July 16, 2006
De one with Sweet Sunday
Rain and sunshine
It didn't rain in the morning so went for a light jog. Met Sweet to lunch and jalan jalan. Omg. Sweet is such a sweet person. I just mentioned that i wanted to eat Thoisay and *snap of the finger*, here we are, eating a filling Thoisay Masala. (pardon me for my mis-spelling of the Indian delicacy)
We went to Bugis to pray at Kwan Yin temple. Super crowded. Due to some ceremonial event there. Remember i was in the mist of the crowd, Liang Jin Ru's Yong Qi chorus kept playing over and over again. Reminding me of the phrase: (translated: Even in a crowd abyss, I can still feel your pressence. Put your heart at hands) That was the exact moment i felt when Sweet and I got caught in the crowd. I guess i'm truly in love.
Finale of the day ended at Westmall. After dinning at a long-queue "battered" at Swensons, we walked around and do our necessary agenda. Subconsciously, i was rather worried. I guess I didn't change as much. The sad fact is that i'm still as non-outspoken. I'm trying my best to change.
For you, my knowledgeable and compassioned Sweetheart.
It didn't rain in the morning so went for a light jog. Met Sweet to lunch and jalan jalan. Omg. Sweet is such a sweet person. I just mentioned that i wanted to eat Thoisay and *snap of the finger*, here we are, eating a filling Thoisay Masala. (pardon me for my mis-spelling of the Indian delicacy)
We went to Bugis to pray at Kwan Yin temple. Super crowded. Due to some ceremonial event there. Remember i was in the mist of the crowd, Liang Jin Ru's Yong Qi chorus kept playing over and over again. Reminding me of the phrase: (translated: Even in a crowd abyss, I can still feel your pressence. Put your heart at hands) That was the exact moment i felt when Sweet and I got caught in the crowd. I guess i'm truly in love.
Finale of the day ended at Westmall. After dinning at a long-queue "battered" at Swensons, we walked around and do our necessary agenda. Subconsciously, i was rather worried. I guess I didn't change as much. The sad fact is that i'm still as non-outspoken. I'm trying my best to change.
For you, my knowledgeable and compassioned Sweetheart.
De one with the 2nd Day
Sunny
Just one day after attached, woke up and openmy eyes to a delightful sight: Sweet was there.
We went suntanning, "doing justice to the sun" as what Sweet would say.
After that, went to lunch at Thai Express. Under the recommendation by Sweet, I tried this glass noodle with eggs, veg and chicken in soup-based. It's super nice. Although i thought it tasted no difference from the normal vercemilli ah-ma used to cook. Yet at the same time, felt so proud that i ate something healthier than usual!
Went home after that for a slight nap while Sweet had to go home. Met Sweet for Pirates of the Carribean movie at Causeway Point. It was a rather average movie. Not as fantastic as the first one. Well..i guessed it's the accompany that made everything turned out wonderful. Omg. *blush*
The special of the day was having a new dinning experience at Al Carza (erm... if i didn't remember it wrongly). A road side foodstore. Had prata and a mistakenly ordered sour and sweet Soursoup and Peach dessert. Omg.
What a memorable 2nd day. However, i think i was out of my mind alittle to cause a mere ruin. Well.. everything's fine. I wouldn't wanna think too much into it. Let's just.. enjoy what's present and perserve it through the future...i.e Come what may in short. I'm in love.
+)
Just one day after attached, woke up and openmy eyes to a delightful sight: Sweet was there.
We went suntanning, "doing justice to the sun" as what Sweet would say.
After that, went to lunch at Thai Express. Under the recommendation by Sweet, I tried this glass noodle with eggs, veg and chicken in soup-based. It's super nice. Although i thought it tasted no difference from the normal vercemilli ah-ma used to cook. Yet at the same time, felt so proud that i ate something healthier than usual!
Went home after that for a slight nap while Sweet had to go home. Met Sweet for Pirates of the Carribean movie at Causeway Point. It was a rather average movie. Not as fantastic as the first one. Well..i guessed it's the accompany that made everything turned out wonderful. Omg. *blush*
The special of the day was having a new dinning experience at Al Carza (erm... if i didn't remember it wrongly). A road side foodstore. Had prata and a mistakenly ordered sour and sweet Soursoup and Peach dessert. Omg.
What a memorable 2nd day. However, i think i was out of my mind alittle to cause a mere ruin. Well.. everything's fine. I wouldn't wanna think too much into it. Let's just.. enjoy what's present and perserve it through the future...i.e Come what may in short. I'm in love.
+)
Saturday, July 15, 2006
De one with I stopped crying
Cloudy shades, sunbaked Saturday
At last, 3 months of heart ache miraculously got wiped out, by a special someone!
I feel better now. Thanks for those who've been taking care of me and others, who considerately gave their time and feelings for me..
I know it's very fast, all these that have happened. But i'll just make the best of what i can and have, bearing in mind whatever i've learnt from past experience. Wouldn't wanna think too much. I'll not indulge myself into any "self-fulfilling prophecy".
:: Sweet, i love you too.
At last, 3 months of heart ache miraculously got wiped out, by a special someone!
I feel better now. Thanks for those who've been taking care of me and others, who considerately gave their time and feelings for me..
I know it's very fast, all these that have happened. But i'll just make the best of what i can and have, bearing in mind whatever i've learnt from past experience. Wouldn't wanna think too much. I'll not indulge myself into any "self-fulfilling prophecy".
:: Sweet, i love you too.
Thursday, July 13, 2006
De one with 13.07.05
Sunny
13.07.05 marks a significant day in my life. Exactly 365 days from the exact same day, at 19:35hrs, the woman who matter the most in my life, collapsed at Bishan park and went on to the next stage of life...
Remember it was 13.07.05, i was still a 2IC in Charlie Battery, shagged both physically and mentally. However deep in my heart, i was grateful that FATEP finally ends in Thailand. All in my mind was i was able to go back to base camp (Krachaburi camp) for a long awaited bath and dersert a perspiration and mud soaked uniform for a fresh set of attire.
We had our end-of-frame FATEP dinner. At the end, the gunners were going around "capturing" Sgts and Sirs to throw and toss them in mid-air for a couple of fun time. I nearly knocked my head into the ceiling at the entrance of the dinner hall. It was only after that I realised when Sgt Eddy passed me a watch and asked if it was mind. In my hand, i saw my addidas clima-cool watch, bought by my mummy for enlistment. Somehow, my mind sensed an un-auspicious ormen.
True enough, aft having bathed and come back to bunk, i switched on my hp. Replying to the 3 missed calls from Jasmine, everything break loose. I recalled when i got through, Jasmine was sobbing, telling me: "Jason... you must be strong ok?... Your mother just passed away.." I was shocked. I asked why, she replied she only knew my mum went jogging and now she's passed away at the Tan Tock Seng Hospital. I couldn't believe my ears. At an instant, gush of chilling fear rushed through my entire body system. I walked over to my BC and told him I needed to rush back to Singapore.
The next moment, i was sobbing soft while packing. Chaos was the only state of mind. The more i think, the more i wished to endure my fear, my tears, the more it flowed down my cheeks while i packed my duffle bag and sort out the equipment i've drawn on-loan for the exercise.
Even CO, LTC Steven Seng came over and comfort me, the miserable face expression i gave him was unforgettable. I was filled with nothing but pure grief. He was speechless too.
I cried the whole night, couldn't sleep. Sgt Eddy was by my side, giving my tissue paper and comforting me to sleep. It was until dawn that I dragged my luggage out to board the rover which would send me to the Thai-Singapore Ambassy to settle my departure administration, since i was travelling with my SAF smart card instead of a passport.
Poor Chin Yu, my only-reachable best friend, accompanied me all the way. Thanks alot Chin Yu. He even helped me with my heavy luggage at times when i had to switch from the rover to another vehicle which would fetch me to Bangkok Airport. I felt bad, having to leave Chin Yu alone at the airport and wait as the staff-in-charge (from the Ambassy) had to bring and facilitate me through the customs.
The caring staff accompanied me even through the waiting. I was really grateful. On board Singapore Airline, i was weeping in my heart. I keep thinking, everything's going to be alright.. I'm finally coming home to learn about everything...
From the moment i arrived at ahma's block. All the tentages were already set up. The first person who came to me was my aunt, weary looking, with the both hands on my arm, she said in Hokkien dialect: "Don't be sad, poor child.. Your mother's gone..." I wasn't crying but my whole body was really cold, filled with the refusal to sight what it's true. And there it was... the woman who mattered so much to me in my life, was lying lifeless yet peacefully in the golden brown polished and uncovered coffin.. She looked as if she was like in a stage performance, with all her thick yet pale-toned make-up. She lied so comfortably in the silk/linen laid inside of the coffin, so naturally like a wax model who's sleeping.
My ahma joined me later. With my dad already there. Mama (my aunt) was already breaking down in tears. I walked out, fearing a second look at mummy which would cause me to break down hard...
For the next three days of the funeral, i didn't cry at all. I kept telling myself repeatedly that I am the eldest son. I shouldn't cry. I had to be strong. So that others wouldn't have to come console me. At that time, i was really in grief. (omg, even when i'm typing this, i'm crying) I was hoping that my very first ex would come console me. However, my ex didn't came. I knew, deep down, another pillar of support was starting to collapse.
So.. I was alone. Thankfully, alot of friends turned up. Yuyan, Shuqing, Clara, Alan, Justin, Jiamin, Dunlin, Maja they all, Kai Si... and people from camp like my battalion Chief Clerk and 2LT Samuel came.. my men, Jimmy and Anthony called.. keep me occupied.
I hate funerals. I remembered my last was for my grand-father (mummy's dad). I hate funerals because there's grief and people crying painfully. I hate it. Of course, there was a small part of me, blaming Mummy..why she had to leave just like that. Why didn't she wait until I came back from training in Thailand.
It was until the final wake, when i had to place my hand on the van which carries my mummy's coffin, that all my pride shattered, restrained tears poured out. Totally broke down in heart-ache. Overwhelmed with indescribable anguish.
The story: "In fear of her high blood pressure and hypertension after having done her check up at Polyclinic, mummy became health conscious and begin her jogging again. She was always pushing herself. In hope that cardio-exercise would help her live a longer life as she has to take care of my younger brother Jimson and me, who have yet to admit into U. She went to jog around 1830hr. Till 2100hrs, only did my cousin, Jasmine and my daddy senses something amiss that they went out with my uncle to search. In vain, they came back and called all the hospital. Finally, locating someone with identical name at TTSH"
Unfortunately, the family members were called down to the autopsy room to recognise my mum's body. It was diagnosed that she had passed away due to cardio-failure. She must have over-exerted herself, leading to heart to collapse.
Later, it was heard that my mummy was sent to the hospital after some passer-by jogged called for ambulance. However, we couldn't discover what happened exactly...
Life still goes on. However, the significant scar in my heart and hurting truth of this loss of someone beloved, is unforgettable. People always say we still love her in our hearts. I do. So is she in my memory. Everytime i think of her, the chinese song "shi shang zhi you mama hao" will start to sing in my head. Tears will start to tickle down.
I would give up anything, even my life just to exchange her back... for ahma who lost a daughter; for mama and uncle who lost their sibling; for daddy who lost his wife; for Jasmine and Judy who lost her god-mother; for Jimson, my younger brother, who needs Mummy more than he needs me... and for the world, who lost a wonderful, talented, compassionate super-woman...
Je t'aime..
Sarang heyo..
Ashiteru..
Te Quiero..
I love you.. Mummy
-Jason, who didn't get to bid u goodbye
13.07.05 marks a significant day in my life. Exactly 365 days from the exact same day, at 19:35hrs, the woman who matter the most in my life, collapsed at Bishan park and went on to the next stage of life...
Remember it was 13.07.05, i was still a 2IC in Charlie Battery, shagged both physically and mentally. However deep in my heart, i was grateful that FATEP finally ends in Thailand. All in my mind was i was able to go back to base camp (Krachaburi camp) for a long awaited bath and dersert a perspiration and mud soaked uniform for a fresh set of attire.
We had our end-of-frame FATEP dinner. At the end, the gunners were going around "capturing" Sgts and Sirs to throw and toss them in mid-air for a couple of fun time. I nearly knocked my head into the ceiling at the entrance of the dinner hall. It was only after that I realised when Sgt Eddy passed me a watch and asked if it was mind. In my hand, i saw my addidas clima-cool watch, bought by my mummy for enlistment. Somehow, my mind sensed an un-auspicious ormen.
True enough, aft having bathed and come back to bunk, i switched on my hp. Replying to the 3 missed calls from Jasmine, everything break loose. I recalled when i got through, Jasmine was sobbing, telling me: "Jason... you must be strong ok?... Your mother just passed away.." I was shocked. I asked why, she replied she only knew my mum went jogging and now she's passed away at the Tan Tock Seng Hospital. I couldn't believe my ears. At an instant, gush of chilling fear rushed through my entire body system. I walked over to my BC and told him I needed to rush back to Singapore.
The next moment, i was sobbing soft while packing. Chaos was the only state of mind. The more i think, the more i wished to endure my fear, my tears, the more it flowed down my cheeks while i packed my duffle bag and sort out the equipment i've drawn on-loan for the exercise.
Even CO, LTC Steven Seng came over and comfort me, the miserable face expression i gave him was unforgettable. I was filled with nothing but pure grief. He was speechless too.
I cried the whole night, couldn't sleep. Sgt Eddy was by my side, giving my tissue paper and comforting me to sleep. It was until dawn that I dragged my luggage out to board the rover which would send me to the Thai-Singapore Ambassy to settle my departure administration, since i was travelling with my SAF smart card instead of a passport.
Poor Chin Yu, my only-reachable best friend, accompanied me all the way. Thanks alot Chin Yu. He even helped me with my heavy luggage at times when i had to switch from the rover to another vehicle which would fetch me to Bangkok Airport. I felt bad, having to leave Chin Yu alone at the airport and wait as the staff-in-charge (from the Ambassy) had to bring and facilitate me through the customs.
The caring staff accompanied me even through the waiting. I was really grateful. On board Singapore Airline, i was weeping in my heart. I keep thinking, everything's going to be alright.. I'm finally coming home to learn about everything...
From the moment i arrived at ahma's block. All the tentages were already set up. The first person who came to me was my aunt, weary looking, with the both hands on my arm, she said in Hokkien dialect: "Don't be sad, poor child.. Your mother's gone..." I wasn't crying but my whole body was really cold, filled with the refusal to sight what it's true. And there it was... the woman who mattered so much to me in my life, was lying lifeless yet peacefully in the golden brown polished and uncovered coffin.. She looked as if she was like in a stage performance, with all her thick yet pale-toned make-up. She lied so comfortably in the silk/linen laid inside of the coffin, so naturally like a wax model who's sleeping.
My ahma joined me later. With my dad already there. Mama (my aunt) was already breaking down in tears. I walked out, fearing a second look at mummy which would cause me to break down hard...
For the next three days of the funeral, i didn't cry at all. I kept telling myself repeatedly that I am the eldest son. I shouldn't cry. I had to be strong. So that others wouldn't have to come console me. At that time, i was really in grief. (omg, even when i'm typing this, i'm crying) I was hoping that my very first ex would come console me. However, my ex didn't came. I knew, deep down, another pillar of support was starting to collapse.
So.. I was alone. Thankfully, alot of friends turned up. Yuyan, Shuqing, Clara, Alan, Justin, Jiamin, Dunlin, Maja they all, Kai Si... and people from camp like my battalion Chief Clerk and 2LT Samuel came.. my men, Jimmy and Anthony called.. keep me occupied.
I hate funerals. I remembered my last was for my grand-father (mummy's dad). I hate funerals because there's grief and people crying painfully. I hate it. Of course, there was a small part of me, blaming Mummy..why she had to leave just like that. Why didn't she wait until I came back from training in Thailand.
It was until the final wake, when i had to place my hand on the van which carries my mummy's coffin, that all my pride shattered, restrained tears poured out. Totally broke down in heart-ache. Overwhelmed with indescribable anguish.
The story: "In fear of her high blood pressure and hypertension after having done her check up at Polyclinic, mummy became health conscious and begin her jogging again. She was always pushing herself. In hope that cardio-exercise would help her live a longer life as she has to take care of my younger brother Jimson and me, who have yet to admit into U. She went to jog around 1830hr. Till 2100hrs, only did my cousin, Jasmine and my daddy senses something amiss that they went out with my uncle to search. In vain, they came back and called all the hospital. Finally, locating someone with identical name at TTSH"
Unfortunately, the family members were called down to the autopsy room to recognise my mum's body. It was diagnosed that she had passed away due to cardio-failure. She must have over-exerted herself, leading to heart to collapse.
Later, it was heard that my mummy was sent to the hospital after some passer-by jogged called for ambulance. However, we couldn't discover what happened exactly...
Life still goes on. However, the significant scar in my heart and hurting truth of this loss of someone beloved, is unforgettable. People always say we still love her in our hearts. I do. So is she in my memory. Everytime i think of her, the chinese song "shi shang zhi you mama hao" will start to sing in my head. Tears will start to tickle down.
I would give up anything, even my life just to exchange her back... for ahma who lost a daughter; for mama and uncle who lost their sibling; for daddy who lost his wife; for Jasmine and Judy who lost her god-mother; for Jimson, my younger brother, who needs Mummy more than he needs me... and for the world, who lost a wonderful, talented, compassionate super-woman...
Je t'aime..
Sarang heyo..
Ashiteru..
Te Quiero..
I love you.. Mummy
-Jason, who didn't get to bid u goodbye
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
De one with "Love"
Rainy
I woke up super early today. Only to be disappointed by the rain. Kinda ruin my plans for a run. Nice weather to sleep though.
Of course i wasn't a lazy bum. So I got out of bed soon, do my usual rountine: Brush teeth, face cleansing. Can you believe it? i'm actually soaking my feet in some cleansing solution for the undesirable fungus infection (a.k.a Foot-rot) while blogging this entry.
Nothing much to report. Was taking my shower just now. I thought about human relationship, especially Love. I guess relationship, be it in all forms, can last. Just judge from the way most of us love our family members. Why? simply because all of us have lived together for long. Ok, just what am i trying to put across here...
Love can survive for eternity. If two people who truly love each other, they should challenge and persevere their relationship under times of pain, misery, stress and joy for a long long time. Understand and compromise, living together rather than facing some problems and think of all sorts of reasons to end their feelings for each other and end up seperating. Lovers should live like the way family members do. Personally, the best would be unconditional love.
Of course, some people would argue that there are instances that the problems faced by the couple might be way beyond control and tolerance. Well, I still recall what -A- and a once good friend Justin, told me. I'd always like to complement it with Newton's 3rd law (lame shit but it's just purely personal perferrence) : Every action has a cause that's equal and sufficient to have come about. In the first place, we can try our ways to prevent it, why not? Or resolve the problem?
Although this might sound abit naive and un-substantial. Yet, ever question why people still buy books like "Why Women can't read maps...". hmmm... I guess, it's a form of people wanted to read and learn to understand and improve their lives after reading it.
Love, to me, means alot. Cause it's the reason that can make my life feel more alive or miserable. It can be a substitute for my meals and vitamins or the very virus that pierce my heart with a zillion knieves from the inside out. It's the reason why I feel "lucky and fortunate" all day or why I grow fatter due to all the beers and chocolates that I'll indulged my misery into.
Gotta dry my feet now. Stay tune for my next entry. hehe =D
I woke up super early today. Only to be disappointed by the rain. Kinda ruin my plans for a run. Nice weather to sleep though.
Of course i wasn't a lazy bum. So I got out of bed soon, do my usual rountine: Brush teeth, face cleansing. Can you believe it? i'm actually soaking my feet in some cleansing solution for the undesirable fungus infection (a.k.a Foot-rot) while blogging this entry.
Nothing much to report. Was taking my shower just now. I thought about human relationship, especially Love. I guess relationship, be it in all forms, can last. Just judge from the way most of us love our family members. Why? simply because all of us have lived together for long. Ok, just what am i trying to put across here...
Love can survive for eternity. If two people who truly love each other, they should challenge and persevere their relationship under times of pain, misery, stress and joy for a long long time. Understand and compromise, living together rather than facing some problems and think of all sorts of reasons to end their feelings for each other and end up seperating. Lovers should live like the way family members do. Personally, the best would be unconditional love.
Of course, some people would argue that there are instances that the problems faced by the couple might be way beyond control and tolerance. Well, I still recall what -A- and a once good friend Justin, told me. I'd always like to complement it with Newton's 3rd law (lame shit but it's just purely personal perferrence) : Every action has a cause that's equal and sufficient to have come about. In the first place, we can try our ways to prevent it, why not? Or resolve the problem?
Although this might sound abit naive and un-substantial. Yet, ever question why people still buy books like "Why Women can't read maps...". hmmm... I guess, it's a form of people wanted to read and learn to understand and improve their lives after reading it.
Love, to me, means alot. Cause it's the reason that can make my life feel more alive or miserable. It can be a substitute for my meals and vitamins or the very virus that pierce my heart with a zillion knieves from the inside out. It's the reason why I feel "lucky and fortunate" all day or why I grow fatter due to all the beers and chocolates that I'll indulged my misery into.
Gotta dry my feet now. Stay tune for my next entry. hehe =D
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
De one with Life changing seasons
Cloudy summertime
At last, life is changing it's seasons.. from the cold, miserable and undesirable winter to a brighter, heart-warming and happier summer!
Have been wanting to go for a run..sigh..getting fat. OMG!
Well it's already mid July. 2 more days to a significant day which smeared a un-erasable wound in my heart and soul. 20 more days before my course at SIM commerces! Couldn't get into NTU engineering but well, it's alright. SIM's not bad too.. I love the campus lor!!
Hmmm... looking forward to both..and someone else.
Been doing nothing much nowadays. This afternoon went home to pack and clean the master-bed room. Sigh. Washed until my fingers and hands were wrinkled then.
Hopefully, summer will really last longer this time round...
At last, life is changing it's seasons.. from the cold, miserable and undesirable winter to a brighter, heart-warming and happier summer!
Have been wanting to go for a run..sigh..getting fat. OMG!
Well it's already mid July. 2 more days to a significant day which smeared a un-erasable wound in my heart and soul. 20 more days before my course at SIM commerces! Couldn't get into NTU engineering but well, it's alright. SIM's not bad too.. I love the campus lor!!
Hmmm... looking forward to both..and someone else.
Been doing nothing much nowadays. This afternoon went home to pack and clean the master-bed room. Sigh. Washed until my fingers and hands were wrinkled then.
Hopefully, summer will really last longer this time round...
Monday, July 10, 2006
De one with Jielong's belated Birthday
Drizzling
Early morning, i went for a jog. When i was finally done with my hair, it started drizzling just when i was on my way out. Planned yesterday, the gang was meeting to celebrate Jielong's belated birthday over lunch. Stupid EZ link card was experiencing problem. So i decided to take a cab down. I was late anyway.
The biggest shock was when the cab was already on the expressway to Bedok, Loo Wan called me to ask where i was because they were intending to cancel the lunch. As most of the gang couldn't make it. I was super boiled. Thank goodness, we did proceed. Only thing was we went to lunch at Tampines Mall's foodcourt with Loo Wan, Jielong and Kok Sin. Instead of having it at Siclub with the whole gang.
I watched two movies today with seperate people. Watched Silent Hill. Then Re-cycle later in the evening with B. Silent Hill was abit blooding and gross. Re-cycle was not too bad. The movie reminded me to be more environmental friendly and not be wasteful!
B's a really nice person. Charming dimples and really adorable smile when he's surprised or awowed! B did a really sweet thing too. Only thing is B complains i walked too fast and lacks eye-contact.
Well, i realised one more thing about myself recently. Well.. I shall keep this in my heart forever.
Goodnight to all.
Early morning, i went for a jog. When i was finally done with my hair, it started drizzling just when i was on my way out. Planned yesterday, the gang was meeting to celebrate Jielong's belated birthday over lunch. Stupid EZ link card was experiencing problem. So i decided to take a cab down. I was late anyway.
The biggest shock was when the cab was already on the expressway to Bedok, Loo Wan called me to ask where i was because they were intending to cancel the lunch. As most of the gang couldn't make it. I was super boiled. Thank goodness, we did proceed. Only thing was we went to lunch at Tampines Mall's foodcourt with Loo Wan, Jielong and Kok Sin. Instead of having it at Siclub with the whole gang.
I watched two movies today with seperate people. Watched Silent Hill. Then Re-cycle later in the evening with B. Silent Hill was abit blooding and gross. Re-cycle was not too bad. The movie reminded me to be more environmental friendly and not be wasteful!
B's a really nice person. Charming dimples and really adorable smile when he's surprised or awowed! B did a really sweet thing too. Only thing is B complains i walked too fast and lacks eye-contact.
Well, i realised one more thing about myself recently. Well.. I shall keep this in my heart forever.
Goodnight to all.
Saturday, July 08, 2006
De one with Spark of happiness
Emolings
I can't help thinking. Are all these doings of God or fate? That's meant to test me?
If it is, how much more do i have to endure through till I'm able to pass?
Because, i'm really tired...
Happiness are like sparks which rise out of nowhere. It catches my attention and make me glow with joy, amazed by it's beauty and abruptness. Yet, before i manage to retain the warmth, it fades and dissappear into nothing.
I can't help thinking. Are all these doings of God or fate? That's meant to test me?
If it is, how much more do i have to endure through till I'm able to pass?
Because, i'm really tired...
Happiness are like sparks which rise out of nowhere. It catches my attention and make me glow with joy, amazed by it's beauty and abruptness. Yet, before i manage to retain the warmth, it fades and dissappear into nothing.
De one with bad temper
Clear skies
It's Saturday. Weekend, however, i was expected to stay at home all day. My aunt (mama) wend M'sia with uncle. Left ah-ma, Jimson and me at home. Sigh. My cousin, Jasmine went out and daddy was MIA. So only me, the abled-person had to be around.
There's a moment when Jasmine called home. Ah ma woke me up just ot pick up that stupid call. Omg. I was kinda super pissed. I dislike people to talk, irritate me with question within 10 mins after i'm awake. Omg. I sat down, turn on the com.. calmed down. And realised I really have a foul temper. Guessed i inherited this quick-temper from my mother bah. But luckily, it's "compensated" with my nature for beign not-petty and ability to resolve my temper very fast.
Since i was "hibernating" in-house all day. I managed to rush my korean drama. Only watched up till the 2nd last episode, b'coz gotta watch the ending with mama. Hmm.. Yin Xiu went MIA and worked at an unfamiliar mini-mart in Seoul. Seeking revenge for his parents who committed suicide due to company bankruptcy, Zheng Wen Tai executed his plan to cause the director Jiang and the family to lose their share holdings in the company. Causing Director and Jiang Xuan Yu to lose their positions in the Global.
Despite facing pressing issues from Xiu Zhen's parents to rush their engagment, a father suffering from stroke as a result of Wen Tai's conspiracy and constant bad mouthing about Yin Xiu from the mother, Xuan Yu kept searching for Yin Xiu's whereabouts. When both of them finally met, Yin Xiu lied to convince Xuan Yu that all she had done was to cheat he's wealth. Only then, the lost Xuan Yu, agreed to get engaged to Xiu Zhen. While Wen Tai start his open courting efforts towards Yin Xiu.
Xuan Yu got into a fight with some drunkard passer-by, resulting him to recover his lost-memories. He finally saw the necklace which was common between him and Yin Xiu, on the engagement day. Xuan Yu, rushed to Dreaming Forest (the place where he used to live in the year of his lost-memory) and reconcile with Yin Xiu.
The lover birds went back to Seoul for Xuan Yu to set up a new firm to win back his share-holdings in Global company and get back at Wen Tai. He developed a new product: Soft flooring, under the strike of guiness from Yin Xiu.
:: I weeped lah... on the scene where Xuan Yu and Yin Xui clear their doubts and reconcile in front of the tree-house letter-box. Xuan Yu learning and appreciating Yin Xiu's hidden sufferings. It was really very touching. Sigh. I was always suffering in silence. I did so much too..for all my exes. Why my fairytale all turned out to be tragedies?
Sigh.. Don't care liao. I wanna be happier from now onwards!
It's Saturday. Weekend, however, i was expected to stay at home all day. My aunt (mama) wend M'sia with uncle. Left ah-ma, Jimson and me at home. Sigh. My cousin, Jasmine went out and daddy was MIA. So only me, the abled-person had to be around.
There's a moment when Jasmine called home. Ah ma woke me up just ot pick up that stupid call. Omg. I was kinda super pissed. I dislike people to talk, irritate me with question within 10 mins after i'm awake. Omg. I sat down, turn on the com.. calmed down. And realised I really have a foul temper. Guessed i inherited this quick-temper from my mother bah. But luckily, it's "compensated" with my nature for beign not-petty and ability to resolve my temper very fast.
Since i was "hibernating" in-house all day. I managed to rush my korean drama. Only watched up till the 2nd last episode, b'coz gotta watch the ending with mama. Hmm.. Yin Xiu went MIA and worked at an unfamiliar mini-mart in Seoul. Seeking revenge for his parents who committed suicide due to company bankruptcy, Zheng Wen Tai executed his plan to cause the director Jiang and the family to lose their share holdings in the company. Causing Director and Jiang Xuan Yu to lose their positions in the Global.
Despite facing pressing issues from Xiu Zhen's parents to rush their engagment, a father suffering from stroke as a result of Wen Tai's conspiracy and constant bad mouthing about Yin Xiu from the mother, Xuan Yu kept searching for Yin Xiu's whereabouts. When both of them finally met, Yin Xiu lied to convince Xuan Yu that all she had done was to cheat he's wealth. Only then, the lost Xuan Yu, agreed to get engaged to Xiu Zhen. While Wen Tai start his open courting efforts towards Yin Xiu.
Xuan Yu got into a fight with some drunkard passer-by, resulting him to recover his lost-memories. He finally saw the necklace which was common between him and Yin Xiu, on the engagement day. Xuan Yu, rushed to Dreaming Forest (the place where he used to live in the year of his lost-memory) and reconcile with Yin Xiu.
The lover birds went back to Seoul for Xuan Yu to set up a new firm to win back his share-holdings in Global company and get back at Wen Tai. He developed a new product: Soft flooring, under the strike of guiness from Yin Xiu.
:: I weeped lah... on the scene where Xuan Yu and Yin Xui clear their doubts and reconcile in front of the tree-house letter-box. Xuan Yu learning and appreciating Yin Xiu's hidden sufferings. It was really very touching. Sigh. I was always suffering in silence. I did so much too..for all my exes. Why my fairytale all turned out to be tragedies?
Sigh.. Don't care liao. I wanna be happier from now onwards!
De one with "Emolings"
Emolings
The day before, I met good-friend-to-be Vance, Andrew, Jeffrey and Winson for dinner. Vance talked to me on our way through Marina Square. He advised me to blog all my miserable feelings.
So.. I've decided to come up with Emolings.
Don't understand what it means right?
Do let me explain some Jason mathematics here.
Emotions (mind) + Feelings (heart) = Emolings.
To further express how i was feeling when i blogged the entry for that day, I've differentiated with colours.
It's true about what some people might say. When a son finds a woman he loves. The part of his heart, which was formally reserved for the mother, will be replaced by the girlfriend. Why suddenly talk about this?
Well, I was watching korean drama, Save the Last Dance for Me. The story progress: Yin Xiu worked at Global, the company which her former fiance, Ji Yi (now Xuan Yu) is working. With the help of Assistant director, her good friend and colleague. Yin Xiu's endurance against all odds and countless bullies by her female colleagues, was finally paid off. Xuan Yu, who initially tried very hard to dislike Yin Xiu upon realising he's growing affection for her, despite him having yet to recover his past year's memory. Just a week before Xuan Yu and his childhood lover, Xiu Zhen's engagement, Xuan Yu brought up a break up. Unable to let go of her love, Xiu Zhen resort to extreme measures to keep Xuan Yu by her side. Sadly, Xuan Yu's father, had a negiotiation with Yin Xiu. Offering her more money to request her to leave their son. Despite similar failed attempts made by Xuan Yu's mom previously. Yin Xiu, after seeing and understand that their love will cause Xuan Yu his future and everyone else to be unhappy, finally agreed to give up her relationship.
Oki..enough. There's this part, when the mom was talking to Yin Xiu, about asking her to leave Xuan Yu. Xuan Yu rushed to the scene an reprimanded his mom over his gf. Sigh. This made me recall.. I chose to spend the last night before i left for Thailand for fatep. End up, missing the very last chance to see my mummy ever again.
Yesterday night, I was really down. I agree fully to what Vance had consoled me when i was heartbroken for months. Most of the time, the person you like may not be interested in you. I was really crying aloud in my heart. I started to question my agony again. Is it really true that i'm not good enough for anybody.. to be able to sitr their hearts for me?
The day before, I met good-friend-to-be Vance, Andrew, Jeffrey and Winson for dinner. Vance talked to me on our way through Marina Square. He advised me to blog all my miserable feelings.
So.. I've decided to come up with Emolings.
Don't understand what it means right?
Do let me explain some Jason mathematics here.
Emotions (mind) + Feelings (heart) = Emolings.
To further express how i was feeling when i blogged the entry for that day, I've differentiated with colours.
It's true about what some people might say. When a son finds a woman he loves. The part of his heart, which was formally reserved for the mother, will be replaced by the girlfriend. Why suddenly talk about this?
Well, I was watching korean drama, Save the Last Dance for Me. The story progress: Yin Xiu worked at Global, the company which her former fiance, Ji Yi (now Xuan Yu) is working. With the help of Assistant director, her good friend and colleague. Yin Xiu's endurance against all odds and countless bullies by her female colleagues, was finally paid off. Xuan Yu, who initially tried very hard to dislike Yin Xiu upon realising he's growing affection for her, despite him having yet to recover his past year's memory. Just a week before Xuan Yu and his childhood lover, Xiu Zhen's engagement, Xuan Yu brought up a break up. Unable to let go of her love, Xiu Zhen resort to extreme measures to keep Xuan Yu by her side. Sadly, Xuan Yu's father, had a negiotiation with Yin Xiu. Offering her more money to request her to leave their son. Despite similar failed attempts made by Xuan Yu's mom previously. Yin Xiu, after seeing and understand that their love will cause Xuan Yu his future and everyone else to be unhappy, finally agreed to give up her relationship.
Oki..enough. There's this part, when the mom was talking to Yin Xiu, about asking her to leave Xuan Yu. Xuan Yu rushed to the scene an reprimanded his mom over his gf. Sigh. This made me recall.. I chose to spend the last night before i left for Thailand for fatep. End up, missing the very last chance to see my mummy ever again.
Yesterday night, I was really down. I agree fully to what Vance had consoled me when i was heartbroken for months. Most of the time, the person you like may not be interested in you. I was really crying aloud in my heart. I started to question my agony again. Is it really true that i'm not good enough for anybody.. to be able to sitr their hearts for me?
Friday, July 07, 2006
De one with Sadness wins the day
Warm and fine skies
It didn't matter anymore. Early afternoon, i finally completed my 950 pieces-puzzle after two days of hardwork. Kinda happy and proud about it. Remembered last time, i love fixing jigsaw puzzles under the influence of my mummy. I recall i'll always fix those which are more prominent and easier-to-fix. Then i'll leave those difficult background for my mummy to settle. Well... Guess i inherited her skill for fixing puzzle now. All on my own.
Was kinda shocked that i discovered i was missing one piece upon using up all my reservior of pieces which are not fixed. As a result, my aunt and granny were "activated" to search for the miserable missing piece. Thankfully, I managed to retrieve it. Must have dropped it when i was sorting out the night before.
It didn't matter anymore. I received my letter from NTU today. Sigh. Disappointingly, i didn't get in. Sigh. (Nearly cried lah). Immediately, i messaged Chin Yu and Cpt Frida (whom i'm so thankful to, for all the trouble u've been through to help me). Sigh. Thanks to Vance, Mohan and Hilary, who have helped me with composing my appeal letter.
Well, this sad news kinda over extinguish all that i was happy about. Sigh.
Maybe.. it's karma bah. I supposed i'm punished for all the sins and wrongs i've committed.
No choice lor.. SIM, here i come.
It didn't matter anymore. Early afternoon, i finally completed my 950 pieces-puzzle after two days of hardwork. Kinda happy and proud about it. Remembered last time, i love fixing jigsaw puzzles under the influence of my mummy. I recall i'll always fix those which are more prominent and easier-to-fix. Then i'll leave those difficult background for my mummy to settle. Well... Guess i inherited her skill for fixing puzzle now. All on my own.
Was kinda shocked that i discovered i was missing one piece upon using up all my reservior of pieces which are not fixed. As a result, my aunt and granny were "activated" to search for the miserable missing piece. Thankfully, I managed to retrieve it. Must have dropped it when i was sorting out the night before.
It didn't matter anymore. I received my letter from NTU today. Sigh. Disappointingly, i didn't get in. Sigh. (Nearly cried lah). Immediately, i messaged Chin Yu and Cpt Frida (whom i'm so thankful to, for all the trouble u've been through to help me). Sigh. Thanks to Vance, Mohan and Hilary, who have helped me with composing my appeal letter.
Well, this sad news kinda over extinguish all that i was happy about. Sigh.
Maybe.. it's karma bah. I supposed i'm punished for all the sins and wrongs i've committed.
No choice lor.. SIM, here i come.
Thursday, July 06, 2006
De one with Weights and Arms-ache
Drizzle and showers
It's been drizzling the whole day. Sigh. My jogging plan failed again.
Anyway, went Orchard road to jalan jalan with Chin Yu. hehehe! Got a new pair of slippers from NUM. My 12'th pair of sliipers lah!!! OMG! It's the World cup limited edition. Printed Japan in white, on a chocolate coloured base with slippers' stripes in white. Nice!
After that, we went down to Marina Square via mrt. Went to purchase dumbbells. 15kg. Duo bars and seperate weights for a price of $85. hehe..gotta train up liao. I wanna push rating up to 8!!! IPPT's around the corner too.
Here's the sad and disappointing part. Chin Yu wanted to walk around longer. Sigh. It was only then that i realised how stupid i was. Should have only bought the weights on my way home. Sigh. End up, i had to carry the heavy load around all the way to Suntec. My arms became weak lah... I remember i was trying to drink the soup from the sppon and my hand was trembling. Omg. Sigh. Thank Goodness, we only went there to eat. After that, no choice. Took a cab home.
On my way back, I heard a familiar song over the radio. It was titled "Wo zui shen ai de ren shang wo zhui sheng" by Ah-mei and Zhang Yu Sheng. It made me recall abit about how i used to listen to this song when i was heartbroken back then.
Then, my mind settled on -A- again. I thought about two types of SORRY i've ever used in my life. One was out of general politeness, courtesy which i always used. Another was a genuine heartfelt which is the next best alternative to me kneeling down and crying my heart out, begging for forgiveness. Well.. I've always used the 2nd type on all my exes. Sigh. It dawn apon me, that.. I've never had anyone said a deep-heartfelt "sorry" nor do anything for me..
Definately, not from those i really loved except my parents, aunt and granny.
Am i really that un-worthy?
It's been drizzling the whole day. Sigh. My jogging plan failed again.
Anyway, went Orchard road to jalan jalan with Chin Yu. hehehe! Got a new pair of slippers from NUM. My 12'th pair of sliipers lah!!! OMG! It's the World cup limited edition. Printed Japan in white, on a chocolate coloured base with slippers' stripes in white. Nice!
After that, we went down to Marina Square via mrt. Went to purchase dumbbells. 15kg. Duo bars and seperate weights for a price of $85. hehe..gotta train up liao. I wanna push rating up to 8!!! IPPT's around the corner too.
Here's the sad and disappointing part. Chin Yu wanted to walk around longer. Sigh. It was only then that i realised how stupid i was. Should have only bought the weights on my way home. Sigh. End up, i had to carry the heavy load around all the way to Suntec. My arms became weak lah... I remember i was trying to drink the soup from the sppon and my hand was trembling. Omg. Sigh. Thank Goodness, we only went there to eat. After that, no choice. Took a cab home.
On my way back, I heard a familiar song over the radio. It was titled "Wo zui shen ai de ren shang wo zhui sheng" by Ah-mei and Zhang Yu Sheng. It made me recall abit about how i used to listen to this song when i was heartbroken back then.
Then, my mind settled on -A- again. I thought about two types of SORRY i've ever used in my life. One was out of general politeness, courtesy which i always used. Another was a genuine heartfelt which is the next best alternative to me kneeling down and crying my heart out, begging for forgiveness. Well.. I've always used the 2nd type on all my exes. Sigh. It dawn apon me, that.. I've never had anyone said a deep-heartfelt "sorry" nor do anything for me..
Definately, not from those i really loved except my parents, aunt and granny.
Am i really that un-worthy?
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
De one with "A changed Jason"
Warm night
I was watching Save the last dance for me today. The story progess to Xuan Yu (the director's son) recalled his memories after a car accident. Just a short period after he's engagement with Yin Xiu, he returned back to his family. Sigh. Now, another year have past. See what happens next bah.
Well..that's just a sidetrack. I realised i'm changed. I've become less responsible. That's the reason why i get so bored easily. Even to the point I lose concentration more than easier. Sigh. I hate this. It's like defying my responsible nature...
I was watching Save the last dance for me today. The story progess to Xuan Yu (the director's son) recalled his memories after a car accident. Just a short period after he's engagement with Yin Xiu, he returned back to his family. Sigh. Now, another year have past. See what happens next bah.
Well..that's just a sidetrack. I realised i'm changed. I've become less responsible. That's the reason why i get so bored easily. Even to the point I lose concentration more than easier. Sigh. I hate this. It's like defying my responsible nature...
De one with Ear peircings
Windy
I've always wanted to have my left ear peirced. Well..it's true.. Peer pressure during adolescence and media influence have a great impact on the way person "accessories" their looks and appearance.
I remembered I've always been maintaining a goodie-goody, earnest look. Throughout my 10 years of education, earrings were a "NO NO". Firstly, it's going to get troublesome with the school's discipline. Secondly, it will only boast feminity to me. Sigh.
It wasn't until after ORD when i suddenly have the interest in having my ear peirced. Well... perhaps it might be because of the previous long awaited years of being confined by my disciplined environment... or because of vainity desire... Maybe it's because I saw Jay Chou had his ear peirced (which actually turn out to be a magnetic ear stud) in his 11月的萧邦... Or my bestest friend Chin Yu (or even majorly -A-)'s afflence.. To a certain extend, i guess i was too traumatised by the events of misery which made me wanna have changes bah.
Ha! I had my very first peircing done at Plaza Singapura. Went with Chin Yu, after weeks of serious dilematic consideration. Omg. Well, I'd still remembered I was super anxious during my first ear-peircing experience. Kinda trembling when the lady "xia shou". Oooh.. It was after the mere seconds when the burning with numb sensation start to activate. A surge of adreline rush.
My aunt, mummy and granny used to tell me. Guys have their ears peirced because it's a traditional way of making them grown up. To be more matured. Then, my campmate said, once a peircing is done, one's life, fate or destiny would be altered. Life will definatey not be the same as before. Well.. it wasn't much of what they've said. Beforehand, i've already been a rather supersitious about certain stuff like this. Well, it's definately true of personal experience. Life was pretty screwed up after my 1st peircing. So...
The second one was done months later (a couple of weeks back) at Plaza Singapura, again. Same shop. Same person to accoy me. The most significant about this experience was it was "quick and short". Surprisingly, it was compensated with the ringing pain. My tears nearly flowed out. Omg. I don't really know how to express it. However, I did felt something that stirred within me. The best described, the same as how Harry Potter felt when he first held the magic wand meant for him Oops. hehe. Oki. Be more pragmatic. I felt when the peircing was done, it some how triggered a shock in my nervous system. Perhaps my life was changed as though someone'd never be the same again after being electricuted.
Again, Vainity really comes with a deadly price of pain. The most tormenting part of having ear peircing is the fear of not being able to locate the ear-hole when changing your ear studs. Omg. Two very bd experiences occured before. The second was unforgettable! I recalled i spent an agonising 45mins, trying to find my ear-hole. Until "lao zup". My cousin had to help me out.
Wait! Must be wondering how's my life now? It's.. kinda better now. Thankfully. Hehe..
I've always wanted to have my left ear peirced. Well..it's true.. Peer pressure during adolescence and media influence have a great impact on the way person "accessories" their looks and appearance.
I remembered I've always been maintaining a goodie-goody, earnest look. Throughout my 10 years of education, earrings were a "NO NO". Firstly, it's going to get troublesome with the school's discipline. Secondly, it will only boast feminity to me. Sigh.
It wasn't until after ORD when i suddenly have the interest in having my ear peirced. Well... perhaps it might be because of the previous long awaited years of being confined by my disciplined environment... or because of vainity desire... Maybe it's because I saw Jay Chou had his ear peirced (which actually turn out to be a magnetic ear stud) in his 11月的萧邦... Or my bestest friend Chin Yu (or even majorly -A-)'s afflence.. To a certain extend, i guess i was too traumatised by the events of misery which made me wanna have changes bah.
Ha! I had my very first peircing done at Plaza Singapura. Went with Chin Yu, after weeks of serious dilematic consideration. Omg. Well, I'd still remembered I was super anxious during my first ear-peircing experience. Kinda trembling when the lady "xia shou". Oooh.. It was after the mere seconds when the burning with numb sensation start to activate. A surge of adreline rush.
My aunt, mummy and granny used to tell me. Guys have their ears peirced because it's a traditional way of making them grown up. To be more matured. Then, my campmate said, once a peircing is done, one's life, fate or destiny would be altered. Life will definatey not be the same as before. Well.. it wasn't much of what they've said. Beforehand, i've already been a rather supersitious about certain stuff like this. Well, it's definately true of personal experience. Life was pretty screwed up after my 1st peircing. So...
The second one was done months later (a couple of weeks back) at Plaza Singapura, again. Same shop. Same person to accoy me. The most significant about this experience was it was "quick and short". Surprisingly, it was compensated with the ringing pain. My tears nearly flowed out. Omg. I don't really know how to express it. However, I did felt something that stirred within me. The best described, the same as how Harry Potter felt when he first held the magic wand meant for him Oops. hehe. Oki. Be more pragmatic. I felt when the peircing was done, it some how triggered a shock in my nervous system. Perhaps my life was changed as though someone'd never be the same again after being electricuted.
Again, Vainity really comes with a deadly price of pain. The most tormenting part of having ear peircing is the fear of not being able to locate the ear-hole when changing your ear studs. Omg. Two very bd experiences occured before. The second was unforgettable! I recalled i spent an agonising 45mins, trying to find my ear-hole. Until "lao zup". My cousin had to help me out.
Wait! Must be wondering how's my life now? It's.. kinda better now. Thankfully. Hehe..
De one with Beautiful night
Nightful of stars
Clara messaged me that tonight's a really beautiful night. With all the visible twinkle-stars, clear skies. It's a considerably rare ocassion ever since my last time i actually got to sight this beautiful scenery for a very long time. Thanks Clara, for your special way of cheering me up.
I watched the new korean drama, "Save the last dance for me" after seeing it being advertised on Channel U a couple days back. The story line is really nice. So far, the story progesed until the part whereby a rich director's son, who was mugged and presumbly died after a car explosion, is alived after one year. He's in love with this neighbourhood girl. Everything they did was so sweet. Post notes and presents into this house-modelled mailbox, crafted by the male lead. The way they confess their love. The painful yet touching moment of them being seperated by their circumstances. Sigh. Made me sent Clara this sms:
"Itz lik u saw wat happiness ppl haf n u start to feel sour. Plus frustrated y such things wun happen on urself. Itz lik when u c how pitiful others are, den u start 2 relate some (familiar or appropriate) 2 urself. Feeling sad and wonder how lost and alone u r coz no matter how much u do but u dun get wat u deserved (the recognition of wat u did or ur existence). No matter how tough, u realise u dun haf a person who truly understand n care, embrace or protect u... itz bcuz u dun feel being appreciated in life and ppl ard u.. Or nostalgic memories stirred.. Tt tears starts to fall"
..or am I just being too over emotional or unneccessarily sensitive?
Perhaps it's supposedly due to this morning's visit to the temple for commemoration of Mummy's Lunar one year death anniversary bah. Prepared by laying out the food: White Chicken, Braised Pork, Braised Char Siew, Huaw Kuay, Pig's Trotter and Bah Kuuh Teh, Coffee, Plain rice, Assorted fruit (I recognised this "flatten Japanese Peach", similar to the one in Memoirs of Geisha where Saiyuri gave out to symbolise her Mizuake's ready for bidding).
Before keeping everything, we went down to have all the boxes "of wealth" and incense paper burnt.
Mummy, do rest in peace. Thank you for everything. I miss you beyond description, from within what's leftover of my heart...
Clara messaged me that tonight's a really beautiful night. With all the visible twinkle-stars, clear skies. It's a considerably rare ocassion ever since my last time i actually got to sight this beautiful scenery for a very long time. Thanks Clara, for your special way of cheering me up.
I watched the new korean drama, "Save the last dance for me" after seeing it being advertised on Channel U a couple days back. The story line is really nice. So far, the story progesed until the part whereby a rich director's son, who was mugged and presumbly died after a car explosion, is alived after one year. He's in love with this neighbourhood girl. Everything they did was so sweet. Post notes and presents into this house-modelled mailbox, crafted by the male lead. The way they confess their love. The painful yet touching moment of them being seperated by their circumstances. Sigh. Made me sent Clara this sms:
"Itz lik u saw wat happiness ppl haf n u start to feel sour. Plus frustrated y such things wun happen on urself. Itz lik when u c how pitiful others are, den u start 2 relate some (familiar or appropriate) 2 urself. Feeling sad and wonder how lost and alone u r coz no matter how much u do but u dun get wat u deserved (the recognition of wat u did or ur existence). No matter how tough, u realise u dun haf a person who truly understand n care, embrace or protect u... itz bcuz u dun feel being appreciated in life and ppl ard u.. Or nostalgic memories stirred.. Tt tears starts to fall"
..or am I just being too over emotional or unneccessarily sensitive?
Perhaps it's supposedly due to this morning's visit to the temple for commemoration of Mummy's Lunar one year death anniversary bah. Prepared by laying out the food: White Chicken, Braised Pork, Braised Char Siew, Huaw Kuay, Pig's Trotter and Bah Kuuh Teh, Coffee, Plain rice, Assorted fruit (I recognised this "flatten Japanese Peach", similar to the one in Memoirs of Geisha where Saiyuri gave out to symbolise her Mizuake's ready for bidding).
Before keeping everything, we went down to have all the boxes "of wealth" and incense paper burnt.
Mummy, do rest in peace. Thank you for everything. I miss you beyond description, from within what's leftover of my heart...
Sunday, July 02, 2006
De one with Faraway Happiness
Cloudy, warm
Early woke up to run around 5 km before meeting "bro" and Andrew for swim. Apparently, both didn't turn out well as expected. Why? Coz' running, i'm losing my stamina. Even before the swim, i pissed "bro" with my sms-es. During the swim, "bro" didn't even talk to me. Sigh.
There was this moment, i finished a lap, memories of my previous ex-es, suddenly flashed through my mind, as if a movie of shortclips was showing. It was then i nearly broke down again.
I kinda made things clear with AY yesterday. However, AY still wanted to try. Sigh. I really don't wanna hurt anybody. It's undoubtful that i really need to seek shelter in the arms of a person to love me. However, i'm still hesitating. I really have no idea when is this going to end.
I'm losing faith too.
We lunched at Cafe Cartel. Treated them both. We then walked around J8. Woo..feeding my eyes full with all the eye-candies. Omg.
Tomorrow will be a day of tears and sadness bah.. Because my aunt is going to ceremony (lunar) one year anniversary of my late mother's death.
*sniffs*
Early woke up to run around 5 km before meeting "bro" and Andrew for swim. Apparently, both didn't turn out well as expected. Why? Coz' running, i'm losing my stamina. Even before the swim, i pissed "bro" with my sms-es. During the swim, "bro" didn't even talk to me. Sigh.
There was this moment, i finished a lap, memories of my previous ex-es, suddenly flashed through my mind, as if a movie of shortclips was showing. It was then i nearly broke down again.
I kinda made things clear with AY yesterday. However, AY still wanted to try. Sigh. I really don't wanna hurt anybody. It's undoubtful that i really need to seek shelter in the arms of a person to love me. However, i'm still hesitating. I really have no idea when is this going to end.
I'm losing faith too.
We lunched at Cafe Cartel. Treated them both. We then walked around J8. Woo..feeding my eyes full with all the eye-candies. Omg.
Tomorrow will be a day of tears and sadness bah.. Because my aunt is going to ceremony (lunar) one year anniversary of my late mother's death.
*sniffs*
Friday, June 30, 2006
De one with "I understand how you felt" finally
Sunny
Since yesterday, i've been thinking.. about the failed relationship, opposing differences and feelings, thinkings between me and -A-. But, most of all, i'd really sincerely, apologise to AY. I really think you're a very nice and wonderful person. However, i still can't sort out my feelings. Like you've said, i'm really stuck in my past.
Although everyone would advise or even to a point, reprimand me to move on. No matter how much excuses or whatever pushing pursuasions, my tears still keeps flowing... heart keeps bleeding... mind keeps blurring up. Reason is one and simple... I really did love -A- alot.
I admit some of the things i've done were very stubborn and persistent. I admit I was too rash. I admit I was too foolish and gullible to go against our odds. But have you ever asked WHY?
Today, i went IKEA with my former campmate, our responsible and friendly gunnery specialist, Zhen Ze. After having went down to SIM (Singapore Institution of Management) for payment for our uni course. Which will be commencing on 31st July.
Everytime i went IKEA, flashbacks emerge in my mind. How we met your friends Derius and Kelly. That time we dine with Chris, V and gang... Lunch with Dexter.. Sigh.. I was on the bus, on my way back home. Listening to ipod but me mind was wondering off. I thought of the present lonely me... about our past.. I nearly cried. What the fark is wrong with me.
I shouldn't be doing all these. Shdn't even mention because I was too caught up, too obstinate.
Now, I understand how you felt finally.
How you used to like a person. Then after that draw your distance between them. You don't wish to hurt the person. Yet he's so superbly nice to you that you don't know how to reject.
I understand how you felt finally.
-A-, I love you. As much as I dislike you. Because... you disregarded and forsakened me.
Since yesterday, i've been thinking.. about the failed relationship, opposing differences and feelings, thinkings between me and -A-. But, most of all, i'd really sincerely, apologise to AY. I really think you're a very nice and wonderful person. However, i still can't sort out my feelings. Like you've said, i'm really stuck in my past.
Although everyone would advise or even to a point, reprimand me to move on. No matter how much excuses or whatever pushing pursuasions, my tears still keeps flowing... heart keeps bleeding... mind keeps blurring up. Reason is one and simple... I really did love -A- alot.
I admit some of the things i've done were very stubborn and persistent. I admit I was too rash. I admit I was too foolish and gullible to go against our odds. But have you ever asked WHY?
Today, i went IKEA with my former campmate, our responsible and friendly gunnery specialist, Zhen Ze. After having went down to SIM (Singapore Institution of Management) for payment for our uni course. Which will be commencing on 31st July.
Everytime i went IKEA, flashbacks emerge in my mind. How we met your friends Derius and Kelly. That time we dine with Chris, V and gang... Lunch with Dexter.. Sigh.. I was on the bus, on my way back home. Listening to ipod but me mind was wondering off. I thought of the present lonely me... about our past.. I nearly cried. What the fark is wrong with me.
I shouldn't be doing all these. Shdn't even mention because I was too caught up, too obstinate.
Now, I understand how you felt finally.
How you used to like a person. Then after that draw your distance between them. You don't wish to hurt the person. Yet he's so superbly nice to you that you don't know how to reject.
I understand how you felt finally.
-A-, I love you. As much as I dislike you. Because... you disregarded and forsakened me.
De one with Superman Returns
Clear skies
This evening, i went to watch "Superman Returns" with AY. The lastest movie released just today.It's pretty cool. Alot of zoom in and zoom out, fascinating fast movement and filming effects. However, I felt the storyline wasn't that good.
The movie starts with Clark Kent, a teenager was sent to Earth in a crytallised porter by his alien father whose planet was doomed. He grew up in the farm where an old couple brought up Superman. The grown up Clark Kent was re-employed by his former newspaper firm. Throughout, it was dwelling between the bad mastermind, who discovered these powerful crystals left behind by Superman's father; unresolved relationship between a married Lois Lane and Superman; and of course, not forgetting Superman and his helpful deeds.
Gosh. Superman was goodlooking (omg, those brillant deep blue eyes), invincible. Tall framed but not that muscular. Although it's commendable of his rubber-bricked costume. Yet still not changes made to that ugly red briefs. hehe
Lois Lane wasn't so sexy nor intelligent looking... Sigh.
Oh, lame thing was that Superman was near dying towards the end of the part. There was a funny part the surgeon wanted to give a jab. End up, the syringe needle went bent. Hahaha!
I thought alot.. about me and AY. Just only 2nd day of dating. End up, i told AY that I can only give what i have and can give. However, i can't give a fully committed heart to accept AY as my lover. Sigh. Don't know. For a moment, i thought getting dating and attached with someone i love is what i truly wanted. That from which i'll be able to attain happiness. I was wrong. End up, rejecting 4 people liao, regardless directly or discreetly.
Sigh. I'm really like Superman. So closed to the one you have feelings for. Yet, you just have to let that special someone go.
And i truly understand what -A- meant when -A- said: "You can't determine what will happen in the future. Be it tomorrow, a month later..a few years later.."
:: You have to be the one saying it, to understand it's true meaning completely.
When will my Superwoman/Superman comes around and stay with me for life?
This evening, i went to watch "Superman Returns" with AY. The lastest movie released just today.It's pretty cool. Alot of zoom in and zoom out, fascinating fast movement and filming effects. However, I felt the storyline wasn't that good.
The movie starts with Clark Kent, a teenager was sent to Earth in a crytallised porter by his alien father whose planet was doomed. He grew up in the farm where an old couple brought up Superman. The grown up Clark Kent was re-employed by his former newspaper firm. Throughout, it was dwelling between the bad mastermind, who discovered these powerful crystals left behind by Superman's father; unresolved relationship between a married Lois Lane and Superman; and of course, not forgetting Superman and his helpful deeds.
Gosh. Superman was goodlooking (omg, those brillant deep blue eyes), invincible. Tall framed but not that muscular. Although it's commendable of his rubber-bricked costume. Yet still not changes made to that ugly red briefs. hehe
Lois Lane wasn't so sexy nor intelligent looking... Sigh.
Oh, lame thing was that Superman was near dying towards the end of the part. There was a funny part the surgeon wanted to give a jab. End up, the syringe needle went bent. Hahaha!
I thought alot.. about me and AY. Just only 2nd day of dating. End up, i told AY that I can only give what i have and can give. However, i can't give a fully committed heart to accept AY as my lover. Sigh. Don't know. For a moment, i thought getting dating and attached with someone i love is what i truly wanted. That from which i'll be able to attain happiness. I was wrong. End up, rejecting 4 people liao, regardless directly or discreetly.
Sigh. I'm really like Superman. So closed to the one you have feelings for. Yet, you just have to let that special someone go.
And i truly understand what -A- meant when -A- said: "You can't determine what will happen in the future. Be it tomorrow, a month later..a few years later.."
:: You have to be the one saying it, to understand it's true meaning completely.
When will my Superwoman/Superman comes around and stay with me for life?
Thursday, June 29, 2006
De one with Both Sides of Luck
Fair, sunny and romantic clouds
As early as 0630hrs i was commencing reveilli. HEHE! so proud of myself.
Well, sms-ed alot of friends, wishing them good morning. Everyone was surprised over me waking up so early. Initially, i woke up so early to help mama bring Jimson (my younger brother) to school. Had to transport him on his wheelchair, down the 4 flights of stairs.
End up, uncle brought him down. I felt..redundant : Plan A demolished!
After changed, i gathered my essential stuff and headed off to Mac Rictchie Reservoir.
Accomplishment of 7km run, routine excercises and cool-down, only let to a demoralising next happening! Omg! my locker got stuck!
At first i tried not to panic although at the back of my mind, I can't help thinking about the unluckiness featured in "Just my Luck" movie I've just watched yesterday. Sigh. What are the odds that such unluckiness can befall on me!
Sadly, it did. I went searching for the park Office. Finally got there after climbing up-slope, only to get directed to the "canteen" caretaker. Sigh~ Made a total of 5 trips (including returning of the RD-40 cleansing spray which made it possible) for my locker to be unlocked. Omg.
Afternoon met up my good friend, Mohan Gopalan. A very close friend since i've known through ASC course. He was formerly from the same SISPEC foxtrot coy; ASC detachment mate and later, Battalion mate. Went Citylink to collect my NUM membership card (YES! a new card for my collection!). Followed by, jalan jalan at Suntec, coffee-chat, then reap our share of GSS at Orchard. After which we dined at TCC after so long! Yummy...
At night, i finally met up with AY. Someone i got to know recently from the net, just 3-4 days ago. Well... it was an unexpected change of Luck. At last, for once, another spark of hope is beginning to rise in my life. Thank Fate and God...and maybe Luck.
*blush*
Phew~ Experienced both sides of luck in a day. Wonderful =P
As early as 0630hrs i was commencing reveilli. HEHE! so proud of myself.
Well, sms-ed alot of friends, wishing them good morning. Everyone was surprised over me waking up so early. Initially, i woke up so early to help mama bring Jimson (my younger brother) to school. Had to transport him on his wheelchair, down the 4 flights of stairs.
End up, uncle brought him down. I felt..redundant : Plan A demolished!
After changed, i gathered my essential stuff and headed off to Mac Rictchie Reservoir.
Accomplishment of 7km run, routine excercises and cool-down, only let to a demoralising next happening! Omg! my locker got stuck!
At first i tried not to panic although at the back of my mind, I can't help thinking about the unluckiness featured in "Just my Luck" movie I've just watched yesterday. Sigh. What are the odds that such unluckiness can befall on me!
Sadly, it did. I went searching for the park Office. Finally got there after climbing up-slope, only to get directed to the "canteen" caretaker. Sigh~ Made a total of 5 trips (including returning of the RD-40 cleansing spray which made it possible) for my locker to be unlocked. Omg.
Afternoon met up my good friend, Mohan Gopalan. A very close friend since i've known through ASC course. He was formerly from the same SISPEC foxtrot coy; ASC detachment mate and later, Battalion mate. Went Citylink to collect my NUM membership card (YES! a new card for my collection!). Followed by, jalan jalan at Suntec, coffee-chat, then reap our share of GSS at Orchard. After which we dined at TCC after so long! Yummy...
At night, i finally met up with AY. Someone i got to know recently from the net, just 3-4 days ago. Well... it was an unexpected change of Luck. At last, for once, another spark of hope is beginning to rise in my life. Thank Fate and God...and maybe Luck.
*blush*
Phew~ Experienced both sides of luck in a day. Wonderful =P
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
De one with Facial
Sunny
Went for facial at Anna's new shop in AMK central this afternoon. After what? almost 11 mths since my last visit.. Was in a hurry, so took a cab down. Sigh! end up still gotta wait upon reaching there.
Well, the new place's really great. With marbled floor, air-conditioned and they even play calming music, the lighting, deco and everything..really made the whole place like some high-class spa.
So lucky! got offered to get my facial in the most spaceous room. Hmm..wanna know what was my facial like? hehe.. 1st: they washed and cleanse my face with some chemical which smells like calamasi and dry orange peels. Was told it's supposedly to cause "biting" effect when applied. However i felt nothing ley!
2nd: Followed was the "face steaming" by a hot vapouriser machine. I guess it's to open my pores. But thanks to this! Helped me last through the painfulness from 3rd: Treatment of pimples and blackheads!!
Super painful! According to Anna, she said there's alot of "hidden" clog pores. Thus, she used more strength to force these impurities out of my skin. That's the part which cause my face to be sore as if someone drew "poker-dots" onto my cheeks.
After Anna was done, i was so relieved lah!
Thankfully the painful experience was compensated with the next 4th phase, whereby a cooling mask was done.
After mask removal and cleansing, Anna applied pimple cream on my face. Followed by some gel and a "cooling" treatment. She used this ball (like those baby probe-toy) equipment which is filled with cold water and rubbed against my face.
Before i left, she even used this UV probe to "zap" my face. I supposed it was to prevent soreness and infection. Well well, the whole facial experience was painful but great. Not cheap wor! Vainity caused me 62 bucks!
What to do?... face getting buang!
Evening, supposedly meeting Andrew and "bro" for dinner. However, last minute "bro" was unable to make it due to family dinner. End up i still met up with Andrew for dinner and movie!
Watched "Just My Luck" and i really wonder, wuao! How i wish i was half as lucky as the characters were. Everything in life happen so smoothly and successful.. What a desirable life!
Hmm.. of course, i do understand. Nothing in this world is completely wonderful and free. You can be lucky but you still have to return in other ways.
Went for facial at Anna's new shop in AMK central this afternoon. After what? almost 11 mths since my last visit.. Was in a hurry, so took a cab down. Sigh! end up still gotta wait upon reaching there.
Well, the new place's really great. With marbled floor, air-conditioned and they even play calming music, the lighting, deco and everything..really made the whole place like some high-class spa.
So lucky! got offered to get my facial in the most spaceous room. Hmm..wanna know what was my facial like? hehe.. 1st: they washed and cleanse my face with some chemical which smells like calamasi and dry orange peels. Was told it's supposedly to cause "biting" effect when applied. However i felt nothing ley!
2nd: Followed was the "face steaming" by a hot vapouriser machine. I guess it's to open my pores. But thanks to this! Helped me last through the painfulness from 3rd: Treatment of pimples and blackheads!!
Super painful! According to Anna, she said there's alot of "hidden" clog pores. Thus, she used more strength to force these impurities out of my skin. That's the part which cause my face to be sore as if someone drew "poker-dots" onto my cheeks.
After Anna was done, i was so relieved lah!
Thankfully the painful experience was compensated with the next 4th phase, whereby a cooling mask was done.
After mask removal and cleansing, Anna applied pimple cream on my face. Followed by some gel and a "cooling" treatment. She used this ball (like those baby probe-toy) equipment which is filled with cold water and rubbed against my face.
Before i left, she even used this UV probe to "zap" my face. I supposed it was to prevent soreness and infection. Well well, the whole facial experience was painful but great. Not cheap wor! Vainity caused me 62 bucks!
What to do?... face getting buang!
Evening, supposedly meeting Andrew and "bro" for dinner. However, last minute "bro" was unable to make it due to family dinner. End up i still met up with Andrew for dinner and movie!
Watched "Just My Luck" and i really wonder, wuao! How i wish i was half as lucky as the characters were. Everything in life happen so smoothly and successful.. What a desirable life!
Hmm.. of course, i do understand. Nothing in this world is completely wonderful and free. You can be lucky but you still have to return in other ways.
Saturday, June 24, 2006
De one with Class reunion'06 (color-coded edition)
Sunny
The day didn't start off very good. Early morning i did a very unforgivable thing. I was pretty rude to my granny, who was asking me alot of questions (because i was damn pissed with not being able to contact my dad at home, to inform him of the new timing about our meeting at Ang Mo Kio Centre). Sorry, ah-ma. I really didn't mean to be so rude towards you. I never say it out but in my heart and mind. I understand and appreciate your genuine, affectious care and concern over us, beyond words to describe.
I was super pissed with my daddy. Early morning didn't know where he's gone. I arrived, as agreed between my cousin Jasmine and me, at 1030 am. Only to have to wait for my daddy, who only rushed to AMK to meet us from ah-ma's house. Super dupper pissed because all along, i've been asking him to carry a hp. Reason being, it will be convinent to call and contact him since he always goes MIA. Sigh. I was cursing and swearing throughtout my wait at the bus-stop in front of Jubilee.
We went to the former "BK building". In hope for an available chance to see the lawyer at HOH law firm, to settle the letter of administration for my late-mother's assets. The only available and most convinent time for us (Daddy's and Jasmine's working mah) was during weekends. Sadly, the law firm doesn't offer any booking of appoinment over weekends. So we had to go down personally to try by luck. In the end, we didn't manage to get a slot because all were already occupied by other "walk-in" clients. Well, fixed a date where both Daddy and Jasmine were able to take leave, specially during a Friday. So irritating and annoyed. What a wasted trip!
We then lunched at Crystal Jade Resturant at J8. Had the normal dim sum and noodles. Sigh..the variety of dim sum were so limited. Omg.
The next bad thing occurred after having returned to granny's place. I was changing my newly peirced earring (3 days ago). So super dupper unlucky that i couldn't find the ear-hole. Sigh.. tried damn super long, end up my ear hole lao zup! Omg. I was in so much distress until Jasmine has to come help me. End up, using the initial earring, i think i re-peirced, creating another hole, off-side from the original position at the back of my ear. Sigh!
Vanity really comes with a dreadful price of pain!!
Went jogging. My 3rd consecutive day of jogging. Sigh..what to do...getting fat!
I was disappointed because i feel that i'm unable to complete the distance i've planned. Guess i'm really losing alot of stamina. Running shorter and shorter distance per run.
The greatest unpleasant event of the day was the finale Class reunion at Marina Square Seoul Garden. First thing, i was super late. Meet initially at 6pm. End up arriving only at 7pm. Omg.
Second, i was super bored when everyone elses are talking and catching up with one another. Talking about local uni admission, faculty fun-camps. Sigh.. all of which i have no participation in.
That's when the Mr. Lonely song starts to play in my head...
On my way home in the bus. I start to think. I even messaged Clara. I realise whatever -A- said about me were true. Matter of fact is i'm a very anti-social person. Who doesn't like to talk, share conversation. I'm so "pathetic" until i'm able to make others feel they are unable to strike any conversation with me. End up, i just sit there and "stone".
That's why, this will forever be the distance between -A- & me, which makes it impossible for us to be lovers.
(Sobs)
Worst is, i know where the problem lies within me. Yet, all i do is whine, complain and sigh over it. Reluctant to do anything about it.
-A- said before.. "You make urself look bad in front of others. Not me."
It's all true...
What a big farking Loser Jason is... I hate myself (jtshin~ban)...
:'<
The day didn't start off very good. Early morning i did a very unforgivable thing. I was pretty rude to my granny, who was asking me alot of questions (because i was damn pissed with not being able to contact my dad at home, to inform him of the new timing about our meeting at Ang Mo Kio Centre). Sorry, ah-ma. I really didn't mean to be so rude towards you. I never say it out but in my heart and mind. I understand and appreciate your genuine, affectious care and concern over us, beyond words to describe.
I was super pissed with my daddy. Early morning didn't know where he's gone. I arrived, as agreed between my cousin Jasmine and me, at 1030 am. Only to have to wait for my daddy, who only rushed to AMK to meet us from ah-ma's house. Super dupper pissed because all along, i've been asking him to carry a hp. Reason being, it will be convinent to call and contact him since he always goes MIA. Sigh. I was cursing and swearing throughtout my wait at the bus-stop in front of Jubilee.
We went to the former "BK building". In hope for an available chance to see the lawyer at HOH law firm, to settle the letter of administration for my late-mother's assets. The only available and most convinent time for us (Daddy's and Jasmine's working mah) was during weekends. Sadly, the law firm doesn't offer any booking of appoinment over weekends. So we had to go down personally to try by luck. In the end, we didn't manage to get a slot because all were already occupied by other "walk-in" clients. Well, fixed a date where both Daddy and Jasmine were able to take leave, specially during a Friday. So irritating and annoyed. What a wasted trip!
We then lunched at Crystal Jade Resturant at J8. Had the normal dim sum and noodles. Sigh..the variety of dim sum were so limited. Omg.
The next bad thing occurred after having returned to granny's place. I was changing my newly peirced earring (3 days ago). So super dupper unlucky that i couldn't find the ear-hole. Sigh.. tried damn super long, end up my ear hole lao zup! Omg. I was in so much distress until Jasmine has to come help me. End up, using the initial earring, i think i re-peirced, creating another hole, off-side from the original position at the back of my ear. Sigh!
Vanity really comes with a dreadful price of pain!!
Went jogging. My 3rd consecutive day of jogging. Sigh..what to do...getting fat!
I was disappointed because i feel that i'm unable to complete the distance i've planned. Guess i'm really losing alot of stamina. Running shorter and shorter distance per run.
The greatest unpleasant event of the day was the finale Class reunion at Marina Square Seoul Garden. First thing, i was super late. Meet initially at 6pm. End up arriving only at 7pm. Omg.
Second, i was super bored when everyone elses are talking and catching up with one another. Talking about local uni admission, faculty fun-camps. Sigh.. all of which i have no participation in.
That's when the Mr. Lonely song starts to play in my head...
On my way home in the bus. I start to think. I even messaged Clara. I realise whatever -A- said about me were true. Matter of fact is i'm a very anti-social person. Who doesn't like to talk, share conversation. I'm so "pathetic" until i'm able to make others feel they are unable to strike any conversation with me. End up, i just sit there and "stone".
That's why, this will forever be the distance between -A- & me, which makes it impossible for us to be lovers.
(Sobs)
Worst is, i know where the problem lies within me. Yet, all i do is whine, complain and sigh over it. Reluctant to do anything about it.
-A- said before.. "You make urself look bad in front of others. Not me."
It's all true...
What a big farking Loser Jason is... I hate myself (jtshin~ban)...
:'<
De one with "I still miss you"
3/4 of rain, 1/4 of me
Today's just another day for me. Waking up in the morning, giving some thoughts to that special someone i've been missing. Despite it's already been 2 mths plus since our final parting.
The morning wet weather was a spolit to my initial plan of going for jog and hopeful, leisure swim and suntanning. Instead, i stayed indoors. Having my hair dyed DIY. End product? looks oki. Stunning red hair! Kinda pleased by it. Disappointingl, i was thinking that maybe it'd been better if i had more sun-kissed skin tone to match my reddish hair. Well, make do with it lor.
Afternoon went how to tidy up my house with mama (my aunt). There were so much to clear. In the milst, i came across this photo of my late-mum, in her early 20s. She look kinda pretty. Well, that's not the part about it. More significantly, it's bringing tears and memories of her gone.
Oki.. (phew..)
Came back to granny's house around 3pm. Went jogging straight away (getting fat liao). After that rushed down Plaza Singapura to meet my super-good-friend, Edwin. I was super late. Omg. Oops. Sorry.
We dined at the Glass House since poor Edwin has never been to Fish n Co before. Under the recommendation from his friend, he ordered the Swordfish with rice. I had my favourite Fish n Chips. Hmm...he couldn't finish the large serving (2 enormous slice of swordfish!), to be dripped into a sauce which i thought tasted like Thai Chili Oil. But Edwin said there's mango sauce in it.
The swordfish tasted like those fried flat-fish my granny used to cook... salty and fishy. Hehe.
Of course! No match for my Fish n Chips!
Omg. It was damn filling. Sigh.. there goes all my jogging effort in the evening. :'(
After that, we went to watch the 93.3FM 6th Gold Music Awards mini-billboard performance. It stages a segment of all the final 6 terms from Superband (nothing much) and 8 singers, comprising of local singers like Tsui Chun Jia, Kelly Poon, Hong Jun Yang and overseas artistes like Fan, He Yao Sun, Guang Liang, Tank... Ok la.. but unfortunately, it's damn cramped, thereby causing everybody to perspire like crazy. Didn't really concentrate none was I "enthu" over this event. Was just being a super good friend, accoying Edwin since he wanted to watch his favourite Superband live.
Was on my way home when the heart ache releapsed again. Have you ever felt so hurt that your heart feels as if it's bleeding? or it feels as if your whole heart is drenched with tears which just can't flow down ur cheeks? It hurts so much that you wish you're better off dead. It hurts so much you feel so empty in your heart.
Only the sole misery... Desperate desire... Ultimate screaming loneliness... Unexplainable quiet frustration... Frail hope...
Sometimes memories will rush in... triggered by what you saw, listened, smelled, touched..
Sweet memories which will make you feel nostalgic about...
Regretful memories which will burns your cheeks...
Sad memories which will cause you to weep...
I also thought... i'm freaked out.. that i'm aging. I really don't want to be older and realised i don't have someone who loves and be loved by me.
Unknowingly, the feeling of loss sips into the mind. Intrigating a undeniable confused state of mind... a question that's beyond any possible solution. I hate this. I really do.
Today's just another day for me. Waking up in the morning, giving some thoughts to that special someone i've been missing. Despite it's already been 2 mths plus since our final parting.
The morning wet weather was a spolit to my initial plan of going for jog and hopeful, leisure swim and suntanning. Instead, i stayed indoors. Having my hair dyed DIY. End product? looks oki. Stunning red hair! Kinda pleased by it. Disappointingl, i was thinking that maybe it'd been better if i had more sun-kissed skin tone to match my reddish hair. Well, make do with it lor.
Afternoon went how to tidy up my house with mama (my aunt). There were so much to clear. In the milst, i came across this photo of my late-mum, in her early 20s. She look kinda pretty. Well, that's not the part about it. More significantly, it's bringing tears and memories of her gone.
Oki.. (phew..)
Came back to granny's house around 3pm. Went jogging straight away (getting fat liao). After that rushed down Plaza Singapura to meet my super-good-friend, Edwin. I was super late. Omg. Oops. Sorry.
We dined at the Glass House since poor Edwin has never been to Fish n Co before. Under the recommendation from his friend, he ordered the Swordfish with rice. I had my favourite Fish n Chips. Hmm...he couldn't finish the large serving (2 enormous slice of swordfish!), to be dripped into a sauce which i thought tasted like Thai Chili Oil. But Edwin said there's mango sauce in it.
The swordfish tasted like those fried flat-fish my granny used to cook... salty and fishy. Hehe.
Of course! No match for my Fish n Chips!
Omg. It was damn filling. Sigh.. there goes all my jogging effort in the evening. :'(
After that, we went to watch the 93.3FM 6th Gold Music Awards mini-billboard performance. It stages a segment of all the final 6 terms from Superband (nothing much) and 8 singers, comprising of local singers like Tsui Chun Jia, Kelly Poon, Hong Jun Yang and overseas artistes like Fan, He Yao Sun, Guang Liang, Tank... Ok la.. but unfortunately, it's damn cramped, thereby causing everybody to perspire like crazy. Didn't really concentrate none was I "enthu" over this event. Was just being a super good friend, accoying Edwin since he wanted to watch his favourite Superband live.
Was on my way home when the heart ache releapsed again. Have you ever felt so hurt that your heart feels as if it's bleeding? or it feels as if your whole heart is drenched with tears which just can't flow down ur cheeks? It hurts so much that you wish you're better off dead. It hurts so much you feel so empty in your heart.
Only the sole misery... Desperate desire... Ultimate screaming loneliness... Unexplainable quiet frustration... Frail hope...
Sometimes memories will rush in... triggered by what you saw, listened, smelled, touched..
Sweet memories which will make you feel nostalgic about...
Regretful memories which will burns your cheeks...
Sad memories which will cause you to weep...
I also thought... i'm freaked out.. that i'm aging. I really don't want to be older and realised i don't have someone who loves and be loved by me.
Unknowingly, the feeling of loss sips into the mind. Intrigating a undeniable confused state of mind... a question that's beyond any possible solution. I hate this. I really do.
Thursday, June 22, 2006
De one with another day
Sunny and breezy
Today's thursday. Boring day. Yesterday marks 2 mths before my birthday woh.. sigh... till now i've yet to plan how am i going to celebrate. Sigh..thought at the beginning of the year, that special someone will celebrate and make my 21st birthday a memorable one. Since my late-mummy can't make it. Sigh. Stil recall she saying she might get my a "golden key".
Today i went jogging again. Feel lighter now. haha.
My annual JC civis-group outing commencing this Saturday. Miss last year's due to my mum's funeral wake. Hmm... anticipating it even though i bear abit of anxiety cause didn't see the class people for over years. Wonder how it will be and how everyone has transformed into.
2S26, cya on this weekend!
Today's thursday. Boring day. Yesterday marks 2 mths before my birthday woh.. sigh... till now i've yet to plan how am i going to celebrate. Sigh..thought at the beginning of the year, that special someone will celebrate and make my 21st birthday a memorable one. Since my late-mummy can't make it. Sigh. Stil recall she saying she might get my a "golden key".
Today i went jogging again. Feel lighter now. haha.
My annual JC civis-group outing commencing this Saturday. Miss last year's due to my mum's funeral wake. Hmm... anticipating it even though i bear abit of anxiety cause didn't see the class people for over years. Wonder how it will be and how everyone has transformed into.
2S26, cya on this weekend!
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